by Rye Hart
But my mind also kept conjuring that one fucking moment at prom when that girl had slid into the car instead of Chanel. I could see her face as clear as day. Her beady brown eyes and the braces on her teeth. Her pale skin and her dress that was two sizes too tight. Her makeup was bold, and her cheeks were round. I didn’t know her, and I didn’t find her attractive. But, apparently, I’d been drunk enough to fuck her.
I could remember Chanel’s face as she opened the car door and found us. The aching look in her eye as she saw another woman on top of me. Repeatedly, my mind replayed that moment. I tried looking at my surroundings to see if I could see anyone. I tried committing that girl’s face to memory to see if I could remember her at all from our graduating class. But she was foreign to me. I had no idea who the hell she had been.
All I did recognize was the pain and anguish alive behind Chanel’s eyes as she opened the door.
I wanted to talk to Chanel about what happened that night. I knew it was painful, conjuring those memories. I knew she would try to brush me off and backtrack, but I wanted a chance to redeem myself in her eyes. Even though we talked that first night on the ship, and even though I thought I had convinced her that I was sorrier than she could possibly know, she still didn’t quite trust me. Even now, I could see it in her eyes. When she wasn’t lusting after my body, she was staring at me with this dubious look like she didn’t know whether she should get too close.
It killed a part of me inside, and I wanted a chance to change that.
But I wasn’t sure if she was ready for something like that. For all I knew, I was a fling to her. We were still keeping things a secret even though the tension between us was growing. She had given me no indication she wanted to stop things, but as far as I knew, not even Ana knew what was going on. That told me everything I needed to know. If she wasn’t willing to tell her best friend about us, then whatever this was between us probably wasn’t going to go much of anywhere. Once we left the boat, she’d be done with me.
The more I sat there on my bed and stared out along the water passing us by, the more I wondered if that was what I wanted. I knew my former self wanted to reconcile and have things be okay, but was that what I wanted now, as a grown man with a heavy past and a future that was still undecided? I had the whole rest of my life ahead of me. What good did it do to dwell on the past? I could very well fuck Chanel, get her out of my system, and leave this cruise without ever feeling the need to reconcile a thing. I could save us both the heartache of dredging every ugly detail up and just keep my mouth shut. She was my past, and maybe that’s where she should stay, for both our sakes.
I felt trapped, and I knew how I was when I felt trapped. I tried to daydream my way out of it. I had never been captured as a SEAL, but I had rescued many people who had been held prisoner. The one thing they always told me was that their dreams got them through. They would imagine their loved ones, those they cherished and wanted to see again, and the hope they got from knowing they might see them again kept them alive.
I knew Chanel’s memory had kept me alive many times on the battlefield.
But if I ever felt cornered, I always tried to rationalize my way out of it. I always thought too much about things, and I drove myself crazy with it. So, I attributed my swirling mind to the fact that I was trapped on this boat at sea with a woman my body remembered and craved. That was all this was, a desperate need to get out of a cycle I’d created because I thought with my dick instead of my head. Once I got off this boat and went on with my life, none of this would matter anymore.
That was what I needed to do. I needed to keep my head on straight until I could get off this damn boat.
Tommy was still sleeping, and it was just past breakfast. I knew that I had that damn charity auction at lunch time and the only thing that kept me from outright refusing was the bet that Chanel and I had made. My dick twitched just thinking about it. If I won, I could do anything I wanted to her.
I groaned to myself though because I knew we needed to talk beforehand. The deeper I got with her on this trip, the more my heart wanted something once we were back on dry land. My head was spinning in a hundred different directions and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin.
Knowing exactly what I needed, I threw on some workout clothes and headed out into the hall. I stopped by the breakfast area and grabbed a couple of bananas before heading out to find the gym. I needed to run. Running always helped to clear my head.
It was a decent gym. Nothing special for me. I was more of a free weights and squatting rack kind of guy, but they did have some open treadmills with a beautiful view. I hopped on one and ran six miles, working up a good sweat to justify the lazy pattern I had fallen into on the ship. I circled around to some of the weight machines I knew could challenge my muscles and pumped out some reps. It was nice to feel that burn again. It was a trustworthy sensation, something that happened every time I worked out. I could rely on that sensation. It helped to clear my mind and settle my soul as I worked through the tension I was holding in my body.
Before I knew it, two hours had gone by, and it was time to get ready for the auction.
I grabbed a towel and wiped the dripping sweat off my face. I made my way to the elevator, stepping in so I wouldn’t have to take the stairs. My legs were still burning from my run, and the last thing I needed was to look like an idiot as I fell down the stairs.
“Well, if it isn’t Rhett Smith.”
I turned around at the sound of my name, not recognizing the voice, but the moment I laid eyes on the woman in the elevator with me, I stopped.
Holy fuck, it was the girl from the car that night.
She looked very different, but it was her, with those same beady brown eyes and massive buck teeth. They were straight because of her braces, and her cheeks had slimmed out, but it was fucking her.
“Still don’t know my name, do you?”
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Evelyn,” she said. “I’m a friend of Connie’s.”
