by Frankie Love
I can’t bear to hear them tell me that I’m right; I’m not enough.
“Chloe?” Ethan’s voice cuts through my dark thoughts. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah,” I call out, reaching for the water and turning it off.
Ethan comes in bare-chested, wearing a pair of sweats, and hands me a towel. “We didn’t want you to be alone,” he says. Behind him, I see my other men. Enzo, Mason, and Noah, all waiting for me.
Their presence here, in my steamy bathroom, immediately puts me at ease, and all my worries seem to slip away as they reach for me, pulling me toward them. I may doubt myself in a thousand ways, but my men haven’t left me, not now, not yet. They are here, still standing, and drawing me near.
“Baby, don’t cry,” Noah says, wrapping a towel around me as I step from the shower. My hair drips on the tile floor, and I watch Enzo and Mason step back to my bedroom, turning on the lamp and pulling back my blankets.
Ethan takes a comb and begins to untangle my hair as Noah dries me off. “You’re all being too good to me,” I tell them, overwhelmed.
“No such thing, Chloe, you’re our everything,” Ethan says from behind me, his words tickling my ear.
“And you are carrying too much on your own,” Noah says.
Their words really help ease my uncertainty. After all, they were the two who seemed most shocked and underwhelmed downstairs when I told them the news.
Mason comes back into the bathroom, our eyes meeting. When he looks at me, he sees me as the best version of myself. But sometimes that belief in me, it’s scary. Like, am I really the woman he imagines? Am I really as good and pure and true as he deserves?
“They’re right,” Mason says. “Whatever happens these next nine months, you have to let us be the ones to help carry you.”
Behind me, Ethan kisses the base of my neck, pushing aside my wet hair. I close my eyes, letting the moment wash over me.
His lips on my bare skin feel like a sunrise, hope in a new dawn. My head falls back and the towel drops as Noah lowers to his knees. His mouth is on my belly, kissing it softly, and tears prick my eye at the tenderness. I know Noah doesn’t want to be a father, he said as much at Disneyland a few weeks ago, but regardless, he is here, right now, with me.
Maybe they are right. Maybe all the problems can’t be solved in one night or in one month. Hell, in a lifetime. But maybe right now the answer I need, in this moment, is right in front of me.
Enzo takes a bottle of essential oil from my bathroom counter and cocks his head toward the bedroom.
We silently follow his lead, and he tells me to lie on my belly. I do as I am told. He rubs lavender massage oil on my back, his strong capable hands applying the perfect amount of pressure. I turn my head to the side, my cheek propped on a pillow, and find Mason there. He’s taken off his pants and I watch as he runs his hand over his thick shaft. It grows under his touch, and I feel my pussy get wet at the sight before me.
Mason is so hot, and it’s crazy to think someone, as ripped as him, could be aroused by me. But if his growing cock says anything, it’s that I do.
“It feels so good,” I moan as Enzo works out the tension in my shoulders. I turn my head and on the other side of me is Noah, who has also stepped out of his pants. His ladder of abs is something to behold and I bite my bottom lip, groaning at my mounting excitement.
“You like that, love?” he asks, but he knows I do because I reach out to him, rolling over so I am on my back, reaching one hand around him and my other hand around Mason on the other side of me. His big cock is so thick and smooth in my hand; I love the way it throbs under my touch.
Enzo straddles me, massaging my breasts tenderly, somehow aware that they are more sensitive than normal.
They are growing too.
“Bella,” he moans. “Your tits are so gorgeous,” I swear they’ve grown a cup size overnight and I smile widely, loving the attention. “They’ve gotten so big.”
“I know, and I’m hornier than I usually am too,” I admit. I feel Ethan’s hands press my legs apart, his mouth blowing warm air against my exposed pussy. I bite my bottom lip as his tongue presses against my cunt, licking and teasing me.
