Whoops! Our New Flatmate Is A Human (A Susan Hall Mystery Book 1)

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Whoops! Our New Flatmate Is A Human (A Susan Hall Mystery Book 1) Page 9

by Adele Abbott


  Susan jumped up. “Ouch! What the—?” She saw the blood on the tip of her middle finger. “What are you doing?” She glared at Dorothy, who was kneeling on the floor, with a saucer in one hand and a needle in the other. “What’s going on, Dorothy?”

  “Err—nothing. When I came in, you didn’t stir. Not even when I spoke to you. I thought—err—I thought you were dead.”

  “Dead?”

  “Yeah. I couldn’t see you breathing, so—err—I got a needle, and stuck it in your finger to check if you were alive.”

  “You couldn’t just shake me? Or shout at me?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She scurried off into her bedroom.

  Susan sucked the blood from her finger, and said under her breath, “That woman must really hate me.”

  Chapter 12

  The next morning, Dorothy had set her alarm to go off early because she wanted to be out of the apartment before Susan was up. She couldn’t face the embarrassment of seeing her after what had happened the night before. She cringed when she recalled the excuse she’d come up with: ‘I thought you were dead.’ What had she been thinking? But then, what else could she have said? The woman must now think Dorothy was crazy, or evil, or both.

  She was absolutely starving, so she called in at Tilly’s on her way out.

  Tilly answered the door, still half asleep.

  “Dorothy? What time do you call this?”

  “Sorry. I know it’s early, but this is an emergency. Can I get some of my blood?”

  “Of course, you know where it is.”

  Dorothy hurried through to the kitchen, grabbed one of the bottles, and downed half of it in one go.

  “You’ll give yourself a bad stomach.” Tilly switched on the kettle. “Do you want a cup of tea?”

  “Yeah, go on then. It’s not like I don’t have plenty of time.”

  “What are you doing up at this hour, anyway? You don’t start work for another couple of hours, do you?”

  “I know. Make the drinks, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

  Tilly poured them both a cup of tea, and they went through to the lounge.

  “It’s all your fault anyway,” Dorothy said.

  “Me? What did I do?”

  “You were the one who told me about soft-feeding.”

  Tilly laughed. “What have you done?”

  “Last night when I came home from work, the guys were out, and Susan was asleep on the sofa.”

  “Was she now?” Tilly smiled a knowing smile.

  “I remembered what you’d said about the soft-feeding, so I thought I’d give it a try while there was no one else around. I was going to draw a little blood onto a saucer, so I could have a taste. Just to see what all the fuss was about.”

  “What do you think of the real thing?”

  “That’s just it. I didn’t get to taste it because when I stuck the needle into—”

  “Hold on! You used a needle?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I bet she screamed the place down, didn’t she?”

  “Yeah. She woke up, and there I was, kneeling next to her with a needle in my hand. When she saw the blood dripping from her finger, she was not best pleased.”

  “I’ll bet.” Tilly was crying with laughter. “Why on earth did you prick her with a needle?”

  “That’s what you told me to do.”

  “No, I didn’t. I said you had to prick her finger while she was asleep, but I never said you should use a needle. You should have used a soft-stab.”

  “A what?”

  “Come on, Dorothy! You really need to go back to vampire school. You must have heard of a soft-stab. It’s a little gadget like the ones people with diabetes use when they need to test their blood sugar. You just put it to the finger, tap the end, and it pricks the skin, but it does it very gently. You barely feel it. Whenever I’ve used it, the human has never stirred. You don’t get a whopping great needle, and stick it into their finger!”

  Dorothy held her head in her hands. “What have I done?”

  “What happened after she woke up?”

  “What do you think? She wanted to know what on earth I was doing.”

  “I can’t wait to hear how you explained that away.”

  “I said I thought she was dead, so I stuck a needle in her finger to see if she was alive.”

  Tilly was unable to speak for laughter.

  “It’s not funny!”

  Eventually, Tilly managed to compose herself again. “Seriously? You actually said you were checking to see if she was dead?”

  “It was the best I could come up with. What was I meant to say? I could hardly say, ‘I’m a vampire, and I wanted to taste your blood,’ could I?”

  “I suppose not. So what happened after that?”

  “I went to my bedroom, and didn’t come out again until this morning. That’s why I got up so early; I didn’t want to bump into her.”

  “You’re going to have to face her sooner or later.”

  “I know, but if I can stay out of her way for a while, maybe she’ll forget.”

  “Oh yeah. Like that’s going to happen. She’s not likely to forget you sticking a needle into her finger, is she?”

  “You’re not helping, Tilly.”

  ***

  When Neil got up, Susan was already seated at the breakfast bar.

  “Morning, Susan.”

  “Hi.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Look, what’s with Dorothy?”

  “How do you mean?”

  “I get the distinct impression she doesn’t want me here.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true. I know she can be a bit blunt at times, but—”

  “It’s not that. I can handle the snide. She’s acting really weird towards me.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Last night, I’d fallen asleep on the sofa, and then a stabbing pain in my finger woke me up. Dorothy was kneeling next to me. She’d stuck a needle into my finger, and made it bleed.”

