“Come on, Lucia, this is the perfect time for a new start.”
“But I would feel like a complete failure if I just walked away.”
“You’re not a failure, you’re just re-evaluating your goals. You’re not a failure unless you give up, and this won’t be giving up. You’ll be taking a new direction instead,” Cara announced, reaching across the table to touch my arm. “Please, don’t let one guy dictate the rest of your life. That goes for your father, too. If you want to stay at the stadium, then I will support you one hundred percent, but I worry that if you do, you’ll be stuck in a toxic environment with nothing but failure in sight.”
“Me too,” I sighed, looking at the little black book as my stomach twisted nervously, nausea rising in my throat. I forced it down and took a sip of my water.
“Well, just think about it, but I think you are doing the right thing cutting this guy out of your life,” Cara decided. “He’s not worth your time or your effort. And I am so sorry that I even gave you any advice on him to start with.”
I wanted to tell her that Jacob wasn’t such a bad guy, but the words would not form on my tongue. Maybe I was deluding myself. I had hoped that he was one of the good ones, the gem amongst the rocks, but I had been dead wrong. The nausea came back and I excused myself, rushing to the bathroom just in time to upchuck every morsel I had just eaten. Great. Now I was getting sick on top of everything else.
When I got back to the table, Cara was looking at me suspiciously. “Are you okay?” she asked. I nodded and grabbed my check, wanting to just go home and rest before the weekend was over. I was literally drained from everything that had happened. “Yeah I’m fine, just tired. Think I’m coming down with a bug, though.”
“Okay, maybe we should get you some soup and fluids before I take you back home? Knowing you, you probably haven’t shopped for weeks,” Cara replied as she grabbed her check as well. We exited the booth and walked up to the register to pay. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, are you using a new moisturizer or bronzer? It looks really good—you’ve got a nice glow.”
I gave her a wan smile, my heart pounding in my ears. I wasn’t using anything new. A fleeting thought crossed my mind, and I dismissed it immediately. No, that couldn’t be the case; me coming down with the flu and being sick combined with a facial glow didn’t warrant that train of thought. Besides, I was on the pill, and we’d used protection… hadn’t we?
21
Jacob
“Maddox. Coach wants you in his office pronto.”
I threw the shirt over my head and nodded at the assistant coach, fear welling up inside. It had been days since the fight with my father and the blow-up with Lucia. She wasn’t returning any of my calls, and I’d already filled up her voicemail to the point where it wouldn’t take any more. Every time I walked by her office, trying to act casual, the door was shut. I’d been too worried that she had a patient in there and hadn’t knocked. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen her, though. She had been on the sidelines during one of the practices with her father, talking and laughing like all was good in her world while I was in what seemed to be a state of limbo. Would she tell her father? She had evidence that could get me fired, and I wouldn’t hold her against her if she went to him with the playbook and got us all thrown off the team.
And now the coach wanted to see me in his office. That was not a good sign.
I walked as slowly as I possibly could, almost dragging my feet as I went. I entered the large space that housed all the coaches’ offices and passed a collection of desks, a bullpen of sorts with stacks of binders—no doubt filled with tactics and plays—piled up on every surface. I finally stood before the head coach’s private office. I knocked on the glass panel of the closed door, and two men raised their heads. I felt like the floor was about to cave in underneath me as I saw David Cortes, the owner and Lucia’s dad, seated at the desk beside Coach. Both their expressions were unreadable, blank as my paycheck would be after the meeting, I was sure of it.
I braced myself and entered the room as Coach gestured me in. What had Lucia told her father? Had she turned in the playbook? Were my dreams of becoming a starting quarterback again going to end right here? Damn Terrence and the rest of the guys.
“Jacob, sit down,” the coach said, pointing to the other chair in the room. I swallowed hard as I sat. Tiny beads of sweat prickled to the surface of my brow. I was about to lose everything—my career and the only woman that had truly given a damn about me.
