Easy Nights (Boudreaux #6)

by Kristen Proby

  “Shit, she looks horrible.”

  “Hear you,” she whispers without opening her eyes. I grin and kiss her forehead.

  “You look beautiful.”

  She doesn’t answer and the doctor closes his laptop. “I’ll be here for another six hours. I’ll bring the doctor who will take over for me tonight in to meet you before I leave. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to push that red button.”

  I nod and sit quietly after the doctor leaves. When Mom is deep in sleep, I reach for my phone and dial Van’s number again. This time it doesn’t even ring, it just goes straight to voice mail, so I hang up and call her office.

  “Savannah Boudreaux’s office,” Becky says in greeting.

  “Hi, Becky, this is Ben. Can you please put me through to Van? It’s an emergency.”

  “I’m sorry, Ben, she isn’t in the office today.”

  “Of course she is,” I reply with a frown.

  “No, she never showed up. I presume she’s working from home today.”

  “Thanks.” I end the call and shoot a text to Van.

  Becky says you’re not in the office today. Everything okay? Please call.

  When I don’t hear from her thirty minutes later, I call Beau.

  “Hey,” he says.

  “Hi. I’m at the hospital with my mom. There was a mix up with her meds, and she’s going to be here for a couple of days.”

  “Shit, I’m sorry,” he says. “How can we help?”

  “Well, I’m fine for now, but I can’t reach Van. I saw her this morning, but Becky said that Van never came into work today, and I can’t get her to answer the phone.”

  “She probably has it turned off,” Beau says.

  “Maybe, but I have a bad feeling. Can you check in on her?”

  “Sure. Do you want me to come up to the hospital with you?”

  “No. Mom’s sleeping. They’ll kick me out when visiting hours are over. But please check on Van and tell her to call me.”

  “Will do.”

  But two hours go by and I don’t hear from her. Beau texted and said he spoke with her. She wasn’t feeling well and was napping at home.

  Rather than call her like a goddamn stalker, I leave her be and plan to check in on her after I talk to the night doctor and leave for the night.

  “Hi, my boy,” Mom says groggily.

  “Hey, how are you feeling?”

  “Never been so sleepy in all my days,” she says. “You should go. I’m just going to sleep.”

  “I’m going to stay until I can talk to your doctor, and then I’ll go.”

  “Okay.”

  She falls right back to sleep, and less than thirty minutes later the nurse and doctor arrive to talk about their plan for the night.

  “I recommend you go home,” the doctor says. “She’s sleeping comfortably, and if anything changes we’ll call you.”

  “Thank you.” I stand, but then turn back. “Do we know how the mix up happened? She doesn’t even take Ativan, so it’s not like it was just a mistake in dosage.”

  “We don’t know,” he says with a frown. “But it’s been reported and there will be an investigation.”

  I nod and leave, wanting nothing more than to see Savannah, and see for myself that she’s okay. Thankfully she doesn’t live too far away.

  Her car is in the driveway, and the lights are on in the living room.

  “Hello?” I call out after I let myself in with the key she gave me and walk inside. Van comes out of the kitchen with a steaming mug of tea, sets it down, but doesn’t sit. She also doesn’t look me in the eyes.

  “Are you okay, Angel?”

  “Fine.” She forces a smile and pulls her zip-up hoodie tightly around her. “Beau told me your mom isn’t feeling well?”

  I cock my head to the side, watching her. Something is way off. “She’s going to be fine. What’s going on with you?”

  “Oh, nothing,” she says. “Just a bug of some kind.”

  I step toward her, but she quickly backs away. “You shouldn’t come near me. I’m sick.”

  “Someone once told me that if you’re taking care of someone who’s sick you can’t get sick yourself.”

  “That’s silly,” she murmurs. “You know, Ben—” She doesn’t finish the sentence. She takes a deep breath and clears her throat. “You know, I think things are moving kind of fast between us.”

