“Charleigh, what the hell? You haven’t answered any of my texts!” Michael says.
“Sorry, I left my phone in my room.”
“Okay, well I was just asking if you would get my room ready. I’m super stoked to come home. Senior year is going to rock!” He says.
“The maid already got your sheets changed. Mom didn’t have sex in there as far as I know.” I state, somewhat joking.
“What about you?” He jokes.
“I wouldn’t touch your bed with a twenty-foot pole. I saw the nastiness that entered that room.” My heart feels a little lighter listening to him laugh.
“Well, I will see you tomorrow! Our flight is scheduled early so we should be there by one at the latest. We should all hang out like old times!” He says and I can tell he is smiling. Oh Michael, my sweet cousin, never going to happen.
“We’ll see.” We chat for a few more minutes and then finally hang up with promises of seeing each other tomorrow.
I get up and take a shower in my bathroom. I throw on my sweats and a tank top. I’m just dozing off when I hear the rattle of my doorknob. Just what I thought. I push my covers off me and sit up, wide awake.
“What are doing?” I hear my mom asks, drunkenly.
“Oh…um… I was just checking on Charleigh.”
“She’s fine. Come on, big boy, my room is this way, silly….” My mom trails off. I can hear their footsteps fade away.
I wait until I hear her door close before I climb out of bed. I pull on my tennis shoes and throw on a hoodie. I walk to my window, shoving my phone into my hoodie’s pocket. I push open my window and climb my normal route down the trellis.
I round the house and start running. The steady rhythm of pounding feet against asphalt helps to calm my nerves. It’s getting late and I wanted to get some rest, but it’s not going to happen with Tiny Tim in my house.
I run until I can’t. I stop at one of my favorite places. It’s secluded, but the view is fantastic. I sit there for hours. I sit there until the first rays of sun climb into the sky. Only then do I get up and make my way home.
I sneak back into my room, scratching my hands in the process. My arm muscles scream at me as I pull myself back through the window. I crash onto my bed and pray that my heart can handle what today brings……
Chapter Two
I wake up to the sound of voices downstairs and I know that my life will once again be changed. I can hear the high shrill of my mom as she welcomes the boys’ home. I strain my ears and only hear muffled voices. I can’t distinguish between them, but whatever, I don’t care. I grab my stash and take a hit because I’m cool like that. In all honesty, it’s to calm my crazy nerves at the thought of seeing him again.
“Charleigh get down here. The boys are finally home!!” My mom, Cindy, screams.
I ignore her and take another drag. I really need to get rid of this shit. I wouldn’t want Mr. Perfection to have a bad opinion of me. Just kidding! I could give two fucks what he thinks. He is the reason I’m here, stuck in this hellhole of my life. He gets to travel the world and live the dream that I always wanted for us. But I was easily replaced.
“Charleigh, NOW!”
That’s the one. The tone that tells me that I had better move, or I will not be moving later. My mom may be small, but she can pack a mean punch or have Tim beat me up to learn respect. Too bad she doesn’t realize he would like to do a lot more to me and a reason I’m always in my room with the door locked.
I push myself off the floor of my room and kick open the door. I’m going in with guns blazing. Confidence, indifference, my favorite fuck off attitude, after all, I learned it from him. I start down the stairs slowly delaying the inevitable.
“Finally. Look who is here.” My mom looks at me in disdain.
At one time, they were my boys. Michael, my cousin, is the first one to react.
“Charleigh!!!” He grabs me in a hug.
I do love my cousin and I guess he didn’t really abandon me. He did send gifts, some texts, and some phone calls as they toured. What he didn’t realize was that every time we received something from him, I would cry my eyes out. I started throwing the gifts away and not answering the phone.
I limply hug him back.
“Well, look whose here, the rock stars have finally come home. We are so privileged.” I say dryly.
