Shannon seemed a little confused by the reaction, then smiled a little and waved her hand as if to brush away the concerns. “Oh, it sounds worse than it was. Anyway, the point is, she’s out there and extremely dangerous. I don’t want to throw around the word ‘terrorist,’ but all someone like her wants is to kill and destroy.”
“And that’s why she was being fed to…that thing?”
“Huh? The ancient unknown? Have you seen one before? They got one where you work?”
“Yeah.”
“Well…that’s complicated to explain. This is probably like you talking advanced coding stuff to me.” She laughed. “Look at me going on a big work tangent right after we…were intimate. I’m not making this romantic at all.”
“No, I want to know about your work.” Or maybe he didn’t, because it seemed like a big complication to what should have been a clearly good thing: gaining the affections of a smart, beautiful woman. “It seems kind of…dangerous.”
“Meh.” She leaned over and put her head on his shoulder while playfully touching his chest. “But it’s cute that you’re worried about me.”
Terrance kissed her, as it seemed the thing to do, and they spent a few moments looking into each other’s eyes. “You’re very beautiful.”
“And you’re handsome.”
Terrance didn’t think he was anywhere near as handsome as she was beautiful, but he took the compliment. “So the ruling is that we’ll go on dating as normal, as if this didn’t happen.”
“Yeah, well, I want this to work out, so I didn’t want to rush things, but I’ve been so needy lately and now I’m just talking and talking and pretty sure I’m making things worse with that and please stop me.”
Terrance put his finger to her lips. “Overthinking things and being neurotic is more my thing. We’ll just regroup next date and not worry about this.”
“We’ll pretend we haven’t already seen each other naked.”
“Yep. I’m just going to go back to imagining what you look like naked while you talk.”
Shannon nodded. “Okay, from here on, we’ll take things slower and get to know each other.” She thought for a moment. “Is it okay if I change my Facebook status, or is that too fast?”
“I don’t even think we’re Facebook friends yet.”
“Yeah, we should probably do that first.” She frowned a little. “So I’m not scaring you off with how crazy and needy I am?”
“No. You’re not crazy. You’re not needy. And you’re definitely not scaring me off,” Terrance said just as Shannon turned to fetch her underwear off the floor, giving him another glimpse of the bloodstain in her hair. And a part of him was scared. Terrified, even. But with a naked woman next to him, fear certainly wasn’t his dominant feeling.
Lance’s advice that Terrance just needed to get laid to relieve his worry about the world had seemed rather crude, but the next day all his previous worries about “odd” things like demons and whatnot seemed rather trivial compared to the fact that he pretty much had a girlfriend, a rather attractive and fun one at that. Still, he took a different route to work so as not to even pass by the unmarked road in the woods. Terrance had a good thing going, and he didn’t want to ruin it with any more foolish musings, such as about what had led to his embarrassment at the work function the previous day. He was still rather worried about Shannon finding out that he was the one who had allowed the dangerous, doe-eyed girl to escape, and he really didn’t want to give any more ammunition to the idea that he was some sort of weirdo.
So high was Terrance from his success with Shannon that he nearly forgot to get himself some coffee as soon as he got to work. He settled into his cubicle, hoping to avoid his coworkers and give them more time to forget his outburst from the other day, but Karen soon approached him. “I saw that Shannon changed her Facebook status. She says she’s in a relationship with you.”
Terrance leaned back in his office chair and sipped his coffee. “We’re not Facebook friends, are we?”
“I don’t need updates on what video games you’re playing. Anyway, don’t take advantage of her.”
“I post video game updates to Twitter. And I wouldn’t take advantage of her. I’m a nice guy.” Did he take advantage of her? What had happened last night wasn’t even his idea. “We just clicked, you know.”
“Just be careful. She’s a bit vulnerable after Chet.”
“Chet?”
“Her previous boyfriend.”
“Oh, she mentioned something about him.” Terrance wasn’t sure how curious he should be. He didn’t want to violate Shannon’s privacy, but he did want to know what he was up against. “Who was he?”