I love it when he gets me off with his powerful mouth, somehow his dark, angsty personality has figured out how to expertly get me off with a few flicks of his tongue, and even though he is usually so complicated, somehow when he starts working me over with his mouth, everything makes sense.
My pussy is so wet, so close to release. I lift my ass as Ethan licks me up and down, over and over again, bringing me closer and closer to the edge until I spill over. I come against Ethan’s mouth, my hands still holding two magnificent cocks. I orgasm in waves, crashing in great swells.
“Oh, God,” I whimper from the sensation of being with all four of my men at once. When we started messing around, it was only about pleasure, but now it is so much more than that. Now it is about making love. And that is how this room feels right now– perfectly devoted and fulfilled.
I try to push away my fears, the ones rocking against my heart.
A baby is going to change this perfection.
Change everything.
And I don’t want any of it to change. I want this. This moment. Forever.
I’m suddenly terrified of just how much I might lose.
Everything.
I roll over, on top of Enzo now, and press his hard cock into my cunt. “In a hurry, Bellissima?” he asks with a teasing smile, but I just nod. Suddenly, I need all of my loves close to my body, against me, near me, in me. With me.
I need them in a desperate, primal way.
I rock against Enzo’s cock, wanting him buried deep inside me, and I lift my ass, pulling Noah behind me.He holds my ass cheeks with his hands, and after applying lube, and inserting two fingers, he eases his way inside me. I cry out as the burning pleasure erupts inside me. I’m filled with two men. But I am hungry for more. Mason kneels before me, his cock is needy and his eyes so filled with desire it makes my core ache.
I lean over, my lips wrapping around his length. My mouth is full and my pussy is full and my ass is full and my heart? It is damn near exploding. Ethan lies on the bed beside us, slightly distant, but I am able to reach for his cock, and when I do I hear him sigh in relief.
It’s an orchestrated orgy, our bodies moving slowly as we enjoy one another, in no rush for the night to end. My body is devoured and enjoyed, and as I pump Ethan’s shaft, his come explodes from his velvety tip and feels beautiful. As Enzo’s cock releases deep inside my pussy, my body melts closer into him.
When Noah comes hard, holding my hips with both hands, my cries grow louder, his come filling my ass with such carnality that we both groan in complete devotion. When Mason’s horny cock fills my throat with his milky come I swallow it like a good lover, licking my lips and savoring every last drop.
We collapse on my bed, our bodies a tangle and our hearts entwined.
I have no idea how our story will end and neither do they. Noah lets his fears fall from his lips as the moon hangs low in the night sky and as the world around us sleeps. “I don’t want to let you down, baby.”
His fingers lace through mine, and we all burrow deeper into a cocoon of our own making.
Maybe if I fall asleep, I’ll wake up to this all having been a dream.
Chapter 9
MASON
The house is a mother fucking train wreck. Enzo’s dad has come at the most inopportune time. Chloe is a mess, not to mention Noah and Ethan are on fucking edge. Apparently, Chloe’s announcement rocked their worlds in a way that escaped Enzo and me. We are going to have a baby with the woman we love more than life itself. Why is this a bad thing? Shouldn’t it be the happiest time of our lives?
Instead, we got those two walking around dazed and confused and damn, Ethan’s the worst. He’s always looked like a fucking cloud was hovering above him, but the last few days it’s more than that. It’s a fucking tsunami up in here.
Right
now, it’s Enzo and I trying to keep this show together. His dad, Leo, figured it out pretty damn fast. Mostly because Enzo told him, which I understand–– he’s lucky to have such an honest relationship with his pops-- but Chloe was all bent out of shape about it. Didn’t want to tell anyone yet, but Enzo was all, Bella, this is how families work. We tell one another stuff that is important.
Which makes perfect sense to him and me, but Chloe isn’t exactly used to normative family dynamics.
“I just don’t understand why you told him,” she hisses on the back porch after she got clued into the fact that Leo knew of her condition.
“He is my father. I love him. He loves me; therefore, he loves you.”
