by Lacey Legend
“I suppose I jumped to conclusions about the fancy rich boy.”
“You did,” agreed Jenna.
“Do you think it’s too late to take him up on his offer to leave Zada with Nanny Merton this week while I focus on assignments?”
“Given how rude you were to him when he first gave you the opportunity, I’d think it’s very bold to call up and say you want to use his uspcale nanny for free now I’ve given her a positive assessment.”
“All the same, can I have Spencer’s number?”
Jenna looked despairingly at her sister. She loved her dearly, but she could be an absolute trial at times.
“Are you going to abuse it?”
“No. I’m going to ring and apologize for being rude when he visited, and also give my stamp of approval for Nanny Merton to take Zada whenever the two of you want an evening together while I’m at college.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. And then I’m going to ask him if I can drop Zada over tomorrow morning so I can spend the day catching up on my studies.”
“I’ll think about it,” Jenna said, rolling her eyes.
Liana was a force of nature. Sharp tongue and quick temper aside, her sister had a heart of gold and Jenna knew she wouldn’t intentionally be destructive with her relationship with Spencer.
“How come you’re back so early if Nanny Merton was perfect? Is Spencer an awful cook? Did he give you food poisoning and you didn’t want him to hear you on the toilet?” laughed Liana.
“No. I think Leon might be in trouble.”
Liana’s hazel eyes made contact with her sister’s. Jenna could see the disapproval in them.
“What kind of trouble and why would you want to be involved?”
The silence was thick and heavy in the two-bedroom apartment.
“Not the kind of trouble you’re imagining. I told you, he’s changed. He’s not like that anymore.”
“Then whatever problems he’s got, they aren’t your concern, Jenna.”
“Liana, he has no one.”
“He has his mother!”
“He’s a...you know...Leon’s not going to confide in just anyone and he’s not the kind of guy to randomly ask for help. If he’s reached out to me, I can’t ignore him.”
“You don’t have to ignore him, but you don’t have to drop everything at a moment’s notice to go rushing to his rescue. How did Spencer feel about it?”
“He felt I should go if it meant that I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if I chose to ignore the cry for help.”
“That was understanding of him. I’d be fuming if my boyfriend left mid-date, to go and see an ex.”
“I didn’t mention that part,” admitted Jenna.
“Why? If you really want to keep your distance from Leon and he means nothing to you, why didn’t you tell Spencer?”
“Because it’s complicated,” hissed Jenna.
“It’s only complicated when feelings are involved.”
“And feelings are involved.”
Jenna put up her hand to prevent her sister interrupting.
“But not of the romantic kind,” specified Jenna.
“It’s your life. Do as you please. I’m younger than you, Jenna. We had the same upbringing and I rushed into the university to find the first bad boy on campus that I could: like Leon. Remember Zada’s father flew the coop and I have no idea where he is to chase him for child support. He’ll probably never have anything to do with my daughter. A bit like our dad, wherever he may be. Leon is weaving a web specifically for you, and your nobility and soft heartedness will get you trapped in it.”
“I think you’re wrong,” said Jenna, slamming the door as she walked out of the apartment to find Leon.
*
Making her way to the far side of the building, Jenna was glad of the fresh air to clear her head. Some of the comments Liana had made resonated with Jenna. When she received the text from Leon, her first instinct was to help. Leon knew her inside out. He’d have accurately guessed her reaction to his contacting her and he knew she was on a date with Spencer. Had it been a calculated move on his part or merely bad timing?
She knocked on his front door. Half expecting his mother to answer, she was surprised to find the bulk of the brutish Leon greeting her.
“Hey,” he said cheerfully.
He doesn’t look depressed or in need of someone to talk to, thought Jenna.
“Hey yourself. Is your mom not in?”
Leon shook his head. “She’s out with her girlfriends. I expect she’ll spend the night with one of them.” Leon stepped backward and indicated Jenna should enter the apartment.
“You asked me to make time for you and said you needed a friend. What’s going on?” asked Jenna.
“Would you like a drink?”
“Sure.”
“Shall I open the champagne I bought earlier?”
Jenna was going to correct him by identifying that it was only sparkling wine but bit her tongue.
“I’m not certain having an alcoholic beverage right now is the best idea if you aren’t in a good frame of mind,” answered Jenna delicately.
“It’ll improve my frame of mind,” smiled Leon.
Before Jenna could protest, the bottle was opened and she was being passed a glass.
Leon sat beside her on the sofa. He was physically close. Jenna felt mildly uncomfortable and yet she’d spent years on this very same sofa with Leon. Hell, she’d lost her virginity on that particular sofa.
“I’m glad you made time for me.”
“Your text read as if you needed it.”
“I do.”
“As a friend,” started Jenna deliberately, “what can I do for you?”
Leon downed his drink and quickly poured another. Jenna took care to sip hers slowly.
“Dutch courage,” explained Leon.
“What do you need Dutch courage for with me?”
“I’m a man and I don’t like talking about feelings and stuff.”
“Oh come on, it’s me,” laughed Jenna. “Think of what we’ve shared over the years. One of the reasons we lasted as long as we did was because we told each other everything.”
