by T. S. Hill
“You were, Cowboy! You were. I just don’t need to make you any more dangerous. It would be a sin against my own sex, and contrary to my own selfish interest.”
“Time for a serious inquiry to possibly add a little light on a dark area. Okay?”
“Shoot, Cowboy.”, Lori replied.
“It bothered you that the library girl seemed to enjoy catching my cum load in her face, and obviously, wanted it in her mouth. She was even eager to lick it off of her own face. You must have thought that it would be offensive to her, and that’s why you aimed it that way. Do you want to address that, in context to what you would feel like catching my cum load in your face?”
“Ah, shit! That’s an easy answer. I misjudged, that’s all.”, Lori replied and then fell silent.
“How so? Please explain.”
“Aw, shit! You would be really dangerous if you had a fucking clue! Well, even though it may be a sin against my own sex to tell you anything that gives you a clue, I’m going to answer this question for you, because we agreed to answer all questions between us. You’ve got to promise Cowboy, to not share this with any other males, period.
“Okay. Not even my Buddy Al. I swear!”
“Okay. Well, to start with, the girl had fucking Mary Janes on her feet. Those are Little Miss Goody Two Shoes, shoes. Little Miss Goody Two Shoes never take cum in the face willingly. They think cum is nasty, and only a necessary evil for making babies. They are incapable of even conceiving what wonderful stuff cum really is, and how it can be used to convey various things like ecstasy, submission, dominance, acceptance, love, possessiveness, giving, claiming territory, and a whole host of other primitive, and not so primitive, sociological bull shit, that is just glorious stuff! Serious stuff! Good stuff! They don’t even comprehend.
They can’t comprehend. Because, the Little Miss Goody Two Shoes, are too damn convinced that the whole fucking world revolves around what they think and feel. They are afraid of males, and have a revulsion for goo of any kind. They only want to fuck a male to possess him! There is no other reason in the whole world besides reproduction, for a Little Miss Goody Two Shoes to fuck a man, except to let her think that she owns him. Little Miss Goody Two Shoes has no desire to be a woman at all. She wants to be a princess.
A princess doesn’t desire men, she tolerates them. She doesn’t believe in stooping to take cum in any manner, except with one male that she confers the honor upon to father a child for her. Otherwise, she wants no part of cum ever again, anywhere, anytime, or anyplace. To put it in a nut shell, she is a cold, self-centered, loveless, conceited, narcissistic, bitch! Ever known anyone like that Cowboy?”
“As a matter of fact, I have. Had friends marry some of them actually. Didn’t end well. And they were still young when it didn’t end well. Horrible thing! So, this girl had on Mary Janes, which are Goody Two Shoes, but she wasn’t a Goody Two Shoes?”
“Exactly! Every once in a while, and actually more often than you would think, a girl raised as a princess, gets fucked and likes it! Imagine that! Then she loses the princess attitude really fast. In fact, the more she fucks, the faster she loses it.”
“But there are those former princesses, most of them actually, that don’t want to let Daddy and Mommy, and especially Daddy, know that they reject the whole princess bull shit. Because, it would involve lots of monetary rewards being withheld, and parental withholding of love and affection; loss of, new cars, clothes, social standing, and a whole lotta other psychobabble, sick, bull shit!” Lori finally took a deep breath and then continued.
“So! They keep up the appearance of being a princess for Daddy, and sometimes Mommy. Occasionally, Mommy is an underground, former, princess herself, and fully understands and supports, the daughter in her clandestine womanhood. But if the Mommy is still a princess herself, and it becomes known that little princess has thrown off the shackles of princess-hood, then she runs the risk of being completely disowned by her parents. Am I making sense so far Cowboy?”
“Actually, you are making so much sense, that a whole lot of my past is just now starting to make sense. Please! Continue!”
“Well a clandestine princess will continue to talk the talk, and dress the part, but in secret they do not walk the walk. Publicly they may appear to be, dating the right guy, going to the country club dance, even refusing heavy petting with their “official” boyfriend, but then fucking the brains out of multiple other guys when they think they can get away with it.
