In Pursuit of Valis

by Philip K. Dick

  A = Ā is not a statement about Logic, but an observation about reality; it is pragmatic. But it reveals that thinking cannot act as an inner analog to the outer world; for the mind to mirror world correctly it must cease to think, i.e., to be & do what instead? The total organism acts with no-thought. It becomes a nonthinking response machine (in the good sense). To know what, by definition, you cannot know-there it is again; I knew & did not know; there it is again.

  Some higher Non-Self Self was involved, &, in solving the problem, as an offshoot I passed over into Paradise.

  (1978)

  It can be said that the yin part “hatched” too soon, before the yang one, & is defective (crazy, like James−James). It seized the initiative. But put another way, it can be said the God-as-yang allowed (in some sense that we can’t comprehend) this to happen. Ultimately a better final world (cosmos) can be built making use of yin, the dark power; i.e., if yin comes first, if it revolts, if becomes the substrate for yang—which has the last move. Yang (as was revealed to me in 3-74) let the blind adversary make the first move, & built on that for his purposes. If yin has the first move, yang has the last. This conforms to Timaeus[96] in which noös comes upon ananke, & begins to persuade it (i.e., arrange chaos into cosmos).

  Thus Form II is the initial stage, & Form I the evolutionary jump.

  The God of the O.T. is God-not as just yin-but God showing both his sides, as if they are not yet differentiated, & thus pitted against the yin—as the O. T. God is not so pitted. The O.T. God oscillates; the N.T. God has stabilized, thrust the yin parts into an earlier Form (II) & is now a Form I God. The O.T. God creates & destroys, which the latter is alien to the N.T. God.

  (1978)

  My life has divided this way:

  Survival | Cultural | Spiritual | Post Mortem (resurrected as of 3-74)

  What I experienced in 3-74 was death (literally) & resurrection as an immortal being. Obviously I—my body—can physically die, but that is not the issue; the issue has to do with the divine spark in me which awoke from ignorance (forgetfulness) & remembered— inc. its origins. Thus I returned to God & entered the Kingdom.[ ... ]

  (1978)

  In schizophrenia the synchronization of inner & outer tapes fails to such a degree that Bedeutung [meaning] is impaired; data which are not for the person are engrained in, & the inner tape projects phantom people, voices & things into a vacuum (so my system offers a new concept of the origin & nature of psychosis): there is literally nothing out there corresponding to the contents of the inner tape! In fact, schizophrenia could be considered evidence for my system; it is an instance of the malfunction of that system, & with my system in mind, can be readily understood (in MARTIAN TIME-SLIP I saw it as a breakdown of proper time functioning, which was close). Also, schizophrenia, besides displaying the auto-generated mental contents projected not onto outer analogs but into a void, explains the “nothing new came into his mind one day” aspect; the schizophrenic can be defined as a percipient who has lost the willingness or ability to receive the information fired at him by Zebra (as external world). Thus he has his inner tape world & no outer programming a dreadful situation— but obviously in a certain number of cases the inner-outer synch would fail. The schizophrenic is isolated with nothing but his individual inner tape, which degenerates upon ceasing to receive the vital disinhibiting external signals, it becomes stuck, &, for him, time ceases to flow & growth stops, because he is cut off from change.

  Paranoia is a projection of pattern instead of a reception of pattern. It is an overmastery by self, again a failure to be receptive. Outer world must be trustingly received, since it is God himself.

  (1978)

  TEARS shows I had vestigal memories before 3-74 when they (& the alternate personality of the world broke through). But, as always, what I know is far less than what I don’t know, & even what I do know is shaky. The mystery only deepens. Where (or when) is (or was) the Black Iron World? I was there but ain here now. How came I here? Did that world go out of existence? Did this one replace it? Is this world somehow irreal. Maybe stretched like a skin over (& concealing) the other? In which case can the Black Iron World come back?