“I know, and now I’m not supposed to tell you anything.”
Jenna found herself downing her glass and refilling it without invitation from Leon. This was not the conversation she was expecting and its direction was dangerous.
“Leon, you and I together was nothing but trouble. We both agreed on that and that’s why we decided to go our separate ways.”
“Sure, sure. We did make that pact when I was convicted. It’s only that I’ve come out of jail and I’ve got no friends.”
“You’ve landed a new job. You’re bound to make friends there. You’re a likable guy. That’s why it was so easy for you to con unsuspecting victims.”
“I don’t do that now,” he reminded her.
“I know. I’m only saying that you don’t even have to make an effort, people are naturally drawn to you. You’ve been hanging round the block since you got out. It’s depressing and full of a lot of losers. You shouldn’t be mingling with them. Of course, you aren’t going to meet any new people until you’re in a situation that allows you to do that. Work will give you that environment. ”
“Jenna, men don’t really discuss the kinds of topics that you and I did. That’s what’s made you special to me. It’s not easy to find that kind of -”
“Friendship,” interjected Jenna, in case he said something inappropriate.
“And now the one true friend I did have, I’m not supposed to spend time with her.”
It was awkward. Even Jenna wasn’t blind as to what Leon was skirting around.
“Leon, I haven’t abandoned you. I haven’t been rude to you since you’ve been back and I haven’t avoided you.”
“Exactly. That’s why I think we should reconsider our pact to keep our distance. We’re throwing away a lot of history and maybe something more.”
/> “Nothing will erase our history Leon but we can’t live in the past.”
“You don’t think the fact that we grew up together and went through so much, doesn’t impact on the present?”
“Of course it does. The reason we agreed we were best out of each other’s lives was because we were holding each other back. Think of the progress we’ve made since we've been apart. My coursework has improved and I’m due to graduate at the end of this academic year.
You’ve started a mechanic apprenticeship in jail and have acquired a permanent job. When we were together, you were dabbling in gangland activities and I was sitting round with no inspiration or future plans. Being apart works for us.”
“It worked for us,” echoed Leon, emphasizing the word ‘worked’.
Jenna could feel her frustration mounting. “I have to be honest, Leon, since you got out and our paths have crossed, and life hasn’t been smooth sailing for me. I mean, I just left a date halfway through because I thought there was something seriously wrong with you.”
“There is something seriously wrong,” growled Leon. “You left your billionaire boyfriend to come see me. What exactly does that tell you? If you wanted nothing to do with me, you’d have steered clear. You certainly wouldn’t run out on a date to visit me at my place.” Leon was passionate and his argument was convincing.
“That’s not how it was,” argued Jenna.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. I came because I was worried about you, but if anyone sent a text with the same degree of urgency as yours, I’d be inclined to go to them straight away.”
“Why didn’t you call me to see what was wrong?”
“Why am I under interrogation here?” snapped Jenna. “I did you a favor by coming round. I thought you were struggling. I thought I might be able to help.”
“I am struggling. I’m struggling to see why you won’t let me back with you.”
“Because it’s wrong. Because I’ve moved on,” she shouted.
Her raised voice echoed throughout the apartment. From the corner of her eye, Jenna could see Leon was visibly upset.
“I’ve changed, you know.”
“I know that,” she said quietly.
“You’ve changed, too.”
“Yes, I have, Leon.”
“We’re both in completely different places to where we were when we agreed it was best to part ways. Given the strength of our relationship and how long we were together...don’t you think it’s worth reconsidering? Isn’t it worth seeing how we work together now we’ve matured and have similar desires for the future?”
Jenna felt trapped. Objectively, Leon had a very valid point. She’d barely been with Spencer. It was all still very new. They were only arguing a few hours earlier about his recent tryst in a club and whether their relationship was exclusive. It’s not as though she was in so deep that she couldn’t get out. Her phone beeped. It was a text from Spencer.
“I hear you got home safe and sound. Hope everything’s okay at your end. Call me if you need anything. In the meantime, I’ll call tomorrow and maybe we can find a time to meet up and finish that date.”
She smiled at the correct grammar and lack of abbreviated words in his texts. She’d been so flustered by her interaction with Liana, and tense about seeing Leon, that she completely forgot to let Spencer know she was home.
You didn’t even think to thank him for the car or dinner, she thought glumly.
A small smile crept over her face as she remembered how quickly Spencer was to apologize, explain his actions when he’d insisted she go on a date with him, and negate her babysitting duties. Spencer had manners and integrity. Even in the text, there was nothing to pressure her into revealing her whereabouts or what situation demanded her immediate presence.
On the surface, it might be easy to walk away from Spencer and try again with Leon. The past was always safer than the future; the familiar always easier than the unfamiliar. The trouble was, Jenna was in too deep with Spencer. She had no inclination to walk away from him. Her relationship with Leon was based on obligation and duty, not out of genuine feelings. Her generous heart made her the kind of girl to rush in and help anyone in trouble, but that was where this visit started and stopped – it had nothing to do with her secretly wanting to be with Leon. The difficulty arose in how to communicate that sentiment to Leon.
