Now, as I sit here tonight, I’m wondering how you would react to my reaction. I wish I could ask you. Would you be surprised? Would you trust me enough to let me whisk you away without any warning? Or would it scare you to find out I want you so badly?
That’s right, Portia baby. I want you more than you could possibly know. Everyday I’m tempted to give in, to show you exactly how I feel, but I gave my word that I wouldn’t. If I’d have known at the time who you were and how I’d connect with you, I’d have never spoken such a vow. But I did, so I’ll honor that promise because doing so will keep you safer from the evils that taint my life for that much longer. For now, I’ll be content to bask in your innocence and to watch you from afar. But only for now, Portia . . .
***
Restlessly, I tossed in my bed, trying to find a comfortable spot where my thoughts wouldn’t plague me so badly. Week after week, it was the same thing. Hearing her. Longing for her. Wanting to be with her, somehow, anyway, just to have her as a part of my life.
She was driving me crazy. The more I learned about her, the harder I fell. It was insane—impossible. We’d never even spoken to each other. I continued to act like she didn’t exist when, in reality, everything inside me had become hyper-aware of her. I’d forced myself to shift away from her, erecting defensive walls to try and keep her personal musings out of my head. It was difficult to be so intimately connected with someone all the time. It took awhile, but I finally mastered some control over it. Now, I could put barriers up or take them down at will, unless she was having a very powerful emotion.
Her sudden cry caused me to bolt from my bed. Quickly, I threw some shoes on, grabbing my jacket as I bolted out the door. I easily found my bike in the moonlight and I jumped on, started the engine, and took off down the road.
Something was wrong. I knew moments of surprise would break through—fear and attraction. Usually the attraction was geared toward me, but there had been thoughts of others that snuck in here and there. It annoyed me when it happened, because I’m competitive, but I couldn’t fault her—it wasn’t like she had any clue I was into her at all.
The night air whipped heavily across my face, causing me to squint as I drove, watery tears leaking out the corners of my eyes from the force. I didn’t slow down. Her fear raced through me, causing my own heart rate to accelerate.
“Hang on! I’m coming!” I replied mentally to her call, even though she couldn’t hear me. Yet, strangely, I felt her nerves calm a bit, almost in response. “Don’t be afraid,” I said again.
The few short minutes it took for me to get to her street seemed like ages. I parked around the corner from her house, shutting off my motorcycle. Creeping around from behind, her home was dark and everything appeared as it should for the middle of the night. I’d been here a few times before to meet with her dad, when she hadn’t been home. I knew exactly where her bedroom window was.
Using magic, I noiselessly scaled the wall surrounding their adobe-style home, landing easily inside the well-manicured yard with its rock landscaping, shady trees, barbeque pit, and sitting area bordered by flowerbeds. I used my powers again to climb the wall and grab the sill, peering into her bedroom.
My heart rate calmed significantly when I saw her asleep, tangled in her covers. She was all right—only having a nightmare.
Lowering myself down to the ground, I made my way to one of the benches and slouched down on it. Running a hand across my face, I sighed heavily.
“What are you doing here?” I asked myself. What if something had been going on? Me, rushing into her room from outside her house, would terrify her. I couldn’t barge in without any warning. She knew nothing about me, even though I knew her so well.
Remnants of her nightmare flashed in my head—bits of fog, labored breathing as she ran, casting terrified glances over her shoulder.
“Portia,” I called out her. “Relax. It’s just a dream.”
“A dream,” her breathy sigh responded and I instantly straightened, feeling her mind immediately become calm.
“Can you hear me?” I asked, fingers curling heavily around the metal bench. I waited, with bated breath, for some sort of response and then suddenly realized I was bending the metal with my heated grip. Immediately, I released it, commanding my glowing hands to return to normal; before allowing a small flame to dance at the end of my index finger, illuminating the area so I could survey the damage. Thankfully, it didn’t look too bad. Hopefully no one would notice.
My attention turned back to her window.
“Can you hear me?” I asked again, but there was nothing—not a thought or emotion. She appeared to be fast asleep.
It was obvious everything was fine. There was no reason for me to stay—even though I wished I could—even though I silently hoped she’d catch me by surprise and I’d be forced to explain my presence. Reluctantly, I made my way back over the wall and headed home.
---
There were a few weeks of peace before her screams began shattering my nights again. After the first time, I was prepared, having researched and coming up with several spells to help with nightmares. I wasn’t sure exactly how big of an effect they’d have on her, since the lines regarding her identity were a bit blurry. A human mind, without any magical gift, was much easier to affect than the mind of a witch. Technically, Portia was a witch—or at least she would be soon. I didn’t know what that meant right now, though. Would her mind be easier to manipulate because she hadn’t come into her powers yet? Or would it be even harder to influence due to her heritage? There was only one way to find out.
It wasn’t long before I was kneeling outside her window inside a circle of salt that I’d scattered around the entire circumference of her house to purify the area. This spell would’ve been much more effective if I had her involvement in it, but since that wasn’t a possibility, I was going to have to adjust things as best I could. She needed to be inside the circle in order for it to work, so around the house it went. Lighting a pure white candle with my finger, I lifted it, holding it out to the moon.
