by Anne Fraser
But do it all over again?
When Simon had walked out, she’d been almost too caught up with Charlie to bring herself to care. But it had been hard and there had been many, many long and lonely nights when she had longed to have someone hold her, comfort her. She and Simon had only moved to the sprawling London suburb a short while before Charlie’s birth and over the time she’d lost touch with the friends she’d once had. Without her mother and with her father in Canada there was no family member to help.
Should she tell Kendrick? At least talk it over with him. Didn’t he have the right to be involved in any decision she might make?
But what was the point? If she told him she was pregnant, he’d probably offer to support her, he was that kind of man, but he was also the kind of man who wouldn’t stick around. He’d made it clear that he didn’t see a wife and child in his future. Besides, if she decided not to continue with the pregnancy what was the point in telling him?
Her head was spinning.
How far on would she be? She calculated dates in her head. About five weeks. So there was time to think about what she wanted to do.
She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on her knees. She’d never felt so alone.
She allowed herself a few more minutes of self-pity then got to her feet and washed her face.
Hollow eyes stared back at her. Picking up her make-up bag, she applied lipstick, some blusher and mascara. Whatever was going on inside, she didn’t need the world to know.
Kendrick watched as Elizabeth walked onto the set. Something was wrong. He would bet his life on it. Although she was perfectly made up, her hair falling in a curtain of liquid gold around her shoulders and she took his breath away, there was a tiny pucker between her brows, a shadow in her eyes that concerned him.
As she came closer, he could see that her eyes were a little puffy. Had she been crying? His Elizabeth?
He felt an unexpected stab of fury. Had someone said something to her? If so, he’d personally grab them by the shirt collar and shake them until their teeth shook. But that didn’t ring true. Elizabeth wasn’t the kind of woman to let anyone rattle her. She was too collected for that. Which made the fact that she’d been crying even more worrying.
Had she had bad news from home? A friend in trouble, perhaps?
He jumped to his feet. Whatever it was, he’d get it out of her and then he’d be able to help. Surely there wasn’t anything wrong that couldn’t be fixed.
‘Lizzie, honey, what is it?’ He took one of her cold hands in his and rubbed it gently, wanting to get some warmth back into her. Was she ill?
She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. It was as if she had gone to some place he couldn’t reach. ‘I’m fine. A bit of a headache, that’s all. I’ve taken some painkillers, so I should be fine in a minute.’
She was lying. He was sure of it. But he’d come to know enough about this woman not to challenge her head-on. He’d get it out of her one way or another, but he’d have to leave his normally cack-handed methods and get there slowly. But get to the truth he would.
‘Are you okay to work? Do you want me to tell Philip that you can’t make it this evening? I’m sure he can get another doctor to fill in. This is LA after all. There’s bound to be a couple of thousand who’d leap at the chance to work on a film set.’
She frowned at him and tightened her mouth in the way he knew meant she was annoyed.
‘Kendrick, when will you realise that I’m perfectly capable of deciding whether I’m fit to work? I am not a child. I am not your responsibility.’ She said the last words with such venom he recoiled. What had brought that on? Elizabeth might be feisty, but she was never outright rude.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, and touched him on the shoulder. He had to force himself not to pull her into his arms and plead with her to tell him what was wrong. In her current frame of mind that would be exactly the wrong thing to do.
‘Remind me what we’re doing tonight.’
That too was unlike her. Normally Elizabeth insisted on getting the details of planned stunts in advance so she could be prepared for any eventuality. Although this part of the filming was taking place in a sectioned-off part of an LA freeway and there would be medical services close at hand should anything go wrong, she would still be the first person on the scene.
‘We’re doing a car chase. Josh will be crashing his car again. I’ll be driving the motorbike that is trying to force him off the road.’
‘Great,’ said Elizabeth. ‘Just what I need. You trying to get yourself killed.’
