by Lisa Harris
She hesitated a moment, then nodded. “I’d like that. I’m not sure I could sleep right now either.”
“Great. Do you want to take your car, or do you want me to drive?”
“I’ll follow you, so I can drive from there to my parents’.”
By the time they got to the restaurant, the rain had almost stopped. A waitress led them to a booth near a crackling fire, and Garrett tried to ignore the familiar sense of being out with her.
She rubbed her hands together. “I didn’t think I was hungry, but looking at this menu, I’m suddenly starved.”
A couple minutes later, the waitress made her way toward their table, ready to take their orders.
“I’ll take a Caesar salad and peanut butter milkshake,” Jordan said.
Garrett hid his amusement as he ordered a club sandwich, sweet potato fries, and coffee. He’d almost forgotten her love for sweets, especially milkshakes and pies. But he hadn’t forgotten how much he’d always enjoyed spending time with her. He sat back in his chair, listening to B.B. King playing in the background and wondering how he’d ended up here, tonight, with the only woman who’d ever truly stolen his heart and never returned it.
“I’ve decided I’m impressed with what you do,” she said, taking a sip of the lemon water the waiter had just left.
“Why is that?”
“Working these murder cases. I told you before that I’m used to reviewing crimes, analyzing behavior, and coming up with strategies from behind a desk, but going through that crime scene and talking to our victim’s parents . . . I don’t know. These cases get under your skin and leave you wondering what’s happened to our world. Like society’s falling apart and nothing makes sense anymore.”
“It’s because we’re supposed to be the good guys. And when the bad guys keep winning, we question if we’re really making a difference. At least that’s what I tend to do.”
“That and spend the day outside in this freezing weather.” Jordan nodded toward the fireplace. “I think I’ve finally almost warmed up.”
She pulled off her gray scarf, then peeled off her jacket, revealing the necklace he’d bought her for her birthday when they were still together. It had been one of those impulse buys he wasn’t sure at the time if he’d regret or not. Their relationship had still been on uneven ground as they both focused on getting through the academy. But one thing he had been sure of: Jordan was someone he could imagine spending the rest of his life with.
“You’re still wearing the necklace I gave you,” he said.
She clasped the small silver medallion and slid it across the chain. “I’d forgotten. It’s not weird that I still wear it, is it?”
“No. Not at all.”
“Because I loved it when you gave it to me, and I still love it. I just . . . I don’t know. I never stopped wearing it.”
A few seconds of awkward silence went by as the past seemed to hang between them.
“I’m glad you’re wearing it,” he said. “It was a gift, and just because we’re not a couple anymore doesn’t mean you should get rid of it. I bought it for you because I knew you’d like it. Not because of any expectations.”
And he knew there wasn’t some deep psychological reason behind her wearing the necklace. She simply liked it. Nothing more.
The waitress put their orders in front of them, made sure they had everything they needed, then scurried off to another table.
Jordan dipped her straw in her shake, then took a sip. “This was a good idea. I needed to unwind, and I really wasn’t in the mood to go sit in my parents’ house alone. And . . .” She smiled up at him. “The company’s not so bad either. It really has been too long.”
“Yes, it has. Tell me more about your family.” He wasn’t ready to make the conversation too personal. Not yet anyway.
“My parents are good. Like I said in the car, they’re still running the store, and managing to keep the doors open.”
“And your dad’s health?”
“Mom makes him watch his cholesterol and his diet.” She let out a soft laugh. “They’ve always been quite a pair.”
She continued talking while he ate. He tried not to notice how the light from the fire brought out the highlights in her dark hair and made her eyes sparkle. She told him about how she and her sister had surprised their parents with a cruise for their fortieth anniversary. Jordan laughed as she explained in detail how her mom had been terrified to get on the boat, almost to the point of refusing to go. He smiled when she told him that in the end she’d loved it so much she’d actually booked another cruise before they even got off the ship.
He’d always loved her family. They were down-to-earth, hard workers who had always treated him like one of their own. His parents, in contrast, had been handed their success on a silver platter and in turn carried certain expectations for Garrett. No matter how many times he’d told them he didn’t care about money and prestige, they’d always made it clear that they expected him to marry someone on his own social and economic level. And while it might not have been stated out loud, they also had implied, someone of his own ethnicity. Not a woman with African American and Brazilian roots.
Those expectations had deepened the wedge between him and his parents, and pushed him closer to Jordan. Because none of those things had ever been important to him. They had at times, though, bothered Jordan, and he’d known that her uneasiness wasn’t ever going to completely go away. Especially if they ended up getting married.
But of course none of that mattered. Not anymore.
“What about your sister?” he asked, as he struggled to rein in his thoughts. “How has she been?”
“It’s hard to believe, but she’s been married almost a year now.”
“I didn’t know you were back in Nashville for a wedding.”
“I wasn’t, actually.” She took another sip of her shake. “They got married in the Caribbean, and I did manage to get away for the wedding. Alex is a great guy and he makes her happy.”
“Clara always had good taste in men.”
“Because she liked you?” Jordan teased.