“I humbly call upon the deities,
To help purify and relieve agony.
In the serene light of the moon,
Remove her from this trapped tomb.
Let Portia’s nightmares cease,
And let her mind find peace.
This I ask, and this I bind.
So Mote It Be.”
The salt circle burst into instantaneous flames before almost immediately burning out, leaving no trace of the circle behind. Immediately, I felt Portia’s mind relax, her restlessness drifting away.
A small smile crossed my face. It appeared the spell had worked . . . at least for now. I made my way to the bench and sat, staring at her window. This girl was special. There was no doubt about it. I wasn’t sure what the nightmares meant, or why we had the connection we did; but I was eager to find out. The more time I spent in her head, the more I fell for her and wanted to protect her.
I was fairly certain she would be interested in knowing me better as well. After all, I was able to hear her private thoughts concerning me, so that kind of took the fear out of asking her out. The answer would be yes. She daydreamed about it—and so did I.
Leaving the yard, I strapped my belongings into one of the pouches on my bike. Now, if there were only someway to speed up time. I thought about the calendar on the wall in my bedroom, each day filled with a giant X, as I slowly crossed them off one by one, counting down to her birthday.
I’d keep my word to her dad until then, but after that, all bets were off.
Chapter Six
Several months later
Journal Entry:
It’s finally here. Today is Portia’s sixteenth birthday.
***
Leaning against my motorcycle, I tried to remain calm when I saw Shelly’s outrageous pink Mustang convertible pull into the parking lot. Today was Portia’s birthday. Would anything be different between us? Would she feel me the sam
e way I could feel her? I was both excited and terrified to find out. What if nothing changed? What if she told me to get lost?
I’d made up my mind not to try and approach her mentally. I didn’t want to scare her and I knew her parents hadn’t told her anything yet. She wasn’t aware of it, but she would be introduced to the coven this evening. As of tonight, she’d know all the secrets I’d been hiding from her too…well, some of them anyway. Would she still find me attractive afterward?
She was smiling as she exited the vehicle, visiting with Shelly and waving to people who called out happy birthday greetings to her. I didn’t take my eyes off her, watching the girls as they made their way through the parking lot.
A bit disheartened, I couldn’t tell if anything was different between us. Shelly tipped her head and whispered something to Portia, who immediately glanced right at me. My initial instinct was to look away; I’d been doing it for so long, it was practically a habit. But today was the day I’d been waiting for. I wanted her to know I was interested.
She stumbled slightly and Shelly caught her before she could fall any further. Portia glanced at me one more time, her cheeks reddening before she flew into the building. I couldn’t help but smile as I gathered my things and headed toward the school, feeling more relaxed than I had since I’d moved here.
Sedona was still home. I hadn’t had to leave, thanks to the efforts of the coven and Sean laying false trails to be followed. Now, the girl I couldn’t get out of my head was ripe for the picking; and believe me, I intended to pick.
Nervous energy coursed through me all morning and it showed physically. I was reprimanded for bouncing my pencil on my books, or tapping my foot repeatedly during enforced quiet times in class. I couldn’t help it, though. The desire to sneak inside her mind and see if she could hear me was overwhelming. I had to force myself not to. There was no way I was messing this up—not after this long.
When lunchtime arrived, I left campus and went home to grab a sandwich, even though I was tempted to go look for her. I wanted to wait—to approach her tonight. If I could get a few moments alone with her, maybe we could talk a little.
Glancing at the clock, I groaned. It was official. Tonight would never get here because this day was going to last forever.
---
The bell rang. Finally. I grabbed my jacket and headed to the door, eager to dispel some of the building energy inside me.
“Mr. Mangum?” the teacher called, bringing me to a halt. I swung around to look at her. I liked Ms. Costner. She was a good teacher and easy on the eyes too, which always seemed to make science a bit more enjoyable.
“Yes?”
She waited until the last of the students had left the room. “Are you doing okay, today? You seem a bit jumpy or something, which is unusual for you. I wanted to make sure everything is all right.”
I grinned. “Thanks. I’m doing fine. Just anxious to meet with someone this evening.”
“Oh,” she said, surprise lighting her eyes. “You have a date then? Who’s the lucky girl?”
I shook my head. “Not a date exactly, but someone I’ve been looking forward to hanging out with for a while now.”
She clasped her hands in front of her and smiled. “Well then, don’t let me keep you. I hope you have a great time.”
“Thanks,” I replied, continuing out the door and down the hall. Again, the temptation to slip into Portia’s mind pressed me. I refused to give in. There was no way I could know if she’d feel that intrusion. I needed to be patient for a little while longer. This was nothing compared to the last two years.
Rounding the corner toward my locker, someone collided with me, causing me to fall back a couple of steps as several items crashed and banged along the floor.
“Why don’t you watch where you’re going?”
I’d recognize that voice anywhere. It had been haunting me for two years. Glancing down at the object of my affection, I watched her long black hair swaying about as she scrambled to retrieve her things. She really was a tiny slip of a girl, but man—she was beautiful.
“Hey, now. You ran into me,” I replied, eagerly awaiting her reaction.