  “Are you sure you didn’t dream it?”

  “Of course I’m sure. My finger was bleeding, and Dorothy had the needle in her hand. She said she was checking to see if I was dead.”

  Neil laughed. “Oh, dear.”

  “It’s not funny.”

  “Sorry. I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it. Dorothy can just be a bit weird at times. You’ll get used to her.”

  ***

  While she was at Tilly’s, Dorothy decided she couldn’t face going into work, so she phoned her boss to say she was feeling under the weather. Instead, she paid a visit to her mother, Dolly, in Candlefield.

  “Dorothy? I didn’t know you were coming over today. Give me a hug.”

  Babs, Dorothy’s dog, came charging to the front door, and leapt on both of them.

  “Get down, Babs,” Dolly said, but the dog was so excited to see Dorothy, that it took no notice. Dorothy knelt down and let Bab’s lick her face. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m just having a day off work. Why don’t I take Babs for a walk, and then we can have a drink? If I don’t take her first, we’ll never get any peace.”

  “Okay. Do you want me to come with you?”

  “You walk her enough, Mum. Have a rest. I’ll phone you when we’re on our way back, and you can put the kettle on.”

  “Okay then.”

  Dorothy put Babs’ lead on, and they set off to the park. As soon as they got there, Dorothy spotted a familiar face. It was Jill Gooder, the P.I. who had helped her move to Washbridge. Jill had her dog, Barry, with her. The two dogs were soon chasing one another around and around.

  “Hello, stranger,” Jill said.

  “I see Barry’s as crazy as ever.”

  “Tell me about it. How are you, anyway? How’s the fancy dress business?”

  “I chucked that in.”

  “Really? I thought you liked it there.”

  “It was okay, but work
ing with the same people you live with turned out not to be such a great idea. We saw way too much of one another. They were beginning to drive me crazy.”

  “You get on with them though, don’t you?”

  “Neil and Charlie? Yeah, they’re okay, but only in small doses. Particularly Neil. I’m working in a bookshop a few doors down from the fancy dress shop now.”

  “Are you enjoying it?”

  “Yeah. It can be a bit quiet at times, but it’s still better than working with those two. What about you? Are you still doing your private investigator stuff?”

  “Yep. Same old, same old. You’re still living in the same apartment I take it?”

  “Yeah. It’s been great, but—” She hesitated.

  “But?”

  “Until now, it’s just been me, Charlie, and Neil, but the landlord insisted we took on a new flatmate. She moved in a few days ago. Her name is Susan.”

  “Don’t you like her?”

  “It’s not that. She’s a human.”

  “Is that a problem?”

  “Everyone in that apartment block is a sup; that’s always been part of the appeal. We were able to be ourselves there. Now that we’ve got a human living with us, everything’s changed. It’s terrible. I can’t even keep my synthetic blood in the fridge anymore.”

  “Oh dear.” Jill laughed. “I can see how that might be a problem. How are you coping?”

  “I have to keep it in a friend’s fridge—she lives on the next floor. It’s a real pain. And then last night, I made a right fool of myself.”

  “Go on.”

  “Tilly, that’s my friend from upstairs—she’s always telling me how good human blood tastes.”

  “Oh, Dorothy. Please tell me you didn’t.”

  “I would never bite a human. But I did stick a needle in Susan’s finger while she was asleep.”

  “Didn’t that wake her up?”

  “Yeah. She screamed the place down. And now, she thinks I’m completely crazy.”

  “You can’t blame her for that.”

  “That’s not all. She’s a reporter at The Bugle. If she realises who we really are, we’ll be front page news.”

  Jill waved away that suggestion. “I wouldn’t worry about that. The reporters at The Bugle wouldn’t know a good news story if it bit them on the backside. You’ve nothing to worry about there.”

  ***

  “I’ve got a surprise for you,” Dolly said when Dorothy came back from taking Babs for a walk.

  “Oh?” Dorothy was always a little wary of her mother’s surprises. They rarely turned out to be good.

  “The thing is, I know how much you miss Babs.”

  “I do. Every day.”

  “And I know you can’t have dogs in the apartment.”

  “It’s against the terms of the lease.”

  “But you did say that you’re allowed to keep caged birds.”

  Dorothy was getting bad vibes.

  “Come see what I’ve got for you.” Dolly led the way through to the back room. There, in a silver cage, was a yellow bird.

  “It’s a canary.” Dorothy stared in disbelief.

  “I was going to get you a budgie, but when I saw this beautiful yellow bird, I knew you’d love it.”

  Dorothy forced a smile. She’d never been a fan of caged birds, but she could see how excited her mother was, and didn’t want to throw kindness in her face. “You want me to take this back to Washbridge with me?”

  “You’ll be able to manage it on the bus, won’t you?”

  “I suppose so.”

  ***

  “A single to Washbridge, please,” Dorothy said, as she climbed onto the bus.

  “What about the bird?” The driver took miserable to a whole new level.

  “What about it?”

  “You can’t get on unless you pay for that too.”

  “I have to pay for the bird?”

  “Yep. All animals have to be paid for.”

