Clearly, Halo didn’t know the baby was mine. If he did, he wouldn’t have been able to hide the fact he knew. More, he probably would’ve beat the shit out of me long before this.
Who in the hell had she told him the father was? How had my friendship with him reached the point where he didn’t think he could confide in me about this?
“Poor peanut,” he’d said. “She’s got enough of her own shit to deal with.”
I counted back the number of weeks since he’d returned from Italy. Everything that had happened made so much more sense now.
That was the emergency. Sloane was pregnant. He’d arranged for a place for her to live, underwrote her rent, because she was pregnant. He’d even hesitated going to New York this weekend, almost passed up the chance to see Tara, because Sloane was pregnant.
I counted again. This time, the number of weeks between the first time she and I had had sex, when the condom broke, and when she had the mysterious illness.
I didn’t know a damn thing about how women felt when they were pregnant; maybe Sloane didn’t either. I knew she never got the message about the broken condom because it showed up on my phone as not being delivered.
I put the car back in gear. Instead of going to the duplex, I drove home—to my parents’ house.
“Everything okay?” my mother asked when I walked in the door that led from the garage into the kitchen.
“I need to talk to you, Mom.”
She set down the dish towel she had in her hand. “Okay.”
“Where’s Dad?”
“Watching a movie. What’s going on, Landry?”
“Can we go for a drive?”
“Of course. Let me grab my coat.”
“What will you tell him?”
“Your father?”
I nodded.
“I’ll come up with something.” My mom, bless her heart, winked at me before walking away. She was back in not much longer than it would’ve taken for her to get the coat she hadn’t yet put on. She held it out for me to help her with it. “I told him we were going for ice cream.”
“In the dead of winter?”
“Why not? We used to go for ice cream all the time. The weather didn’t matter.”
Once she buttoned her coat, I hugged her. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Come on, let’s get out of here before he decides to come with us.”
“I’m guessing this has something to do with Sloane,” she said after I’d backed my car out of the garage and the door had closed.
I put my foot on the brake. “What makes you say that?”
“The two of you have tiptoed around each other long enough. For goodness’ sake, why don’t you admit what everyone else already knows?”
“Who knows what already?”
“The two of you are crazy about each other.”
I backed the rest of the way out of the driveway and drove a mile down the road to the town park.
“Why are you stopping here?” my mother asked when I pulled up to the curb.
“What do you mean?”
“I thought we were going to get ice cream.”
“I thought that’s just what you told Dad. Do you really want to?”
“Of course I do.”
“Okay, but wait. Before we do that, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Go ahead.”
“Sloane’s pregnant.”
“I see.” My mother turned in her seat so she was facing me. “Your baby, I take it?”
I raised a brow, and she put her hand on mine. “How far along is she?”
“I don’t know.” I counted on my fingers. “Five months?”
“And you found out tonight?”
I nodded. “She didn’t tell me.”
“That’s why Halo’s been in Newton,” she mumbled.
“I don’t know how you figured that out, but yeah.”
She nodded and turned so she was facing forward again. “Let’s go. This calls for a sundae. Maybe even a banana split.”
“Mom, I need you to take this seriously.”
She looked back at me. “Make no mistake. I’m taking this very seriously, Landry.”
“Okay, but we can’t talk about it while we’re in there.”
“You don’t say.”
“When did they add a drive-thru?” I asked while we waited for our order.
“I think you were fourteen or fifteen.”
“Seriously?”
She laughed. “I can’t tell you how many times I wondered how you got a job with the CIA.”
“Very funny.”
“So how did you leave things with her?”
“Pretty much the same as always. I said the wrong thing, and she’s no longer speaking to me.”
“Oh dear. What did you say?”
“I told her I’d be with her when she told her parents and she’d be with me when I told you and Dad.”
“That’s it?”
“Not exactly.”
“What else?”
“I said we’d tell you both we were getting married.”
“Hang on. You’re getting married?” she gasped.
“Why is that a surprise? She’s pregnant.”
“Landry, do your best to try to remember your exact words.”
“Those were my exact words.”
“No. Tell me how you asked her to marry you.”
When I turned my head and looked out the window instead of at her, my mother swatted my arm.
“You didn’t, did you?”
“She’s pregnant.”
“Good Lord, Landry. No wonder she isn’t speaking to you.”
“So what do I do?”
She motioned in front of the car. “Pull forward.”
“About Sloane?”
“I knew what you meant. I’m thinking.”
I opened the window and took our order from the hands of a girl who looked really familiar.
“Hey, it’s you,” she said. “Remember me? From the pizza place?” The girl bent down and looked into the car. “Is that your mom?”
I groaned, rolled up the window, and drove away.
“I can tell you what not to do. Under no circumstances should you bring Sloane here for ice cream.”