She froze solid for a moment before slowly allowing her gaze to travel over me—starting with my shoes and working her way to my face. Giving a noticeable gulp, she replied. “Sorry.”
The breathy word wreaked havoc on my senses and I had to force myself to try and contain my excitement as I sank to her level. True, this wasn’t the way I’d planned for things to go down, but I wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass me by.
“Where were you going in such a hurry?” I asked, lifting one of the books she’d dropped and handing it to her, unable to stop my gaze from raking across her.
She sighed, glancing through the glass door behind me. “I was trying to catch the bus. I forgot my friend Shelly had to leave early today.”
“Ah.” So she didn’t have a ride home? This was even better than I thought! I continued to help her gather her things before standing and offering her a hand. While I’d like to think it was a gentlemanly thing for me to do, I knew I merely wanted an excuse to touch her. She studied it for a brief moment and, as soon as she slipped her palm against mine, it was as if an electric jolt shot right through my arm. I pulled her to her feet, wondering if she’d felt it too.
“I can give you a ride.” Holding my breath, I waited for her reply; but she didn’t respond at all, only stared at me with her wide, dark eyes. Grasping at straws, I continued. “Of course, if you’re afraid of motorcycles . . .”
“No,” she replied quickly. “Not at all. I’d be happy to accept a ride.”
“Great.” I couldn’t keep the wide smile from spreading across my face. So much for playing it cool. I probably looked like a grinning idiot. Before I could do any more damage to my reputation, I strode past her, heading toward the doors at the opposite end of the hallway that led to the student parking lot. I didn’t wait to see if she followed, but I could hear her shoes hurrying along behind me.
When I reached my motorcycle, I removed my helmet from where I left it on the back seat and handed it to her. “Safety first.”
“What about you?” she asked, taking it.
“I’ll be fine.” I wasn’t really worried about her safety, either. I was a warlock with healing powers. If anything happened to her, there was a good chance I could fix it. But that being said, my philosophy was better safe than sorry. “Hop on behind me and hang on around my waist,” I instructed. Yeah, baby. This is going to be fun. I thought.
She struggled a bit, trying to adjust the helmet strap, so I helped her tighten it appropriately. She looked so cute wearing my gear. “There you go. Perfect.” I hoped I wasn’t staring at her too much. Looking away, I kick started the engine.
She scooted on behind me and slid her arms around me. I closed my eyes for a second, thinking about how much I’d enjoy feeling this connection everyday. It was crazy to be this close to her after all the time I’d forced myself to stay away. I glanced down, noticing her feet were still on the ground and gestured for her to put them on the pegs behind mine. As soon as she was settled, I couldn’t stop myself from gunning the engine as we took off. Yes, it bordered showing off, but I didn’t want her to forget this moment either.
I was so caught up in having her wrapped around me that I completely forgot to ask her for directions to her house. Sure, I’d been there too many times to count; but she didn’t know that. We’d never even spoken before this. I was going to seem like a total stalker now.
She quickly hopped off and struggled again with the strap. I helped her once more, taking the helmet from her while she rapidly ran her fingers through her hair, a blush spreading across her face. I couldn’t help staring. She was gorgeous.
“Thanks for the lift.”
“No problem,” I replied, truly sorry I couldn’t think of another reason to keep her standing here talking to me.
“Well, I guess I’ll catch you later then
.”
I nodded, wishing I could tell her I’d see her tonight. She turned and hurried up the sidewalk.
“Hey!” I called after her and she paused to glance around. “Happy birthday!” I flashed her another smile before gunning the engine and taking off down the road.
---
Entering the stadium from the direction of the locker rooms, I stopped to lean against the fence near the concession stand, observing everyone milling around. Sporting events were something I rarely attended. First, I always wished I could play; but my “special abilities” kept things from being fair to the other athletes. Also, I was usually trying to stay away from interactions with other people, not getting to know them better. That excluded me from most of the social events that went on. If I wasn’t hanging around, then people wouldn’t be noticing me all the time. I’d blend into the background more easily.
Today was apparently the day I was going to start breaking all those self-imposed rules. I’d struggled with my desire to see Portia again after this afternoon. Knowing she’d be at this game was eating me alive. I didn’t want anyone to think it was odd for me to suddenly show up at one of these things, but I couldn’t seem to make myself wait until this evening to see her. Now that the ice between us had been broken, I was unable to stay away.
The crowd in the stands went crazy about a play on the field and then it was halftime. People began pouring out and heading toward the concession stand.
I spotted her immediately. Her black hair reminded me of something sleek and shiny, like the glossy sheened feathers on a raven. It hung straight, almost like an ancient Egyptian princess, giving her kind of an exotic look. The color of her hair made her dark eyes pop against her pale skin. They were big and seemed almost fathomless when I’d stared into them earlier today, but there was warmth in them also. She wasn’t a person hiding deep secrets—she was a girl who wore her heart on her sleeve. I’d easily learned that about her from listening to her thoughts. I loved the way her tiny nose turned up so sweetly at the end and how her lips curved when she smiled and laughed.
Fire & Ice (Book of Shadows) (Volume 1) Page 4