  I narrow my eyes, watching her. She pushes her hair off of her face and bites her lip, but her eyes still won’t meet mine.

  “I mean, we’ve really rushed things, and I was talking to my counselor this morning, and she pointed out that maybe we should slow things down a bit.”

  “That’s a lie,” I reply calmly. She’s upset about something, and she’s trying to run away rather than let me help.

  “It’s not a lie,” she snaps. “I’m not comfortable with how quickly our relationship is moving. I think it’s a good idea to just take a break for a bit and catch our breath.”

  “I don’t need to step back.”

  “Well, it’s not all about you,” she says. She’s irritated and pacing the living room now.

  “Why didn’t you answer your phone earlier?”

  “I was busy.”

  “You didn’t call after you heard about Mom.”

  “You don’t get to tell me when I have to call you,” she says, working herself up. “You don’t control me. I’ll call you when I damn well want to. And if I want to stop seeing you, I’ll do that too. It was never going to work.” She laughs humorlessly. “How did we ever think it would work?”

  “Because we’re in love with each other and being without you is a hell I don’t want to ever experience again?”

  “Stop it with the pretty words,” she yells. “You say all of the right things and then you have sex with me and make me feel things, and I give into you because it all feels good, even if that’s not what I really want. It’s not fair!”

  “What do you want?”

  “I want you to go. I want to stop seeing you because it’s only going to end badly, and then it’ll hurt everyone we love. I can’t be selfish about this, Ben. I’ve told you that from the beginning.”

  “You’re not being honest with me.”

  “Stop calling me a liar!” She’s panting now.

  “You’re having a panic attack.”

  “Don’t tell me what I’m having.” She looks at me now, square in the eyes, and the pain there almost brings me to my knees.

  “Let me fix this.” My God, she’s shattering me into a million pieces. “Savannah, I don’t know what made you come to this conclusion today, but you’re wrong. We can make this work.”

  “I don’t want to do this,” she whispers. “I can’t do this.”

  “Savannah.”

  “You need to go.”

  “No. I’m not leaving you like this.”

  “Goddamn it, Ben, just go.”

  I move toward her, needing to pull her into my arms, but she flinches, putting her hand up as if to deflect a blow, and it stops me in my tracks.

  “Did you just flinch?”

  “Yes. I’m obviously afraid of you,” she says.

  “What the fuck, Savannah?”

  “Don’t you swear at me,” she replies. “I want you out of my house. I’ll pack your things and you can get them off of the porch tomorrow afternoon.”

  I shake my head, staring at her, but she doesn’t move. Her face doesn’t change. She’s panting, her hands in fists at her side, and she’s waiting for me to leave.

  So I do. I make myself turn away and walk out the door, down to my car, and drive away from her house.

  What in the ever loving fuck just happened?

  Once at home, I can’t stop pacing. Thinking.

  I’m so fucking pissed off. What is she thinking? I don’t buy the whole my counselor says bullshit. What happened today?

  I want to march back over there and make her listen to me, but that will only end in disaster.
I won’t sleep. I can’t sit still.

  So I call Ethan.

  “I know it’s late, but I need a favor,” I say when he answers.

  “What do you need?”

  “I need you to meet me at the dojo. I need to kick someone’s ass, and you are one of the few I know who can keep up with me.”

  “I could use a few rounds in the ring with you. It’s been a minute since we sparred.”

  “I’m heading there now.”

  Aside from the Boudreauxes, Ethan is one of my closest friends, and one of the best Krav Maga masters I’ve met. He’s an asset to my team, and an excellent sparring partner.

  He’s already there when I arrive. It’s dark inside, with just the small dojo lights on.

  “What’s up, man?” he asks as I walk in.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I reply. “But you’re going to need a helmet because I’m fucking pissed and I’m going to try to kick your ass.”

  He grins. “Fun.” He’s smart enough to get a helmet, and I advance, not pulling any punches. Ethan is shorter than me, but just as strong. He takes me down and we struggle for a few minutes until I work my way loose and reverse our positions. I punch him and then roll away, giving him a chance to get back up.