“A coworker of hers.”
Terrance tried to imagine what that meant. “What happened with him?”
Karen hesitated a moment. “He was a jerk. He cheated on her. It’s good she’s not with him anymore, but I’m not really sure you’re a step up.”
“I’m not going to cheat on her.”
“Probably only because there’s such a small likelihood of you attracting two different women at the same time.”
Terrance gave her a teasing frown. “You know, you’re not a nice person. That’s why you can’t attract a nice guy like me, only jerks like Lance. You should probably learn more about being a good person from your friend Shannon.”
“Shannon is a nutcase.”
“Better than being mean. How are you friends with her anyway?” He paused for a moment, eyeing Karen carefully. “Shannon said you were lovers.”
Her expression was unreadable. “Is that what she said?”
“Approximately. I don’t have the transcript.”
Karen sighed. “We were roommates in college. And we did briefly explore our sexuality together.”
Terrance’s imagination took a stab at that one. “Really?”
“No! Just slow down with Shannon, okay? You’re probably just the rebound guy anyway.”
Terrance hadn’t considered that possibility. “We’re moving at the appropriate speed,” he lied.
“And try not to be a freak around her like you were here yesterday.”
“I wasn’t a freak, I just…” He briefly thought about the empowerment ceremony, and for some reason it caused anger to slowly swell within him. So he dropped the thought. “Please don’t tell her about that.” Having accidentally facilitated the escape of the woman who had killed Shannon’s friends seemed like a big secret to keep, but he really hadn’t done anything other than speak up a bit. If she was really dangerous, the whole incident seemed more like a security failure.
Karen stared at Terrance quietly for a few moments. “I’ll just hold on to it as a little ammunition in case I decide I don’t want her with you anymore.”
Karen walked off. “If you were lovers, I wasn’t going to judge!” Terrance shouted at her. After she was gone, he finally checked his email. A couple of juicy bugs had been sent his way. One user was causing a crash whenever he went to the accounts page. Terrance couldn’t think of an obvious solution to it off the top of his head, which meant he’d have to puzzle it out. There was nothing he liked more than to spend his workday on a good puzzle. He started by checking the database to see if the user had any malformed data.
“So how’d the date go?”
Terrance spun around in his chair and glared at Lance. He hated being interrupted in the middle of a thought; it always made him angry. He calmed himself, though, as the anger seemed silly. “Really good. We’re hitting it off. By the way, I don’t like your girlfriend. She’s mean.”
“Karen? I don’t know if she’s my ‘girlfriend.’ We’re just dating.”
“Oh…well, Shannon is my girlfriend now. She changed her Facebook status.”
Lance shrugged. “Seems like you two are moving kind of fast.”
“Really? Is that fast?”
Lance nodded. “When was the last time you had a girlfriend?”
It took a moment for Terrance to recall. “A wh
ile ago.”
“Well…guess you should cling to whoever you can get, then.”
“I really like her. I’m not scared of moving fast. Just sucks that I won’t get to see her again until next week, as apparently she works weekends a lot.” Her work seemed a point of contention in a number of ways, though Terrance didn’t want it to be. “Her job sounds kind of dangerous. She talked about a coworker of hers getting beheaded. Just seems kind of weird to be in a job where people get beheaded.”
“Lots of people have weird jobs. You sit there at a computer and type at it and make it do stuff. That seems weird to me.”
Terrance had trouble not taking that personally. “Everyone should know at least a little coding in this day and age. Computers are in everything, and it’s good to know how they work.”
“Nah, better system is to just let the dorks worry about it.” He chuckled. “So, what did you end up doing with that sword of yours? Ever find out what it was for?”
Even the thought of the sword back in the closet in his apartment was a weight on him. “I don’t know what it’s for. Not really even sure I should have it. You know, I think those faeries did something to me; that’s why I was all…weird the other day.”