Michael gives a confused look at my tone, but just continues with his peppy attitude. I’m avoiding looking over at my own personal demon. I just know looking at him will break me and I steel myself mentally before I can look directly at him. I’m not immune to his powerful presence. I feel him here, inside my soul.
“Good lord, girl, you are skin and bones!” Michael exclaims.
I look over Michael’s shoulder, finally ready to face him. Our eyes connect, and the warm feelings rush back into me. He is as beautiful as ever, my Shining Bright.
His face shows indifference. Typical, he could give a rat’s ass about seeing me. I hate my treacherous heart from even expecting a reaction. Michael is, of course, the first to comment on my changed appearance.
“What happened to you? Are you bulimic or something? Your hair! These piercings! Do you have a tattoo as well? Aunt Cindy, what happened to our little Charleigh?” Michael teases, but I can hear concern mixed in.
I know I don’t look like I did two years ago. In my former life, I was a pastel wearing, perfectly manicured, lead singer in a cool ass garage band, and the queen bee of our high school even as a sophomore. But life has a way of throwing punches and shit happens.
“I don’t know what happened to her. Come with me, I will help you get settled.” My mom responds.
She knows exactly what happened to me. I watch as they walk away, leaving me with HIM. I hear my mom telling Michael crap about me as she leads him away.
“Personally, I think she is just wanting attention. She is hanging with these god-awful people. I don’t know what to do with her….” She trails off as she gets closer to the kitchen. Funny, I’m pretty sure she could give two shits about me.
“Charleigh.” Asher commands, making me look at him. “It’s been a long time.”
Still the asshole he was right before he left. That’s how he wants to play this? I guess the truth is, he never even realized how deeply I loved him, how long I loved him, or how deeply betrayed I felt by him. I was only 16 and they were only 17. I tried telling him, but he destroyed me with his words. Besides, with the way he treated me, I know he never felt that way about me. In fact, he tried to ruin me in so many ways. I should hate him, but love and hate go hand in hand.
“You’re high, aren’t you?” He says with disgust. I immediately go on defense.
“So, what’s it to you?”
“Charleigh, come on, you’re better than that.” What’s this? Concern from the asshole?
“From what I have heard, you’ve had your share of good times. Pretty sure, you don’t have a right to judge.”
“You can’t believe everything you hear.” He shrugs.
“So, the drinking, drugs, and hos, never happened?”
Asher runs a hand through his dark hair, cut shorter on the sides and long on top. A professional cut. Damn, why does he have to be so gorgeous.
“What is up with you? You know what, forget it, not my problem.” He is already writing me off.
I can see he really could care less about me. I roll my eyes. God, why did I ever think he was something special. I can do this. I can ignore him too. News flash, I’m not the same girl.
“Your right, not your problem. Go fuck yourself.” I briefly see something flash in his eyes before I run back up the stairs, knocking into Michael in the process.
“Charleigh!” Michael yells after me. I continue until I find my cave of loneliness and slam the door on what used to be my future.
It has always been like that between the two of us. We argued more than we got along. Most of the time, he was annoyed with having me around, but then there were ti
mes, I thought I saw something in him.
Two years ago, I was the lead singer of a little band that Michael and I started called The Orphans. Michael and I had started The Orphans when I was 12 and he was 13. It was a pretty hard time for both of us. My mother’s sister, Michael’s mom, passed away from an overdose and his dad was never in the picture. So, Michael came to live with us. My mother was going through her third divorce which resulted in us living in this big house that she won in the divorce settlement.
Michael and I made an instant connection, having to rely on each other since my mother went off the deep end drinking and had an endless string of strange men. Michael had been pretty good with a guitar and I had the vocals. Of course, our band was for fun, but as we got older the more we practiced. One day when I was fifteen, my life changed in so many ways. Asher’s family moved in next door.
One day, Michael and I were hanging out in my room when we heard a “hey!” coming from outside my window. We peered out and there staring right back at us, directly across from my room, was a very cute boy.