  We go like this until both of us are lying on the mat in exhausted heaps, both of us on our backs.

  “You’re pretty worked up,” Ethan says as he struggles to catch his breath. “Is it the financials?”

  “That’s only a piece of it,” I reply and sit up. “It was maybe the shittiest day of my life.”

  “Shittier than that time you lost in the ring to that kid from Canada?”

  “Yes.”

  “Shittier than the day you stopped fighting for the MMA?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you miss it?”

  “The MMA?”

  He nods.

  “No. I beat my body up daily so I could whoop ass in a cage. I’m too old for that shit now. I like my business.”

  “You’re good at it.” He tugs his helmet off and winces. “It’s a good thing I wasn’t stubborn and told you to shove the helmet up your ass.”

  “I could go another round.”

  He glances at me, surprised. “I’m done, man. Go hit the bag. Or go home and fuck your girlfriend.”

  I growl and stalk away from him.

  “Ah, she’s one of the problems.” He laughs. “Makes sense. My wife drives me batty eighty percent of the time. But she’s the best thing I’ll ever have in my life.”

  “I don’t really want to talk about women,” I reply. “You can take off. I’ll punch the bag for a bit.”

  But after he leaves, I don’t have the energy to keep punching the bag. I can’t go home. There are too many memories of Van there, and I’ll just make myself crazy.

  So, I go to my office and lay down on the couch. It’s quiet here at night. Haunted as fuck, with footsteps up in the attic. I use it for storage, and where the footsteps are, is currently covered in boxes.

  But that doesn’t bother me. I’m used to it.

  What bothers me is that Savannah has shut me out. If she thinks it’s over, she doesn’t know me very well.

  Chapter Seventeen

  ~Savannah~

  Seeing the pain on Ben’s face when he left my house is conceivably the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Every word I said to him cut me inside, and I wanted to run after him to tell him the truth, to beg him to help me.

  But I couldn’t.

  I can’t.

  Ben can’t fix this. No one can fix this.

  Except me. I just pray that when it’s all said and done, Ben can forgive me.

  I turn out all of the lights on my way up to my bedroom. I don’t expect to sleep tonight, so I grab a notebook and pen and settle on the bed, ready to make several lists.

  It’s warm today. Almost too warm, especially out here on the water. I’m wearing a super wide brimmed hat, protecting my face and shoulders from the sunshine. Daddy and I are floating lazily on the lake, our fishing poles lying on the bottom of the boat.

  “Fish aren’t biting today,” Daddy says. “But that’s okay. Sometimes it’s nice to just sit on the water and enjoy the quiet.”

  I nod and lean back, closing my eyes. “It’s a nice day. A bit warm.”

  “You never did like the hot weather.”

  I grin. “I don’t know how I could have been born in Louisiana and not like warm weather, but you’re right. I actually prefer a cold, rainy day. But it’s nice to be out here with you today.”

  And then I remember. Pain slices right through me, just as bright as the day he died.

  “I’ve missed you,” is all I can say. Daddy smiles softly and reaches out to pat my knee.

  “I’m with you,” he says. “You can’t always see me, but I’m never too far away.”

  “I’m glad you come to me in dreams,” I reply and sigh happily when the sun slips behind a cloud. “That’s better.”

  “I love spending time with you, baby girl, but we have something to discuss.”

  “We do?”

  There’s no humor in his eyes now as he nods solemnly. “You know we do.”

  Lance. The prison. The photos. It all hits me again, and I just feel ashamed.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

  “What, exactly, are you sorry for?”

  “I’ve put the family in danger again.”

  He shakes his head impatiently and takes his fishing hat off his head long enough to scratch his hair and then pushes it back on.

  “For such a smart little thing, there are moments that I want to throttle you.”

  “You never throttled me,” I reply. “And I’m not being dumb.”