She looked so woebegone that this time he couldn’t stop himself. Uncaring that anyone could see them, he took her face between his hand, forcing her to look into his eyes. What he saw dismayed him even more. Her blue eyes were luminous with unshed tears. In that moment he knew. He was in love. Not just falling, he was deeply, irrevocably in love.
He was in a load of trouble.
‘What is it, Lizzie? Please tell me.’
The silence stretched between them and as her lips moved he thought she was going to tell him. But then she shook her head and pulled away.
‘You’d better get ready,’ she said. ‘Don’t you have to get suited up?’
He dropped his hands to his sides, knowing he’d get nothing more from her. Later, when the filming was over, he’d find her and make her tell him. As for being in love? Damn. He could only hope he’d get over it when she left. He had nothing to offer her apart from a nomadic existence moving from set to set. Even if they married. Where had that thought come from? He didn’t want to get married. He’d be useless at all that nine-to-five, slippers-and-newspaper routine. It would drive him crazy. And as for children, Elizabeth said she didn’t want any and he believed her. But what if she changed her mind? What then? He’d be even more trapped.
But he let his mind wander. Would it be so terrible to have kids? If it was a boy, he could teach him how to ride a horse, fly aeroplanes, ride a skateboard. He could even take him surfing. Not out to the big waves, naturally. At least, not until he was fourteen. And if it was a girl? He could teach her the same things.
He let the fantasy roll around his head for a moment. He could go back to the ranch. Take over from his father who wasn’t getting any younger. It could be a good life. A satisfying life. Elizabeth wouldn’t need to work, but if she insisted, well, there were always shortages of good doctors in the rural parts. Suddenly the idea of being a husband and father didn’t seem quite as outrageous as it once had.
He slid a glance at Elizabeth. She was chewing her lip in that cute way of hers that meant she was mulling something over. He could see her on the ranch, sitting on the rocking chair on the veranda, he sitting next to her as they talked about their day.
Kendrick forced his thoughts away from Elizabeth and his fantasies. Right now he had a big scene to do and it needed every bit of his concentration, but once filming was over for the night, he would talk to her. Find out what was bothering her and maybe even tell her he loved her.
The evening was warm as they stood around, waiting for the scene to be set up. Elizabeth tried to focus on what was happening around her instead of what was happening inside her. Every hour the cells of the baby would be dividing and multiplying as the baby developed inside her. She couldn’t think of it as a baby. She mustn’t think of it as a baby. Much, much better, if she had to think of it at all, was to remember it was only a cluster of cells. It wouldn’t even have a beating heart yet.
‘Okay,’ Kendrick was saying as his team of stuntmen and women huddled around him. ‘I think we’re all pretty clear on how this has to work. Josh, remember to duck below the dash just before you ram into the truck. I’ll be on the motorbike, next to you. We have to get the timing spot on. I don’t want you knocking into me and sending me flying across the road.’
‘Hey, boss, when have I ever bumped into you?’ Josh said good-naturedly. ‘You make sure your timing is spot on, and I’ll look after mine.’
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‘The rest of you who aren’t in this scene stand by to help Josh out of the car when it crashes. I don’t want to take any chances it’ll explode with him in it.’
Great. Just great. They were talking crashes and explosions and who knew what else they had planned. It would be a miracle if they all came out of this without a scratch. At least there was an ambulance with a couple of paramedics on standby as well as her. Elizabeth prayed none of the precautions she’d taken would be needed.
Over the last hour she had watched as Kendrick and Josh had set up some kind of track along the road barrier. Imogen had explained that they needed to do that in order to keep the car Josh would be driving sideways once it had been hit. It would then race along the barrier for a few hundred metres before landing back on four wheels. The rest of the crew had lined up old cars along the side of the road to act as a crash barrier on the other side.
What kind of people were these? Elizabeth wondered, not for the first time. Despite what Kendrick had told her, she couldn’t accept that they didn’t know that one false move could end in tragedy.
Imogen must have been thinking the same thing. Either that or she’d read Elizabeth’s mind.