  [reconstructed from PKD’s original]

  (1978)

  The creator can afford to descend into his own creation. He can afford to shed his memories (of his identity) and his supernatural powers. Then he can test his own creation. But he cannot afford to get stuck in it. The creator deliberately plants clues in his irreal creation-clues which he cunningly knows in time (eventually) will restore his memory (anamnesis) of who he is, and his powers as well; he will then know that his creation is irreal and has imprisoned him in it, thus freeing himself and restoring himself to Godhood.

  So he has a fail-safe system built in. No chance he won’t eventually remember. Makes himself subject to spurious space, time and world (and death, pain, loss, decay, etc.), but has these disinhibiting clues or stimuli distributed deliberately strategically in time and space. So it is he himself who sends himself the letter which restores his memory (Legend of the Pearl). No fool he!

  This is perfectly epitomized in the UBIK commercials; he can exist at any trashy layer—sincerely—he wants to be, in any trashy form. But in the end he remembers (as witness the ad over the final chapter of UBIK). Purpose? This way he can permeate his creation with the divine, at all levels, and sincerely (i.e., without even him knowing, while he’s doing it!)

  Zebra equals Christ. Christ equals God. Thomas equals Zebra. I equal Thomas. (For equals read is.) Thus I equal God.

  But I’ve forgotten again. Oh well—I wrote it all down, heh-heh. Knowing I’d again forget. I was invaded (theolepsy) by Christ, all right. But as I say supra, it was I who remembered being Thomas or Christ and living back in Rome c. A.D. 45. So, like in “Imposter,” I amI love it. It’s delightful. It’s a dance. Brahman dancing with joy. (Felix.) And so was Pinky;[97] he knew and remembered, too.

  Christ (the Creator) is among us, disguised. Even He has forgotten. He could be any person, any animal. We do not know; He does not know. But eventually He will remember; He has set clues in his own path to trigger off his true memory and powers. Then we will find ourselves judged for the way we treated Him, as told in the N.T. He who was our victim, our object, will be our judge.

  In 3-74 I sat down on the judgment seat, when I remembered.

  And what about those who set the trap for me in 3-74, the trap that went back to the raid on my house on 11/17/71?[98] Beware when you set out a trap; you may trap Dionysos, the patron God of small trapped animals.

  (1978)

  Kerygma understood as of October 18, 1978:

  In STIGMATA, UBIK and MAZE they are in an irreal world (Lem’s paradigm). It is stipulated in STIGMATA that no time passes, and this is implicit in MAZE (and could be true in UBIK). In TEARS the actual world is shown, the world of Acts, Rome C. A.D. 45. In SCANNER the cause of our being unable to reality-test is shown to be a percept-system toxicity or damage, anyhow an inner occlusion deliberately induced by a drug or drug-like substance (which collates with the master magician in STIGMATA administering a drug to people which puts them forever in his irreal world where no time passes—a world they can’t tell isn’t real). (In MAZE two additional points are made: (1) false memories; and (2) negative hallucinations on a mass basis; rather than experiencing what is real, something which is actually there is not experienced.) Thus in those five novels virtually the complete story is shown, especially if one can determine from internal evidence that the world of actuality presented in TEARS is the time and place of Acts. The nature of the entity which seeks to rescue us is given in UBIK, and is called—by itself-“the Word,” i.e., Christ or the Logos. It is breaking through “from the other side,” one way, uncannily manifesting itself in ways not syntonic to the false world they imagine they’re living in. This very experience precisely happened to me in 2-3/74, indicating that all five novels are literally true (I experienced the world of TEARS or more a
ccurately the world of Acts). I assumed that the purpose of my writing is to acquaint us with our situation, that my novels and stories function like the inbreaking messages in UBIK (such as the graffiti on the bathroom walls), but now I am given to understand that actually my writing is [a] report on the situation here outgoing—meant to leave our irreal world, to break out, not in, and acquaint the actual world (macrobrain) of our plight. They are then appeals for help, by a salvific entity which has invaded this our irreal world, an entity we can’t perceive. It is the Paraclete, which has just now arrived for the first time, immediately following Christ’s death and resurrection (it must be kept in mind that the real time is 45 A.D. and the real place is the Roman Empire). My writing is information traffic fed into the macrobrain, which continually processes such information. This information traffic between stations of the macrobrain is itself what we call “the Logos.”

