“Jackson?” I expected to have a whole car ride to psych myself up, and now that he’s here in front of me I’m not entirely sure what to say. “What’s going on?”
He pauses next to me and sticks his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. “I saw the party got moved.” His eyes capture mine and I suck in a breath. God, he looks good. He looks like Jackson and smells like home and he’s everything I want, standing in front of me, just out of reach. It feels electric and connected, him watching me while I watch him.
It’s almost unbearable to be this close to Jackson without touching him.
“Yeah.” I wind my hands together. “It’s a long story involving burst pipes and what I can imagine might have been quite a lot of raw sewage.”
“Sounds shitty.”
I give him a weak smile. “That’s what I said. But what are you doing here?”
“Looking for you. The last time you ran away from me I spent a year writing you letters. I finally got a second chance with you. Did you think I’d let you go that easy?”
Tears stick in my throat. “But I hurt you.”
He nods. “You did, Nat. But I’m stronger than I look. And some things are worth fighting for.”
“I know.”
He cocks his head to the side and motions toward the car. “Where were you going, anyway?”
I give a little laugh. “To find you.”
His eyebrows rise and he waits for me to continue. I would have thought that after all this practice taking risks, it would get easier. I guess it does, a little, over time. But in business, it’s clear where I stand, and when it comes to loving Jackson Wirth, anything goes.
“I’m really good at quitting things,” I tell him quietly. His green eyes burn into mine, searching. “College, my book, eight hundred knitting projects. But I didn’t throw in the towel with this business, even when my money got scammed. You helped me stick it out. And I’m not quitting tonight. On anything.”
I don’t notice the tear rolling down my cheek until Jackson swipes it away with his thumb. “Don’t cry,” he says softly. “You’re going to ruin your makeup.”
Of course I just cry harder.
“I can do this without you,” I say. “But I don’t want to.” I draw a shaky breath. “You asked me why I couldn’t trust you and I didn’t give you an answer.” My hands clench tighter, tension crackling up into my shoulders. “It was a bad experience we had years ago. I know it’s stupid to keep holding onto it, so I’m going to let it go. You’ve changed. We both have.”
Jackson’s eyes cloud in confusion. “What experience?” he asks warily.
Why is this so hard to say? Even now, after Jackson’s seen me naked, seen me at my most exposed, I can’t help but cringe. “It was that kiss. That stupid kiss. You didn’t want me.”
His face sharpens with comprehension and he sucks in a fast breath. “I did, Natalie. Do you remember I was seeing someone that year?” I shake my head. I release my hands to swipe at a wayward tear. I can’t be responsible for remembering who he was dating and when. “I was seeing Beth Sanders when you kissed me. God, I’d wanted you for so long, Natalie, but you never put anything out there until that kiss. And I couldn’t be the kind of guy that cheats on his girlfriend.” His voice cracks. “I couldn’t be that guy for you.”
My heart trips in my chest, my fingertips tingling. This better not be what a heart attack feels like. I need to hear what Jackson has to say. If he’s saying what I think he’s saying…God.
“Do you know what I did, Nat? The minute you kissed me I went to find Beth and break up with her. And then the next day when I came to find you, you were already gone.”
No. How can that be right? All those years wasted for nothing. All that silence and loneliness and missing him while my world fell apart again and again. But the moment he says it, I know it’s true.
My tears come harder now. “Oh my god, Jackson. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“A guy can get the wrong impression, you know. With how often you run away.” He gives a sad shake of his head.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He draws me into his arms, settling my cheek against his chest. I can hear his heartbeat through the wash-softened material of his shirt and I snuggle closer. Why had I ever thought being apart from him would protect me? I need his touch like I need to breathe. “But it was probably a good thing.” What? I tilt my head to look at him in surprise and he gives me a reassuring smile. “I wouldn’t have been ready for you.” He strokes the back of my head in a soothing rhythm.
I lift my eyebrows. “And you are now?”