‘We’re not reckless, you know. All the stuntmen I’ve ever known, apart from a couple, died either from natural causes or in accidents where they weren’t working.’
Was that meant to reassure her?
‘You’ll see. They do everything they can to make the stunt safe. And as far as I know, Kendrick hasn’t lost anyone on his watch.’
They watched in silence for a little longer. ‘Of course, Kendrick does like taking risks. That’s why he left the army.’
Did everyone know more about Kendrick than she did?
Imogen smiled. ‘I’m sure if Kendrick had wanted to stay, his father would have found a way to keep him.’
Elizabeth stayed silent, hoping Imogen would carry on musing if she wasn’t interrupted.
‘But I guess even the colonel couldn’t get Kendrick out of trouble when it came to endangering his crew and practically writing off a multi-million-dollar helicopter. Personally I can’t see what else Kendrick could have done, but I guess I’m not in the army so what do I know? All I do know is that if I were in trouble, it’s Kendrick I would want to get me out of it.’
Endangering his crew? Writing off a helicopter? This was more than Susan had told her.
The more she learned about Kendrick, the more confused she became. Did she know him at all? She placed a hand over her stomach, feeling the familiar, but unwelcome, protective urge.
Josh brought Elizabeth a cup of coffee and she smiled her thanks.
‘Are you sure he knows what he’s doing?’ she asked anxiously.
‘Who? Kendrick? I trust him with my life,’ Josh said simply. ‘I’ve worked on other sets and, believe me, ones where Kendrick is the co-ordinator are the safest by far.’
‘And you believe this. Even knowing why he had to leave the army?’
Josh slid her a look. ‘Hey, Doc, I don’t know who’s been talking to you, but Kendrick only did what he had to. If I had the guts I would have done the same in his place. His girl was hit, he needed to get her out of there and he was the only one who could do it.’
‘His mother told me about his girlfriend.’
Josh took a swig of coffee and studied his drink pensively. ‘I doubt she knows the whole story. The horror of what he must have gone through. I’m only telling you what I’ve learned over the years. Kendrick doesn’t talk much.’ He flashed Elizabeth a smile. ‘I guess you know that by now. Anyways, he was flying one of those helicopters. You might have seen them in the movies? The ones that offer support to the men on the ground?’
Elizabeth nodded.
‘The way I heard it, some soldiers were involved in an unexpected ambush,’ Josh continued. ‘They radioed for help and Kendrick was one of them who was sent. He knew his girl was part of the platoon, but he didn’t know she was dead already. It eats him up that he couldn’t save her. There were a couple of soldiers who were still alive and he got them out of there while under heavy fire himself. Folk still talk about it. Trouble was, the big brass didn’t see it that way. As the pilot, Kendrick wasn’t supposed to leave his chopper in the hands of his gunner. The brass said any of the enemy might have got it. As it was, it took a few bullets as they were taking off. Made a mess of their expensive machine. They didn’t seem to care too much about the two soldiers who almost certainly wouldn’t have made it out of there alive if it hadn’t been for Kendrick. I guess they didn’t know whether to give him a medal or court-martial him. As it happened, his father tried to intervene. Argued that Kendrick should stay in the army but in a desk job away from the action. But Kendrick was having none of it. Said if he couldn’t fly, he wasn’t staying. So here he is. This way he gets to fly sometimes. I heard he and his father haven’t spoken much since.’
Elizabeth was stunned. No wonder there was tension between Kendrick and his father. But his father was wrong. He should be proud of his son. Just as any child would be proud to have a father like Kendrick.
In that moment she knew. She would never terminate the pregnancy. This child would be loved, however he or she turned out.
A burst of happiness lit her up inside. She had made her decision and it was the right one.
But should she tell Kendrick? Everything she knew about him told her that he would never leave her to have the child on her own. She didn’t want him to stay around out of a sense of duty. Eventually the burden of responsibility would change him, he’d feel trapped and want to leave but wouldn’t. She couldn’t bear to do that to him or her child.
