There’s a special place in Hell for guys like me. I know it, yet I’m still pursing something with her. It’s not a relationship—it can’t be. But I do want something. More than I’ve wanted with a woman in a long time. And that right there could destroy us both.
I manage to push those thoughts out of my mind for the next few class periods, but then she walks in wearing that damn dress. It’s like a sleeveless tuxedo on top with some black lace covered material in between the lapels to make it more respectable. It fits close to her slim body before flaring out into a tiny skirt with pleats at the top, and lace at the bottom. Her mile long legs are on display, and even though she’s wearing flats, I replaced them with heels in my lunchtime fantasy. I should’ve never kissed her. I knew it, but I did it anyway. Like I said, I’m definitely going to Hell.
“Hi, Mr. Wells,” Grace says to me as she sits down in the front row and licks her lips.
She’s been making not so subtle passes at me all year. I have no interest in her, other than the fact that I know she’s the proverbial cash cow in Kurt’s operation. One of the only girls who’s participating by choice, not blackmail. She’s also one of the most beautiful girls in the school, and one of the richest. Her participation would make no sense if I hadn’t seen her in action. She loves the thrill, and the sex. She still shouldn’t be selling it, but it isn’t up to me to get her to stop what she wants to do. And if I tried to get personally involved, I know it would send the wrong message. I just have to trust that Isa will do her job, even if it may make my life a lot harder.
“Hello, Grace.”
“I couldn’t quite figure out my homework for last night. Can you help me after school?”
“The tutoring lab is open after school. They can help you.”
“I want your help. I’m sure my parents would appreciate any help you could give me.”
She knows she’s got me. Like I said, she’s one of the wealthiest girls here, and her father has a large amount of influence. I can’t afford to lose my job. “Okay, after school. You can meet me in the tutoring lab.”
“I’d rather meet here,” she says, pouting at me. Yes, pouting, like she’s a little girl. I’m sure she thinks it’s sexy, but to me it’s not.
“Tutoring lab.”
“Fine.”
I glance over, and Isa looks like she wants to murder Grace. Dammit. She has to keep her emotions out of this if she’s going to succeed. I need to remind her of that next time we’re alone. No one can know that anything’s going on with us. It’s more than just my job at stake, and if she’s the professional I’ve been led to believe that she is, she should know that as well as I do. This is definitely going to be harder than I’d planned for it to be, but now that the wheels are in motion, there’s no stopping the train that’s headed our way. I can only hope that we both survive it.
* * *
Isa
School stayed weird all day. Kurt kept alternating between leering and smirking at me, and Grace hit on Mase hard during class. Also, I couldn’t get the conversation with that girl out of my head, and I’m, well, I’m just exhausted from all the subterfuge. This is why I rarely go out on missions. I’m much more comfortable working behind the scenes, helping with research for everyone else’s assignments. But I signed on to the job, and completed all the training, so I need to pull my weight. And this mission was my find. So here I am.
“Hey Double G, how was school today?” Nate asks me with a smirk as I walk into Reina’s office.
I flip him off, before responding. “Aren’t you just adorable? Did you shoot anything today?”
“No,” he says laughing. “But you just flipped me off.”
“I did.”
“I didn’t know you knew how.”
“Leave her alone, man,” Matt says.
“It’s okay. We all know that when I came here, I wouldn’t have done that. But I’ve found that I enjoy silently telling people off that way.”
“Our little girl’s growing up,” Matt tells me with a voice full of affection.
“She’s not a little girl, and you need to stop treating her like one. Isa’s been a valuable part of our team for over two years now,” Reina tells him, trying to sound firm, but she’s smiling too.
“Are you going to punish me tonight for being bad, Princess?”
“Matt! We are at work. Try to remember that,” she says, her cheeks turning red. It’s rare to see Reina blush, but Matt can always do it.
“Oh, I do remember,” he says with a smirk.
“Dear God,” she says, dropping her head into her hands.
Nate and I exchange amused glances as Matt tries to make it up to her. “Sorry, Rei. I’ll behave. Until we’re alone.”
She starts shaking with laughter, and we all join in. “You wouldn’t know how to behave if you tried.”
“For you, I do. Oh hey, there’s some practice right there,” he tells her, referring to their upcoming wedding.
“Just don’t forget how to say it on the big day.”
“Never.”
“I can’t be the only one scared with how cute they’re being with each other, can I?” Nate asks me.
“Nope. It’s a little scary, but wonderful at the same time.”
“Sorry. I’m sure Isa didn’t ask us to meet so that we could put on a show for her and Nate,” Reina says, trying to stop from smiling.
I’m so happy for her. We all are. She’s finally got Matt, even if it’s just for a year of marriage. I may not have experienced it myself, but I believe in true love. That phenomenon where you feel like you’re one with the other person and you’d do anything and everything for them. Reina and Matt are the poster children—or adults—for that. And I don’t think they’re going to be done after that year. I can’t dwell on that now, though. I need to tell them about my day.
