by Ivy Pembroke
“Hi,” said Max jovially. “Lovely weather we’re having. This is Arthur. And we brought Jaffa Cakes.”
“Oh,” said Sam, and shook Arthur’s hand and accepted the Jaffa Cakes. “Thank you. Won’t you come in? I’m sorry about the rain.”
“Couldn’t be helped,” said Max cheerfully. “I like what you’ve done with the place. Is that going to be a zebra-print accent wall?”
“Oh,” said Sam. “I have nieces who are . . .”
“Decorators?” suggested Max.
“No. They’re actually not. Which is why I didn’t finish that sentence, because I’m not sure how I ended up putting them in charge of decoration.”
Max laughed.
Arthur said, “Max is an artist.”
“Oh.” Sam recalled the red paint that had covered Max when he’d met them. “Right.”
“Which isn’t the same as being a decorator,” said Arthur, “but was a relief, because he handled all of the decoration.”
“Because I had actual opinions on the decoration,” said Max. “Arthur’s reaction to everything was ‘whatever.’ ”
“I don’t care what color the walls are,” Arthur said.
Sam smiled and said, “Won’t you come back to the kitchen? The, uh . . .” Sam realized he didn’t know the family’s last name and he didn’t want to say “the Indians” because that felt rude.
Luckily Max ahead of him saw the family and said, “Diya! Darsh! Nice to see you again!” Which solved the question of the woman’s name, too, thought Sam in relief.
Sam put the Jaffa Cakes on the counter next to the bowl of pakoras and said, “Can I get anyone anything to drink?” and then opened his fridge to display the selection.
He was pleased when they all chose their own drinks, and he provided glasses and then they stood and looked at each other, and Sam thought, This is the world’s worst party.
So he said, “Terrible weather, isn’t it?”
Arthur said, “But we’re supposed to see some sun in another couple of days.”
“That’s good, then,” said Sam.
And that exhausted the topic of the weather.
This was going well.
* * *
Anna said nervously, trying to pretend she wasn’t nervous, as they walked next door for the party, “I wish you’d dress better.”
“Mum,” Emilia said. “I dress fine.”
“You could dress better if you lost a bit of weight.”
“Mum,” said Emilia.
“I’m just saying. You know I’m only worried about you. I know how harsh teenagers can be.”
“Mum,” said Emilia, her ordinarily pale face red now. “Please stop.”
“Fine.” Anna reached out and rang the doorbell. “I’m just saying. It’s a tough world out there and a little extra weight doesn’t do you any favors.”
“Ugh,” said Emilia, and rolled her eyes.
The door opened on the man Anna had seen a couple of times now. Shaggy sand-colored hair, and a pair of light, bright eyes, and a welcoming smile, all dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, and Anna felt vaguely overdressed in the sundress she’d finally decided on and then decided to blame this man for not being better dressed considering he was the party’s host.
Anna graciously extended her hand and said, “Hello. I’m Anna Pachuta.”
“Sam Bishop,” Sam said, shaking her hand.
“And this is my daughter Emilia,” Anna said.
“Yes. We met when I dropped off the invitation. Hello again, Emilia.”
“Hi,” Emilia said.
“Come in from the rain,” Sam said, stepping inside to let them in. “We were just discussing how horrible the weather is, and Arthur was saying that it’s supposed to be sunny in a few days.”
“Oh,” said Anna, because she didn’t know what else to say. “Good”
Sam looked at Emilia. “The other teenager, Sai, is upstairs with my son and his sister, if you want to join them. You don’t have to. They’re playing video games, if that helps you make your decision.”
“I’ll go upstairs,” Emilia said, and shot up the staircase.
Anna didn’t blame her. She didn’t feel like facing all of these neighbors, either.
The Basaks and the gay couple from next door were all ringed around the kitchen, drinking various things. They greeted Anna when she came in and Anna said hello in return and let Sam get her a drink and then tried not to feel too self-conscious about the fact that both the Basaks and the men were clearly couples, and her husband wasn’t there, and that was, well, embarrassing.