“You don’t understand,” she says, exasperated. “It’s our story to tell, not just yours.”
“Is this how it’s always going to be?” he asks, exasperated. “You getting pissed at me for making my own decisions?”
I raise my eyebrows and step back into the house, letting those two quarrel in paradise without me.
What I need is some fun; I want to celebrate. This news is a fucking miracle. Our Chloe is having our baby. It’s the best scenario I never imagined for myself. A father.
Damn, it’s so fucking great.
“What are you so happy about?” Noah asks, scowling as he pours himself some coffee. Apparently our high from the orgy the other night wore off. Noah is all doom and gloom, joining Ethan in the corner for the lonely-hearts club. Only this one is of their own making and no one is asking them to stay. Apparently, they are under the impression that they have an all-access pass.
“What’s your deal? I’m tired of you moping around here like you got some bad news.”
Noah scoffs. “You don’t get it. You’re apparently all ready to daddy-up, but I don’t know, man, I’ve never changed a diaper. What do I know about all this?”
I lift an eyebrow, royally pissed. “You are so fucking far from the mark,” I tell him. “And I’m smiling because today is the doctor appointment. We get to hear the heartbeat. That is something to smile about.”
Ethan comes into the kitchen. Catching my last few words.
“What do you think the doctor is gonna think about all four of us coming in with Chloe?”
I shake my head, having had enough. “You guys are such fucking pansies, you know that? This is Chloe. Our Chloe, and you’re wondering what some asshole doctor thinks? Why should we care about that stranger when Chloe is halfway to her breaking point at any goddamn second?”
I storm from the kitchen, not waiting for a goddamn response. Not like I’d get one that would satisfy me anyway.
Outside I find Leo. He’s got a beach chair and a paperback thriller. He’s got the right fucking idea.
“How did you do it?” I ask him.
“Handle what, exactly?”
“Handle relationships. You were married for over twenty years, right?” I remember Enzo’s mom. She died a long time ago, but damn that woman could make a mean meatloaf and always remembered birthdays. She wasn’t the sort of woman a kid would ever forget.
“Yep, twenty-six, to be exact. And having Enzo was our whole world. But that was different than what you boys are playing at.”
I resent him for calling us boys, but I get where he’s coming from. However old school it might be, because this love for Chloe is the exact opposite. It is divided into quarters, but also one whole. It’s complicated as hell, and even though the math works out in my head, I know it doesn’t work for everyone else.
“I’m scared, man,” I admit. “Scared that the woman I love and my oldest, dearest friends aren’t gonna be able to pull through on the other side with this,” I remember the stony silence that enveloped the living room the other night when Chloe told us the news.
It rocked all our worlds.
But not everything survives a storm.
“You can’t be scared. I may have only had one partner and one son, but I know a lot about love. You can’t give up on it, and you’ve always gotta operate on the belief that we’re all doing the best we can.”
His words choke me up, like I’m a goddamn sucker. But hell, they’re pretty damn sweet to consider.
“You talk to Enzo like this?”
Leo raises his shoulders, gives me the Italian hems and haws and I ask what that means exactly. “It means, Enzo doesn’t ask about this, because it is engraved on the marrow of his bones, Mason. It’s who he is. Sure, he may fight with Chloe or be mad over things that don’t really matter at the end of the day but he isn’t out here asking philosophical questions because he already knows the answer.”
“And what’s that again?” I ask, wanting so badly to follow.
“It means Enzo already knows what he is fighting for, there is no doubt. He’s all in. When you get to that place, there is no reasoning. He isn’t asking my permission or acceptance because how I feel doesn’t make a lick of a difference to him. He knows who he loves and he doesn’t need to make sure I’m okay with that.”
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous.”
Leo nods. “Look, son, at the end of the day, only one of you boys is the father but if you love Chloe, what difference does that make?”
I push my lips forward, understanding him completely.