I drove back to the park, and we sat in silence, eating our ice cream. My mom looked lost in thought, which I hoped meant she was preparing to tell me what to do.
Finally, she spoke. “Let me ask you this. Do you love Sloane?”
Of all the things she could’ve asked, that was the hardest for me to answer. I mean, of course I loved her, but was I in love with her? In love enough to marry her?
“Before you make Sloane any other offers—or in your case, demands—decide how you feel about her.”
I glared at her over the demand comment. “I meant well, Mom.”
“Beside the point, Landry. You bulldozed over Sloane’s feelings. You are aware she has feelings, right?”
“Do you not understand how hard this is for me?”
Apparently, that was the absolute wrong thing for me to say, given the look she gave me was the same as ones I’d seen from Sloane.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m glad you said that, because it’s exactly what you need to think about, Landry. How hard is this on you versus how hard it is on Sloane. She’s five-months pregnant, and until tonight, it sounds as though the only person she’s been able to lean on is Knox.”
“Right.”
“What are you prepared to offer her? What kind of life, Landry? Do you plan to take over your father’s construction business one day? Is that how you’ll support your family? Or are you planning to continue working in intelligence?”
I started to answer, but she held up her hand. “Where do you plan to live? And the most important question of all is, if you don’t love her, why would you think she would agree to marry you?”
As I listened to my mother’s questions, I thought about the many I’d asked myself when
I left Sloane’s place. It hadn’t occurred to me until now how much I was like her, at least in the way we processed through our thoughts and emotions.
“Landry?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“How do you feel about having a child?”
“You gotta ask the hard questions, don’t you?”
My mother laughed and shrugged. “Do you have an answer?”
“It’s changed from what I would’ve said yesterday.”
“Tell me yesterday’s answer first.”
“No way in hell would I want a kid at this point in my life.”
“And now?”
I turned in my seat and looked into my mother’s eyes. “It’s Sloane, Mom. Can you imagine what an amazing mother she’ll be, not to mention how awesome the kid will be?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Just as awesome as you are, Landry. It’s exactly how your father and I felt when I found out I was pregnant.”
“I couldn’t imagine wanting to have a baby with anyone else.”
“And yet, you aren’t certain if you love her.”
21
Sloane
I paced the kitchen, changing my mind as often as I changed direction. Maybe I’d been wrong to call him, assuming he’d go to my parents. As he said, he’d never do that. I knew he wouldn’t.
Instead of wearing a hole in the kitchen floor, I decided to clean up the mess I’d made earlier. I should’ve finished making the cookies. At least then I’d have something to binge on besides sappy rom-coms that only made me cry.
I opened the lower cupboard to put my chipped bowl away when someone pounded on my front door. For the second time, I dropped the damn thing. “What?” I shouted out.
“Sloane, it’s me, Tackle.”
“Argh,” I grumbled, walking over to the door that I flung open. “What?” I repeated, only slightly less angrily.
“I want a do-over.”
I leaned against the door and sighed. “What do you mean?”
“Let’s do the whole thing over. Everything that happened earlier tonight.”
“That isn’t possible.”
“Sure, it is.” He cleared his throat. “Uh, Sloane, I haven’t seen you in weeks. Can I please come in?”
I took a step back and waved him in, knowing damn well I couldn’t deny him and his puppy-dog eyes.
He walked over and picked up the magazine. “I wish I could come up with something different to say about this.” He set it back down. “I’ll skip ahead a little.”
When he held his hand out, I took it. He pulled me over to the sofa, and when I sat down, he knelt in front of me.
“May I?”
“What?”
He reached under my sweatshirt, rested his hand on my belly, and looked up at me. “Wow.”
That alone was almost enough for me to forgive him anything and everything. I put my hand on top of his. “Do you feel that?”
He shook his head, but otherwise, we both remained perfectly still.
“What about that?”
“No.” His eyes opened wide. “Wait. Was that something?”
I shrugged. “It just started happening, so I’m not sure. Could be a muscle twitch.”
Tackle reached up with his free hand and grasped my neck, pulling me closer until our lips met. When he kissed me, I put both my arms around him, and he did the same.
“Sloane?”
“Shh.” I put my fingertip on his lips. “Give me a minute, okay?”
He smiled. “I’ll give you all the time you need, peanut.”
“You seem happier than earlier.”
He cupped my cheek with his palm. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Okay.”
“Before I do, please know that she will not tell a soul, including my father.”
“You told your mother?” I tried to wriggle away from him, but this time, he held me tight where I was.
“Sloane, I swear to you that she will not tell anyone.”
I felt dizzy and closed my eyes. “If she—”
“She won’t. I promise you.”
“Is that what you had to tell me?”
He sat on the sofa, next to me. “No.”
