Addison’s face changed to surprised. Her eyes widened, and she clapped her hands together. “Oh my God. You’re falling for her, and you didn’t even sleep with her yet.”
“Don’t you have any work to do? I looked at the new client roster. Your team isn’t exactly pulling in big numbers this quarter. Maybe you should spend some time riding them and get off my ass.”
Her answer was a giant, ear-to-ear smile. “I’m so happy for you, Hollis.”
I shook my head. “Be happy somewhere else. I have actual work to do.”
“It’s been a long time since Anna. You deserve some good in your life.”
Normally, any mention of my ex left a sour taste in my mouth. But this morning, I was too busy savoring the taste of Elodie to let anything else seep in. If I closed my eyes and breathed deep, I could still smell her on my face. I inwardly laughed at what Addison would’ve said if I’d suddenly done that—closed my eyes, took a deep whiff, and flaunted a satiated smile.
I looked over at my business partner. She wasn’t going to get the hell out of my office unless I gave her something. So I tossed the pen in my hand on the desk and gave in a little.
“It’s not going to end well.”
Her brows drew down. “Why do you say that?”
“Hailey is already pretty attached to her. When things go south, she’s going to suffer.”
Addison’s eyes roamed my face, and then she shook her head. “There’s just so much wrong with that last statement that I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Stop psychoanalyzing everything. Not everything someone says has a deeper meaning. I have a legitimate concern when it comes to Hailey. She’s a kid, and someone has to protect her. God knows her fuckwad of a father left her swinging in the wind.”
“Hollis, it’s not your concern about Hailey getting hurt that’s odd. What did you just say to me? Think about it.”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. But I’m guessing you’re about to enlighten me.”
“You said, when things go south, Hailey’s going to suffer.”
“So?”
“What does when things go south look like to you?”
Did she really need it spelled out for her? I thought it was pretty damn clear. “Hailey’s not attached to many people. When Elodie leaves, she’s going to be hurt. What part of this is so hard for you to understand?”
Addison frowned. “The part that you’re so certain she’s leaving. Not every woman is going to abandon you. But if you go into this relationship with the ending to the story already written, everything you do will be leading you in that direction.”
***
I knew she was staying because I hadn’t left yet. That was typical Addison. Normally, it would be a business issue I was struggling with—a client asking me to do something I wasn’t sure about, or something going on with an employee that didn’t sit right with me. We’d air things out in the morning, generally disagree, and then hours later, on my way out for the night, I’d stop at her office and together we’d find a middle ground on how to handle things.
Only today it wasn’t about business.
I took the seat across from her, on the other side of her desk, and leaned back into the chair. “So how do I change it?”
Addison slipped her glasses from her face and tossed them on top of a stack of papers. “You allow yourself to give things a real chance.”
“And how the hell do I do that?”
“Well, you have to start by changing your outlook. It’s not going to happen overnight. But you need to believe that happiness is a possibility for you. Start small. Think of something you’re thankful for and express it in some way. It doesn’t have to be grandiose. Just accept things you’re thankful for and acknowledge them as positive instead of waiting for them to turn negative.”
“Okay.”
“Also, use positive words. Instead of saying this is a disaster, say we’ll work it out. And make plans in your personal life that are more than a few days in the future—maybe a trip next month with Elodie, or even tickets to a play in the fall with Hailey. It’ll show them you’re thinking long term.”
I sighed. “Okay. I can do that.”
“It’s going to take time, Hollis. Just take small steps and try not to worry about the ending. Instead, enjoy the journey.”
I arched a brow. “When did you become the freaking Dalai Lama?”
Addison smiled. “Right after my second divorce, when I decided it was time for me to actually be happy.”
Chapter 31
* * *
Elodie
I’d been anxious all day.
Anxious to see Hollis, since the last time I’d seen him he’d had his head between my legs.
Anxious about whether he’d come home with a change of heart about us.
Anxious because he hadn’t texted me more than a few words all day.
So when I heard the key jingling in the lock of the front door, I jumped a little.
“Hey.” I stood in the living room, feeling unusually awkward.
Hollis walked toward me, his eyes roaming my body with each step. The air began to crackle as he glanced around the living room. “Where’s Hailey?”
“Shower. She just went in. We painted today, so she might be a while. Her hands got as much color as the canvas.”
Hollis hooked one large arm around my waist and pulled me flush against him. His neck bent, and he brushed his lips over mine. “Good. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this mouth all day.”
All the anxiousness rushed out of me in one giant sigh. I wrapped my hands around his neck. “I’ve been thinking about your mouth, too. Mostly how talented it is.”
He arched a brow. “Is that so?”
I nodded with a goofy grin. “I’m glad we amended the rules.”
“Me, too.” His eyes swept over my face. “I got us tickets to an art show I thought you might like. A client of mine owns a gallery.”