“Yeah.” He leans forward to brush a gentle kiss over my lips. “Yeah, I’m ready for you.” My relief is sweet and true. Jackson reaches out to swipe away another tear, and for the first time since we've been standing here, he cracks a grin. “Natalie, you are the most stubborn woman I know.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Even when something’s good for you, you don’t always let it just be.”
“I know,” I say. “And I’m sorry.” I can apologize for a hundred lifetimes and it might not be enough.
“Here’s the thing. If we’re going to be together, there’s no holding back. No holding it over my head that you can leave.” I nod and he continues. “And if we’re going to do this, I don’t want Delilah Overbrook. I want Natalie Bloom. All of you, as challenging as you can be.”
I smile up at him. “Well, that’s who you get. I asked Mrs. Keaton to spread the news so the whole damn town probably knows about this party by now. And it’s my party, not Delilah’s.”
“You told Mrs. Keaton about your lube business?” Jackson’s face is incredulous.
I nod in confirmation. “It’s the new me.” I smile. “Take it or leave it.”
“God, I love you,” he says. Jackson Wirth with his cocky smile and his knowing eyes. He loves me.
And I love him too. Tucked in his arms I realize that loving Jackson Wirth has never hurt. It’s the one thing that’s always felt good. Losing him and being rejected and feeling lonely and jealous—those things hurt. But loving him freely? It’s the one thing in the world that smooths all the cracks away.
Jackson grins at me one more time and slides his hands down my arms. He grabs my fingers gently and I let him lead me off the pavement, to a tiny patch of grass near the path to Accident Lake. “But just to show you I’m serious.”
Before I know what’s happening, Jackson drops onto his knees and bows his head and hands against the summer grass like a prayer. Then he draws his legs into his chest and up into the air. Six-foot-one-inch Jackson Wirth balances on his head, his muscles straining, the biggest smile on his face.
“Oh my god, you’re doing it,” I laugh. “I was kidding.”
Jackson tumbles forward in a somersault and lands on his back in the grass. “I wasn’t.” He pulls me down next to him and draws me into one last kiss. The grass soaks into my dress but I don’t even care. “So it was worth it? You believe me?”
“Yeah.” I smile. “I really, really do.” And for the first time with him I lay it all out there. “I love you too.”
Jackson’s smile might be the only thing I need. “That’s a relief. Otherwise I would have learned how to do all that for nothing.”
“It was worth it.” I climb to my feet and smile down at him. “How did you learn that anyway?”
“YouTube. And a lot of flopping around like a jackass.”
“Well you get an A plus for execution.” I give him a sneaky grin. “But where’s the tutu?”
“At home.” He catches my eye and winks. “Maybe you can wear it for me later.” And then a low growl. “And nothing else.”
I blush down to my toes. “We might be able to arrange that.” I reach for his hand and pull him to his feet. “But first I need your help.”
“What did you have in mind?”
I wrap my fingers around his and smile. “I’ve got a pretty important party to go to, and I happen to need a
date.”
Chapter 52
I’m ten minutes late to my own party by the time Jackson and I arrive at the bookstore, and the first person I see back by the display of romance novels and lube is my dad. I get that weird feeling that happens when you see someone out of place—a teacher at the mall, your dentist browsing the aisles of Target two towns away—that disorienting feeling of all your worlds colliding.
I glance at Abigail, who’s flitting between the tables, and she shakes her head, no, this wasn’t her doing.
I walk up to him, ready to diffuse a scene if I need to. “Dad, what are you doing here?” I can’t find Gayle’s angular face among the crowd, but still. My dad is here, holding a bottle of lube in one hand and a Sex on the Beach cocktail in the other.
He shrugs, a flustered smile spreading across his face. “I’m here to support you.” The strangest mix of pride and embarrassment washes over me because, once again, my dad is here. Holding a bottle of lube. Yuck.