She held her hand out as the elevator came to a stop, but all I did was stare at it.
“Connie’s,” I said.
“Yep. She invited me to come along with her on the cruise,” she said.
I eyed her carefully as her hand fell to her side.
“Fuck, you look good. You were a hunk in high school, but you really got it going on now,” she said.
“Rhett?”
I whipped my head around and saw Chanel and Ana standing at the elevator doors. I looked out onto the spa level of the ship as my heart plummeted to my toes. This situation couldn’t get any shittier than it already had, but it was the look in Chanel’s eyes that stopped me in my tracks.
Good God she looked gorgeous in a simple blue dress that made her eyes stand out. Her hair was piled atop her head and the tasteful application of makeup brought her already gorgeous features to life. I was suddenly very jealous of whoever would be bidding on her at the auction.
“I remember you. Chanel Mathews, right?”
Now I’d never hit a woman, but I seriously considered it in that moment. Chanel’s eyes fluttered behind me, and I could tell she recognized the woman. I turned around right as Evelyn extended her hand toward Chanel, but all she did was look at it.
“Seems like the two of you enjoy close quarters,” Ana said.
“Who are you?” Chanel asked. “You didn’t graduate with us.”
“I was a grade under you guys,” Evelyn said. “Connie wanted me to come on this cruise with her and her family.”
“How convenient,” Chanel said.
“Come on, girl. We can take the stairs,” Ana said.
“I’ll join you guys,” I said.
“Nope,” Ana said. “We’ve got it. You enjoy your fun little catch-up session here.”
My eyes grew hard on Ana’s face as she tugged Chanel away from the elevator. The doors closed, and I was once again alone with this woman who had jumped into the car with me that night during
prom. I slowly turned toward her, my hands shoved deep into my pockets to keep from slapping that coy little grin off her cheeks.
“Well, that got weird,” Evelyn said.
“Why are you here?” I asked.
“I told you. Connie invited me,” she said.
“I mean in this elevator. With me.”
“I’m pretty sure you stepped in with me at the exercise level,” she said.
I shook my head as I turned around and shoved the sixth-floor button again.
“Ah, floor six. Connie and I are on floor seven. What room are you?” Evelyn asked.
“None of your fucking business,” I said.
“Well you don’t have to be an asshole about it,” she said.
The elevator doors opened, and I strode quickly away from her. My blood was boiling as Evelyn sighed behind me. I was two ticks short of jogging to my damn door as I heard another door slam open. I looked down the hallway and saw Chanel emerge, Ana hot on her heels as our eyes connected.
“Chanel,” I said. “Can we talk?”
She looked over at Ana before the two of them approached me. Ana’s eyes were on fire, and Chanel’s were full of hurt. Seeing that woman had dug up so many painful memories for me, so I could only imagine what Chanel was going through. Her eyes mirrored the hurt from that night.
“I had no idea she was on this fucking ship,” I said.
“You couldn't have. She didn’t graduate with us,” Chanel said plainly.
“You look amazing,” I told her. “You’re going to raise a lot of money this afternoon.”
She nodded her head and looked just past me. I stifled the urge to scream. Every time I got closer to figuring out where we stood, something would wedge itself between us again. The earlier excitement I’d had at the thought of what would happen after the auction was now clouded by the doubt I saw in her eyes.
“Chanel, I swear—” I started, but she held up her hand.
“I know Rhett. It’s fine. You’d better go get ready for the auction.”
With that, she and Ana walked up to the lunch area.
I ran back to the room and took a quick shower, not bothering to shave the five o’clock shadow I was sporting. I threw on a crisp white button down and a pair of black slacks. I looked at myself in the mirror and grimaced. How the fuck had I let Tommy talk me into this?
When I got to the lunch area, Connie Thomas already had the microphone in her hands.
“Hello everyone! If everyone could please take their places, we can get started. Now I want to remind you that all money raised this afternoon is going to Jeff Banks’ medical fund. I’m happy to say that Jeff is now in remission, but the bills are still coming in. I want to thank all of you for being willing to participate in this great cause. Now the winners will get to take their dates to a nice dinner this evening in the grand ballroom. It’s been set up specifically for the event and you will be treated to a five-star three course meal with champagne and dancing. Now, who is our first contestant?”
Julie Tish, one of Connie’s best friends and co-captain of the cheer squad stepped onto the stage and I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. She was wearing a dress two sizes too small and heels two inches too high. She looked like she was going to fall over at any minute, but she was wrapped so tightly I doubted she’d be hurt by the fall.
I stood and watched as the first few contestants were on the block and clapped when the winners claimed their prizes. I looked for Chanel over the crowd and saw her and Ana standing in the opposite corner of the room. I started to walk over to where she stood when Connie called my name.
“And next we have Rhett Smith, the captain of our lacrosse team. Rhett is single and newly retired Navy SEAL. Let’s start the bidding ladies. Who is ready to have a nice romantic dinner with Rhett?”
I stepped up on stage and plastered on my best fake smile, reminding myself that the money was going to a good cause. I tried to catch Chanel’s eye, but she was looking around the room instead, trying to see who was bidding on me.
