by L. A. Fiore
“Now for the fight you’ve all been waiting for. Damian isn’t one for pageantry so let’s just get on with it.”
“Damian is so hot. I’m going after that.”
My head snapped around to the skanky chick who was eyeing my boy. He wasn’t really mine, but I definitely saw him first.
“Me too, let’s make it a party,” her equally slutty friend purred as they high-fived each other while I battled the overwhelming need to yank their hair, hard. My heart pounded even as jealousy burned through me and my stomach clenched when Damian and the kid started to fight, bare knuckle, no holds barred. The kid moved around a lot, he was tall and lanky and had fast hands that repeatedly nailed Damian in the face and gut, but it was Damian I couldn’t pull my eyes from. He took the hits, like someone manning up to take his punishment, and yet the brutal attack didn’t seem to have any effect on him. He moved with deliberateness and control that made him look almost possessed. I had the sense that who he fought wasn’t what he fought. And when he struck, he was fast with so much behind his punches the other guy stumbled backwards from the bone-jarring hits. His opponent got in a double punch, one that halted Damian’s forward momentum and jerked his head back. He wiped at his nose and looked at the blood before turning his focus back on the one he fought. If I’d been that dude, I would have run away because Damian looked positively lethal—the sight of his blood only fired him up more. The fight lasted no more than ten minutes before Damian caught the guy under the jaw with a punch so vicious he was airborne before landing in a heap on the dirty cement floor. Damian stood in the center of the circle as his fans cheered his victory and he looked totally and completely alone. Cam and Anton appeared. Not alone, I liked that…a lot. They talked for a few minutes before shaking hands. Cam and Anton left together and when I turned my focus back on Damian he was gone. Before I could scan the crowd for him, a hand wrapped around mine...one with cuts and blood on the knuckles. It was Damian and he looked pissed.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
My heart hurt seeing his face—a cut near his left eye, blood smeared down his cheek and a blooming bruise on his jaw. “I heard you and Cam talking. I was curious.”
He had been walking me toward the exit but those words stopped him. His feet sort of rooted themselves to the concrete floor as his head turned in my direction. “So you walked here alone?”
“It wasn’t far.”
That wasn’t the right answer apparently because he hissed between his teeth. It wasn’t an actual word, just a release of frustration.
He started toward the exit again. “What are you fighting when you are out there?”
We had just reached the stairs when he pulled me behind them and pressed me up against the wall. “Come again?”
“When you fight, what are you fighting?”
“Not who am I fighting?”
“No, your opponent isn’t what you’re fighting.”
He leaned in and lowered his head to look me right in the eyes. “How do you know that?”
I gently wiped the blood from his face. “I know you.”
He had the strangest reaction to that. He closed his eyes, like he was in pain, and lowered his forehead to my shoulder. “This can’t happen.”
Those words caused a chill to move right down my spine. He was wrong. It totally could and should happen. “Why not?”
He lifted his head and for the first time I saw so much more in those eyes. “Cam is a good friend and your parents are like my own.”
“And?”
His lips brushed along my jaw and I had to lock my knees to keep from sliding down the wall. “And if I did to you all the things I wanted, I couldn’t sit at their table without them knowing that I claimed every part of you.”
I didn’t know what these things were, but I really, really wanted him to show me. “I’m still not seeing how this is a bad thing.” I had never had anyone look at me the way he was. Like I was a hot fudge sundae. I bit my lip because I was very close to begging him to kiss me. His eyes went to my mouth just as a sound rolled up his throat.
“One taste.” The words were more a growl as his fingers threaded through my hair and he palmed the back of my head seconds before his mouth claimed mine. I had never kissed a boy before; closed mouth kisses sure, but not open-mouth, tongue tying, halleluiah-inspiring kisses. I pressed into his body and I fit like I was made for him. His arm wrapped around my waist as he pulled me even closer to take the kiss deeper and all I wanted was for the world to stop so I could live in this perfect moment forever. My lips were sore and I was breathless and light-headed when he ended it.
“I need to get you home.”
I didn’t want to go home. Not yet. “I don’t want to go home.”
“I need to take you home.”
“Why?”
He touched my chin to hold my gaze on his. “Because I want you, every part of you, and I’m feeling reckless enough to not care about the consequences.”
Heat pooled between my legs and I felt both embarrassed by my body’s reaction and reckless too. “I want you. Be my first.” And my last.
“Don’t offer me that, Thea.”
He reached for my hand and led me out of the abandoned building and down the street to his car. We didn’t speak during the ride home. He told me not to offer him my virginity, but I already had. He pulled up to the curb in front of my house. Uncle Tim and Uncle Guy were still over and likely out back with Mom and Dad.
“Thanks for the ride.” I reached for the handle, but his next words stopped me.
“Being your first is special and you should only offer that to someone you love.”
I couldn’t look at him or he’d see my tears. “I just did.” Then I climbed from the car and ran up the steps and right to my room. Only then did I let the tears fall from the pain of his rejection.