  Despite the testimony of our (occluded) senses, the Parousia is close at hand, and will occur as promised during the lifetime of some of those of the first century A.D. We will experience this when the Paraclete abolishes the irreal world imposed on us, strips the master magician of his power over us, and reveals to us the true state of things, most especially the macrobrain (or God), which is a macroform of us the plural microforms.

  There is some evidence that the master magician who has us lost in his irreal world where no actual time elapses (called Palmer Eldritch in STIGMATA) is Simon Magus, who lived at the time of Acts, which is to say now. Thus Simon is still alive, and the authentic original early Christian disciples are still alive.

  (18 October 1978)

  A revised (?) theory as to who-what Zebra is. Zebra is the microform physician sent into the lower realm (Form II) world to break “astral determinism,” Form II’s power. “Matter (Form II) is plastic in the face of mind (the microform of the upper realm invading this realm as our savior—champion—v. my tractate). Hence the healing “miracles” which Zebra displayed. (This retains my insight that Zebra is an invader here, which I consider to be the turning point of realization in my exegesis).

  The tractate[99] identifies this healer (physician) invading Form II as Christ. Therefore Zebra is Christ.

  His breaking “astral determinism” over an individual (e.g. me) is a sort of localized slaying of Form II, the deterministic yin world.

  This tells us (v. the tractate) that Christ is here— 3-74 proves it. This indeed explains the “melting of causal trains” which I saw.

  In a roundabout way I’ve proven that Zebra is indeed Christ (via the tractate).

  This dovetails with St. Paul’s doctrine about Christ versus the old law or “planetary powers” (angels). This is also the fourth gospel light versus dark contention which I refer to in the tractate (as put forth by Zoroaster and the Essenes). Victory, finally, is given by God to the light. And since, as Parmenides pointed out, Form II really doesn’t exist, breaking astral determinism is in fact breaking the power of illusion—the lie—of an irreal world (cf. the acosmism in my writing). Thus the key salvific weapon is knowledge—to know and see the truth (versus dokos/maya). Christ (Zebra) coming here is the savior venturing into the domain of darkness to rescue us. So Zebra is Christ; and Zebra (Christ) is our savior, who does battle for us. Since causality (“astral determinism” or fate) operates in time, a (or the) method of salvation by the savior is to free us from time by converting time into space, and thus aborting causality. “Time can be overcome,” and in this process a temporal rollback to the Origins (anamnesis) occurs. And time overcome means death and decay overcome.

  By definition, the Holy Spirit is inside you (“Thomas”?). But I saw Zebra outside. Therefore I saw Christ.

  I saw him per spiritum sanctum [through the holy spirit] (in me). “Christ has no body now but yours.” He acted in and through me. He was in me.

  There is a very strange statement in Wagner’s Parsifal: “Here time, my son, turns into space.” What does this mean, especially when connected to the castle of the Knights of the Grail (they actually possess the Grail)? One can move back and forth through space. Parsifal says that he feels he has gone (moved) very far, and gets this statement in return; and the landscape melts and changes. And the Grail calls to a person, the right person; you cannot make your way to it on your own; it must actually seek you out, calling to you.

  If the upper realm is determined by space, our participation in it probably emanates from our right hemispheres; if the lower realm is determined by time—which it is—we are confined to it by our left-hemisphere dominance. Thus God speaks to us by our right hemispheres.

  (November 1978)

  “Jesus Christ” is a code name for this rational phylogenic ultra personality which can only be summoned by the passion & death of the ontogenic irrational self. The latter must be induced to die, through a series of ritual ordeals. &-which is essential—the stimulus for an anamnesis which disinhibits the former.

  Then “Yalda Baoth”[100] is either a symbol for or a projection of the old original irrational self who thinks mistakenly that he is the only God—i.e. only self. But there is another one which is sane that he does not know exists, & which outwits him, entering consciousness (projected as or symbolized by the term “this prison world”). A great psychological dialectic battle between the two is fought in which the invading sane self due to its superior wisdom (rationality & intelligence) wins. (If all goes well.) The sin of the old self—this is an antique term denoting its impaired condition which Calvin describes: its madness (blindness). Its occlusion.

