“People tend to grasp at faith, Gene. You can’t fault them all for that.”
“Oh, I can too fucking fault them. Their faith allows them to ignore conscious reasoning in return for ‘knowing’ something is true, something passed down through lore.”
“Still, if they want to think that way you shouldn’t stop them. Sometimes people find it easier to make it through life through the guise of ignorance. Ignorance—”
“Ignorance is bliss, I know. I have heard that statement too many times to forget it, Wallace. And it’s not true. Give me the truth and I’ll let myself sulk in it if I have to. Lies just fester and the bliss that comes of it, in my mind, isn’t worth shit.”
So bitter. He was going off the rails. He grew angry. Not Ire angry, just irritated by the things from his past involving religion. Still, hearing him talk angry made him a human to me again, for a human has real emotions. Eating another human is not a real emotion. It should not even be in our vocabulary.
“It’s just as Jack used to say.”
Gene abruptly became quiet before turning off the car shortly thereafter. He flung open the door and walked away from the car before stopping at and sitting on a badly deteriorated picnic table against a row of pine trees. The moonlight provided the image to me.
I walked over to him. “Gene? What’s wrong?”
He looked in one direction in the sky and then to another and then back to the original. He was distraught. He couldn’t hide his bucket of tears from me any longer, the moisture quickly creating a monsoon on his face.
“He was taken from me. I loved him, Wallace. Jack was everything to me. The world meant something with him in it.”
This was new territory. I had little wisdom in the field of love, even less in the field of love lost. I had to try something. “Can I sit down too?” I asked.
“Go ahead.”
The wood beneath my butt was moist and very weak. It was most assured to snap with the weight of two forty-something men on its surface.
“How did you two meet?”
“Me and Jack?”
“Yes. If you aren’t able to talk about it I understand.”
He hesitated, telling me it was a possibility that he had trouble mentioning Jack or his history with his late husband.
“College. Well, about to head to college. We saw each other in our senior visits to the U of M in Minneapolis. We didn’t know each other’s sexuality, just liked the other’s looks. We had a few classes together and then found out we were after the same major. History. It kind of took off from there. We’d go to the annual campus barbecue together, spend nights together, all that fun stuff. I got a job at a high school in Sartell. History, of course. Jack was just finishing up his Master’s Degree at St. John’s. We adopted a baby boy named William, three months old.”
“I never hear you speak about your kid,” I interrupted.
“It was sad, yes, but he was only our kid about two months before the Ire hit. You can call me cold and callous if you want, Wallace, but I will always hurt more over the loss of Jack than the baby we hardly got to know.”
“I wouldn’t call you cold, Gene.”
“Right, because the universe Jack and I shared for seven years was far beyond the universe of us with a child. We were looking forward to it, though. I remember that day.”
Gene again became choked up, ready to admit something he’d obviously buried deep enough to purposefully forget.
“I was off work that day. I was going to take William with me to the bank to talk to the loan officer about the mortgage we wanted. Lindsay her name was, I think. We were about a month away from closing on that beautiful house in St. Cloud. Jack was the one who set it all up. He was kind of organized like that. He enjoyed it. Jack insisted I leave William at home with him while I head to the bank because he’d been up crying all night and possibly needed a daytime nap. I agreed. It didn’t feel right. I don’t know, maybe the Ire was building in all of us. Did you feel different that morning?”
“Me? Gene, I can’t remember.”
“Try to remember. Please.”
“I was going to class when I saw all these people killing each other. Then I was killing people. I don’t remember feeling anything weird before that. I’ve heard it through many accounts before, like it was a warning from our own psyches to be alone for a while. I chock that up to wishful thinking, however.”
“I wish for many things. I wish William were with me that day instead of with Jack. Maybe I could have saved him like I saved myself.”
“Are you forgetting?” I said.
“Forgetting what?”
“Gene, think. If William were with you that day nineteen years ago, he would have likely been your first victim. Age means nothing to the Ire. You would have killed him, just as Jack probably killed him.”
Gene punched me very hard in the cheek, sending me to the ground beside the picnic table in a dizzied state. I would not fight back, as I’d pushed a button which should have remained untouched.
“No, Wallace! I can’t go on thinking like that!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It slipped, Gene. Forgive me. Please.”
He punched me again before jumping on top of me and laying blow after blow upon me. I looked in his eyes as he did, wondering what was happening. Had we lost our special bond that prevented the Ire between us? Was I going to die?
No. His eyes were normal, not dead like the eyes of the Ired. Also, I didn’t feel a hint of the Ire as he beat me up. He finally fell to his backside as I lay on my back, blood dripping from my nose and the sides of my mouth. I hurt but I hardly cared.
“Wallace,” Gene softly said as he kept his arms wrapped around his legs while sitting and looking at the ground. “Is there any chance you’ll forgive me for that?”
“Forget it,” I said, not exactly forgiving him.
“I can’t take the idea of Jack ever hurting anybody. He would never hurt that baby. And yet...little doubt remains that he did kill William. Being reminded of such a thing always sets me off. I killed many people trying to get rid of that nightmare. It worked. Well, for a while it worked.” He quietly began to cry again. “I just wish I knew Jack was still alive. That’s all I want. It’s not fair, Wallace. I was happy and it was stolen from me.”