Lance nodded. “Blame your weird behavior on faeries; that’s an excuse that will work once or twice.”
“Do you think faeries could be dangerous?”
Lance shrugged. “They do seem like something not to mess around with, unless…how attractive did you say they were, again?”
They certainly didn’t seem evil when he thought of them, but perhaps that was the effect they had on people. Then he thought of Shannon, and it seemed an easy choice. “I think I’m going to chuck that sword.”
“Might get a couple bucks for it on eBay.”
Terrance shook his head. “Just seems like something to be rid of. Things are going well, and I don’t need weirdness.”
“All right. Well, good luck on the sword-chucking.”
Lance walked off and Terrance’s phone beeped. It was a text from Shannon that read, I can’t wait the whole weekend to see you again. Think I can meet you for a brief lunch tomorrow. The text included a picture that appeared to be a close-up of Shannon’s mouth, in which she was gritting her teeth. He couldn’t help but chuckle for some reason.
That would be the greatest thing in the history of everything, Terrance typed out, and then added a close-up photo of his nose.
He noticed an ominous figure out of the corner of his eye, but it was just the demon Darlor, his supervisor, heading by Terrance’s cube with his cloak billowing after him. Nothing weird.
Chapter 7
The next few weeks were a whirlwind for Terrance. He enjoyed every moment he spent with Shannon. Every activity he did with her was fun, whether hanging at a coffee shop or wandering around the mall (something he usually had little use for, thanks to online shopping). They could talk about nothing for hours, cracking each other up constantly. Plus, he’d never known that vegging out in front of the TV could be so fulfilling; he’d just glance every so often at the beautiful woman snuggled next to him and feel like the luckiest human on the planet. And it was certainly the most passionate relationship Terrance had ever had; he could barely keep his hands off of her most of the time, and she was all over him every chance they got.
All the weirdness Terrance had recently noticed started to fade into the background again. Things were becoming normal again, even better than normal, because now he had Shannon. The only problem was her job. It still disturbed him whenever he caught brief mentions of it, but he learned not to pry, so as not to worry himself. Shannon was perfect, and if no one else seemed worried about her work, he didn’t see why he should ruin everything by obsessing about it. Still, the hours for her job were unusual, leaving Terrance to himself many nights, especially on weekends. Shannon would text, email, and call when she could, but Terrance still had plenty of time alone, and that’s when he’d think too much and start to worry about the odd things he had been noticing, wondering if they meant anything. Who was that woman they’d wanted to feed to the beast? And why was there a giant beast under an office building?
Because of all those questions that stirred in his head when he was alone, Terrance began to dread the time he was without her—except this weekend.
“The new Legendary Quest is out today,” Terrance told Lance on Friday morning while sitting in his cubicle. “We’re talking hundreds of hours of gameplay exploring a big, open world with countless side quests. It’s supposed to be everything the previous games in the series were, plus much more advanced graphics, physics, and an even larger world.”
Lance nodded. “All I heard was, ‘I’m a dork. I’m a dork. I’m a dork dork dork. Duhhh.’”
Terrance frowned. “I didn’t say, ‘Duh.’”
“Well, if you decide you might not want to be pathetic, I’m going to a club with Karen tonight, if you want to come along.”
“What in the world would I do at a club when I have girlfriend and she isn’t with me?” He never found anything to do there under any circumstances. Clubs were always so loud, one could barely talk, and dancing—well, he could not dance like no one was watching.
“You can work on your game and try to pick up some women—and there will be no pressure, since you already have a girlfriend.”
Terrance considered it for a moment. “There’s a certain logic to that…while at the same time, it’s a monumentally bad idea.”
“So I guess you’re just going to play a video game all weekend, then? Sounds kind of pathetic.”
“More so before I had a girlfriend.”
“I just can’t imagine playing video games that much. Was never that into them.”
Terrance looked at Lance with confusion. “How can you be from my generation and not be into video games? What did you do as a kid? Play sports like some caveman child?”