“I’m sorry,” I started, trying to head them off. Maybe if I could tell my side of things, they would reconsider firing my ass. “I can explain everything, I swear.”
The coach looked at Mr. Cortes and then back at me. “What the hell are you talking about, son? Did you do something to Danny?”
“Danny?” I repeated, surprised. I had just seen Danny, our starting QB, only yesterday and his throws were as hot as ever. “What’s wrong with Danny?”
“It’s his shoulder. He tweaked his rotator cuff last night while lifting,” Coach explained.
“Left or right?” I asked, the seriousness of the situation dawning on me.
“Right.”
Fuck, that’s his throwing arm.
“We’re looking at four to six weeks recovery time if we’re lucky,” Coach continued. “He’s getting checked out right now, and they don’t think he’s torn anything, but if he did, well, who knows? It could be eight weeks or more before he’s tip-top again. And you’re probably guessing why you’re here now. We need you to step up to the plate, Jacob.”
Suddenly, the room got extremely small as I realized this was my big break, a chance to regain some of my former glory. This was what I had been hoping to have happen, not that I wanted Danny to get hurt, that is. He was a cool guy with three kids at home, so he needed to work. But a minimum of four weeks on the field would give me enough time to show them what I had.
“This is very serious, Jacob,” Mr. Cortes interjected. His features were hard to read, but his tone was stern—no nonsense. “I will not tolerate anything but stellar performances from my starters. One wrong move and you will be gone, you hear me? I don’t care how much I spent on you.”
“Y-yes, sir,” I replied, wondering if he was actually referring to football, or something or someone else. “I will give you the best I got, that I can promise.”
“See, Cortes, I told you he was ready.” Coach grinned, giving me a nod. “I’ll get Thomas to switch to Jacob, and I will work with him personally, too, get him up to speed. He’ll catch on quick.” Thomas was the quarterback coach, and we’d gotten along well since my arrival, but his time had always been primarily focused on Danny—as it should be, of course—but it was going to be good to get some proper attention from him.
“I won’t let either of you down,” I added as the owner rose from his chair.
“I need you focused, Jacob,” Coach continued as Mr. Cortes stood by the door, his arms crossed over his chest. “You seem a little preoccupied lately. Can you shake that off? Anything we can help with?”
“No, there’s no problem. Consider my head in the game,” I answered. My now practically non-existent relationship with Lucia would need to take a back burner, even though I knew deep down I hadn’t given up. It would just have to wait. Maybe it would be for the best anyway—give us both some time to cool off. After all, this was my career, my livelihood, and if I screwed this opportunity up, there certainly wouldn’t be another one any time soon.
“One more thing,” Coach said. “There’s some guy calling the stadium, the offices, every number he can get a hold of, it seems, claiming he’s your father and wanting his family ticket discount. I looked up his name and he’s not on your list.”
My jaw clenched. He was starting this shit again? I could see it now. It would be another repeat performance of his insane actions up in Minnesota. Fuck, it would just be like when I was a kid on my high school football team… I was going to kill the man. Why couldn’t he just l
eave me alone and get on with his own life?
“Marshall Maddox is nothing to me,” I replied evenly. “Don’t give him anything.”
“All right, I’ll make a note of it,” Coach said. Mr. Cortes eyed me carefully. He seemed to be attempting to read my mind; another moment passed without him saying anything.
“So, shall I go—”
“Jacob, if we need to get you some extra security for you, we can make that happen,” Mr. Cortes interrupted. “Just let me, Greg here, or one of the security staff know, and we’ll get it all set up. You shouldn’t have to worry about these things.”
I nodded, thinking it was pretty cool of him to offer. “Thanks. I’ll let you know if it comes to that.”
“Before I forget, this conversation is between us right now, Jacob,” Coach added as I stood to go. “We’ll make a formal announcement to the press about Danny’s injury and you taking the number one spot before the game, but I don’t want the press catching wind that you are the starter before then, okay?”