Sometimes they wind up with the “bad boy syndrome”, but sometimes not. That’s a whole other area of psychobabble! Anyway, these clandestine princesses, they leave the house dressed one way in the morning and appear somewhere else looking completely different. Some of them just make wardrobe adjustments, while some of them have completely separate wardrobes for places where they are out of the parent’s sight.
Bottom line; this girl was a clandestine princess, trying to escape her goody two shoes hell. Obviously, she changes out her, much longer I’m sure, skirt that she leaves home in, for a short one, and then back again before she returns home. The same with her bra, taking it off when she gets to work, and putting it back on before she goes home.
I figure that she either hadn’t gotten around to swapping shoes on the way to work yet, or she just couldn’t afford it yet. Or, who knows? She may have found that the shoes she had were comfortable, and have been getting laid regular anyway, so… You know? What the fuck?”
“Okay.”, “I’m still not getting, how if you knew all of this to be true, that you missed the call on this girl so badly.”
“It was the damn shoes, Cowboy! What did you notice first about her? Her tits! Right?”
“Honestly? Yep! Then after that my eyes sorta...”
“Never mind after the tits. The tits got your eyes, and that drove your attention. Well, as a reformed princess myself, I know that your hot body got her attention first, followed by your pretty face, and eyes, and then your body language, and finally, your hands and feet and eyes.”
“I’m not going to ask for an explanation for all of that right now. Just keep moving about the princess syndrome.”
“You noticed her tits! Her loose tits! Her braless, mammoth, tits! I noticed the damn shoes! Women look at fashion. Men look at tits!”
“Well there’s ass, and legs, and eyes, and lips and total face, and, well yeah! There’s tits!”, I replied. “So, you told all of this to me to explain that, I looked at her tits, and you looked at her shoes, and that’s why she wanted me to cum in her face, but right then, at the time, you didn’t get it?”
She glared at me and then said, “Cowboy, if we weren’t in public, right now, I’d slap the shit out of you!”
“I’m just poking at you Lori!”, I said, and then pinched the back of her thigh from under the table.
“Ow! Son of a bitch Cowboy! I might like a little pain after I’m turned on, but not before!” The old white-haired couple a few tables over from us, turned and looked at us, smiling. I didn’t know if they were deaf, and didn’t understand what they heard, or if maybe the old lady was a reformed princess herself.
“Please Lorie, finish?”
“Okay. Just don’t fucking pinch me. Well, not here anyway. Maybe someplace else, after, you know…”. Chuckling, I asked her to go on with what she had to tell me.
“Very well. I think part of what you were asking also Cowboy, in an implied way, was how I felt about cum in the face.” She arched an eyebrow, which I took to mean, that she expected an answer to her implied question. So, I gave it.
“So how do you feel about cum period Lori? I don’t want to limit this to just your face, but how do you feel about it anywhere?”
“When it’s your cum? I fucking love it! On my face, in my mouth, my pussy, my ass, on my tits, my tummy, my ass cheeks, anywhere on me, except in my eyes. Cum in the eyes, for some reason, can sometimes burn like hell. Other men’s cum? They have no fucking right! Maybe if I weren’t a former princess
myself, then I might love everybody’s cum. But coming from where I do… Heh, that’s a little pun, huh? Anyway, I’m a one-man woman, and being the alpha male that you are, I doubt you would tolerate another man’s cum on me.”
“Damn right, I wouldn’t!”, I retorted.
“That’s what I said. Anyway, titty girl, obviously hasn’t become locked on to just one man yet. You were attractive to her, so her newly unleashed sexuality just happened to want you. That was it. Not to knock your dick in the dirt or anything, but she was like a kid spotting a piece of candy in the store, she wanted you right there and then.
Tomorrow it would have been another piece, in another store. Eventually she would get that worked out though, and reach a fork, where she chose to fuck everything in her path, or she would click with Mr. Right, which pretty much ends the whole princess cycle. I got lucky. There was porn, then the restaurant salesman, and then I met you. That pretty much put an end to my princess cycle. Getting raped? I refuse to let that count for anything.