Really, all Anna asked out of life was not to be embarrassed, and it was horrible how tricky it was to achieve that. Horrible and exhausting.
Diya Basak said, “And how is Marcel, Anna?” as if to rub in that Marcel wasn’t there.
“Oh, he’s fine,” Anna said. “Feeling a little under the weather today, or he’d be here.” She felt she needed to give some explanation for that.
“The weather is terrible today,” said the one Anna was pretty sure was called Arthur.
“Yes,” Anna agreed, as if she hadn’t just had a whole conversation about the weather with Sam. “Terrible.”
“And how is Emilia?” asked Diya.
Honestly, Anna thought she’d rather talk about the weather than all of these prying questions. “She’s fine,” Anna said.
“Still playing the drums?” asked Diya, apparently determined to bring up every humiliating thing about Anna’s life.
“Oh, is she the one who plays?” asked Sam, from where he was fiddling around with the food in the kitchen.
Anna was alarmed and appropriately, well, embarrassed. “Oh, no, can you hear her over here? Of course you can. Is it terribly annoying?”
“Not annoying at all. She’s quite good. And she doesn’t play too late at night. Sometimes it can make conference calls interesting, but luckily listening to drums being played next door is generally more interesting than whatever’s happening on my conference calls.” Sam sent Anna a smile.
Anna sighed. “She is just determined to play those drums. Won’t listen to sense. If she’s bothering you, I’ll just tell her she can’t play anymore.”
Sam shook his head. “She really isn’t bothering me. Don’t worry about it.”
“And how are your kids?” asked the other man of Diya, who Anna was pretty sure was Max. Unless she had them confused. At any rate, she felt now like she should have been the one to ask about the Basak children, and now everyone was wondering why she hadn’t.
Diya beamed with pleasure. “Oh, so good.”
“Sai is going to be a veterinarian,” added Darsh.
“Does Emilia know what she wants to be yet?” asked Diya.
Anna had demurred on something alcoholic and was now wishing she hadn’t. “She’s keeping her options open.”
“Drummer,” Sam said. “Obviously.”
“Massive groupie future,” added Max.
Anna looked between them, uncertain how she was meant to respond to that.
Luckily the doorbell rang at that moment.
Sam moved down the hallway, and they all sat in awkward silence listening to him greet Pen from down the street, who had apparently brought vegan brownies to the party.
Anna hadn’t brought anything. She wondered if everyone else had brought something. Well, there was a big bowl of what looked like Indian food so obviously Diya had made something. Diya was always making something. It was a lot easier to do things like that when you were home all day instead of working desperately to keep enough money in the bank account.
“Hello, everyone!” Pen said, coming into the kitchen, practically bouncing.
Pen had way too much energy, thought Anna, always running around the street the way she did.
And then Pen went around hugging and kissing everyone, like that was necessary, like they’d met more than once or twice before in their entire lives.
Then Pen sat down and said, “Isn’t this cozy? Your house i
s lovely, Sam.”
“Thank you,” Sam said. “That’s nice of you to say.”
“I am so excited about this party,” Pen said. “I feel like we coexist with each other every day and never get to talk. How is everyone?”
Everyone stared at Pen.
Sam said eventually, “I’m fine,” which provoked a chorus of everyone else agreeing that yes, they were also fine.
“Terrible weather,” added Arthur.
“But sun in a few days,” tacked on Max.
Sam said, “I think I am going to go grill.”
“In the rain?” asked Pen.
“Yup,” said Sam, and then, lucky devil, escaped outside into the storm.
* * *
Teddy was good at Mass Extinction Event.
Sai wasn’t bad.
“You’re not bad,” Teddy told him.
Sai lifted his eyebrows and said, “I’m brilliant at this game.”
Pari sat in the corner and refused to talk.
Emilia came in and said, “Hello, Teddy. Hello, Pari. Hello, Sai, I’m Emilia, nice to meet you,” and, smiling, held out her hand.
Sai grinned and said, “Nice to meet you, too. I think I’ve seen you around the street before. What house do you live in?”
