"Yeah," she lied.
"Okay."
They climbed out of the truck and she let Nate retrieve the baby—it seemed like it meant something to him, and even though Mason wouldn't remember, it couldn't be bad for him either. She led them up the stairs of the house and opened the door for him. He went straight through the entryway and to the back of the house like he belonged there, with Layla trailing behind.
Nate settled Mason into the crib, the way she'd shown him one night when he'd run out of small projects to do during the bedtime routine, and then turned to her.
"You need to hit the hay, too."
She crossed one arm over her midsection, grasping the elbow of her other arm anxiously.
"I'm exhausted, but I don't know how I'll be able to sleep."
He touched her shoulder lightly and turned her toward the door, steering her down the hall toward her bedroom without a word. When they stopped, she heard his voice at her back, a deep rumble in the quiet of her dark room.
"Would it help if I stayed?"
Her heart twisted in a way she didn't expect. Of course it would help if he stayed. But would it really make anything better? She was lying to herself if she said yes. It would only prolong the inevitable. But she needed to lean on his strength just a bit longer. And he was offering…
"Yes," she said, barely above a whisper.
"All right." He moved through the room, flicking on the lamp on the bedside table, then shouldered out of his t-shirt. He'd done it a hundred times but it never got old. It took her a minute to shake herself from watching it, but then she slipped out of her pants and bra, leaving the t-shirt she'd been wearing and underwear, and climbed into the bed. It wasn't long before she felt his warmth at her back. Involuntarily, she shifted closer, and then she felt his hand close on her hip lightly, tugging her back toward him, in the familiar, intimate position they always slept in. She let out a soft sigh as his fingers dangled down across her belly and his breath heated the nape of her neck. Even if they were just going through the motions, it was the comfort she needed.
"Nate?"
"Mm?" he mumbled against her back. He'd nestled up close, his fingers absently stroking that soft, slack skin between her hip and the curve of her belly. It was half tickling and half a turn on, and something he always did. Something she loved. So many little things tonight had made her feel like there might be hope; and that tiny spark of hope was as dangerous now as it had proven to be at the beginning of the summer.
"Thank you for tonight."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he moved his hand from her hip and brushed her hair back from her forehead. She felt his breath close, and then pressure, like he was resting his lips against the crown of her head.
"Anytime. Now get some sleep."
It was the best sleep she'd gotten in days.
—FORTY-ONE—
Nate wasn't surprised to find Layla still fast asleep when he roused. He was a little surprised, however, to find his body had forgotten about any of the bad blood and secrets between them. Extra carefully, he slid his arm out from under her head and untangled himself from her soft body. It would have been easy last night, both of them hurting, to make her feel good—to make himself feel better about the whole thing—but that would have undone everything he'd worked so hard to lay out at the beginning of this relationship.
He shouldn't have cared about undoing it, but he did. And that meant he was going to have to figure all of this out sometime between now and when she woke up and found him still in her kitchen. He slid into his jeans, pausing at the door to make sure she was still asleep. She'd moved some, but her eyes were still closed and she breathed evenly. A right at the door took him down the hall to Mason's room. The baby was still fast asleep, and for just a minute, Nate watched his chest rise and fall in the dim morning light. Like nothing at all had happened last night, even though he'd managed to turn his mama's world upside down.
And his daddy's. Now he'd had a chance to sleep on it, everything made perfect sense. Layla was so used to shouldering the burden of her life alone—it was logical that her first instinct wouldn't be to share it, but to protect her ability to continue to carry it alone. It wasn't like she'd ever been able to count on anyone close to her to help her out. She hadn't lied to hurt him; she'd lied to protect herself. He could respect that. He hadn't exactly been forthcoming about losing everything, and that was to protect himself. But none of it really mattered; protecting yourself was useless because regardless of what precautions you took, life was going to hurt you one way or the other. What mattered most was lying right here in this crib, had filled this humble little house for the last few weeks. Love. Family. The loving little family they'd forged together against all the odds and circumstances. And he was a damn fool for letting an emergency like last night be the only thing that proved it.
It wasn't long before he felt her presence in the doorway. He didn't turn right away, but when he heard her take a few tentative steps into the room, he couldn't stop himself from looking at her. He'd told her not a week ago he was falling in love with her, and seeing her paused in the little wedge of morning light coming in through Mason's bedroom window, her long, bare legs and thick thighs poking out the bottom of the oversized t-shirt she'd thrown on, he knew it hadn't been lip service. Her hair was still rumpled, her eyes sleepy, but she was perhaps the most beautiful thing in the world. Nate nodded, and she joined him at the side of the crib, curling her fingers over the rail and peering in, looking for the same thing he had. Her whole posture relaxed when she saw it, and she rocked back on her heels.
"Hey," he said quietly.
"Hey."
"You want some coffee? I'll go put some on."
"Mm," she whispered.
