“Nothing really good ever is.”
Tal couldn’t keep the grin off her face as Salomen went through the menu, discarding various dishes as too expensive or too common—“I could make this at the holding as well; why is Corsine asking a Lancer’s ransom for something this easy?”—and finally settling on a soup, main dish, and dessert. When she slid the cover back over her menu and looked up, heat suffused her cheeks. “What?”
“I was just enjoying watching you concentrate. You develop an adorable crinkle right here.” Tal pointed at her own forehead, just above her nose.
“I do not crinkle.”
“You do. I’ve watched it for nearly three ninedays.”
“Thank you very much; now I’m embarrassed.”
“Is that all it takes?”
“Always looking for the tactical advantage, aren’t you?”
“Of course. It’s part of that greatest warrior thing.”
Salomen chuckled. “I knew you wouldn’t let that go.”
“Do you blame me? All this time I’ve wondered if anyone on Hol-Opah even knew what I did in that battle. No one has mentioned a word or asked any questions, not even Jaros. And if Jaros isn’t asking me, it can only be because he has no idea.”
“Or because he was instructed not to.”
Tal sat back in her chair. “Really?”
Salomen took a leisurely sip of her spirits. “You were such an arrogant ass when you challenged me. I couldn’t bear the idea of you coming to my holding and being treated like Fahla’s favorite by my own family and field workers. So I told everyone to act as if you were just a regular guest who had nothing to do with the Voloth. I wasn’t going to allow you any edge based solely on your rank or title—or even the fact that you single-handedly turned that battle.” She drummed her fingers lightly on the glass. “Then after your first few days with us, when you never brought any of that up yourself, Father said you might prefer it that way. That it might be a relief for you to be treated as if none of that had happened.”
“So you were motivated by competition, while Shikal was being compassionate.”
Salomen’s gaze turned sharp. “You let me think you needed twenty Guards and waited a full day to tell me otherwise. Don’t talk to me about competition.”
Tal couldn’t help it; just the memory of that vidcom call made her snort with laughter. “And you should have seen yourself when I told you. You were trying so hard to be calm about it, but the relief was written all over your face.”
“Were the homicidal thoughts written there, too?”
Tal laughed harder. “No, you managed to keep those to yourself until the first day, when you toured me around.”
“Oh, you were a dokker’s backside that afternoon,” Salomen said, but her lips were twitching.
“I know I was. Somehow you managed to neutralize every diplomatic instinct I ever had, along with most of my manners. And then I couldn’t understand why you were so nice to Gehrain and Micah when you were such a vallcat with me.”
“And people say you’re a strategic thinker.”
“I am when my head isn’t on backwards. I’m sorry, Salomen.”
“Well…” Salomen blew out a breath. “I’m sorry, too. You were right, you know. When you said I was defensive about my position. I’m proud of Hol-Opah, but you were coming from the damn State House. I just knew you were looking at everything and thinking how shabby it was.”
“Actually, I was looking at everything and thinking how beautiful it was. Including you.” She enjoyed Salomen’s smile and added, “Shikal was right, too. It has been a relief to be treated like a normal person. So please don’t change anything.”
“Too late for that,” Salomen said quietly. Her gaze shifted past Tal’s shoulder, and she stiffened. “Well, the air in here just became a great deal more stifling.”
Tal had already sensed it and could see the new arrivals from the corner of her eye. “Who are they?”
“The overweight pompous one is Gordense Bilsner. His equally pompous bondmate is Iversina, and the obnoxious boy is Cullom, Gordense’s son by his first bondmate.” Salomen looked back at Tal. “You’re surprised.”
“The last person I heard you describe so unkindly was me. You’re usually less judgmental.”
“I was wrong about you because I didn’t know you, but I know the Bilsners very well. Believe me, the descriptions are well-earned.” Salomen’s expression hardened as she added, “They don’t treat their field workers well. Many of them have come to Hol-Opah to ask for employment, and they’ve told me stories to raise your hair. I’ve taken all that I could, and only wish I could rescue them all. No one deserves the treatment that passes for normal at Hol-Bilsner. Gordense and Iversina are insufferable at caste house meetings; they think that owning more land makes them better than anyone else. It’s particularly annoying with Iversina because she should know better. She comes from a poor family, but apparently her memory is short. Unfortunately, Cullom has absorbed their self-inflating beliefs and mixed them with the arrogance of youth.”
“A bad combination.”
“Very bad. And he and Herot have become friends.”
Tal shook her head. “Now I understand your concern.” She watched in her peripheral vision as the Bilsners were led to a table near the center of the room. Gordense was not pleased with the location and motioned toward the tables by the windows. Then he saw her and Salomen, and Tal felt a swell of outright hatred. He spoke to his bondmate as they sat, causing a surge of negative emotions from his family.
“They clearly don’t like one of us. Which one is it?” Tal took a casual sip of her drink, her senses alert.
“That’s difficult to say. Gordense has made a point of snubbing and undermining me at every opportunity since I turned down his bond offer. But he—” She stopped as Tal abruptly thumped her glass to the table.