  “Is it half fare?”

  “Nope, full fare for both of you.”

  “Great.” Dorothy paid the driver.

  “I’m really excited,” the bird said, once they’d taken their seat.

  Dorothy stared at it. “How come I can understand what you’re saying? I thought that animals could only talk to witches and wizards.”

  “That’s normally the case, but your mother got one of her friends, a level six witch, to cast a spell so that I’d be able to talk to you, but only you.”

  “She never mentioned it.”

  “She wanted it to be a surprise. I wasn’t supposed to tell you until we were back at your place, but I’m so excited to be going to the human world. My name’s Bob, by the way. What’s yours?”

  “Dorothy.”

  “Where is it we’re going, exactly?”

  “To Washbridge. I have an apartment there.”

  “Is it big?”

  “Yeah, very.”

  “Thank goodness for that. That place of your mother’s is a bit poky. I trust you’ll let me out to have a fly around?”

  “I don’t know about that. I’m not sure my flatmates would approve.”

  “Go on, Dorothy, you can’t keep me locked up in this little cage all the time. What about when they’re out? Surely you can let me have a fly around then?”

  “I suppose so. But only when there’s no one else in.”

  “Good, and what about the talent?”

  “The talent?”

  “You know—the female birds. Are there any in the vicinity?”

  “You mean other canaries?”

  “Canaries, budgies—I don’t really mind as long as they’re fit.”

  “Err—I don’t know.”

  “You’d better find out, and quick, because Bob is a love machine—if you know what I mean.”

  Dorothy struggled up the stairs to the apartment. She had the cage in one hand and the stand in the other. Charlie was sitting in the lounge.

  “What have you got there?” he asked when he spotted the cage.

  “It’s an elephant. What does it look like?”

  “Why have you got it?”

  “Mum gave it to me to make up for missing my dog. You’re not going to give me grief about it, are you?”

  “No, but I am allergic to feathers. They make me sneeze, so I’d better keep my distance.”

  Chapter 13

  Neil would much rather have been going into work. It was the one day of the month that he dreaded; the day he went to Candlefield to see his parents. When he’d first moved to Washbridge, he’d visited them every week. He couldn’t imagine doing that now. He’d gradually managed to extend the time between visits, initially to once a fortnight, then every three weeks, and now to the point where it was just once a month. Even that was too often, and seemed to come around much too quickly. It was always the same—they criticised—he listened.

  “Neil, come on in.” His father greeted him at the door. He was a tall man—much taller than Neil. “How are you doing, young man?” His father gave him a slap on the back. He was a man’s man: well-built, and very athletic. He was nothing like Neil, who always felt a bit of a wimp in his father’s presence. His father had been very sporty in his youth, and still managed to play tennis and golf. Neil had never shown much interest in sports, even though his father had tried to encourage him.

  “You’re just in time,” his mother said. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Go through to the dining room. Jackie and Michael are already here.”

  Neil’s heart sank. Jackie and Michael were his siblings—both older than Neil. He normally saw them once or twice a year, which was often enough. His parents hadn’t told him that they’d be there today.

  “Hi, Neil!” Michael had a similar physique to their father. And like their father, he was also very sporty.

  “Hey, Neil.” His sister, Jackie, was also taller than Neil. She too played a host of different sports. “Come and sit next to me.”

  “I didn’
t realise you two were going to be here.” Neil took a seat next to his sister.

  “We thought it would be a nice surprise.” Jackie grinned. “You’re pleased to see us, aren’t you?”

  “Of course,” Neil lied. “I’m always pleased to see you.”

  It was the best food Neil had had all month, but even that couldn’t compensate for what was no doubt to come. He knew it was only a matter of time.

  As it turned out, they managed to get all the way through the meal before the first salvo began.

  “So, Neil,” his father said. “Are you still working at that silly fancy dress shop?”

  Neil hated his father’s disparaging remarks. “Yes. I’m the manager there now.”

  “Manager?” his father laughed. “How many people actually work there?”

  “Just the two of us at the moment—me and Debs. But I’m looking for someone else.”

  “So there’s just one person under you? Not really a manager’s job then, is it?”

  Neil didn’t respond.

  “Don’t you fancy a change?” his mother said. “Something a little more challenging.”

  “I’m perfectly happy where I am. The money is okay, and the customers are fun. Most of the people who come into the shop are planning a party, so they’re usually in a good mood. I enjoy it.”

  “Come on, Neil!” His brother laughed. “You can do better than that.”

  “Look, Michael, do we have to do this every time we’re together? I don’t tell you how to run your life. I don’t tell Jackie how to run hers. Why do you all feel the need to tell me how to run mine?”

  “Because you’re wasting yours,” his father said. “Jackie and Michael have worked their butts off to get to level five, and it’s only a matter of time before they join your mother and I on level six.”

  “So that’s what this is all about.” Neil took a drink of his lemonade. “I’ve told you all before. I’m not as interested in magic as you are.”

  “Not interested in magic?” His father thumped the table. “You’re a wizard. What kind of wizard isn’t interested in magic? You do realise how this makes us look, don’t you?”

 

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