I drop my eyes to the rich red-and-gold pattern of the carpet. Might as well get in all my apologies tonight. Wipe the karma slate clean. “I’m sorry I lied about how I planned to use the money. I will pay you back.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“What?” I look up, tears threatening to spill over, but my dad’s voice is warm.
“You don’t need to pay me back.”
“But I told you I was using it for school.” I cringe. So much for looking a gift horse in the mouth.
“You told me you were taking an online marketing class, if I remember correctly.”
“Right.” Where is he going with this?
“Well, did you learn marketing? Advertising? How to spread the word?” He gestures around the packed room and I shrug. “And how about that world-building in fiction? Did you learn that too?”
I blush, thinking about the marketing text I recited for Jackson. “Yeah. I did learn those things.”
“Then consider the money an investment in your education. In fact, here.” He digs into the pocket of his chinos and hands me an envelope. I peek inside and my heart pounds. It’s all the money I’ve been slipping under his door.
I blink, stunned. “Dad, no.” This is more than I deserve.
Before I can speak again my dad circles his arms around me and pats my back. “I’m happy you’ve found a way to create, no matter what your, um, medium might be. And I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t trust me.”
I blink back grateful tears and look up at him. “Thank you Dad. And it’s not you, it’s me. I’m working on it.”
He squeezes me again and steps back. “No crying at your party.”
“Right.” I narrow my eyes at him. “How did you even find out about this event?”
My dad shrugs. “I follow Penchant on Instagram.”
“Right,” I say. Of course he does.
“And Twitter.”
It’s hard to process the fact that my dad has been supporting me without my knowledge, that at some point after he found out about my business, he jumped on social media to watch everything grow. Hell, I didn’t even know he was on social media to begin with. The whole thing is so surreal I almost laugh, but a familiar face makes its way over to us before I can say anything else.
“Mandy?” I wrap her in a hug. “What are you doing here?”
My friend grins at me. “You know me and a party. I just can’t stay away.”
“Well, I’m glad you came.”
“Me too. Look at all these people who came out for you. This is amazing.” I follow her gaze around the room and have to agree.
The romance section of McCafferty’s Books is more crowded than I’ve ever seen it. Whether or not that’s due to people’s sheer curiosity or amusement has yet to be determined, but people from my town cluster in the aisles, sneaking bites of Better than Sex cupcakes and paging through the novels Abby has recommended.
These are my customers, in every shape and size, reading the back of my lube bottles. It’s the proudest I’ve been in a long time, and I can’t wipe the smile from my face. This moment is worth every wrong turn, every bad decision. It doesn’t hurt that the whole store smells like books and sugar—like the perfect date night, if I wasn’t working and surrounded by a ton of strangers.
Mandy cocks her head and studies me, a small smile on her lips. “You’re going to stay here, aren’t you?” She gestures around the room. “In this town?”
“Yeah. I think I am.” Until I said the words, I didn’t realize how true they are, but admitting this to myself feels like the biggest relief. Everything I need is here. My business, Jackson. But my smile drops as I look at my friend. “I really wanted to come back to Boston with you. We had plans.”
She waves away my protest. “It’s all good. Because me and that guy…” She gives me a wicked grin. “Well, do friends get a lube discount?”
I laugh and roll my eyes. “I’ll see what I can do.”
A warm, gentle hand presses against the small of my back and I know without looking that Jackson is there. Yes, please. More. I lean into his touch. I didn’t know how much I’d been missing it, the feel of his hands on me, my body coming alive.
“I’m sorry to interrupt but there’s someone who has questions about a wholesale order,” he says against my ear. The timbre of his voice sparks a molten desire in my belly. Out on the grass earlier, we kissed for another few minutes, but when Jackson mentioned the time, we left before things could go further. There’s so much we haven’t said. So much I want to do.
I excuse myself from the conversation with Mandy and follow Jackson across the room.