She loved Kendrick. She would always love him. But she’d coped on her own before and she would again.
She looked over to the man who had her heart and always would, and her insides churned at the thought of leaving him. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She’d make the most of any time they had left together. At least now she knew she had the strength to face the future, whatever it brought.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE last day of filming came round all too soon. Philip had brought in caterers for the wrap party and there was a real carnival atmosphere. Kendrick watched Elizabeth as she spoke to some of the crew, her head tilted back, laughing. She looked more beautiful than he’d ever seen her. The sadness he’d seen a few days earlier had disappeared. He’d tried to ask her about it but she’d brushed his questions away with a smile. There was a glow about her, as if she was beginning to live again. And he wanted to be part of that life. It was no use. He knew it now. He was in love with Elizabeth Morgan. Completely in love. He hadn’t recognised it before because he hadn’t wanted to.
It was too late to fight it. He couldn’t let her leave. He couldn’t imagine life without her. He wanted her to be with him for the rest of their lives. He wanted to grow old with her. For her to have his babies—the whole shooting match.
With the acknowledgement something inside him quietened down and for the first time in his adult life he felt at peace with himself. He would have to bite the bullet and ask her to marry him.
But not here. In Brazil. After Fabio and his wife-to-be tied the knot. On the beach somewhere. That was how the romantic movies did it, so it must be right. He didn’t have a clue. It wasn’t as if he’d ever proposed before. He would buy a ring, wait until he had her alone and go down on one knee. She would have to accept him then. A knot of anxiety tugged away at his gut. What if she said no? She’d been pretty adamant she didn’t want to get married again. He dismissed the thought.
He was sure she loved him.
‘Will you come with me to my cousin’s wedding?’ he asked as soon as he found the opportunity to get her on her own. She looked at him with those steady blue eyes. ‘In Brazil?’
‘Why not? You’re not rushing back to the UK, are you?’ She shook her head and he saw a shadow cross her face. No doubt she was remembering the last time she’d been ther
e. If—no, when—she married him, he would spend the rest of his life making good memories for her.
She hesitated and the earlier knot of anxiety returned. What if he’d got it all wrong? No. It was impossible. He knew women.
‘I suppose,’ she said reluctantly. That wasn’t exactly the response he was looking for, but it would have to do. Perhaps she was wondering what the point of dragging out their relationship was? For a second he was tempted to ask her right there and then, but he controlled the impulse. He wanted it to be perfect.
As Elizabeth stepped off the plane a fragrant breeze tickled her nostrils. They had flown to Brazil, then a smaller plane hired especially for the wedding guests had taken them out to the nearby island of Florianópolis.
The runway was only a short distance from the beach and Elizabeth saw palm trees and sand the colour of coconut milk. Whatever she’d expected, it hadn’t been this.
A tall, lean man with olive skin and dark hair stepped forward and slapped Kendrick on the back.
‘Hey, Kendrick. I’m glad you could make it.’
‘I wouldn’t have missed my little cousin getting married for anything.’ Kendrick grinned back.
Not that the man in front of her was little. Although Kendrick topped him by a good two inches, Fabio had to be six feet at least. He was good-looking, almost beautiful, but Elizabeth preferred Kendrick’s ruggedness.
Green eyes turned to Elizabeth and an eyebrow was lifted in question.
‘This is Dr Elizabeth Morgan,’ Kendrick introduced her. ‘Just don’t call her Lizzie. She might take a chunk out of you.’
‘I’m delighted you could come. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay,’ Fabio said with a quick glance at Kendrick.
‘I’m sure I will.’
‘So where’s the bride?’ Kendrick asked. ‘Have I met her?’ He narrowed his eyes at his cousin. ‘Wait a minute. Don’t tell me. I’m betting it’s that cutie you were with at the film première.’
Fabio broke into a wide grin. ‘And you’d be right. She’s up at my mother’s right now, going over final arrangements.’
