“How could he know? Did you tell him these things and, if so, why should he believe a child?” asked Roger.
“I said nothing to him. My mother would not allow me to become a part of the matter.”
“I was no fool, Roger.” Tancred spoke in his own defense. “Neither were you, and if you think back on the matter, you will know the fact of this.”
For several moments nothing was said. Helena felt sorrow for Roger as he reconciled himself to the truth. She could see his eyes soften for just a moment before he hardened himself again.
“It still does not excuse your actions. You refused to even defend yourself to me,” Roger finally stated.
“I should not have needed to defend myself to a friend.”
Again, Roger was taken aback. “Perhaps, but just because Henry absolves you of murder does not mean I do. I see no proof of your innocence.”
“I intend to find it,” Tancred replied. “Until then, my clear conscience is all the proof I need—that and your sister’s fierce loyalty.” He put his hand on Helena’s shoulder.
Helena cherished the touch. She could scarcely believe that he stood at her side. Better yet, that he had not rejected her love. Oh God, she prayed, please lay these matters to rest.
Just then Arianne entered the room with Timothy. “ ’Tis the supper time and I know my own hunger is great. Come to the table and resolve these issues on the morrow.”
Richard went to her and took Timothy in his arms. “I believe my wife is the only one with any sense. Talbot, a room has been prepared for you. Will you stay?”
Roger got to his feet and nodded. “Aye, for this is not yet concluded, and my sister and I must talk.”
Helena felt her peace dwindle. What would Roger do to force his hand in the matter? She decided then and there to not allow Roger to speak with her alone. Tancred could not follow her everywhere, and when his back was turned, Roger very well might steal her away. She was so lost in thought that she did not realize that everyone but Tancred had left the room.
“Is it well with you, Helena?”
She looked up to find his brow furrowed in a worried expression. Forcing a smile, she nodded and accepted his hand. “It has been a most taxing day.”
“And a most revealing one.” He smiled at her upturned face. Then surprising them both, he leaned down and placed a brief kiss upon her forehead.
“Aye,” Helena murmured, her cheeks blushing scarlet.
When darkness fell upon Gavenshire, Arianne and Helena took Timothy and retired to their chamber. Helena could hear voices in the great hall as she closed her door. Would they take matters into their own hands and refuse to consider her will in the affair? She felt frightened for a moment, and then the words from the Easter sermon came back to her. Whom do you seek? Forcing her will to come under control, Helena realized that seeking out God first was harder than she’d believed. Still, by placing herself in God’s hands, Helena knew peace.
Letting contentment replace her fear, she doffed her garments and slid into bed. Thoughts of Tancred’s kiss played on her mind. She touched her finder to her forehead and frowned. Was it only a brotherly kiss? The more she considered it, the more it seemed to be the kiss of an adult to a child. Chiding herself for questioning Tancred’s motives, Helena smiled.
Without further contemplation, she lifted her voice in a song of praise to God. The joyful melody filled the silence of her chamber and warmed the room with hope. For the first time in years, she snuggled down into the cover of her bed and knew a deep, heartfelt serenity. Tanny was home. It made her song just that much sweeter.
In his chamber, Tancred heard the lyrical voice and strained to catch the words. Who was it that sang with such purity and joy? He opened his door for a moment and cocked his head into the hall. Just then the watchman was making his way to stoke up the fires.
“Who is it that sings?” Tancred asked the man.
“ ’Tis the Lady Helena. Her voice is like no other.”
Tancred nodded and closed the door with a smile on his face. Helena was a woman like none he’d ever known. It was a pleasant surprise to find her springing up from his past, yet it was a wonder to replace the image of Roger’s little sister with that of the warm, shapely woman Helena had become.
Preparing for bed, Tancred remembered the way she’d defended him, nor could he put from his mind the way she’d cried in his arms and declared her love for him.
“ ’Tis certainly more than I expected,” he said to the empty room. Then a thought of Artimas came to mind. The man had told Tancred in complete assurance that God’s planning was always best and never out of time.
“If I’d remained here with my land and title,” Tancred mused, “I no doubt would have married and fathered many children by now. Helena was but a child and not yet even fostered. I would never have looked to her for companionship.” Somehow the idea of this gave Tancred a start. He suddenly realized just how unwelcome this thought was.
Getting into bed, Tancred smiled. “She loves me.” He closed his eyes, extremely satisfied. “Someone loves me.”
Chapter 13
Milady, he’s asked to see you again,” Helena’s young maid told her.Helena shook her head. “I cannot.” She looked at the girl with sympathy. Sending her off to meet Roger’s disappointment and anger wasn’t an easy decision. “Tell him he can talk to me later when I am with Her Grace and young Timothy.”
“Aye, Milady.” The girl curtsied and finished helping Helena into a samite surcoat of yellow. The shade did her pale complexion justice, and the gold threads that had been embroidered at the neckline brought out the gold of her hair. Smoothing down the richness of the wool and silk-blended gown, Helena felt the knotting of her stomach as the church bell began to peal. It was time for church and no doubt Roger would seek to accompany her. It wouldn’t matter that he couldn’t speak to her at that moment. He would simply take charge and make his presence known.