“Oh, wow. That’s nice. When is it?”
Hollis brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “Labor Day weekend.”
Warmth spread through my chest. “Okay. Thank you. That sounds great. I have some plans for us, too.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded. “I spoke to Lindsey Branson today, Megan’s mother. Megan’s coming over tomorrow to hang out with Hailey.”
“That’s good.”
“And apparently the Bransons have a boat and are going to Block Island next weekend. They invited Hailey to go with them—for the entire weekend.”
Hollis’s eyes darkened. “I like your plans better than mine. Actually, I have only one problem.”
“What’s that?”
Hollis leaned into me. “I have to wait until next weekend to be inside you.” He started to kiss my neck and gave me goose bumps.
“I could feel your mouth between my legs all day today. You’re so good at that.”
“And I could taste you all day.” He whispered, “I need more, Elodie…in the worst fucking way.”
My back was up against the counter as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He sucked on my tongue the same way he’d worked my clit this morning. The muscles between my legs clenched. I could feel how hard he was through his trousers.
“I want you,” I panted.
“I’m losing my mind,” he groaned.
I could feel his erection growing as he rested his mouth on my neck. “You tasted so much better than I ever imagined. I can’t wait to fuck you.”
Gripping his hair, I pulled him closer and pushed my tongue into his mouth.
My eyes moved to the side.
Hailey.
Oh my God.
Oh no!
We’d gotten so carried away that we hadn’t noticed Hailey standing in her towel, watching us from the hallway.
Hollis was oblivious, his face buried in my neck, when I pushed him off of me.
“Hailey...” I said, my heart beating out of my chest.
Hollis
froze. Either it was the shortest shower ever, or we’d gotten lost in each other.
Hailey looked just as stunned as we were.
No one said anything. This was one of the most awkward moments of my life.
To make matters worse, Hailey wasn’t amused. In fact, she seemed very uncomfortable.
“I’m...just gonna go to my room,” she finally said before disappearing down the hall.
We stood stunned, watching her walk away.
When she was out of sight, Hollis buried his face in his hands. “Fuck.”
I panicked a little. “Should I go talk to her?”
“We both need to talk to her.”
“I can’t believe this.”
We waited a bit, assuming she was getting dressed. She never came out. It became clear that she was intentionally staying in her room. I was at a loss. Considering she’d always been pushing for something to happen between Hollis and me, I wouldn’t have expected her to be so upset about having caught us.
“I think we’d better make the first move here,” I told him.
“Okay, but before we go in there, let’s talk about how to approach this.”
“There’s no time. I think we have to wing it. Just answer her questions honestly,” I said.
Hollis nodded and followed me down the hall to Hailey’s room.
A lump formed in my throat as I knocked. “Hey, can we come in?”
After a few seconds, she said, “Yeah.”
I’d never seen Hollis look so uncomfortable. His body was stiff as a board as he sat down on the edge of her bed.
I took a seat on the pink shag carpet and crossed my legs. “Are you upset?”
She wouldn’t look at us. “I’m not upset. It was just weird to see you like that—not because I don’t like you guys together. But because…you didn’t tell me.”
I blew out a relieved breath. So this was about her being kept in the dark?
“It feels like you’re hiding it from me or something,” she said.
Hollis shut his eyes. “I’m sorry, Hailey. This is my fault. I handled it all wrong.”
“We both did,” I was quick to add.
Hollis took the lead. “We didn’t want to say anything to you, because we don’t want you to be hurt if it doesn’t work out between us. It’s all very…new.”
“It doesn’t look new.”
She had a point. Hollis had practically been mauling me. We looked very comfortable with each other.
Hollis’s face turned uncharacteristically red as he said, “Elodie and I really…enjoy each other’s company.”
“You think?” she taunted.
Now I felt flushed. “But our priority is you.”
She turned to me. “I like you guys together. I just don’t want you to hide things from me.”
Nodding, I said, “I get it.”
“But what if it doesn’t work out?” she asked.
“What happens between Elodie and me has nothing to do with your relationship with Elodie. Or my relationship with you, for that matter.”
She crossed her arms. “So, if something happens, Elodie is still going to come here every day?”
He blew out a breath. “I can’t speak for Elodie, but I would never keep you from someone you cared about.”
“But you won’t even talk about Anna when I ask you. I didn’t know who she was. Dad had to tell me. I was curious because of Huey saying her name. If you won’t talk about Anna, how do I know the same thing won’t happen with Elodie?”
Seemingly at a loss for words, he shut his eyes.
When he didn’t respond, I spoke up. “Life is about risks, Hailey. No one can say exactly what’s going to happen with anything. All we can do is try as best we can not to hurt each other. We don’t want to hurt each other…or you.”
“Were you gonna tell me?”
“Of course,” I said.
“I’ve always wanted you guys together, but it was weird to find out that way.”