Just like he couldn't stop himself from looking at her, Nate couldn't stop himself from reaching out to touch her jaw either, running his thumb over the crease on her cheek the pillow had left. She turned her face into his touch, a move that nearly broke him. He had been unkind to her, but she still trusted him, looked to him, wanted him. And he felt the same way.
He left her then, standing by the crib. She'd let the baby sleep, but he could understand why she'd want a few extra minutes just to soak in the fact that he was okay. In the kitchen, he assembled the coffee filter and grounds and set up the machine, grabbed two mugs, and the milk from the fridge for her coffee. She padded in just as the final drops of coffee were dripping into the carafe, her brow furrowed like something was on her mind. He'd had enough on his over the last twelve hours; it wouldn't surprise him that she did, too.
"Nate, I need to apologize."
He glanced at her; that hadn't been exactly what he was expecting. When he saw how dead serious her eyes were, he turned, leaning his hips against the counter as he watched her.
"I shouldn't have lied to you about Mason. I should have told you. I just…" she trailed off, brushing her hand over her face to push her bangs off of her forehead. "I was scared because it was getting real."
"It was," he said with a nod. "It is real, Layla. Don't you think I was a little scared too? I'm not exactly the settling-down type, and all of a sudden there's this ready-made family and I want it so bad. To find out it really was mine all along, that I wasted all this time for nothing…it hurt."
"I know." Her eyes flickered downward for just a moment before they came back to his, proud and strong.
"And I have nothing for you, Lay. Except what's standing right here. My truck's on its last legs, and I don't have fifty bucks in the bank. They took my house, my horses…" He let out a breath. He'd never been this honest, maybe not even with himself. "I don't know if this rodeo school thing will pan out. I can't provide for you and Mason the way a man is supposed to. And I think that's why it hit me so hard when I found out."
She leveled her gaze at him across the island, then she was on the same side as him in a few easy strides.
"You don't get it."
"What don't I get?"
"
If I wanted money, I would have called you the minute I suspected I was pregnant. I didn't want to screw up your life. And then you were here, and I thought we were just having fun."
"We were having fun, weren't we?"
"And then when you…said that thing…"
"Said what thing?" He raised a brow, watching her with amusement.
"When you said it, I was going to tell you…I had plans. But then my mother…"
"Said what thing?" he pushed.
She pressed her lips together, her brow furrowed with her frustration. She didn't want to say it out loud, but she had to come to terms with it even if he had to drag her kicking and screaming to it.
"That…you said that you were falling in love with me, and I thought you ought to know the truth then. I was going to tell you."
"So you did hear it." He tipped his head down, watching as she blushed a bit.
"Yes, but…"
"But?"
"I know you didn't mean it."
*
Layla's heart beat a mile a minute when Nate set his eyes on her. Last night, and again this morning in Mason's room, he'd been gentle, kind. She'd all but forgotten about how angry he'd been on her front porch just a few days earlier. And he wasn't exactly angry now, but it was intense, whatever it was. It stole her breath and made her pulse jackhammer. If his fixing a few squeaky hinges and missing shingles on her siding felt real, this was something else entirely.
"Layla Sullivan, how many damn times do I have to tell you something for it to get through to you?"
She couldn't respond, just swallowed, watching as he got closer to her.
"I don't say things I don't mean. I was falling in love with you."
Was… Clearing her throat, Layla blinked. He was so close now she could feel heat radiating from his body. She was half tempted to grab him, half tempted to run.
"I am in love with you. And this little family. I'm all in, Layla. If you'll have me. I didn't know that before, didn't think you'd want me the way I am. But if you'll let me, I want to try to be better for you. And for Mason. I'll do the rodeo school thing and I'll sell wrenches on the side if I have to. Whatever it takes to make your lives better for me being here, not worse."
"Hammers," she supplied.
"Hammers, wrenches, tape measures. The whole damn hardware store. Whatever it takes."
Layla let out a breath. She didn't care about the money—she'd make it, no matter what…financially, anyway. It was the idea of having someone else in her corner. Someone to pick her up when she fell down, to share her secrets with, to lean on when times got rough…that was worth every dollar in the world. And to think that it would be Nate Montgomery wanting to be that person. Well, she wanted to pinch herself.
"It won't be easy," she finally said, a last ditch effort to give him an out.
"You think I need easy?" His lips twisted in a shit-eating grin, lightening the mood marginally. "If I didn't like a little challenge, I never would have ridden bulls for all those years."
"It's not a little challenge. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and I grew up with my mama," she paused, allowing herself a little smile. The weight of the moment was lifting—slowly, but surely. "It's exhausting until you think you can't even stand up anymore but you have to because you have one more shift, something breaks every time you think you've got something under control, and then there's a middle-of-the-night emergency just to remind you you're not in the driver's seat. It's a gut punch, and then another one, until you think you can't stand up anymore…but somehow you can."
Nate quieted her, sliding a hand over her shoulder and down her arm until his fingers threaded into hers and he gave them a squeeze.
"Now imagine dividing that by half."
She pressed her lips together.
"Let me shoulder some of that burden, Layla. It's the least I can do. You've been doing it alone long enough. And you've done a helluva job. But now you can rest a little."