I could have returned with my own sob story, the one I’d relayed thousands of times in my head but had told only two others since the Ire. No point. I wasn’t the one crying here, thus I didn’t need to trade woes with Gene. He needed consoled.
But Gene had already started to head back to the car. It was strange because his actions at the time seemed too erratic, not on par with somebody who traditionally breaks down from past trauma. I followed him there.
“Gene, talk to me.”
He remained at the back of the car saying nothing and looking at the tail end.
“Do you feel a person nearby? Super-Ire, Gene?”
“No,” he solemnly and quietly stated as he stared forward. “Because of that day, the day the Ire happened, I had to find an outlet. I found it in killing. I found my solace in death. I enjoyed getting bitten by the Ire after that day.”
“This isn’t news to me,” I said. “I’ve known of your liking of that for at least a week now.”
Gene turned his head to me and gave me a weakened, sullied grin before turning his head back to the car. He unlatched the trunk and let the lid open by itself. The smell’s mystery was solved. Inside the car were three corpses, one man’s body with an arm and both legs severed and missing. And each had several gashes taken from its flesh, each covered in blood and fatal wounds, and each smelling worse than anything in the universe.
Mired in a cornucopia of fear, confusion, dismay, and nausea, I immediately ran a short distance away to land on my knees and vomit my entire stomach away. I then did it again, not a drop of food left in me anymore. I wept as I did it, as I was seeing the monster in Gene all over again.
“Wallace,” he suddenly said behind me
.
I jumped back and stared up at him from the ground. I was speechless once more.
“I’m not hiding anything anymore. After you left, I did search for you. But I also followed my nose. I smelled people around. The urge was there, Wallace, so I had to submit. I have been feeding off these bodies for a few days. And before you ask, I will tell you I eat even when I do not feel the Ire. It isn’t an addiction, it’s just who I am now.”
“Why?” I struggled to get out.
“Because Jack was taken from me! Because my life was ruined by the Ire! If the Ire wants it, the Ire can have my life at full force!”
My life with Gene was a cycle. I saw it now. Happiness and brotherhood one minute, dread and loathing the next. It was vertigo-inducing. And I did not know what to do. Again. Never in my years on Earth had I known such indecision with myself. The answer should have been much clearer. I needed to rid myself of Gene completely. But as was the case before, I opted to brush it off. One aim: get him to Oklahoma.
“Come on,” I said.
“I know you hate me, Wallace.”
“Nope. We’re going to Oklahoma. But first, for me, please remove the bodies. The smell, Gene.”
“Very well.” He smiled innocently.
~~~~
Chapter 22
Developments
It was a little drive before we stopped for the night to sleep a few hours. Then back to the road. Dawn met us with the sign Manchester 5 Mi, meaning the town of Manchester, Oklahoma, was only five miles from us. The border. The place where we were heading.
“Any idea which development Pauline is in?” I asked him, wondering why he had never found that out himself earlier.
“No.”
“Gene, call your sister and find out. Otherwise, it’s a needle in a haystack.”
“I like the journey of the search, Wallace.”
“This isn’t about fun, Gene! You wanted to find her and save her, not enjoy the scenery of looking for her. You will fucking park this car in Manchester and contact your fucking sister! Got it?”
He said nothing.
“Got it, Gene?”
He nodded.
We stopped in Manchester, a town appearing to be straight out of old post-nuclear films. The buildings, unlike the ones we’d been in before, were almost all badly burned, some of them down to the foundation. No color, no life, just remains. It bothered me, for there seemed to be no reason behind it.
“Unusual,” Gene said as he picked up his cell.
“I know. Like the town was attacked.”
“Not that. My cell.”
“What about it?” I asked.
“I haven’t even looked at the thing since the Ire between us fled. Maybe I should have.”
“Why?”
He put the cell up near my face. Thirteen missed calls from Pauline, all in the last two days.
“What the fuck, Gene?”
I could see him begin to panic, mildly shaking his head back and forth.
“I don’t know, I was so entrenched in the no Ire thing with us that I must have forgotten. I neglected. It’s my sister, Wallace. My sister! She’s...she’s in trouble. I know she is.”
“Stop rambling and call her now, Gene.”
He finally listened, calling her on the speaker so I could hear the conversation too.
“Is this Eugene?” the small, high voice said without a picture on the screen.
“This is him, baby girl,” Gene said. “Eugene is here. Pauline, are you okay?”
“I love you, Eugene.”
“Love you too, Paul girl.” Gene’s voice was wobbly, his nerves at their worst. “Show me your picture, Pauline. Please show me you’re well.”
“I love you, Eugene. I love you.”
“Answer me, baby girl. Just answer me and use your cell to show me. Just follow through and we’ll be fine.”
“I called you, Eugene. You never answered. I thought you would answer.” Each word sounded like Pauline were as distant as the moon. She wasn’t all there. “I wanted to tell you what I saw. I saw everything, Eugene. If you say it, I saw it.”