I held the steering wheel so tightly I was surprised the thing didn’t break into pieces. Every instinct in me said to get out of the damn car, to follow her, to claim her. To hold her close and never let her go. But she was beauty and I was sin.
I just did. Those three words should not have the power to render me weak, and yet that was exactly how I felt when those words came from her and in the context they were given. I shouldn’t have watched, I should have driven away, but I couldn’t. I watched her run from me, and the words I felt but didn’t say. I shouldn’t have kissed her and yet I would take countless punches to the face and listen to the never-ending rhetoric spewed from my mother’s vile mouth just to kiss her again. Imagining what she tasted and felt like had driven me to the edge of madness and now knowing, I had happily slipped over that edge. Our kiss would haunt me, would become one of the many ghosts I fought to keep at bay.
I went home and right to the punching bag I had setup in the living room, a move in gift from Anton. I pounded on that bag until my body was too exhausted to feel anything else and still I ached for her.
I was pulled from my homework when something hit my bedroom window. Once, twice…on the third tap, I looked outside to see Damian. It had been a week since we kissed and I knew after badgering Cam that Damian was fighting every night. He never came here after a fight and fear that something was wrong had me running down the stairs and out the back door. He hadn’t moved, just stood there with his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
“Damian.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
My legs went weak and I had to make a conscious effort to keep them under me. I studied his face, the bruises at his jaw and the swollen eye. My heart hurt.
“Why do you have to?”
“I’m not good enough for you.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“No, that’s a fact. And even knowing these hands have no business touching you, it’s all I want. I’d fucking sell my soul to have you for just a night.”
“You don’t have to sell your soul, not when I want you just as badly.”
“Give me Satu
rday.”
Nerves had me shaking from my head right down to my toes. “Yes.”
The pad of his thumb rubbed along my lower lip. “I’ll pick you up around noon.”
“I’ll be standing at the curb.”
“Sweet dreams.” He turned from me but not before I saw him taste the thumb he’d used to touch my lips. There was something so very erotic about that gesture, but moving at the same time. I stood in the yard long after he walked away. I was having sex for the first time on Saturday, and with Damian. The smile was slow to form but lasted for the rest of the night.
Damian and I often hung out, so Mom hadn’t even questioned it when I mentioned I was hanging with him for the day. He arrived at noon and I was at the curb, more for him than me since I didn’t want him to feel awkward around my parents. If he felt guilty, it might cause him to have second thoughts. He pulled up to the curb and I knew better than to open the door. He walked around the car and held the door for me. He looked good dressed in jeans that looked newer than his usual faded ones and a button down shirt that was the same color as his eyes.
As soon as he settled behind the wheel, those pale eyes turned to me. “What are you in the mood to eat?”
Me, the one who was always hungry couldn’t eat, the butterflies in my stomach made that impossible. “I’m not hungry.”
His eyes went from pale to dark in a flash. “Are you sure?”
“Very.”
He seemed to debate with himself, the gentleman in him wanting to make the moment special, but it already was special because of him. We didn’t speak again until we were in his apartment. He had cleaned, and thinking of Damian Tate cleaning his apartment made me smile.
“What?”
“You cleaned your apartment.”
“I had a reason to. Are you sure you want this?”
“Kiss me, Damian.”
He didn’t need to be asked again. He closed the distance, but this time his kiss wasn’t just a kiss, it was a claiming. He explored my mouth as his hands moved over my body, learning every curve. For the first few minutes, I was lost in his kiss and all the feelings it stirred in me, but then I became as interested in learning his body as he was in mine. My touch wasn’t as sure as his, my hands touched his sides before moving to his back, up the hard slabs of muscle to his shoulders. His fingers threaded through my hair and tilted my head so he could kiss me deeper as his other arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me right up against him, chest to thigh. Every nerve was on fire when Damian took a step back, thinking he was retreating had me biting my lip to keep from protesting.
He wasn’t retreating. He reached for my blouse and slowly unbuttoned it, his finger running a trail down the valley between my breasts. No sooner was my blouse on the floor that my bra followed. The harsh inhale from him not only made me feel ridiculously sexy but rid me of the last of my nerves. I reached for his shirt, pulling it from his jeans and unbuttoned it as slowly as he had mine. He had nothing on under it, so I was gifted with the sight of his muscled chest and abs that formed the eight muscles leading down to the part of him I was most interested in. “You’re beautiful.”
In the next breath I was in his arms, my breasts pressed against his naked chest and just that contact started a quivering between my legs. He lifted me into his arms, swung me up like I weighed nothing, and walked me to his room. He dropped me to my feet and worked on getting my jeans off, and when he lowered himself down my body to follow the denim down my legs, I moaned feeling the warmth of his breath teasing the curls between my legs.
“Spread your legs for me, baby.”
My legs had gone boneless, my fingers digging into Damian’s shoulders for balance as I did as he asked, exposing the most vulnerable part of myself to him.