Titty girl? She isn’t there yet. But to sum it up for you Cowboy; yeah, if she had been a Miss Goody Two Shoes princess, like I first thought, the shots of cum in the face would have absolutely horrified, and freaked her out.”
“Do you realize that you’re saying, that because that girl came on to me, you were willing to use my sexuality, and our relationship, to degrade and demean that girl?”
“Yes. I realize all of that. I also realize that you were willing to be a part of that. That you were gratified in some way by letting her share in our intimacy, at least in a voyeuristic way. Evidently it bothered you to some degree when she got physically close. Then at least you made some sound to alert me. But following that, you let me direct her hand to your dick, and become an intimate part of our exchange.
She was a part of what eventually got you off. She and I were both a part of evoking that whole load of cum that you shot in her face. Because jealousy got a grip on me, I meant to defame, degrade, and demean her. But in the end, I essentially invited her in for tea! I don’t know if I knocked her out because I was angry at her, due to jealously, or if it was because I was angry at myself!”
“Lori? Don’t beat yourself up over this. As you pointed out, I’ve got some accountability to share in this whole thing too. Quite a bit.”
“Cowboy, I’m just freaked. I thought that we loved each other. That we didn’t need anybody but each other, but still, you let that little slut through the door into our liaison, and I coaxed her almost completely into our bedroom! What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“Calm down Sweetheart! You’re letting childhood crazy concepts, and morals, tear you apart. Maybe what we need to be doing is looking at this from our own perspective; a nonjudgmental perspective, and maybe a perspective that you nor I have ever consciously considered. I probably don’t really know what the fuck I’m talking about, but here goes. Are you ready?”
“Talk to me Cowboy. I can’t think, but I can listen.”
“Lori consider this. I didn’t, and still don’t, know a fucking thing about that little blonde librarian. You didn’t either, except for her shoes, which turned out to be misleading. But honestly, yes, I was physically attracted to her. Was I mentally attracted to her? Not likely. Spiritually attracted to her? Not at all! So, it was just physical.
That doesn’t meet the level of being in love with someone, nor even wanting to associate with them, let alone, spending time in deep conversation with them. Sharing my thoughts with them? No! Sharing my heart with them? Out of the question! Wanting to become one with them in a spiritual way? Not in this life!
All it means is there was a physical attraction! Period! Raw, physical, get my nut off on this bitch, physical! That was it! What you said about the “princess syndrome”, just turned a key in my mind! There is a world of difference between, say me feeling lust for the physical body of that library girl, and me being drawn to your very essence and soul to become one with you. A world of fucking difference.”
“Cowboy, I sorta see what you’re talking about, but at the same time, I’m struggling with my mental concept of one man, one woman, physically, mentally, and spiritually. But then I’ve had these conflicts! I don’t know what the fuck to think!”
“Let me just roll something else by you, right quick, and then I think it best we just let this whole matter sleep, at least until we get a better grasp on what is going on within us in its totality.”
“Go ahead Cowboy. You can’t do or say anything that will confuse me anymore than I’m already feeling.”
“Lori, please don’t get pissed off at what I am about to say, and please understand, that what I am about to speak of, is just a loose theory on my part. I’m not making accusations. I’m not judging. I’m just throwing out something for you to consider. You okay with that?”
“Yes. Sure.”, she replied in a hesitant voice.
“I need you to also know, that anyway that you come out on this, that I’m going to be okay with it. I’m going to love you just the same, no matter what. Do you understand the unconditional terms that I’m laying out here?”
“I think so Cowboy, but if I don’t, when the time comes, just slap me and make me understand.”
“Okay, I won’t slap you, but there is an even bigger risk here. Lori, I saw, and heard, the way that you seduced that library girl into our liaison. I know that you wanted to wreak vengeance on her for ignoring you, and coming on to your man, and generally dissing you. I know that you were angry, and that you wanted to hurt her. Not kill her! But definitely hurt her.”
“Yep. That’s for sure!”, Lori responded.