“Please, just start the screen, Pauline. For me? Your brother bear?”
“Oh brother bear, I saw everything. I wanted to tell you but you wouldn’t answer.”
I madly stole the cell from Gene’s hand. “Listen to me, Pauline,” I sternly said. “We need to know the name of your development.”
“Two of you?” she said in a very out-of-body manner, as though her mouth said things her brain wasn’t telling her. “How could that be?”
I was adamant. “Give us the name of your development, Pauline. You can tell Gene what you saw later. We need to find you.”
“His name is Eugene and you are a stranger. But you sound a lot like him. Jack did too. Is this Jack Rabbit?”
“She used to call him that,” Gene said to me in a quick sidebar.
“I picked up on that,” I returned, frustrated. “This is not Jack. All we need is your development. The development, Pauline.”
“Lovely.” Her voice mimicked that of a 1960’s flower child strung out on all pleasant vices at once. “Are you going to come see me, Eugene? I ate the Flegtide and it tasted remaaaaarkable! I talked to people, Eugene. Face. To. Face. I think I may have fucked one of the men I met. And I never wanted to kill any of them. I love the Flegtide.”
The panic in Gene rapidly escalated. He was hearing the words he had dreaded all along, and the whole reason behind our trip to Oklahoma suddenly appeared lost. His lip quivered and eyes watered while his hands trembled greatly. He stared at me.
“Gene?” I said.
“Tell me it’s not too late, Wallace.”
“Who is Wallace?” Pauline said over the cell.
“Tell me.”
“Gene, she’s still alive. It’s not too late.”
“Pauline,” Gene said in a quick reversal of focus thanks to my answer. “Tell me this very second where your development is. I need to know so I can find you.”
The conversation went from ‘we’ to ‘I’. Oh well.
“Eugene, I’m where I’ve always been. In Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain.” She sang badly.
“I know Oklahoma, Pauline. Where?”
“And the waves and wheats sure do smell real sweet. I want to sing about Oklahoma.”
“Where?”
“I want to sing about my place in Oklahoma. Lovely place. Lovely, lovely. Oklahoma, where Mount Scott rises up above the plain!”
“Pauline!” Gene became furious. “Tell me!”
“Goodbye, Eugene,” she gleefully said before ending the call.
“No!”
“Calm down,” I said.
“Fuck you, Wallace! We didn’t get her location. Goddamn it!”
I shuffled through the papers in the glove box to find the map of Oklahoma we’d found the previous day. Pauline gave the name of a place, Mount Scott. I didn’t know whether that was the name of a town or a mountain or maybe even some cemetery. I searched that map left and right, front and back—it only had one side—and even upside down to find to Mount Scott. I searched again and then again before throwing the map out the window of the car in frustration.
Both Gene and I took a minute to regain our thoughts outside the car in a steady rain. I tried to play it cool, certainly cooler than my haphazardly volatile friend.
“Where?” Gene rang out abruptly.
“I’m looking.”
“Where, Wallace? I tried calling her back three times and she isn’t answering. What was the name of the mountain she said?”
“I’ve already been looking for it on the map, Gene.”
“What was the name?”
“Scott. Mount Scott.”
“Find Mount Scott.”
He wasn’t even listening to me anymore. The tunnel in his mind had no light at its end, and I was the one who had to reside in its darkness.
I picked up the map, as wet as it had beco
me, and took it back in the dry car with me to search more. I combed that enormous piece of paper so many times my eyes began to bulge. There was a much easier way to do this, a way I’d not thought of until this minute. I reached into the pocket of the passenger door to pull out my cell, the one I hadn’t touched since the wall crumbled on top of me.
“What are you doing?” Gene asked me as he sat in the car.
“We’re idiots, the both of us.”
“I didn’t ask what we are, Wallace. I asked what you’re doing.”
“Gene, we have access to every development on record. With that, we have access to the names in the developments. The Succinct Figures Chart.”
“No.” So abrupt.
“No? Gene, this will end the search.”
“No because I already tried that. Many, many times. She kept her development secret from me because she knew I would come find her. Even now, during that call, you heard how little she wants found. Every opting survivor has the option to list their information on the Chart and she chose not to, just her name. I searched the Chart day in and day out before we set for Oklahoma with no luck at all. I knew once we got here it would be a game of chance.”
“Or we could just think, Gene.”
“Pardon me?”
“As you went on about that woeful situation, I took it upon myself to search Mount Scott on my cell. Fort Sill Development. Come on, let’s go.”
“Wait, Wallace.” Gene grabbed my arm. “Why didn’t you do that before?”
“Because I forgot, okay? Now let’s be gone to get your sister in Fort Sill Development.”
I have no clue why Gene was so upset with me. I thought fast, or at least fast enough at the moment, to find the needle in that haystack. It produced a gaze of strong derision from my friend, whose eyes appeared to be saying ‘how dare you find her before me’. That translated into silence as he began to drive.
“Cut this shit out, Gene,” I ordered him. “Whatever you’re thinking, think otherwise and just drive. We’re going to find Pauline. Just try to remain in the south-southeast direction.” What a tool.
~~~~
The Populace Page 14