“Oh,” said Emilia, “the prettiest one.”
“Of course,” said Sai.
“But you should know: I have a boyfriend.”
“I bet he’s a pretty great boyfriend.”
Emilia lifted one shoulder in a shrug and said, “He’s okay. He has a terrible haircut.”
Sai laughed. “It’s okay. I have a girlfriend, only she’s very cheeky.”
Emilia whacked the back of his head in that gentle, glancing way she had that was more like a caress. Not that Pari seemed to understand that.
The new kid, Teddy, said, without taking his eyes off the television screen, “I don’t know what’s going on with the two of you but I just killed fifteen of your species.”
“Oh, bugger,” said Sai, and remembered he was supposed to be playing a video game.
* * *
One thing Sam was confident of was his ability to grill properly. It was why he’d chosen a barbecue as the party theme. He’d thought it was brilliant until he’d found himself getting soaked as he flipped hamburgers. But, whatever, it gave him a reprieve from having to come up with conversational topics. He should have made a list of conversational topics when he was preparing for this party. He should have done that instead of working on the failed beetroot salad. It would have been way more useful.
Sam took a deep breath and went back inside with a plate piled high with hamburgers and cheeseburgers and hot dogs, and for a little while everyone happily raided them and topped them off with crisps. The children came downstairs and Pari and Teddy appeared to still not be speaking, but they also weren’t actively attacking each other, so Sam supposed that was a good thing.
Everyone perched wherever they could with their food and Sam thought again how this all would have worked out much better if they could have been outside, where there was actual space.
“So,” said Max, and Sam was grateful at Max’s apparent penchant for launching conversational topics. He’d saved the party a couple of times already by suddenly bringing up a new television show or one of the shops on the high street or the latest Bollywood film that he’d seen. Sam was incredibly grateful for him. If Sam were gay, he’d try to steal Max from Arthur, he thought. A person like Max was useful to have around. “What’s it like living next to the old man next door?”
Sam would not have chosen that conversational topic, but he supposed it was something better than sitting around in silence staring at each other as they ate. He said, “Mr. Hammersley, you mean?”
Which made everyone look up at him like he’d said something extraordinary.
Sam blinked. “. . . Isn’t that his name?” He could have sworn that was what Teddy called him.
“How do you know his name?” asked Pen.
“What?” Sam said, confused. “I don’t know. Teddy found it out.” Everyone turned to look at Teddy, who looked startled at the sudden attention, and Sam immediately regretted dragging him into the spotlight like this.
“He never talks to anybody,” Pen said. “I tried to take him some vegan brownies when I first moved in and he basically slammed the door in my face.”
“You took an old man vegan brownies?” asked Arthur.
“They taste just like normal brownies,” said Pen, and turned to Teddy. “So tell us your secret, Teddy: how did you find out his name?”
“It’s because Teddy’s trying to steal Jack from all of us,” said Pari, suddenly deciding to speak for the first time all day.
Sam frowned at her.
At least Diya said, “Pari, that’s not—”
“I’m not,” Teddy said. “You’re trying to steal Jack.”
“Okay,” Sam said, stepping in. “Nobody’s trying to steal Jack—”
“Steal Jack from who?” asked Pen.
“Exactly,” Pari said swiftly. “Jack belongs to all of us.”
“Exactly,” agreed Teddy, and they glared at each other.
“Jack doesn’t belong to us,” said Anna immediately. “We have cats, and Jack terrorizes the cats.”
“And Jack doesn’t belong to us,” said Diya. “I don’t like dogs.”
“Mum,” complained Pari. “What about Sai being a vet?”
“He’s going to be an exotic vet,” said Diya. “He’s going to work at a zoo. He doesn’t need to have a dog in the house.”
“It isn’t safe to have that dog wandering around,” said Anna to Sam. “You should really keep him on a leash, or inside, or something.”
Sam said, “He isn’t my dog.”
“Dad,” protested Teddy.
“This is his house,” Anna pointed out. “That makes him your dog.”