I leaned my head against the cool leather. “There’s more?”
“You said I seem happier.”
“I’m struggling with caring about your happiness, Tackle. I can’t believe you told your mother.”
He rested his head on the back of the sofa like I had. “I really need to tell you this.”
I sighed. “Okay. Go ahead.”
“My mom asked me how I felt about having a baby. I told her that if she’d asked me that yesterday, I would’ve said no way in hell I wanted one at this point in my life.”
Every muscle in my body tightened, almost like rigor mortis.
“And then I told her today’s answer.” Tackle put his fingers on my chin and turned my face toward him. “Which was—and I’m going verbatim here—‘It’s Sloane, Mom. Can you imagine what an amazing mother she’ll be, not to mention how awesome the kid will be?’”
“Did you really say that?” I asked, trying my damnedest not to cry.
“I really did. Word for word.”
“What does she think?”
“That I handled things with you like a total jackass.”
“What does she think about me?”
“That if you’re smart, like she knows you are, you’ll kick me to the curb. She’s also praying you’ll give me another chance.” His eyes bored into mine. “Will you?”
“It isn’t that simple. There’s still the matter of my brother, who will likely kill you when he finds out.”
“Kill me? I figured he’d throw a couple of punches. You really think he’ll kill me?”
“You’re not funny. He’s going to be really mad, Tackle, and you know it. My parents will be too. At least my mom will be. She’ll be mad at both of us.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“You’re wrong if you’re not sure.”
“My mom seems to think that the two of us have been—how did she put it— ‘tiptoeing around each other long enough, and why won’t we admit what everyone else already knows.’”
“Get the fuck out.”
“She really said it.”
“Not Knox. He isn’t part of everyone.”
“No. He’s not. This will blindside him.”
I could feel Tackle’s sadness about my brother’s reaction as much as I could feel my own.
“He’ll think we betrayed him.”
Tackle pulled me close and kissed the side of my face. “I don’t know about that. He’ll be angry and probably hurt, but at the end of the day, he loves both of us.”
“That’s true.”
“I’m sorry about the whole ‘getting married’ thing. I seriously blew that one too.”
I started to giggle, and once I had, I couldn’t stop. Pretty soon, Tackle was laughing too.
“It was so Neanderthally.”
“You’d love what my mom said about that.”
“Did you tell her everything?”
“About our conversation? Yeah. She kind of pulled it out of me. She said it wasn’t a surprise that you weren’t speaking to me.”
I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my yawn.
“You’re tired. I should go.”
What I was about to do was probably monumentally stupid, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Stay.” I’d rarely seen Tackle speechless, but he was now. “Please stay.”
“You really want me to?”
“A lot.”
He laughed and then got serious. “What about Halo?”
I picked up my phone that sat on the coffee table. I held it up for him to read my brother’s text.
Staying in the city. Didn’t want you to worry.
“That’s a good sign. For him, I mean.”
“I thought so too. Also good for us.”
“You really want me to stay?”
>
“Oh my God. Yes. How many times do I have to say it?” Perhaps equally stupid was the next thing I did, and that was to stand and remove every stitch of my clothing.
22
Tackle
“You look so fucking beautiful,” I said when Sloane stood before me naked. “Come closer.” I motioned with my finger.
I realized as I took my time studying the changes in her body that, sometime in the last few years, she’d become the woman I measured all others by, without my even noticing it.
Her body was the sexiest I’d ever seen. Her boobs were fuller than when I’d last held their weight in my hands, and her tummy was rounder. Overall, she had more meat on her bones.
I thought about the weeks since I’d seen her naked. There was a reason Sloane had walked out on me that day when I sat in the restaurant across the street from her friend’s apartment. She’d been right in her assessment of what I was saying even before I finished speaking. I was pushing her away, letting her know that while I liked her, I wasn’t interested in a relationship. I realized now what utter bullshit that had been.
When I saw chill bumps on her skin, I led her into the bedroom and pulled the comforter and sheet back.
“Under the covers, Sloane.”
She watched with wide eyes while I removed my clothes and got into bed next to her. I pulled her close so her head rested in the crook between my shoulder and chest.
“Tackle?”
“Peanut?”
“Is there something wrong?”
“I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”
“You aren’t…you know.”
I shifted so I was facing her and plumped the pillow under her head. “There’s nothing wrong.”
“Then, why aren’t you touching me?”
I smiled when she put my hand on her breast.
“If I recall correctly, it wasn’t that long ago you referred to me as a Neanderthal.”
Sloane put her hand on top of mine and squeezed. “That was your brain, not your body.”
I couldn’t help myself; I laughed. “There are so many things I like about you, Sloane.”
“I could say the same about you.”
Tackle (K19 Security Solutions) Page 12