From then on, Asher was part of our lives, Michael’s best friend, my future husband even if he didn’t know it, and our amazing drummer. He was such a natural on the drums and his parents could afford the best lessons. Like father like son.
Asher’s father was a drummer for the famous band, Below Zero. In the early years, Asher and I would often spend late nights hanging out of our windows just talking about everything. We developed a strong friendship and I kept hoping it would be more, but as we grew, Asher drifted more away from our friendship.
Something happened to Asher. It was around the time that his parents divorced. The innocent boy was gone and, in his place, was a dark, intense, cold hearted bastard. He was untouchable to me and started not giving a fuck about anything including me. It was almost like he suddenly just hated me.
It didn’t help that he grew so handsome and all the girls at school wanted him. I would blossom as well and get a healthy dose of attention from the males, which would end up being my curse.
I give my head a shake and take another drag to escape my memories. At this rate, I’m going to be out of it. Asher thinks he is better than this, what the hell does he know? Fuck him! I feel myself chilling out. I lay back against my bed and close my eyes.
Suddenly, my door flies open and Michael jumps on my bed. Asher follows behind, sniffing the air, giving me a disgusted look.
“Jesus, it smells in here.” Asher states.
I roll my eyes at him. Michael picks up my stash, examining it in his hand. I try to grab it back, but he holds it up high.
“What the fuck, Charleigh?” Michael asks, concerned.
I roll my eyes again and let him have it without a fight. I know I need to get rid of it anyway. I lay back again, copying Asher’s indifference.
“Can I help you?” I ask dryly. Michael looks a little hurt. Asher flips my desk chair, coolly sitting down.
“So, tell us what has been going on around here? Give us a clue on what we are walking into tomorrow?” Michael asks.
“Can’t you tell she doesn’t fucking know. She is a fucking downer. Probably has a dead-beat boyfriend, no friends, and has a pity party every day.” Ash says cruelly.
“You do not know shit about me or my life.” I glare back.
“Ash, seriously?” Michael glares at him. Asher puts his hands up in surrender with a smirk on his handsome face.
“So, tell us, prove me wrong.” Ash leans forward, waiting for my answer.
“I didn’t know I need to prove anything to you, Drummer Boy.” I can’t deny what he says isn’t true.
“What happened to you?” Michael asks sadly. “What happened to our Charleigh?”
“Really, Michael? You seriously have to ask?”
“Oh, I get it, she blames us. She blames us for every little thing going wrong in her life.” Asher says with a sarcastic laugh. God, what in asshole!
“What are you talking about?” Michael genuinely does not get it.
“Forget it, get the fuck out.” I say, closing my eyes, praying he leaves me the weed.
I feel Michael get up from the bed. I hear the door close and I sigh in relief. I turn to my side, slowly opening them and see Ash still sitting there, staring at me.
“What the fuck!” I exclaim.
He just gets up from the chair, walking over to the bed. My traitorous heart beats wildly.
“Get your life together. Enough of this shit. Get rid of the boyfriend, get rid of the drugs, and get your life back together. Get over the pity party shit and move on.” With that, he strides over to the door. He pauses looking back at me with a look that confuses me. It’s almost like concern.
“You really are too good for all of this.” He throws the small bag of weed on my bed before shutting the door behind him.
I finally return downstairs for the evening. I can hear Tim downstairs trying to impress Michael and I dread tonight. I hope Michael can see through him. When I walk into the kitchen, my mom is pulling out plates and dishing up some Chinese takeout.
“Look who it is.” Tim says with enthusiasm. I’m wearing a large sweatshirt and leggings, but I might as well be naked with how he is looking at me.
“Charleigh, get the silverware.” My mom demands. I do as I’m told and take a seat next to Michael on the barstools.
“So, what’s it like being a Rockstar?” Tim asks. I look down at my food.
“Busy.” Michael replies.
“How bout those fans! All those groupies…” Tim says with a wink.