“Again, not a problem. My lips are sealed until you give the word,” I replied, anxious and ready to prove myself. My day had just taken a turn for the better, and though the problems with Lucia were still heavy on my mind, this was good. I think she would be proud to know that I was going to get my chance.
“Good. See you on the field,” he said, turning back to his paperwork. I walked past Lucia’s father and out into the corridor, my mind already reeling through all the things I needed to work on and to prepare to fully take advantage of the opportunity.
“Jacob, a moment.”
I turned and saw Mr. Cortes striding toward me, his stone-cold expression giving me pause. He sidled up to me and took my arm in a firm grip. “Stay the hell away from my daughter,” he said, his voice low. It felt like a bucket of ice had been dropped on me.
“She told you?” I stammered. Why on earth would she do such a thing? Surely it would be bad for her, too?
His eyes blazed with a look of triumph and fury. “Does it really matter who told me?”
“No, I guess not. Oh, fuck,” I muttered under my breath, but Mr. Cortes still heard it.
“Yeah, boy, you fucked up. I don’t know what you did to her, but if I catch you near her again I will can you without question. You’ll never play football again. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I replied, swallowing hard. Why on earth did she have to go tell him? No one else except Terrence knew, and he wasn’t about to snitch on us; it was in his own best interest not to.
My arm throbbed as he released me. There would be some pretty hefty indentations from where his grip had been, I thought. He nodded, satisfied that he’d put the fear of God into me and resumed walking down the corridor to the field, leaving me standing there with my thumb up my ass.
22
Lucia
No.
Fuck, no.
I looked at the test again. My head became light and woozy as I sat on the toilet seat. My stomach rolled uncomfortably. After spending nearly three days and nights in bed feeling like I had been hit by a truck, I’d woken up that morning throwing up again. But that wasn’t all; my breasts felt heavy and full. Though I was in complete denial of the fact that pregnancy could be a possibility—it just had to be the flu or some kind of virus, it had to be—I dragged myself to the local drugstore. I managed to avoid both Merry and my father on my little quest.
To make sure, I’d bought seven different types of tests. Now I had six of them all lined up on the bathroom counter, all telling me the same exact thing. I was pregnant. And it was Jacob’s baby. Shit.
After placing the last test in line on the counter with the rest, I put my head in my hands. How could I have screwed up this badly? My period was slightly irregular, but I always remembered to take my pill to help with the irregularity. I never would have expected this to happen.
I remembered we’d used condoms once we’d started our marathon sex session inside the house, but that first time, in the pool, when I’d practically dangled myself in front of him, we’d used nothing. What had I been thinking? It was totally and completely out of character for me to be so irresponsible, to throw that much caution to the wind and gamble with my future. Well I had lost, big time. What was I going to do? There was no doubt in my mind that I was pregnant now. Hell, I had half a drug store on my counter saying as much!
Lifting my head, I moved just in time to throw up yet again. I retched; there was nothing at all left in my stomach to throw up.
My dad was going to kill me. Merry would be supportive of course, and so would Cara, but raising a child? Was I ready for that? I didn’t have much experience with children and didn’t really know the first thing about taking care of a baby. My life was in shambles—living in my parent’s guest house, for fuck’s sake—but in about eight short months I would be responsible for another living, breathing, and helpless human? I wasn’t ready. Of course it wasn’t the only option… there were alternative solutions, but touching upon each of them in my mind, I didn’t think I could live with going through with any of them.
Touching my still flat stomach, I wondered what the baby would look like or how he or she would feel about me. What would Jacob say? Did I even want to tell him? He had a right to know, no matter what he’d done to me, I debated with myself.