His words hit her right in the middle of the chest, making her heart swell up with something somewhere between pride and love…yes, there it was. Love.
Nate shifted forward, his free hand gliding over her hair and bringing her close to rest her forehead against his. She closed her eyes and drew in the deepest breath she'd been able to take in months.
"I love you," she said, abandoning all the careful caution and anxiety she'd been feeling since he'd shown up on her barstool. She had nothing to lose now.
There was barely a breath before he responded, sending her heart soaring and bringing a fresh flood of tears to her eyes. "I love you, Layla Sullivan. And I'd be proud as hell to call you mine."
—EPILOGUE—
"You ready?" Nate asked from the door. He was leaning on the frame, all cowboy cool in dark jeans and a starched button down shirt, like he was ready for something important. A handful of butterflies took off in Layla's stomach when it dawned on her—that something important was her.
She let out a shaky breath, checking her reflection in the mirror one last time. Her long hair was loose, in soft waves over her shoulders. Kerri had come early to help her out because she was clueless about this sort of thing. They couldn't afford a stylist, or a makeup artist, or even a fancy dress, but she felt beautiful, and that feeling multiplied when she turned back around and saw Nate's face; his gaze all pride and love, and maybe hotter than was appropriate considering they weren't alone.
"I'm ready," she said, willing her voice not to crack. It was silly to be nervous, but the butterflies battering her ribcage didn't get that memo.
"Great," Kerri said, handing Mason to Nate. The baby's outfit was the mirror image of his father's, tiny Wranglers and matching plaid. "I'll let everyone know."
Layla watched her back as Kerri left the room, wondering how the heck she would manage to walk out of the house and to the little altar they'd made by the pond, and then Nate held his crooked arm out to her, balancing Mason on the other hip, and she knew exactly how she'd manage. The same way she'd manage the rest of this crazy life—with him by her side.
Nate leaned over, his breath moving the hair over her ear. "You're so damn beautiful, Lay."
She smiled and drew a deep, cleansing breath. "Let's not keep these people waiting."
Nate led her out of the house, down the porch steps and around the corner of the house. By the pond, the Baylor brothers had assembled a half dozen bales of hay and Nan had supplied old quilts to lay over them. Nan had also assembled flowers from her garden in jars at the end of each little row and a huge table arrangement next to Banks, who stood under an arch Nate had fashioned out of a fallen birch tree from their backyard. The sheriff's face split into a huge grin when they came into sight and all of their guests took his cue, rising and turning. She hadn't formally invited anybody but Banks, Kerri, and Nan, but the Baylor brothers and their wives and assortment of children, as well as the patriarch and matriarch of the family were scattered amongst the bales. And it was perfect. Exactly what she would have planned, if she'd had time to actually plan anything besides asking Banks to marry them.
The leaves were starting to turn but the sun was still hot enough for the little blush colored sundress she wore. Nate had told her to pick whatever she wanted, and she'd briefly looked at the bridal shop in Johnston, experiencing major sticker shock every time she turned over the tag on a dress she couldn't imagine herself actually wearing. This dress had been hanging in a second hand shop—just her size and exactly her style—with the right price tag.
They paused at the end of the row of hay bales to let Lilly Baylor step into the aisle and snap a few pictures; waiting until she checked the monitor on the camera and flashed them a huge grin and a giant thumbs up before they made their way toward Banks.
When they got to the front, Nate tipped Mason toward her and she pressed a kiss to his irresistibly chubby cheek; Nate mirrored her actions.
Banks nodded to the group still standing around them and they sat.
"What
a special day," her soon-to-be brother-in-law began. "Now Layla and Nate didn't want anything too fussy so we're gonna do it quick and dirty so we can get to the part everybody's looking forward to—the celebrating.
"But I am gonna say one thing…off script, before we get started. You all know as well as I do how important family is. There's as much chosen family sitting here as there is blood family, and Nan always taught Nate and me the importance of choosing good family. We chose the Baylors. Nan chose us, and every other person in this town, and I think Nate is making a helluva good choice today. Layla, you're a good one. We all know how fiercely you love by the way you've taken care of that sweet little boy of yours. You're a hard worker and you've got a heart of gold, and I'm beyond happy my brother, who can, by the way, occasionally be a bonehead, has abandoned his bonehead ways and is making you a Montgomery today."
Banks had always been cordial, but Layla had no idea he felt this way about her. She took a deep breath, steeling back tears that threatened to overflow and shook her head. "Don't get me started already."
A chuckle moved through the group behind her and she turned to take them all in. Faces that reflected the same kind of love and joy that Banks' did. She hadn't invited her family—but right now, it didn't matter. From Nan to Kerri to Lilly Baylor and everyone in between, joyful expectation lifted their lips into smiles. This was her family.
"Oh he's just getting going," Nate deadpanned. "Now hurry up, Banks. I can't wait another minute for you to make this woman my wife."
—END—
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Secret Heart Page 21