Energy races up my spine as I weave through the crowd. When Jackson finally stops in front of a middle-aged woman wearing a navy swing dress, I realize I recognize her. She’s the cashier from the grocery store, and in the past few weeks she’s seen me buy more bread and cheese than I’m proud of. We’ve exchanged small talk about the weather, but I’ve never properly introduced myself. Still, she shakes my hand, an eager smile on her face.
“Jackson was telling me you might have some wholesale opportunities.”
I nod. So far I hadn’t thought past selling bottles to consumers, but if I’ve learned anything in the past few weeks it’s not to say no to an opportunity just because it scares you. “What did you have in mind?” I ask.
“Well, my boyfriend purchases sex toys for his company. Maybe he could buy some lube wholesale and sell it with the toys as a package deal?”
“That’s a great idea.” I smile wider and hand her a business card. “Send me an email and we can get a quote started for you right away.”
The woman glances down at the card, a pretty design I’d thrown together. I’d even splurged on rounded corners and extra thick paper for the cards. A look of confusion crosses her face.
“Oh,” I say. I know exactly what she’s looking at. “Ignore the Delilah part. I’m Natalie Bloom.”
She tucks the card into her wallet. “That’s what I thought.” It looks like I’m going to have to buy some new cards, but it’s a small price to pay to be me. All of me.
For the rest of the night, people come out of the woodwork to talk to me about lube, including someone who runs a dating website and wants to do some promos with Penchant products. It turns out that in our sleepy town, more people have sexy secrets than I ever knew. All they needed was a conversation starter to share their stories.
It’s funny because I’ve spent my whole time back in Swan’s Hollow feeling alone, feeling like people would judge me if they knew about my business, but we’re more connected than I ever knew. The fact that I sell through the whole case of lube I brought with me is icing on the top.
Jackson and I stay at the store for a few more hours, talking to people and handing out business cards. As the clock winds down and a final call to order comes over the loudspeaker, Mackenzie, the girl from the children's section who's got a crush on Jackson, sweeps into the romance section, all willowy limbs and floaty
hair.
I feel a prickle of awareness go down my spine.
“Jackson,” Mackenzie says, like they’re old friends. “Congrats on tonight’s success. I heard you did all this.”
She touches a hand to Jackson’s bicep and I freeze. I get that feeling like I did back in high school when I used to watch Jackson with other girls, that pang of jealousy and regret, but I quickly shake it off. He’s here with me. Because of me. And when I see the way he looks at me, everything else falls away.
Jackson steps out from Mackenzie’s grasp discreetly, and slides an arm around my waist. “Nope, not my doing at all. This whole thing was Natalie’s brainchild.”
He kisses the top of my head, and the whole side of my body goes warm from the heat of him. It doesn’t matter that my high heels are pinching my toes or that my makeup is still half-smudged from my tears in the parking lot. It matters that I’m here, doing what I love with people I love. I did this. I tighten my grip on Jackson. We did.
Chapter 53
Abigail touches my shoulder as I’m loading a vase of flowers into a cardboard box to carry out to my car. The party ended an hour ago and with the crowd gone, the bookstore is filled with the quiet sounds of closing: the shuffle of bills being counted, the papery whisper of books being reshelved.
“The bartender and caterer are gone,” Abby says. “Why don’t you get out of here? You look like you’re going to fall asleep standing up.”
“It’s been an exhausting day.” I stretch my neck, breathing in the sweet scent of peonies and roses. “But we’re not done cleaning up. Let me at least help put the shelves in order.”
Abigail waves me off. “Can you even drive safely?”
“Yes,” I promise.
Abby eyes me skeptically, then turns to Jackson. “Jackson, you’ll take care of her?”
“I will.” He squeezes my hand and gives me a look I hope Abby doesn’t see, all heat and promise in those green eyes.
Abigail purses her lips. “Okay,” she finally says. “That’s all I need to know.” It’s as close to a sign of approval as he’s going to get from her, and it makes me feel better, somehow. It’s going to be okay.
A Slippery Slope Page 24