“We love our fans and there are a few groupies that get a little crazy, but our security takes care of them for us.” Michael says. My stomach drops at the idea of how many girls Ash has been with.
“Oh, come on, give me some details! I bet you got some hot ones lining up!” Tim says, pushing the topic.
Michael squirms a little. I wish Tim would shut the fuck up. He is such a perv.
“Yep, some good-looking ones.” Michael says.
He grabs my hand under the countertop, squeezing it. I squeeze it back. It’s a habit that we have done since childhood. We would seek comfort when we were getting uncomfortable.
My mom gives Tim an evil eye and he shuts up. My mom can’t handle it when other women are brought up.
“So, who have you met that is famous?” Tim asks.
Michael begins naming some people and I focus on eating. I just want to leave so badly. I hate being here. I shove the food down my throat and grab my empty plate. I put it in the dishwasher, avoiding Tim at all costs.
“I’m going for a run.” I say, interrupting their conversation.
“Okay, sweetheart. Be careful.” My mom says. I look at her like she is an alien. What’s with the fake concern?
“Drink lots of water, keep that beautiful body hydrated.” Tim says with a creepy wink.
Michael gives me an eyebrow raise and my mom glares at me. I roll my eyes and head for the door.
“Wait up! I’ll come with you.” Michael yells out. I pause and wait as he cleans up his plate. He joins me at the back door.
“You think you can keep up, Rockstar?” I tease.
“Bring it, Goth Girl.” He retorts back.
We run in comfortable silence for a while. I know he is just biding his time before he fires the questions at the tip of his tongue. We have been jogging for about a mile when he breaks.
“Charleigh, is everything okay?” He asks.
“Sure.” I say.
“Come on Char, it’s me. Talk to me.” He says. I sigh.
“It’s been hard without you here.” I state. He gives me a sympathetic look.
“It was never my intention to leave you behind.”
“I know. It’s his fault.”
“Charleigh….”
“Michael….” He chuckles.
“You have to let it go.”
“He betrayed me.”
“I think you two need to talk. I don’t kno
w what happened between you guys. You used to be so close. In fact, I thought you two would get together.”
“He never saw me like that.”
“I don’t know...” He starts to say.
“Michael! Oh my god, it’s you!! Come on, girls!” A female voice yells out.
“GO!” Michael yells at me, pushing me.
The next thing I know we are racing for our lives. There are at least five girls running after us. We lose them but keep running.
Finally, our house is in sight and we slow down just as Asher is coming out of his house.
“What the hell happened to you guys?” He asks.
I’m breathing heavily and Michael is leaning against me in the same shape. He tries to catch his breath but can’t. I speak first.
“Girls…fans…” I gasp out. Asher nods knowingly. Michael collapses on the ground laughing.
“You should have…seen…her…face…terrified….” He gasps out in between his chuckles.
“Of course, I was terrified! They were fast!” I say, smiling at Michael.
In fact, it’s the first I have smiled in a long time. I catch Asher staring at me. I stop smiling.
“I’ll catch you later, Mikey.”
“Don’t call me that, Char Char!”
“Ugh…” I mutter. I give them both a dismissal wave before going into the house.
I can hear my mom giggling and avoid that direction. I run the stairs two at time, like habit, and lock the door behind me. I jump in the shower. About twenty minutes later, I’m lounging on my bed, glancing through my phone, which is full of text messages from Blake, and trying to distract myself from the window right across from mine.
There is a knock on the door. I get up and walk over to it.
“Who is it?” I ask.
“Michael.”
I quickly unlock it and throw it open.
“Why are you locking your door?” He asks me suspiciously.
“Why do you think?”
“Has he…”
“No, but I think he wants too.” I lie.
I don’t know why, but I’m ashamed. Michael knows my past with my mom’s boyfriends. I hate how I get their attention.
“Charleigh, it’s not your fault.” He states, knowingly.
Lucky Me Page 2