“That little fanten made you a bond offer?”
“No, he made my land a bond offer. Our holdings adjoin; if we had bonded, we would have controlled most of the land in this district. I never deluded myself into thinking it was anything more than political or financial, which is why I could never understand his anger when I said no. It was business for him, but he took the rejection personally.”
“The rejection meant he didn’t get what he wanted, and to someone like that, it becomes personal.” Tal knew the type. She had dealt with far too many of them on the Council.
“The odd thing is that on the surface, he’s been very friendly to me since I began speaking out against…ah…”
“Against me?” It was not unexpected, after all.
Salomen took a steadying drink of her spirits. “Yes. I thought your policies were an extraordinary danger to our caste, and I said what I thought at our caste house meetings. I’m sorry to have been one of the voices that have caused you such trouble.”
“Don’t be. You were true to your beliefs, and I respect that.”
“Do you forgive everyone so readily?”
“I forgive based on truth. When you were convinced that my policies would destroy your caste, you spoke your truth. The important thing is that you’ve learned a new truth, and tomorrow you’ll be speaking it before your peers. That’s integrity. Why would I need to forgive that?”
“Every day I learn something more about you, and every day I wonder how I could have been so wrong.”
“We were both wrong. But I’m happy with where we are now.”
Salomen reached across the table and took her hand. “I am, too. For all my fear of this, I’m very happy.”
The moment was interrupted by the arrival of their soup. Salomen released her hand and sat back, smiling sheepishly. As the waiter departed she said, “Caught holding hands like a pair of pre-Rite lovers.”
“Oh, no, this was much worse. You were caught holding hands with the single
most dangerous person to your caste. Not only that, but one of the most powerful landholders in the district saw it. You’re in trouble tomorrow.”
“Gordense saw it?”
“He can’t keep his eyes off this table.”
“Damn. I didn’t think about that. My word will mean less tomorrow if Gordense can accuse me of personal involvement.” Salomen picked up her spoon and took a sip of her soup. “Oh, this is good.”
Tal sampled hers and bit back a moan. “Fahla! Corsine should have a restaurant in Blacksun. He’d have every wealthy Alsean at his door, begging for a reservation. Why is he here in Granelle?”
“Because his bondmate was born and raised here. She hates Blacksun.”
They both paused, and by mutual unspoken agreement decided not to pursue that line of conversation.
“I think your personal involvement could be to your advantage,” Tal said. “Surely everyone knows that you’re not easily fooled, nor do you say anything you don’t mean. If you tell your peers that you’re revising your opinion precisely because of what you’ve learned from our discussions—will they not respect that?”
“Hm. They might.” Salomen thoughtfully sipped her soup. “In fact…” Another sip, and her face brightened. “That might just be the key. I’d planned to avoid all mention of our relationship, but perhaps I should do the opposite. Acknowledge it so it can’t be used against me and use it to strengthen my testimony.”
“Who knew that producers could be such strategic thinkers?”
“If you haven’t learned by now that strategy is a part of our daily lives, then I’ve taught you nothing these last three ninedays.” Salomen frowned. “But if I had my wish, I wouldn’t be wasting my time thinking about this. Neither would you. It’s so unfair that after all your work, a few individuals could jeopardize everything.”
“Actually, it’s one individual.”
“What?”
Tal exhaled. “I think I need to tell you about Darzen Fosta.”
The explanation took the rest of the soup course and all of the main dish, and if Tal had been concerned about discussing another past relationship with her tyree, by the end she was more worried about Darzen’s physical health should they ever meet.
“I cannot believe she would take such a drastic, damaging path just to revenge herself! What kind of person puts their personal feelings above the well-being of our entire culture, for Fahla’s sake? Can she not see beyond her own shekking ego? Does she have any idea how much damage she’s caused?”
“It’s her truth. I honestly don’t believe she’s doing this for revenge.”
Salomen stared at her. “You really do live your beliefs, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.”
“And what if you find that it was deliberate?”
Tal took a moment to drink the last of her spirits. Setting the glass to one side, she said, “I hope it never comes to that, because I never want you to see that side of me.”
The silence at their table lasted long enough for the waiter to clear their plates and set out dessert. When they were alone again, Salomen spoke more calmly.
“I keep thinking that should frighten me. But the strange thing is, it doesn’t. I know you’ve been ruthless in the past, and you probably will be in the future. Surely it must be part of your position. But I also know you to be fair almost to a fault. If someone earns your wrath, then it must be well deserved.”
“Thank you. That means a great deal to—oh, shek.” Tal put her face in her hands.
“What is it?”
“I nearly forgot. Someone did earn my wrath tonight. I don’t know how to tell you this.”
“Herot.”
“How did you know?”
“Andira, he’s my brother. I felt it. Both of you. Well, you not so much.”
“You felt that and you just let it happen? And then you kissed me in the transport! How could you…great Mother, you’ve learned to front well!”
Salomen smiled. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”
“I’m not flustered, I’m shocked.”