He laughed. “Why else?” Suddenly it felt as if it hadn’t been that long since he’d seen her. The awkwardness he felt between them when she’d first arrived slipped away, and he began to realize just how much he’d missed her.
“What about your family?” she asked, breaking into his thoughts. “How are they?”
He grabbed a fry and dabbed it in a pool of ketchup. Family had always been a sore spot. “My father’s still working seventy-plus hours a week at the firm, while my mother runs from one charity board to the next.”
“And your brother?” She stabbed a slice of cucumber with her fork. “How many kids does he have now?”
“He and his wife live in Colorado now with their three boys, which makes me a proud uncle. I try to see them at least once a year.”
“How often do you see your parents?”
“Not that often, to be honest, even though they still live in Memphis. My mom will be here in a couple weeks for a charity event if you’re still around. I’m sure she’d love to see you.”
“Right. Your mother was terrified you’d ask me to marry you, and you know it.”
“She wasn’t that bad.”
Jordan tilted her head and widened her eyes.
“Okay, she was—is—that bad.”
“Though she approved of—what was her name—Sabrina?”
“That was only because Sabrina had the right last name and a trust fund. But I decided a long time ago that who I marry will never depend on what my mother thinks. Of course, that doesn’t stop her from reminding me every time I see her of how disappointed she is that I didn’t marry Sabrina.”
“So no girlfriend in your life?” Jordan asked.
“Not presently. It’s hard to find time to date, and if it wasn’t for my mom’s continual attempts to set me up, I’d probably never go out at all. But I’ve decided that I’m happy being single�
�for now.” He signaled to the waitress for more coffee. “What about you?”
She held up her left hand. “No ring yet, though I have been seeing this guy.”
“Oh?” He hid the disappointment in his voice. Not that it should matter. He didn’t exactly expect her to stay single after all these years.
“Well, we’ve gone out more than once. That makes it a record for me, but it’s nothing serious. And I suppose for the same reasons. I’m too busy to take the time to really work at a relationship. And I have this feeling that my job intimidates most men.”
“Maybe that’s not a bad thing. Any man who can’t handle who you are doesn’t deserve you.” The waitress replenished his coffee cup and Garrett took a sip. “What about your partner?”
“Ryley? I trust him with my life, but that’s it.”
“Just curious. You must spend a lot of time together.”
“He’s got a girlfriend, actually. Her name’s Jill, and she teaches kindergarten.”
Garrett took another sip of his coffee, then leaned back, surprised at how good it felt to be with her. How comfortable. But it had always been that way. The connection between them that he couldn’t explain. And even after all these years, it was still there. He just wasn’t sure he wanted it to be. Because it wasn’t as if anything could come of them spending time together.
“You look like you need to get some sleep,” he said.
“I’ve still got a bunch of files I want to read through before tomorrow.” She shrugged. “Besides, I’ve always thought sleep was overrated. In college I stayed up all night and still managed to go to class.”
“All I know is that one day you won’t be as young as you think you are and those all-nighters aren’t going to come quite so easy.”
He caught her smile, wishing he didn’t have the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her. He reached for his coffee. It had to be the atmosphere. The music, the crackling fire, and the low-lit chandeliers hanging above them. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all.
“You were good in there with Julia’s mom,” he said, shifting the conversation. “You were able to relate to her on a personal level, which was exactly what she needed. She’ll always remember the moment she heard her daughter was dead, but she’s also going to remember how the news was delivered and how you truly cared about her.”
“I don’t know.” Jordan set her fork down and shook her head. “I kept imagining what it would be like if Julia were my sister and my world had just shattered, but the truth is, I honestly can’t imagine what she’s facing right now.”
“I agree. I can’t either.”
“Thanks for this.” Jordan pushed back her salad bowl. “Going out was a good idea. Not only was it one of the best shakes I’ve had for a long time, the company hasn’t been too bad either.”
“Thanks . . . I think.” He chuckled. “Unless you’re comparing me to your shake.”
“Seriously. I’ve enjoyed tonight. It’s not often that I take the time to just decompress. Life’s gotten too hectic. But I’ve missed seeing you. The academy seems like a lifetime ago.”
“I’ve enjoyed seeing you too,” he said. “A lot. I just wish you were here for other reasons.”
“We’re going to find this guy, Garrett.”
“And if that doesn’t happen before another girl vanishes?”
Jordan set her empty glass on the table and shook her head. “We’re going to find him first. We have to.”
7
5:45 a.m.
Lambert Home
Jordan jolted awake at the sound of her alarm the next morning. She grabbed her cell off the bedside table and turned it off. Five forty-five. The scent of coffee and pão de queijo—her mom’s Brazilian cheese bread—permeated the room as she rolled over in the bed in her childhood home. She hadn’t realized how much she missed the ranch-style house her parents had moved into before she and Clara were born, or the room she’d grown up in that looked almost exactly like it had the day she’d left home. It had been the only home she’d known, besides the store.