Hastening her maid, Helena pulled on the pale yellow wimple and tucked all but a few wily strands of plaited blond hair beneath its covering. She wondered at her predicament when a light knock sounded on the door.
“Helena, ’tis Arianne.”
The maid quickly opened the door for the duchess and took her leave. Arianne entered the room with Timothy in hand. “I thought you might like some company.”
“To be sure, Milady.” Helena nervously slipped her feet into matching yellow slippers and stood to face Arianne. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Arianne put a hand upon Helena’s arm. “Richard has assured me that you will not be forced to leave this place. Your brother has much to answer for, and we will not allow him to harm you.”
Gratitude flashed into Helena’s eyes. “But he is my guardian.”
Arianne nodded. “Aye, but Richard has Henry’s ear, and before you are given over against your will, we will see it brought before him.”
Helena took a deep breath. “I do not wish to be left alone with Roger. Please.”
“Of course. I will see to it that one of us accompanies you at all times.”
“Thank you, Arianne. I owe you much and can never hope to repay it.”
Arianne smiled slyly. “I have but one question for you.”
“Ask it.” Helena’s curiosity was peaked. What could the duchess possibly want to know? All of her secrets were in the open. Her mind raced to consider what the duchess might want to ask.
“Are you truly in love with Tancred?”
Helena’s mouth dropped open and quickly she struggled to conceal her surprise. Arianne’s face was lit with amusement and even Timothy cooed as though delighted by the aspect of Helena’s answer.
“I think you just answered my question,” Arianne said with a grin. “I am most gratified at this turn of events. Tancred needs a good woman
at his side. A strong woman—one who can soften his roughness and strengthen him where he is weak.”
“Tanny is not weak,” Helena said firmly. “He is the strongest man I have ever known. He has endured so very much and yet survives to tell of it. I greatly admire him, and yes, I love him. I have since I was a small child.”
“Good.” Arianne shifted Timothy and took Helena by the elbow. “Then we must work hard to see you two brought together.”
“ ’Tis no matter of hard work, Your Grace,” Tancred stated from the doorway. He stood there with arms crossed, leaning against the stone wall as though he had been there for some time.
Helena blushed and refused to meet his eyes. She was confused that after all of these years of loving him, she should suddenly feel shy.
“Ah, so you are in agreement.” Arianne reached out to hand Helena over to Tancred. “That saves me much time and trouble.”
Tancred grinned at his sister-in-law. His dark eyes met hers. “Would that Helena have saved all of us the time and trouble. Do you know she cared for me since she was a child?”
“So she says.”
“Do not talk as though I were not here,” Helena protested, raising her head to meet Arianne and Tancred’s amused faces.
“I see your sudden case of vapors has passed,” Tancred said and took firm hold of Helena’s arm. “Come along, you two. The priest will have vapors if we keep him waiting.”
After church there was a warming breakfast with thick bowls of porridge and a special treat. Matilda had overseen the making of a special sweet bread. The delicacy was laden with almonds and raisins, and everyone at the table agreed it was a delightful surprise.
Roger had tried twice to corner Helena, once as she was coming out of the chapel and the second time as she was being seated for breakfast. Both times, either Tancred or Arianne had interceded and prevented Roger from whisking his sister away for the private discussion Helena so dreaded.
At the table, Helena found herself carefully positioned between Arianne and Devon, just as she had been since her arrival. On Devon’s other side sat Roger with a scowl on his face that clearly stated his frustration. Helena glanced his way only once and shuddered at the expression she met. Arianne, noticing the problem, gave Helena’s hand a reassuring pat.
Relaxing a bit at this gesture of support, Helena knew that she was truly safe. Arianne was a wise and thoughtful woman, and Richard was completely devoted to her and heeded her suggestions. Helena knew, too, that Tancred would intercede in a heartbeat, should Roger distress her with more than a glance.
Thank You, Father, she prayed silently. Thank You for the protection and comfort I have found among these people. Lifting her head, Helena smiled. She felt sated with reassurance, and even Roger’s sour face could not distract her from feeling secure.
❧
“I keep thinking there is something that I have overlooked,” Tancred said, running his hands through his dark hair. “I have relived the night of the murders over and over until I’m nearly certain that I am there again.”
“Aye, as have I.” Richard’s tone held only sadness. They had agreed to come together and discuss the matter of their parents’ death, but now Tancred was uncertain it would do any good.
“I was excited about returning home after spending much time in London,” Richard continued. “It seemed I had been gone an eternity, and I was anxious to greet our mother and know her gentleness once again.”
“How came you to return home?”
“It came as a surprise, actually,” Richard replied. “I was working upon the training field when a messenger arrived explaining that the king desired an audience with me. I went to Henry, and he told me that our parents had requested I return home to attend some matter. He did not say what that matter might be.”
“But you arrived at the manor only moments after I did?”