“It’s okay, but I did have a mission related reason for calling all of you here. Kurt made his move today. I blew him off, and he told me that I would be part of his little group whether I wanted or not. Then, a girl came up to me and said she was sorry ahead of time for something.”
“Fucking little shit’s going to set you up for something so you have to join,” Matt says.
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure he is.”
“Isa, I know you wanted this mission, but I’m getting a bad feeling about this. The risk may be too high for you,” Reina tells me.
“It’s fine,” I say, but that’s not how I feel. “I’ll do whatever I have to. I know a couple of the girls, like Grace, think they want to be doing what they’re doing, but others didn’t join voluntarily. And whether Grace realizes it or not, she doesn’t really want this life either. I can’t let this continue.”
“I can assign one of the other women to go undercover.”
“No. I can do this, Rei. I promise.”
“You need to go see your man and let him fuck you,” Nate says suddenly.
“Wh-what?”
Nate sighs, and then looks at me. “We all know that you haven’t…you know…done the deed before. I know you won’t have to sleep with the guys who hire you. The A-Team will make sure that doesn’t happen. But I can’t imagine that Kurt, or someone else if he’s not the top guy, won’t want to try you out. I don’t think you want to have your first time be with a pimp.”
He’s right. I know he is. I’m not going to be a virgin for much longer, no matter what happens in my “real” personal life. I just thought I’d be in love for my first time. Maybe not true love, but love all the same. I already like Mase a lot, but love isn’t in the equation. Yet. I know it could be, and maybe that’s good enough.
It’s definitely better than Kurt, or some other creepy stranger getting to be my first. Audrey and Ainsley will help me with the clients, but I can’t fake it if I have to perform an audition. And I don’t know if I could survive that being my first time. I’m trying hard to act tough, but I’m not. And everyone in this room knows it. Nate’s just the only one blunt enough to t
ell it like it is.
“Thanks, Nate. I hadn’t thought of it that way. And I don’t want my first time to go down like that. I should be going.”
“I meant what I said, Isa. I can assign someone else,” Reina tells me.
“No. I joined the Society because I wanted to make a difference. It’s not fair to everyone else if I just stay buried in my books while they take risks.”
“You’ve helped on every mission. Don’t discount what you’ve contributed.”
“I’m not. I just know I need to do more. I need to be out in the field sometimes. It’s only fair.”
Reina nods because she understands. She hasn’t been on a mission since I’ve been here. She was already being groomed to take over when I was hired, and she spends most of her time behind the scenes now. I don’t know that she misses being out in the field, but she told me once that she feels bad about telling people what to do, and doing none of it herself. No one begrudges her, though. She’s an amazing leader—and friend—to all of us.
We all say our goodbyes, and I walk out of the conference room. I text Mase and give him directions to my apartment. I tell him we’ll be safe there. Which we will. All of us live there, except for Ainsley and Faith who live with their guys. The place is more secure than a military base. Mase texts back that he’ll bring dinner, and I smile when I think about seeing him again. Kissing him again. And maybe more. No, definitely more. If I think of this as just another thing to be done, it’ll make it easier. Yeah, right.
Chapter 2
Mason
I pull up to the underground garage that Isa told me to park in. The guard at the gate comes across like a normal rent-a-cop, but I know better. I can see the military training, even if he’s trying to hide it. I’m surprised that she’s invited me into her private lair so soon. But then again, I’m not. Our kiss yesterday nearly set me on fire, and I know it affected her as well. I should’ve left it at just that kiss, but I’ve decided not to deny myself what I want because my window of opportunity isn’t going to last too long.
After getting into the garage, I take the elevator—which opened and started moving on its own—to the lobby. There are several more guards here. I’m honestly impressed with the level of security. I suspected that it would be secure since Isa said that we’d be safe. But this is beyond even what I imagined. I’m kept at the one large desk there until Isa comes out of an elevator to fetch me.
“Hi, Mase. Sorry about the wait,” she says.
“I’ve only been here a couple of minutes.”
“I know, but still. I wanted to be down here when you arrived, but my friend Stella said I had to change.”
I’m actually a little disappointed that she changed. She took off the sexy as sin dress that she wore to school today and replaced it with jeans and a thin sweater. Her dark blonde hair is in a long braid over one shoulder, and she has no makeup on. “You look beautiful as always.”
“Thanks.”
I’m surprised when, instead of walking back to the elevator she just got out of, we walk down a hallway behind the security desk. “Where are we going, Isa?”
“Oh. I thought we could hang out in one of the lounges down here.”
“I thought this is where you live.”
“It is.”
“But you don’t want me in your apartment?”
She shouldn’t want me there. But fuck if I’m not disappointed. My cock is practically crying out in despair, too. We were both looking forward to some naked time. I won’t push, though. Kurt has something planned for her, and she’s not going to have a choice soon. I’ll give her one with me.
She bites her lip before answering. “I do want you there. But my apartment is…umm…not sexy or glamorous.”
“Is it covered in bookshelves?” I ask as I lean my head down towards her.
“Y-yes.”
I kiss along her jaw and down to her neck. “Is there a bed?”