“Three hundred dollars going once, going twice, sold! Marcie Dade, come collect your man!” Connie said excitedly.
I looked down at Marcie, another member of our cheer squad that used to flirt with me incessantly in high school. I smiled and tried to be gracious, but deep down, going to dinner with Marcie Dade was the last thing I wanted to do.
“Hi Rhett, gosh you look really good,” Marcie said as she approached me.
I smiled and looked down at Marcie. The years had not been kind, but I couldn’t very well say that to her. “You too Marcie. Thank you for supporting the cause.”
We stepped off to the side as Connie called Chanel up next.
“Chanel here has been keeping busy as a blogger and sometimes writer for the New York Times. She has promised me that she will be sharing her experiences on this cruise in her next blog. Ok, let’s start the bidding for dinner with Chanel.”
“Four hundred dollars,” Tommy called out.
I looked over at him and smiled. I had given him four hundred dollars to bid on Chanel so that she wouldn’t end up with anyone else.
“One thousand dollars!” came another call and the room went silent.
Everyone turned to look at who had spoken, and I thought Connie’s face was going to crack she was smiling so big. Luke Thomas stepped forward, holding a wad of cash in his hand.
“I bid one thousand dollars,” he said again.
I glanced up at Chanel, who looked like she was going to be ill. I thought back to the dinner where Luke had been trying to put the moves on her and my blood began to boil. I tried to catch Tommy’s eye to get him to outbid Luke, but he wasn’t paying attention.
“One thousand, going once, going twice, sold!”
CHAPTER 15
CHANEL
I had decided against dolling up for dinner that night being that Luke had been the one to win the date. I couldn’t help but feel that he was trying to put the moves on me and I didn’t want to do anything to encourage him. He was a nice enough guy in high school, but he’d started giving me the creeps the past few days on the boat.
I decided that I would just go to dinner, try and be nice, and get it over with. Afterward, I could claim a headache to excuse myself, and come back to my room and relax. I freshened up my mascara just a bit and headed up to the ballroom for the special dinner.
When I got there, Luke was already waiting at our table with a bouquet of red roses and a smile. I looked around the room to see if Rhett and Marcie were there and spotted them in a corner. I could tell by the set of his jaw that it was taking everything in Rhett not to tell Marcie to shut up.
“Oh, I’m so glad to see you smiling,” Luke said, coming up to me and mistaking my mirth at Rhett’s predicament for a sign that I was happy to see him.
“Hi Luke. Wow, those flowers are really something,” I said.
“Anything for you Chanel. You deserve nothing but the best,” he replied.
I nodded politely as he pulled my chair out for me and sat. His hands settled briefly on my shoulders and I resisted the urge to buck him off. I reminded myself that it was just dinner.
“So Luke, what have you been up to since high school,” I asked.
He sat back and smiled, looking very pleased with himself before he said. “I have my own company.”
“What type of company?” I asked.
“It’s a clothing company,” Luke said.
“What has made it so successful?” I asked, slipping easily into journalist mode.
Luke scooted his chair closer to the table and leaned in toward me
“It’s high-quality wear that isn’t made in sweatshops. There’s a particular way the fibers of the cloth are woven and blended together that’s proprietary,” Luke said.
“And you built your entire company off just that?” I asked.
“Yeah. I don’t know why everyone is so surprised. I guess no one really appreciated my genius in high school.”
“But it takes a smart woman to do what you’ve done. You get to sit in the comfort of your own home and do what you do best and make money at the same time,” he said.
“I don’t always sit around at home. I have local publications I write for as well. I get out into the community and do all sorts of pieces,” I said.
“I’m honestly shocked they didn’t talk more about you,” Luke said.
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“Because not only are you a hugely successful writer, but you’re also clearly the most beautiful woman in our entire class. These last ten years have only enhanced your beauty.”
“Well thank you for saying so, it’s very kind of you,” I said, feeling more and more uncomfortable with each pass of his eyes over my face and cleavage.
“You know, you deserve better than him. You always did,” Luke said, his gaze darkening just a little.
“Who?” I asked, trying to play dumb, though I knew damn well who he was talking about.
“Now, now, no need to play coy with me, Chanel. You’re much smarter than that,” Luke said, his tone condescending.
“Luke—” I started.
“No, Chanel, it’s as true now as it was then. He didn’t deserve you and he still doesn’t.” Luke said firmly.
Before either of us could say another word, the waiter came to clear our plates. The band took the stage and was preparing to play a set for dancing. I folded my napkin in my lap and pushed my chair back from the table.
“I’m sorry Luke, but I’m really not up for dancing tonight, I feel a migraine coming on and I’d really like to just get back to my room and relax.”
Disappointment and a flash of anger crossed his face and then was gone just as quickly.
“Absolutely, I can walk you back to your room,” Luke said, getting to his feet.
“No, that’s ok,” I said. “I’ll be fine, you should stay and enjoy the music.”
“Nonsense. What gentleman would let you walk alone when you’re not feeling well.”