“I know. I probably should have said something earlier, but I didn’t want Herot and his problems to be in the middle of our date. But now that he’s here anyway, I guess we need to discuss it. What happened? I know he was angry and bitter, which is a normal state of mind for him these days, and somehow he managed to make you angry as well. Then his emotions were everywhere at once, but the strongest I felt was shame and regret. I have no idea what you said to him, but it had a spectacular effect.”
Tal’s initial relief vanished. She didn’t know after all. “I…well, there wasn’t much of a conversation.”
Salomen’s eyes narrowed. “What did you do?”
“I hit him.”
“You hit him?”
Tal straightened in her chair. “He said something I could not overlook. I’m sorry, truly I am, but I do have limits and he went well over them.”
Now it was Salomen’s turn to put her face in her hands. “All right,” she said to the table, “I think you’d better tell me what he said.”
“I’d rather not.”
Salomen lifted her head. “That was not a request. If you hit my brother because of something he said, I need to know what it was.”
After a long pause, Tal said, “He made an extremely crude reference regarding my intentions toward you. It impugned both my honor and yours. And that is all I will say.”
“Oh, Herot, you grainbird. Never mind, I don’t need to know any more. He was just pushing as hard as he could.”
“Yes, well, I think he pushed a little further than he intended.”
“Where did you hit him?”
“Just below the sternum. He was still trying to breathe when I left him. He’ll be bruised and sore, but it won’t cause any damage. I think my last words hurt him more than the blow. I asked him if he thought Nashta would be proud of him.”
“That’s what I felt. Oh yes, you hurt him.” Salomen took a thoughtful bite of her dessert. “Well, perhaps that will make a difference. I’ve tried everything I could think of, and so have Father and Nikin, but none of us can get through. He’s been angry at the world and everyone in it since Mother’s Return. I’m sorry you’ve been pulled into this.”
“I think I’d be involved anyway. Varsi gave me a new point of view while we walked to my transport, and it made sense. She suggested that Herot is afraid of losing you to me. Long term.”
“Oh.” Salomen put her fork down. “Oh, shek. I didn’t think of that. For all his anger and disrespect toward me, I’m still the closest thing to a mother figure he has. If he’s afraid of me going away with you, then…”
“Then he would lash out at me in any way he could,” Tal finished. “And by losing my temper, I played right into it. But I couldn’t do otherwise, Salomen. I could not let that insult stand.”
“I know. I’m not blaming you. He’s been pushing all of us to our limits, and insulting my honor and yours—oh, for the love of our Goddess, what was he thinking? He insulted the Lancer’s honor!”
“You just now noticed that?”
“Agh! What are we going to do with him? If we don’t pull him back onto a path of decent behavior soon, he’s going to be lost. Not everyone is as forgiving as you, and even you were angry enough to hit him. What if the next person isn’t so forgiving? Or so good at landing a minimally damaging blow?” She looked at Tal’s expression of surprise and added, “I listen when you tell me your stories, Andira. I know how easily you could have hurt him. I also know that you intentionally chose not to. Thank you for that.”
“You don’t seriously think I would have done real damage, do you? To your brother?”
“Of course not. My point is that someone else might.” She shook her head. “I wish Mother were here. Fahla, but I miss her. She would know wh
at to do.”
“I’m sorry.” They were supremely inadequate words, but there was little more Tal could say.
“I know. And I know you understand, and that helps.” Salomen paused. “Hm. Maybe he’s pushing you because you’re the next best thing to Mother.”
“Excuse me?”
“No, think about it. The one person he truly respected was Mother. She would never have let him get away with a tenth of this behavior. She’d have told him he wasn’t too big for a stripping, and it would not have been a bluff.”
Tal already respected Nashta Opah, but this information gave her a whole new outlook on the woman. Stripping was a last-resort punishment designed to shame children into proper behavior. Taking away a child’s clothing and replacing it with the clothing of a much younger child forced the miscreant to dress the age he or she was acting. The public humiliation factor was very high, rendering it a punishment so effective that usually the mere threat of it could bring a recalcitrant child into line. But it was never used once a child reached the Rite of Ascension. For Nashta to actually back up such a threat was astonishing.
“You’re the only other person he hasn’t been able to bluff,” Salomen continued. “You turned down his advances, left him in the dirt on your run, took him down like a small child when he tried to hit you, and actually struck him tonight. Every time he’s pushed you, it hasn’t worked. You consistently make him pay the consequences for his actions, and I think he keeps coming back for more because somewhere deep down inside, he needs what you’re doing. You’ve earned his respect.”
Tal laughed. “You had me on that line of reasoning right up until the last sentence. Herot does not respect me. If he did, he would never have spoken the way he did tonight.”
“He does, Andira. You’re just accustomed to respect being displayed in a different manner. I grew up with three brothers; believe me when I say their notions of demonstrating respect don’t coincide with those of trained warriors.” Salomen leaned forward. “You’re the Lancer. You’re an authority figure by your title alone, and you’ve demonstrated that authority on several occasions now. I think you’re precisely what he’s been missing since Mother went to her Return.”
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