“Yeah, you hold on to that Shannon. I’m not sure you’re capable of meeting another woman.”
“Oh, ha ha.” Terrance turned to check on some important data on his computer screen, then yelled in shock. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
“What?” Lance tried to get a look at the screen.
“Legendary Quest…it was supposed to have shipped already so I’d get it on release day! It hasn’t shipped!”
“Well then, you’ll get it later.”
“You don’t understand! That was my weekend! I was going to play it all weekend!” He had been looking forward to this for months, having preordered it before he met Shannon and before the faerie craziness. There was nothing better than a great new video game and a whole weekend to play it—except maybe having a girlfriend. But she wasn’t going to be around, so what did Terrance have to look forward to other than playing his new game? “Hopefully I can find a store with it in stock. It’s a very popular release; it might sell out.”
“Lots of other nerds like you out there?”
“And it’s not available for digital download for some insane—possibly malicious—reason,” Terrance explained to the uncomprehending Lance. “I have to get a physical copy, or no game.” Terrance thought for a second frantically. “Maybe I can get out at lunch and pick it up at Best Buy—except I have that stupid lunch meeting. Hopefully some store will still have it in stock after work.”
Lance took a sip of his coffee. “Definitely call me after and tell me how it worked out, because this sounds really important.”
Terrance was already busily checking online to see if stores nearby had it in inventory and could hold a copy. He was determined to save his weekend.
Terrance did his best to keep his mind on work for the rest of the day, and then checked a few stores for the game on his way home. He even went to a Kmart—he couldn’t recall the last time he’d been in one of those. Every store he stopped at was sold out. So he went home, pulled up a list online of stores nearby, and began calling them to check if his game was in stock—something he hadn’t done since
he was a kid. It seemed so low-tech and inefficient, but it was the only option remaining if he wanted that game for his weekend.
His efforts were fruitless until he finally reached a Walmart in Demon’s Peak, an area Terrance hadn’t even heard of before.
“Is this the electronics department?”
There was an oddly long pause. Then a creaky voice answered, “Yes.”
“Do you have Legendary Quest in stock?”
Another long pause. Terrance’s heart nearly stopped with anticipation, and the voice finally answered, “Yes.”
Terrance could feel a squeal coming on but forced it down, as that definitely wasn’t acceptable. “Can you hold it for me?”
“We don’t do that. If you wish to have it, then you must come and get it.”
“Okay. I’ll be right there.” Terrance hung up and quickly checked Google Maps for the route to the Demon’s Peak Walmart. The directions led up into the mountains a short way out of town, then stopped a couple of miles from his destination. He pulled up the satellite image of the area, and it looked like the road terminated in an area of trees and snow, never making it all the way to the Walmart. It was odd, but Terrance cared only that they had his game.
He went to the closet to pull out his best winter coat, gloves, and a hat. Inside, sticking up from behind a backpack, he saw the hilt of the sword. He had decided a while ago to chuck the thing, as he worried about how Shannon would react if she ever saw it. But in all the excitement with her, he had mostly forgotten about it. He stared at the hilt for a while, then finally reached out and grabbed it. He figured he might as well bring it along; after all, he was on a quest.
Chapter 8
When Terrance hadn’t seen another building—or even another car—for ten minutes, he started to question the wisdom of heading to the Demon’s Peak Walmart. But with his girlfriend working and no new video game to play, what else did he have to do?
As he followed the twists and turns up the mountain roads, snowflakes began appearing on his windshield, slowly at first and then at a greater frequency, until he had the windshield wipers on maximum speed and the whole world began to disappear in the whiteness. Soon, all he could see was the snow and a few glimpses of the road lines reflecting his headlights. He began to wonder if he had headed out to his death in his little Hyundai Accent, but then the road came to an abrupt end at an impassable snow bank. Unsure what to do next, he noticed some lights to the right and drove toward them. There, barely visible through the snow, was a 7-Eleven.
Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled Page 5