“And that was my fault,” Hollis said. “No more secrets, okay?”
Hailey looked to me, then to Hollis. “Okay.”
“I’ll see you in ten minutes for dinner, kiddo,” Hollis said as he got up and exited the room.
I gave her a hug on my way out. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Hollis and I walked together to the door.
He spoke low. “What a clusterfuck.”
“She’s way more perceptive about you than I ever imagined.”
“The connection she made about Anna…” he said. “It caught me off guard. But she’s right. If I couldn’t talk about that situation, what’s to make her believe I could handle seeing you every day if things went south between us? We need to make sure we’re not kidding ourselves here, Elodie.”
This situation was the perfect excuse for Hollis to doubt us again.
My guard went straight up. “And how exactly do we not kid ourselves, Hollis?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe we need to slow down a bit.”
Are we seriously back at this place?
“Is this about Hailey or about you? I honestly don’t know.”
His jaw ticked, but he didn’t respond.
I lowered my voice. “You want to fuck me. You’ve made that very clear. But I think you’re still not sure if you’re ready for more. Wanting to be ready and actually being ready are two different things. You’re always looking for an excuse to back away.” I turned toward the door. “I have to go.”
I opened it and addressed him one last time. “This is never going to be risk-free, Hollis. There’s always going to be a chance I could hurt you or you could hurt me. We have to decide if being with each other is worth the risk.”
He said nothing as I walked away.
***
I headed straight to Bree’s house when I got back to Connecticut. I hoped she was in the mood to talk.
She looked even more gaunt than the last time I’d seen her.
“Have you eaten today?”
She straightened in her chair. “Yeah. Mariah brought me some taco pie. I had a little.”
“How long ago was that?”
“This afternoon.”
“Can I make you something?”
“No.” She coughed, covering her mouth with her hand. “Tell me what happened tonight. You seem upset.”
“Hailey caught Hollis and me making out in the kitchen.”
“Shit. Okay.”
“We had to have a talk with her and explain everything. She was a little weirded out, and that surprised me.”
Bree sighed. “Well, as she gets more attached to you, I suppose the fear of losing you is more pronounced.”
“Did I tell you I finally got Hollis to open up to me a little about his past relationship?”
Bree shook her head no and downed her water.
“This girl—her name was Anna. She was his long-time girlfriend. Anyway, she broke his heart, out of left field. He hadn’t seen it coming. He’s been reluctant to get involved with anyone since. She’s the reason his bird, Huey, says nothing but ‘Anna’s home.’”
She wiped her mouth with her sleeve. “Wow.”
“Anyway, Hailey alluded to the Anna thing. She’s more aware than we thought that her uncle has trust issues, and I think she’s just as scared as I am that things won’t work out.”
“She sounds like a smart girl.”
“Well, now that she knows, it’s a wake-up call that I really do stand to get hurt here. We’ve gotten caught up in our sexual attraction, but if he has trust issues—and let’s face it, so do I—is it smart for me to sleep with him and get even more attached? Not to mention, he immediately started acting weird again toward me after she found out.”
Bree fell into another coughing fit.
“Let me get you some more water.”
I ran to the fridge and filled her glass before handing it to her.
She drank some, and then looked up at me.
“Listen, Elodie. I want you to
hear me out, okay?”
I sat down on the ottoman across from her. “Alright…”
“I would give anything to have the dilemma you’re experiencing. You’re asking yourself if you should take a chance on the possibility of love. I don’t have the opportunity to take such a chance. I’m not saying this to make you feel sorry for me, just to give you a different perspective—your problem is a good one to have. There’s only so much thinking you can do about something before you’ve totally wasted your life away. Just do what feels good and stop overthinking everything, for the love of God.”
I’m such an idiot. All I do is come here and complain to Bree about problems that are solvable. Meanwhile, she’s suffering from an incurable disease.
Idiot.
Idiot.
Idiot.
“I promise to try to heed your advice. Thank you as always for listening.” I knelt next to her. “Please tell me what I can do for you, Bree.”
“Actually, there is something…”
“Anything.”
“I was wondering if you’ll be around this weekend.”
This weekend.
I was supposed to spend it with Hollis. In any case, my friend came first.
“Of course I can be around. What’s up?”
“Well, I’m not sure how things are going to go for me in the next few months. I’ve been talking to my father about going to the lake house in Salisbury. I’d really like the whole family to be there. Unfortunately, that means Tobias.” She laughed a little. “Do you think you’d be able to come up with us?”
“Of course. Absolutely.”
“Great. We can all drive up together in my Expedition. Lord knows it needs to be driven before it disintegrates into the ground from lack of use.”
I tried to lift her spirits. “We’ll have the best time. We can hit a couple of the antique stores while we’re there.”
“Basically, we’ll just avoid Tobias together.” She laughed.
I smiled, even though I felt like I was crying inside. “Exactly.”
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