The only problem is, I am one of four and I have a feeling at least half of us sees this from a very different point of view.
Chapter 10
CHLOE
So, there we are, all sitting in a doctor’s office, and my hands are shaking. The elephant in the room is the size of a pea.
To say we are on edge is an understatement.
Mason and Enzo have been nothing but positive this week. I’m talking mint tea delivered in bed each morning–– my morning sickness cure–– and they hired a housecleaner to come every day to help with laundry and dishes so I don’t have to think about anything, which is so amazing but still, we’ve avoided really talking about the pregnancy. We agreed last week that we would wait until a doctor confirmed it before got to the nitty-gritty details of what this will mean.
Thankfully the guys are busy with work for most of the day, but they must be tense as heck out at sites too because foul moods enter the house every afternoon.
I canceled with Harlow a few days ago, feeling weird about going out with a stranger now that I was pregnant, and not sure how in the world I would choose just one guy to be my date.
She texted back right away saying no worries, but still, there was a pang of regret that I was missing out on getting to know another woman. The need to connect with other ladies right now is so raw and real, but how am I supposed to do that in this condition? But then she texted again, a day later, asking if I wanted to meet up on her next day off to grab coffee. I replied yes, thinking not having to decide on which guy to bring along might make things easier. I appreciated her effort and promised myself not to cancel a second time in a row.
When the doctor enters the room, and introduces herself as Dr. Brown, we all smile and tell her our names.
“It’s a big group for the first visit. Usually, it’s just the mother and a partner or family member. How are all of you connected?”
Dr. Brown smiles warmly, taking a seat as she is swiping her tablet screen, presumably pulling up my information. I already peed in a cup when I arrived at the office and assume she has the results.
The guys look at me and I take the lead. It is what I want to do. I spent some time doing intense therapy before leaving California, after Mason’s accident, and I no longer care what a random doctor thinks about my unconventional relationship. “They are my partners, all of them.” I fold my hands in my lap, shoulders straight, and meet her gaze. I may be nervous in a thousand and one ways right now, but none of it is because I am unsure of how I feel about the men with me today.
“Oh, uh, all of you are, um, right, of course.” She lifts her eyebrows and smiles wide. I’m sure she has had some sort of training on how to be politically
correct in a situation like that, and I’m glad she’s been taught to swallow whatever might be popping into her mind right now.
Still, what she says next surprises me. “That’s wonderful, that you have a built-in support system. You are going to need that over the next, well, forever.” She smiles warmly and I see Mason nodding in agreement.
Why do I always assume the worst of people? Like, automatically decide people are going to offend me or hurt me or let me down?
Then I remember a counseling session, how I had to be reminded over and over that my past trauma doesn’t define my future. That not everyone is out to hurt me just because I have been hurt in the past.
I take a deep breath. “I know it’s different. But it is ours. I’m really thankful I’m not in this alone.” I reach for Noah and Enzo’s hands, as they sit on either side of me, and squeeze them.
“When you say she’ll need a support system, is that because...” Enzo begins.
Dr. Brown nods. “Yes, congratulations, Chloe. You are very much pregnant.”
I pull my hands from the guys’ and cover my mouth in shock. Even though I knew this was true for a hundred reasons ... sore breasts, tired, nauseous, late on my cycle, I still wondered if maybe it was all a silly dream I concocted out of thin air.
But no. It is real.
I’m having a baby.
The guys are looking at me expectantly, and that is when I burst out into tears.
Goodness, what is with the freaking waterworks?
Dr. Brown hands me a tissue and asks if I’d like a minute alone with her.
The guys don’t wait for me to answer. They stand and head to the door. “Tell her whatever it is that’s on your mind,” Ethan says, pressing his hand to my cheek before he leaves the room.
“Guess they thought you needed a moment alone?”
I shrug. “I think they just know I am holding a lot back and want me to get it off my chest.”
“Do you want to be pregnant?” she asks me directly.