Dropping my hand, I knew I had to tell him, given his past with his own father or the little bit I knew about it, anyway. It wouldn’t be right to keep it to myself and deny him a chance of being a father. But could I let him back into my life after what he’d done? The thought of raising a child with someone who wasn’t a partner left me feeling hollow. That was not how I’d envisaged it going. We might raise a child together, but the hurt of how it had happened still burned a hole in my chest. With a sigh, I eased myself up and walked out of the bathroom to my closet to get ready for work. I’d taken too much time off. Any more and it would become suspicious.
I rose out of my seat carefully as the knock became insistent on my office door. I wondered who on earth was trying to beat it down. Every day I closeted myself in the space, no longer leaving the door open or ajar. I didn’t want to run the risk of having Jacob barge in here and demand I listen to whatever excuse he was going to rattle off. But after three knocks, I felt like I should answer it. It might not be him but someone who really needed some help, and I couldn’t pretend not to be in.
Opening the door, I took one look at his face and shut it again, locking it for good measure. “Go away.”
“What the hell did you tell your father, Lucia?” he asked, his voice muffled through the wood. Tell my father? I hadn’t told him anything about Jacob and our undefinable relationship. And I surely had not said one word about the baby growing inside me. He would have a fit if that little tidbit was just blurted out, but I knew I couldn't hide it forever. I’d have Merry there with me when I finally had to break the news, though.
“He’s riding my ass, telling me to stay away from you,” he continued. “Hell, Lucia, he’s going to make my life miserable.”
“So what do you want me to do about it?”
“I dunno,” he said, exasperated. “Open the door—we really need to talk, unless you want everyone to hear our business. I’m so sorry, truly I am. You believed me once before, believe me now when I say that book you found, it doesn’t mean anything. It only led me to you. My feelings are real, Lucia.”
I leaned my forehead against the cool wood and willed myself to stay strong. I could not allow myself to fall back on my word now. Plus, today was not a good day to tell Jacob about the possibility of a baby. I still needed to get a doctor to confirm that it was real and had made an early appointment the next day. “Just go away, Jacob, please,” I pleaded, feeling the nausea roll in my stomach.
“Eugh! But why tell your father? I can’t believe you would do such a thing,” he continued, as if I hadn’t even spoken. I hadn’t done anything—I was too wrapped up in the newest issue in my life to even think about
telling my father about our sexcapades. He was going to totally ignore that fact anyway when he found out about the baby. No, I had bigger issues than Jacob’s insecurities about his job. He should have thought about that before he cracked open that stupid book.
“It doesn’t matter now anyway. It’s not like you didn’t deserve a reaming,” I shot back, hurt in my voice. “Clearly I was just a conquest for you and your stupid black book. So why don’t you just leave me alone?”
“Oh, come on, Lucia,” he answered roughly. “You never let me explain that. What we have, it’s more than that.”
I couldn’t help but choke back laughter, thinking that he was right on that account. What we had could’ve been so much more if he hadn’t turned into a huge jerk-face. Jacob jiggled the door handle, and I paused, another wave of nausea nearly overpowering me. I gagged as I ran to my trash can, upchucking the few crackers I’d eaten this morning.
“Lucia?” Jacob asked. “Shit. Are you okay?”
“Go away,” I forced out, wiping my mouth with a tissue I grabbed from the box on my desk. If this was real and I was pregnant, I didn’t want anything to do with it; the nausea was almost constant now, and I felt miserable. I probably looked miserable, too, and all I wanted was to be left alone. The door jiggled harder, and I froze, prying my fingers away from the edge of the trash can. I couldn’t let him in. Reaching over, I picked up my office phone and speed-dialed security.
“Security. How may we assist you?”
“Um, yes, I think someone has just hit a car in the parking lot,” I said in an almost whisper so Jacob wouldn’t overhear me. “I think it’s Jacob Maddox’ car. You might want to call him and tell him. They’re driving off. Oh my God, he’s going to be so pissed!” I hung up immediately as the guard started to ask more questions. It wasn’t long before I heard Jacob’s phone ring on the other side of the door.
The Playbook Page 14