“Leon, I understand you’re hurting and I actually appreciate your reasons for wanting to spend time together, but when I say I’ve moved on, I mean emotionally and not just in my day-to-day life. You’ve come out of prison and your world has transformed. It’s hard to get your head around it. Humans are creatures of habit. Wanting to be with me is nothing more than you wanting something secure and stable while you get back on your feet. It’d be a disaster using that as a basis of a relationship.”
“You’ve got all the psychobabble, Jenna, and I’m sure your lecturers applaud your ability to theorize my behavior, but you’re wrong. I’ve loved you for forever and that’s never going to change.”
“I suspect in time, you’ll find you’re wrong there. I loved the boy I grew up with and I have huge admiration and respect for the man in front of me, but I’m not in love with you. If you believe you have those feelings for me, Leon, then I’m convinced we absolutely need to stay away from one another, properly this time. No conversational pleasantries. No stopping by to check in on me or share in a celebratory drink. I promise you, you’ll start enjoying life again and realize you don’t need me by your side to have a good time.”
“You’re wrong,” contradicted Leon. “Think long and hard before you walk out that door, Jenna.”
“Leon, are you threatening me?”
“As I’m sure one of your clever textbooks would’ve told you, there are consequences to your actions and you walking out of here will have repercussions.”
“That is not how friends behave toward one another,” asserted Jenna as she made her way to the front door.
Chapter 13
For once, Jenna was relieved her part-time job required an early start. Even though the apartment block was ghostly quiet, she felt on edge as she left home. Liana had waited up for Jenna’s return from visiting Leon the previous night, but Jenna knew better than to confide in her..
Liana lacked any discretion whatsoever. If Jenna told Liana about Leon’s request and subtle threat, Liana would run straight to their mother to inform her. Their mother, Hannah, held down three jobs and she already blamed the necessity of her excessive hours at work as being solely the result of Jenna’s wayward past and Liana’s accidental pregnancy. If her mother discovered Leon was actively trying to make a place for himself in Jenna’s life, it would add excess worry to a woman who was doing her best (and succeeding) to support two children and a grandchild. Jenna had no intention of adding yet another burden to her mother’s shoulders.
Silent and lost in thought, Jenna felt guilty that she neglected to converse with her elderly client as she cleaned the expensive Greenwich apartment. As she made her way to NYU, she was considering exactly what damage Leon could possibly inflict on her that would seriously affect her life.
She may not have been strictly truthful, but she hadn’t lied to Spencer or betrayed him in any way, so Leon couldn’t be divisive in attempting to break up her new relationship. As he was starting a new job the following week, he wouldn’t have the time to loiter around the block harassing her. Given the close community spirit of their block of apartments, he couldn’t harangue or disturb their household without serious ramifications.
Yet there had been something in his tone of voice that suggested he could make things difficult for her if she refused to include him in her life. The episode niggled at her, mainly because she had no idea what card Leon thought he had to play that gave him power over her.
As she sat in her first lecture of the day, frustration began to set in. Everyone had warned her Leon was bad news and she’d refused to listen. She was convinced
he was a changed man and had defended him to the hilt, only to find he was prepared to stoop low in order to get his own way. In times of trouble, she tended to revert to her best friend, Kelly, but Jenna could already envisage the criticism of her friend upon hearing that she’d spent one-on-one time with Leon in an unsafe environment.
Her phone vibrated in her tote bag. Usually she’d ignore it, knowing it was rude to use her phone during classes, but she was desperate to hear something comforting from one of the people close to her. Withdrawing the cell phone, she saw Spencer’s name flashing on its screen. Relief washed over her. He was cool and distant but Jenna always felt safe in his presence. It was the ultimate in bad manners, but Jenna collected her laptop and textbooks and sneaked out of the classroom.
The phone had stopped ringing by the time she’d scuttled out. Finding a quiet place under a large, leafy tree, Jenna returned his call.
“Hello Jenna,” answered Spencer warmly.
“Hi. Sorry I missed your call. I was in class.”
“Please don’t tell me you excused yourself to ring me back.”
“As a matter of fact, I did. I needed to hear a friendly voice.”
Spencer was quiet. Jenna’s openness always caught him off guard. She was alerting him to the fact that she had a problem, but more importantly, she was drawing his attention to the reality that she considered him to be a positive and calming influence.
“I take it your emergency last night wasn’t easily resolved.”
“You could say that.”
Spencer knew from the tone of her voice she was seriously worried, but Jenna seemed determined to keep the matter private. If he asked for further details, she might think him nosy or interfering.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I’d offer to help, but as I have no idea what’s going on, I don’t really have a lot of advice to give.”
It crossed Jenna’s mind that the reason she was reluctant to confide in Spencer was that deep down, she knew she hadn’t behaved honorably. She knew the second she met Leon on the steps and stopped to talk to him, that he was keen to ignite the old flame. Call it naiveté, but she’d hoped Leon’s alleged need to win her back would fade naturally over time. Instead, it had increased dramatically.