  The breaking of “astral determinism” or “burning up karma” indicates I am on the right track, here. They (these terms) refer to the deterministic fate of the ossified original self, which is a sinister one: decay, rigidity, spiritual—& even physical—death. The original self is winding down. Unless replaced, the person is caught fast in the sum total of what he is: his nature, which must be infringed on by a new self outside his self. Ex nihilo [out of nothing] new creation must occur. The original self must be destroyed by a living (breathing) “doomsday device”—the new self, which although new is paradoxically very old. (Far older than the original self.)

  (1979)

  So irreality & perturbation are the two perplexities which confront us; irreality is departing, but the changeover shows enigmatic traces or imprints which do not belong, in particular of a parallel world phasing in & out: this latter (plus the presence of the macromind) is what is pointed to, but in a “nonsensical” baffling way.

  To a very large degree memory no longer agrees with reality.

  I wonder if this sheds any light on schizophrenia. Could the schizophrenic be given conflicting realities or data about reality? His mind has to put together constituents which simply do not fit. He is a casualty of this revision process & cannot make sense out of it. How is he to penetrate to the mystery—explanation—underlying what he undergoes? If my cosmology is correct, would you not anticipate such casualties? My writing is a deliberate attempt to take these conflicting or disintegrating realities, & the experiences of them, & seek some kind of ontological or metaphysical overview? So in a way I have battled against schizophrenia by seeking a philosophical framework which will 1) accept as real these disrupted data; & 2) account for them. 2-3-74, hen can be viewed as the catalytic triumph or payoff—i.e., the success—of decades of observation & analysis & theorizing. I have had to deal with deluding, irreal, conflicting, chaotic & Fremd [strange, discomforting] material, &just plain hung in there conceptually, taking the view that some explanation must exist, although it would have to be radical & far-reaching.

  I actually had to develop a love of the disordered & puzzling, viewing reality as a vast riddle to be joyfully tackled, not in fear but with tireless fascination. What has been most needed is reality testing, & a willingness to face the possibility of self-negating experiences: i.e., real contradictions, with something being both true & not true.

  The enigma is alive, aware of us, & changing. It i
s partly created by our own ininds: we alter it by perceiving it, since we are not outside it. As our views shift, it shifts in a sense it is not there at all (acosmism). In another sense it is a vast intelligence; in another sense it is total harmonia and structure (how logically can it be all three? Well, it is).

  (1979)

  Plundering the antecedent universe as stockpile & “pretextual cause” are one & the same thing: involving choosing from the range of potential possibilities; viz: actualizing the most desirable possibility in terms of an envisioned goal (the God’s teleological foresight). Apparently I was briefly joined to the God’s mind itself, & so understood not only that it operates (decides) but how it decides: on the basis of what & what for (goal).

  1) Zoroaster: a priori foresight vs. obdurate opponent with only hindsight: the dialectic.

  2) Aristotle: teleology—stimulating goal seeking— as primary function.

  3) Spinoza: immanent, not transcendent; always working by, with & in natural law, rather than suspending it.

  4) Avicenna: not seeing time as we do (hence orthogonal change).

  5) Plato: persuasion rather than coercion; noös vs. ananke (v. #1).

  6) Pythagoras: concept of kosmos.

  7) Parmenides: Forms 1 & 2 with 2 only seeming (v. #1 & “the lie.”)

  8) the Mystery religions: power to break “astral determinism,” which is the true basis of salvation & the action of #2.

  9) Plotinus: union with God (also Sankara & Eckhart).

  10) N.T.: Christ as surrogate for us in terms of bait taken by the hostile power. The Holy Spirit as aural prompting by the God, within each of us.

  11) O.T. Elijah & entheusiasmos [the Greek here literally: the in-taking of the god]. (v. #9.)

  12) Leibnitz: “Best of all possible worlds.”