I feel her nod as I nibble on her ear. I suck and lick as she holds on tight to my biceps. I nudge her loose sweater off one shoulder as I continue covering every exposed bit of her with my mouth. She tilts her head back as her nails dig into me. I move back up and nuzzle her neck before speaking again.
“I want you, Isa. You are the sexiest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Your brain is so fucking sexy, and your body has had me hard all day. I want to go upstairs and show you just what you do to me. But I won’t push. If you’re not ready for that, we’ll stay down here.”
“My apartment looks like a library,” she blurts out.
“And you’re the sexy little librarian who’s going to let me take her against those books,” I say against her neck.
“Yes,” she sighs.
I smile as she takes my hand and practically runs back to the elevators. We barely make it inside her apartment before I drop our dinner, and take her into my arms. She’s not hesitant like she was the first time we kissed. This time she’s biting my lip and twirling her tongue around mine. It’s got me even harder than I already was, and I worry that I’m going to come in my jeans like a horny teenager. I’m definitely horny, but my teen years are long over so I need to at least pretend that I can control myself. I pull away from her, and look in her eyes.
“I need you now, babe.”
“Please.”
I practically rip off her sweater, and I do rip her bra as I tear it off her. I stop to stare at her perfect breasts that will fit nicely in my hands, but Isa starts pulling at my shirt, and I reluctantly shift my focus to helping her get it over my head. We take care of our jeans ourselves, and then we’re standing in front of each other in our underwear only.
I growl as I look at her tiny pink lace thong that barely covers her front, and I know won’t cover anything in back. Fuck. I’m not going to last long this first time. Especially when she reaches out to stroke me through my boxer briefs. I grab her hand to stop her, and she tries to jerk away as her cheeks redden.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I tell her. “I just want to be inside of you when I come.”
“Me touching you would make you come now?”
“Oh yeah.”
She gets a big smile on her face. She looks confident and a little cocky. I like it. A lot. Too much.
I have enough presence of mind to reach for my pants, and grab a condom before taking her in my arms. I kiss her hungrily while I slide my hand down her stomach. Moving my fingers beneath that lace, I feel how wet she is for me. She sighs as I start to stroke her, pleased that she’s so ready.
“I can’t wait, Isa. I’ll make you come while I’m in you.”
I don’t wait for a response as I grab a handful of that thong and pull, tearing it from her body. I pick her up and carry her to one of the bookshelves lining the walls. She wraps her legs around me, and I push her against the books and hold her with my upper body as I push my briefs down just enough to free my cock, and cover it. I’ll be romantic later. I need inside of her now.
I line myself up and cup her face with my hands. I need to be a little bit sweet with her even though I feel out of control. She deserves more than an animalistic fuck, but that’s what I’m about to give her. Weeks of watching and wanting have made my control almost non-existent. I hope this one little gesture will tell her that I’m not an ass. Even though I am. I have no doubt about that, but I need to hide that from her as long as I can.
I kiss her sweetly and then slam my way home. She screams as I pin her to the books, and it’s not from pleasure. She’s too tight, and no. Fuck no. What have I done?
“Oh my God, Isa. No. Why didn’t you tell me you’re a virgin?”
* * *
Isabelle
I feel like I’ve just been torn in two. I should’ve slowed things down, but I wanted him. And I told myself it wouldn’t be so bad. But it kind of is. Since he hasn’t moved since he realized he’s my first, I’m getting a little used to it. To him. But it still hurts like hell.
“Well, I’m technically no
t one anymore,” I try to joke as he looks at me in horror.
“You should’ve told me. I wouldn’t have…I would’ve been gentler. Where’s your bed?”
“I want it here. Against the books like you said.”
“No, babe. This isn’t where you want your first time to be. Let me love you right.”
Why do men have to be so hard headed sometimes? I know what I want. And as the pain recedes to a slight burn, I start to move. “I want it here.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. Now do it.”
He starts moving, but I can tell he’s still holding back. I won’t mention it though because while the pain has lessened, it isn’t gone. And I know I won’t have an orgasm with him inside me. At least not this time. But I want to know that I made him find his pleasure.
“You okay?” Mason asks me. He hasn’t stopped moving. I’m honestly not sure if he can. I may not have done this before, but I’ve read a lot about it.
“It’s getting better.”
“Enough to come?”
I can’t lie. “No. Not this time.”
“Shit.”
I lean forward and kiss him, trying to convey that it’s okay. He kisses me back and starts to move a little faster. It’s not long before he’s shuddering inside me and whispering my name against my lips. He slides out of me, but doesn’t put me down. Instead, he turns me sideways so he’s holding me in his arms.
“I’m so sorry, Isa. Show me where your bathroom is so I can take care of you.”
I point to the staircase before speaking. “There’s nothing for you to apologize for. I didn’t tell you I was a virgin.”
“But I should’ve known. You were hesitant when we kissed. And you give off a vibe. I just let my cock lead me.”
Time to be even more honest. It may scare him off, but he deserves it all. “I was hesitant because that was my first kiss.”
Lessons in SECRET Page 2