“I’m going to kiss you here.”
I knew the mechanics of sex, but it was a whole other matter having a man like Damian on his knees in front of me telling me, in that deep dark voice, what he intended.
“Thea?”
“Don’t make me beg.”
He chuckled, the sound wrapped around my heart and then his lips were on me, his tongue, and I cried out because nothing had ever felt so incredible. He teased me, touching my clit, moving deeper but never giving me what I wanted. I felt myself falling backwards onto the bed, his fingers on my thighs almost hurt as he yanked me to the edge seconds before his tongue pushed into me. Lights flashed behind my closed lids as the most intense pleasure caused chills to ripple over every nerve ending. I would give him anything. Offer him anything to keep him right where he was, doing exactly what he was doing.
“Don’t stop, please don’t stop.” My fingers curled in the sheets but as his fingers started working in tandem with his tongue and teeth, my hands moved to his head, my fingers fisting his hair as my hips moved against his face. When I came, the intensity of the orgasm brought tears to my eyes even as they rolled into the back of my head. I felt so deliciously sated. He moved and I heard the rustling of clothes stirring me from my blissful moment. The sight of him standing over me, the beauty of his muscled body, his erection that was slightly terrifying in size, sated was replaced with desire so profound I became bold. I moved further up on the bed and spread my legs even wider. It was all the invitation he needed. He rolled on a condom and covered my body with his own.
His kissed me and I tasted myself on his tongue. His mouth moved to my jaw. “You’re so sweet. Can you taste it?”
He kissed me again but harder. “One night isn’t going to be enough,” he whispered.
I pulled my hands through his hair and forced his gaze on me. “I don’t want just one night with you.”
“I need to be inside you. Are you ready for me?”
“Yes.”
His hand disappeared between our bodies and I felt the tip of his cock touching me right where I ached for him. “It’s going to hurt.”
“I don’t care.”
He kissed me again, deep and wet, then I felt a burning between my legs as he thrust forward. I tensed as my fingers dug into his arms.
“I’m sorry.”
It hurt, I wasn’t going to lie, but Damian was inside me. We were connected in the most intimate way possible. It could hurt a thousand times more than it did and I would happily take it to have him part of me.
It was me who ran my thumb over his lips, his tongue darting out to taste me. “You’re mine now,” I whispered.
He pulled from me then sank in deeper. My legs fell open wider as he slowly moved, turning the pain into pleasure. His dark head lowered and his lips brushed over my nipple before he sucked me into his mouth. I’d heard about this, never thought it could be all that enjoyable. I was wrong. Oh so wrong. It was so incredible I guided my neglected breast to his mouth. Damian was consuming me and still he wasn’t close enough, deep enough. My body went tight as I stood on the precipice of the next orgasm.
“I’m coming, Thea. Come with me.”
And I did, right before he stilled as pure pleasure moved over his face. He stayed where he was, so still, and I feared guilt was pushing out pleasure. Instead he opened his eyes and smiled at me. The first real smile I’d ever seen from him.
“I’ll feed you then you’re back in my bed.”
“I like this plan.”
I had to get home, but I didn’t want to leave him. He was sleeping, his face turned to me, his back exposed and the sheet just brushing the curve of his ass. I sat on a chair with my feet on the bed and sketched him.
“I need to get you home.”
“Just a few more minutes.”
His eyes opened. “What are you doing?”
I placed the sketch on his pillow. He rose to his elbows and studied it.
“You are really talented.”
“It’s easy when you have a beautiful subject.”
Those pale eyes flashed hot then he pulled me onto the bed. “You’re right, we have a few more minutes.”
The whole week that followed I spent in a daze. I wa
s in love with Damian, deep irrevocable love. I stood near the school and waited for him to get the car, he insisted because rain was threatening. I hadn’t been standing there long when the skies opened up and a drenching rain poured down. Damian arrived only minutes later but I was soaked to the skin. I reached for the door, but he was faster, coming around to join me in the rain.
“You’re a bit wet.”
“You are now too.”
“Drowned rat is a good look on you.”
I playfully punched him in the arm. “Funny.”
He moved closer and right there in front of our school, he kissed me senseless. His lips lingered just out of reach of mine. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
He held the door for me and grinned. He didn’t rush around the car to get out of the rain. He strolled around it and folded himself behind the wheel. “My place. I want to see you wet and naked.”
Everything below my waist throbbed.
He touched my chin. “Let me guess. You like this plan.”
“Very much.”
I rested my chin on Damian’s chest, his hand was moving up and down my bare back. We’d snuck away for a few hours. He made me lunch and then he undressed me and took me on his kitchen counter. I would never again see a kitchen counter and not think about him. I was so happy, happier than I had ever been. It had been a month since we first made love and every day I wanted him more, liked him more, but graduation was coming and I worried about what came next for us.
“We haven’t talked about what happens in September.”
“NYU, you mean?”
“And the army.”
“I’ve been thinking and I might hold off on that, maybe find a job closer to you.”