  “Savannah Jean Boudreaux, you didn’t do anything wrong. And you know it.”

  “It’s happening again,” I murmur. “He’s threatening to hurt our family, all because I fell in love with Ben all over again and he and I are trying to be happy together. Lance will never sit back and let me move on from him.”

  “You know what to do,” Daddy says gently. “You’ve already put the plan into motion. It’s a shame that Ben was caught in the crossfire.”

  Thinking about it hurts. “I hurt him.”

  “Yes. You did.”

  “But he would try to fix this for me, and I don’t need him to do that.”

  “No, you don’t.” He smiles now and the knot in my stomach loosens. “I’m so proud of you, Savannah. You don’t look defeated like you did before. You look good and pissed off, and that’s just how it should be.”

  “I am pissed,” I reply honestly. “That actually might be the biggest understatement ever. I’m so blinded by anger. He scared me, like he did before. Maybe worse this time because he showed me the pictures of the babies.”

  “He’s playing mind games with you, Van.”

  “I know. It took me several hours to let the terror subside and realize that he’s just trying to scare me and bend to his will. But I’m not his wife. And even if I were, no one has the right to treat me that way.”

  “There’s my girl,” he says with a smile. “You’re an amazing woman, Savannah. Ben’s a lucky man.”

  “If he forgives me,” I reply and feel my eyes well with tears. “He might not.”

  “You haven’t done or said anything unforgivable,” Daddy replies and pats my knee again. “You’ll work this out and be better for it.”

  “You’ve always had so much more confidence in me than I have in myself,” I reply.

  “Because I can see you, Daughter. I see you the way you should see yourself. And you’re beginning to.”

  “I wish you hadn’t gone away,” I whisper. “Dreams aren’t enough.”

  “We want it all, don’t we?” He nods and adjusts his hat again. “I’m here. And your brothers love you. You’re surrounded with people that you can lean on and ask for help when you need it.”

  “None of them are my daddy.”

&
nbsp; “True.” He smiles. “It has been the pleasure of my life to be your father. Now, you go take care of your business.”

  “Will I see you again?”

  “I’ll come visit now and again.” He picks up his pole. “Let’s get us some dinner.”

  The sun is already up and shining in my bedroom when I waken. I didn’t think I’d sleep at all, yet it seems that I slept for about nine hours, which is good because I’m going to need the rest.

  It’s going to be a busy day.

  ***

  “Good morning,” Declan says as he pulls his front door open. “You could have called to let me know you were on your way over. I would have made breakfast.”

  “Oh, I’m not hungry,” I reply. I can’t call because my phone is tapped. “Can I come in?”

  “Of course.” He backs up so I can come into the house and closes the door behind me. “Van’s here!” he yells out to Callie.

  “I hope I didn’t wake you guys up.”

  “We didn’t work last night,” he replies as he leads me back to the kitchen where Callie is making a cup of coffee.

  “Hi, Van,” she says with a smile.

  “Hey.” I love Callie. She’s perfect for my brother. But right now, I need to talk to just him. I glance over at Declan and he immediately knows.

  “Hey, Cal, can you give us a few minutes?”

  “Sure.” She finishes pouring the cream in her coffee and kisses Declan as she walks out of the room. “I’ll be upstairs.”

  “Thank you,” Dec says, watching me closely. “What’s going on?”

  “Why do you think something’s going on?” I ask, evading the question. “I could use a cup of coffee.”

  “In a minute. First, tell me what’s on your mind.”

  I don’t want to tell him. I probably shouldn’t have come here, but I needed to see my twin brother. “Well, I broke it off with Ben.”

  He stares at me for several long seconds as if I just told him that I sold my share of the company. “Why?”

  I shrug. It’s killing me to lie, but I have to keep up the façade. If I don’t, Larry could hurt someone.

  “It was always a bad idea,” I say at last. “It was best to end it before it made things really bad between our families.”