“I also heard, and saw, the way, that you, kept hypnotically, whispering her in; coaxing her, like a fish on a line. You kept telling her “Closer! Don’t you want the secret, so that you can get the cock? Closer.” Close enough for you to tell her that my cock was your cock, didn’t require that you get her so close that her tits were touching your chest. Close enough to smack the living shit out of her, didn’t require that your and her breasts be mashed into each other, and that her ear was totally against your lips, and her body pressed in against yours.
Or, that your right hand, yes it caught sight of it, was on her ass pulling her in to you.” I went silent for a few seconds, and when Lori tried to speak, I put my hand over her mouth, and I could feel in my fingertips, her retreat from speaking. When I knew that she wouldn’t interrupt, I began again.
“Lori, I think that if you haven’t already considered it, and I know that you probably have, that you should consider, or maybe recognize, that you have bisexual tendencies. You also need to know that I’m okay with that. I don’t feel threatened by it, or turned off by it, at all. At this point, I know, and feel in my gut, and am willing to trust, that I am the one person that you love in this world. If you are physically attracted to another woman, I understand that too.”
“What I hope is, that you understand that I feel the same way about you about everything else. You are the one person that I love in this whole world, no matter who, or what I may find physically attractive. What I think actually happened in this instance at the library, was that yes you got jealous of the attractive, library girl, with the big tits, coming on to me. And, this isn’t easy for me to admit either, but yes, I found her attractive, in a physical way. And in addition to you being jealous of all that, you were attracted to her too.
And, honestly, I think that’s why things went the way they did.” At that point, Lori reached out with both of her hands and grabbed mine, squeezing them as hard as I imagined that she could. Then she put her face down to the table, and continued to hold my hands tightly. I resumed telling her what had surfaced in my mind.
“It wasn’t that we don’t love each other, Lori. It wasn’t that our spirits aren’t joined at whatever spirits have to join with. We both know that it wasn’t because we aren’t physically drawn to each other like fucking super magnets. It was just because, maybe, that’s the way we’re made.
And if that’s the way we’re made Lori, then that’s the way I’ll love you, now, and forever.”
“Lori, I love you. I’m in love with you. That’s never going to change. And I hope, with all my heart, that you love me in the same way. Can you understand and acknowledge that for me?” She raised her head. Tears were streaming down her face. She held my hands in a squeeze that was tighter than ever.
“Cowboy, no one has ever known me like you do, nor loved me like you love me. Not even my Dad, and that’s saying a hell’uva lot! I can’t deny anything that you’ve said. Not one thing. Oh my God! I can’t believe that you would still love me.” She fell silent for at least a couple of minutes, if not more.
“Lori, there’s one more thing. I’ve never been in quite the situation that this was today, where two women were so comfortable with touching and sharing their intimacy with each other, even if you did want to bust her face. And, you would think that I would probably not like the woman I love, to be in the middle of that kind of scenario. But, honestly, while I was feeling that I shouldn’t be liking it, I actually found that I did.
I liked it more than I was comfortable with. Which is also a big contributor to my uneasiness right now. I don’t know if I should be ashamed of being turned on by it, or just accept that I actually liked it. We’ve got some sorting to do Lori, and whatever I can do to help sort it for us, I want you to know that I’m willing, and here for you.”
Lori was silent for a minute, and then spoke very quietly but deliberately, “Cowboy, I need you to cum in my face! I need to even things out with that titty girl.”
“Lori, it’s going to be okay.”, I told her.
“I want you to cum in my face.”, she said firmly. “I need that! I need you to cum in my face!”, she said excitedly, with her voice growing even louder.
“Lori, it’s okay!”, I tried to assure her.
“Cowboy! I’ve got to have this to balance things with myself!”, she practically shouted. And then before I could respond, she did shout out, “I really need you to cum in my face! All over my face! Across my eyes, my nose, my lips! I need to have your cum dripping off of my chin! Then, I can feel what I’m supposed feel like! Don’t you understand Cowboy? I don’t just want! I need! I need you to shoot loads of your cum, all over my face!”