“Aye, and the rest you know full well.”
Tancred nodded. “I was settling down for the night on my own estate. It was still a wonder to me that I was titled and in control of such a large piece of land.” Just then Helena’s voice could be heard. She was singing to Timothy, and Tancred couldn’t resist pausing to listen.
“I had just put the business of Roger’s sister, Maude, to rest. At least so much as I could. Maude was outraged that I could walk away from her. She was so certain that she could dupe me into marriage, and when it didn’t work, she destroyed my friendship with Roger.” Sadness overtook Tancred’s features and softened him in a way that Richard had never seen. There were tears in his eyes when Tancred continued. “I loved him as dearly as I did you. He was a brother to me in every way. We grew up together, trained and fought together, laughed and sought entertainment together. Never was there a better friend than Roger.”
“ ’Tis a pity that a woman should destroy that bond.”
“Aye, but one very hard and embittered woman. Maude only sought to better herself and she cared naught for whom it destroyed in the meantime. But that aside, I go back to that night and remember it early on to have passed in relative peace.”
Helena’s singing comforted Tancred as he recalled the latter parts of that tragic evening. The parts that offered no peace. His face grew rigid. “There came a man with a message bearing our father’s seal.”
“Who was this man?” Richard asked .
“I knew him naught,” Tancred replied. “He was there but a moment and then gone. Before I could even break the wax, he had slipped into the shadows of the night and disappeared. I thought little of it. I presumed the letter was but our father’s suggestion for resolution in a matter I had with my villeins. I took the message to the fireside and at my leisure broke the seal and read it.”
“And that message called you to the manor?”
Tancred began to pace restlessly, while Richard shifted in his chair and stretched his legs. Tancred could see the message only too clearly in his mind. The words still haunted him.
“It read, ‘Your assistance is needed immediately. There is grave danger this night for us.’ Of course, I readied my horse and went to them.”
“You are certain the message came from our father?”
“Aye,” Tancred said rather indignantly. “I recognized his seal, it belonged to no other.”
Richard raised his hand as if to calm Tancred’s growing agitation. “I simply wanted you to be sure in your mind. It might be something that would help us learn the truth.”
“It bore his seal. The same that is upon the ring we three wore. There was no mistaking it.”
“Very well,” Richard replied, and his soft-spoken voice seemed to calm Tancred immediately. “Pray tell, what happened then?”
Tancred finally took a chair opposite his brother at the hearthside. He stared into the flames, remembering the fire of another night. “I rode to the manor and found the barn set ablaze. The villeins were already working to put out the flames. I searched for Father, but was unable to find him. One of the men told me he was in the manor house, but I could not believe that our father would allow others to do all of the work. He loved his land and his people and would have served at their side.”
“This is true,” Richard agree.
“I went to the water trough and he was not there. I searched the faces on the way to the manor and realized neither he nor our mother was among those who watched and waited.” Tancred continued to stare into the fire. His mind had transported him back in time. Back to the night when his world was suddenly destroyed.
“The smoke was thick and putrid. It smelled of burnt animals and manure. It seemed a hopeless cause, but the villeins did manage to keep the fire from spreading, which was, itself, a miracle. I believed the matter to be what Father had referenced in his message. I continued my search for him and finally went into the manor house.
“It was dark i
nside. No fires burned in the hearth and no candles or lamps were lit to offer light. The eerie glow of the barn’s fire was all that directed my steps. I called out to Father, but no one answered. I heard something at the far end of the hall. It was nothing more than a scurried scratching sound, like a rat upon the floor. It was too dark to know what the source of it was, so I went back outside and found a torch.”
“You saw no one in the house?” Richard asked skeptically.
Tancred shook his head. His soul writhed in agony, pierced with the regret that if he had stayed to investigate the noise or perhaps come directly into the house upon his arrival, their parents might still be alive. “I heard voices upon my return. Muffled voices, barely audible, but nevertheless there. I called out again, but no one answered. With the torch in hand, I lit some candles and checked out the hall. There was no one. No house servants, no one at all. I knew something must be terribly wrong, and that sense of foreboding followed me through the house.
“I had come to the screens that divided the kitchen area from the hall when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. A booted foot. I came closer and saw the blood. Then the truth of the matter was clear. Our parents were there, together, dead.”
His voice fell flat. “They had both been stabbed several times, and the knife was still plunged there in Father’s back. I drew it out—”
“That’s when I arrived,” Richard stated. The memory of that night was only too clear in his mind. “I came upon you just as you had drawn it out.”
“It truly must have presented a grisly picture. I cannot fault you for what your eyes must have demanded to be true.”
“But I can fault myself for my lack of faith in you. I was greatly humbled by Helena’s bold declaration of your innocence. She spoke with Arianne and me not long ago, and to hear her tell the tale, there was never a doubt in her mind that you might have performed the deed.”
Tancred smiled, his look haunted with a bitter sweetness. “I was redeemable only in the eyes of a child.”
Alas My Love Page 10