“Okay, hang on,” said Sam, getting a little annoyed, because he didn’t understand how he was now responsible for the family who’d lived there before him abandoning their dog. “I don’t understand how he ended up here anyway. What sort of people leave their dog behind when they move?”
Everyone basically shrugged.
“We didn’t really know the Thurstons very well,” said Max.
“Having ‘street parties’ wasn’t a thing until very recently,” said Anna—rather pointedly, Sam thought.
“Well,” said Sam, deciding he didn’t really want to row with his neighbors over this, “I think the dog probably belongs to Mr. Hammersley. To the extent he belongs to anyone,” he added hastily, upon seeing Teddy’s hurt look.
That was, of course, when Jack showed up at the back door and leaned his front paws up against it and wagged his tail to be let in.
There was a moment of silence, into which Jack barked happily, oblivious of the drama he was causing.
“We should let him in,” Teddy said. “It’s raining on him.” Sam agreed, but glanced at Diya, who Sam knew really didn’t like dogs.
Diya, seeing his look, said stiffly, “It’s fine. I just don’t want him attacking me.”
“Jack doesn’t attack, Mum,” said Pari.
Sam walked over to the door and let Jack in.
Jack greeted him with a soaking wet rubbing against his jeans. Lovely, Sam thought. “Hello, Jack,” he said to him. “Are you bringing Mr. Hammersley with you?”
“Mr. Hammersley is definitely not a party person,” said Anna.
“Yeah, he didn’t seem too delighted at the invitation,” Sam admitted ruefully, watching Jack make the rounds of greeting everyone in the room like old friends.
“I feel bad for him,” Pen said. “He’s got to be lonely. I never see anyone go over to visit him. Except for Jack.”
“Well, you invited him to the party,” Darsh said. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t teach him how to fish. No, how does that saying go again?”
Sam was busy watching Teddy and Pari have a silent bu
t furious battle over who got to have Jack’s head in their lap. He decided the best thing to do at this point was fetch a towel to try to dry Jack off.
* * *
In the awkward lull between the hot dogs and hamburgers and trying to decide when he should put the biscuits and Jaffa Cakes and brownies out and maybe offer to make tea and coffee for everyone, Sam ensconced Teddy and Pari with Jack and a towel in the lounge and hoped that no bloodshed would result.
Generally you could hear them quarreling about who was doing a better job of teaching Jack how to roll over, and that was at least evidence they were both alive, thought Sam, so he left them to it.
Emilia said, “So, Sai, you’re going to be a vet?”
Sai ruffled at his hair and said, “Yeah . . .”
“He’s going to shadow a veterinarian we know,” Diya said proudly.
Emilia looked at Sai. “Oh, you are?”
“Yeah . . .” said Sai again.
The whole interaction felt awkward to Sam, so he said jovially, as he started putting the food to the side, “Can I make everyone tea? Coffee?”
There were a couple of affirmative responses and then the doorbell rang.
“Maybe it’s Mr. Hammersley,” suggested Max.
Sam, curious at the possibility, went to the door and opened it.
It was not Mr. Hammersley. It was a blond-haired man about Sam’s age, and Sam said uncertainly, “Hello?”
The man smiled and said, “Hello, I’m Marcel Pachuta. Anna’s husband.”
“Oh,” said Sam, surprised, because Anna had given him the impression that her husband wasn’t coming. “Hello. I’m Sam Bishop.”
He shook Marcel’s offered hand and tried not to feel like he was being sized up.
Marcel said, “Is my wife still here?”
“Yeah, we’re in the back,” Sam said, gesturing Marcel inside. “I was just about to make tea and coffee.” He led Marcel into the kitchen.
Anna said in surprise, “Marcel.”
“Hello, everyone.” Marcel smiled and waved and sat down directly next to Anna.
There was a general chorus of hellos.
Diya said, “Are you feeling better?”
“Better?” echoed Marcel.
“Anna said you were under the weather,” Diya said.
Marcel said, “Did she? Well. Yes. I’m better.”