Pulling back the covers and sitting up, her thoughts shifted unannounced to Garrett. She let out a deep sigh. Even her dreams had been filled with him. And yet she’d promised herself she wasn’t going to let her heart go back there. She told herself that the feelings she’d had for Garrett had died out long ago. And yet here she was, still mesmerized by those dark eyes. Glad he’d suggested some casual time together. But that’s all it had been. A milk shake and conversation.
She grabbed a sweatshirt and pulled it on over her T-shirt, then headed toward the kitchen. Maybe she was simply being sentimental. Seeing her family again, seeing Garrett. Just because she loved her job didn’t mean that sometimes she didn’t wish for something more. That sometimes she wished she could escape to some small town, fall in love, raise a family, and grow old without worrying about the world falling apart around her. Maybe the grass wasn’t greener on the other side, but sometimes it seemed like it could be.
“Mom?”
“I’m in here!” Her mother’s voice sounded from the kitchen.
Seeing her mom made Jordan feel like she was finally home again. They had always been a close family, embracing the cultures from both sides of her heritage. Between her mother’s Brazilian roots and her father’s African American heritage, she’d been given an appreciation for life outside her small world. She’d learned to appreciate her father’s love for jazz and crave her grandmother’s ham hocks, collard greens, and sweet potato pie, and at the same time have a decent handle on the Portuguese language and an enthusiastic love for soccer.
“I found your note this morning,” her mom said, pulling a pan of the pão de queijo rolls from the oven. “You should have woken me up when you got in last night.”
“It was really late. I was afraid I might miss you this morning, though. I know how early you and Daddy leave for work.”
“I told your father I was going to be late today.” Her mom smiled up at her. “I couldn’t exactly concentrate on receipts at the store knowing you were here, now could I?”
Jordan wrapped her arms around her mama’s waist and pulled her tight, not missing the fatigue that settled in her mama’s eyes, or the fact that she’d lost weight since she’d last seen her. She took a step back and smiled. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Oh girl, I’ve missed you too.” Her mom stared up at her as if she were taking in all the details of her daughter’s appearance. “You look good, but tired.”
“This was an unscheduled trip that’s come on the heels of a busy few weeks.” Jordan let out a low laugh. “Apparently, criminals don’t take time off for the holidays.”
“I’d like to say I’ll take what I can get, but you’re never here long enough.”
Jordan dismissed the stab of guilt. “I promise I’ll take some vacation time and come for a real visit as soon as I can.”
“You’re here, and that’s all that matters.”
“It’s nice to be back,” Jordan said. “Has Daddy already left?”
“Yes, but you’ll see him tonight.”
“He works too hard. Both of you do.”
“That’s the only way we know how to do things,” her mom said, covering the bread with a cloth. “The store won’t run itself, as you know. Which means long hours.”
“I’m sorry about the short notice. We just got the assignment yesterday morning.”
“Don’t ever be sorry about visiting.” Her mom turned off the oven, then hung the potholder on a hook. “How long do you think you’ll be here?”
“Not long. A couple days at most.”
“It must be something urgent for the FBI to be called in.”
“It is.” She didn’t bring up the case details. She never did. She might spend more time behind a desk than risking her life on the field, but her mom would still worry.
“You look tired, but do you at least have time for a cafezinhos and breakfast before you head out again?”
/> She needed to get to work, but she also needed to be here. “Always.”
Her mom started the process of making the Brazilian coffee, adding water to a pan, along with some sugar from a frog canister, then setting it on the gas stove to boil. “Go ahead and eat some bread while it’s hot. It tastes better then.”
“I will in a minute, but I have something for you.” Jordan reached for a box she’d left in the room last night when she got in and set it on the table.
“What in the world is this?” Her mom wiped her hands on her apron and tilted her head.
“Open it. It’s just a little present to make up for missing Christmas this year.”
“Stop.” Her mother started pulling off the wrapping paper. “I never want you to feel guilty because of what you do. We’re proud of you, your father and I. Both you and your sister made it further career-wise than we ever dreamed.”
“I know you understand, but I missed being here. Skype was great, but not quite the same. And on top of that, I’ve missed your cooking.”
“So now the truth of why you returned comes out.” Her mother laughed, then pulled off the last of the wrapping paper before opening the box. “How in the world did you get this in your suitcase?”
Her mom pulled out the frog canister set, then started clearing a space for them on the counter.
“They’re from back in the ’70s, for your collection.”
Her father had bought her mom her first frog on their honeymoon four decades ago, and somehow the theme had stuck. Every birthday her dad would add to the collection. And whenever Jordan came back home, she brought her mom a frog.
“It’s wonderful! But your father is threatening to get rid of all my frogs and replace them with NFL paraphernalia.”
Jordan laughed. “He’d never do that.”
“Maybe not, but he enjoys teasing me.”
Her mom added coffee to the boiling water, then strained it before pouring the drink into a tiny espresso cup and handing it to Jordan.
Jordan took a sip. “They don’t make coffee like this back East.”
“They must not make your favorite dishes, either. I need to fatten you up. You’ve gotten too thin, like you’re not eating enough.”
