“Can I trust you?” the maid asked Lilly as she took a couple of steps towards her.
“Of course.” Lilly frowned, wondering what she intended.
“Ruth,” Mr. Sommer interjected, “I don’t know if this is wise.”
“Will you keep it away from Edith?” Ruth walked over to the pantry and retrieved the journal before handing it to Lilly.
Holding the journal, Lilly felt its tattered leather and then glanced up at Ruth. “On my life, Edith will never see this.”
“If Edith tells the major that you took the diary, he will have you arrested.” Mr. Sommer spoke to Ruth as he rubbed his eyes.
“She knows Edith.” Ruth nodded to Lilly as she spoke to Mr. Sommer. “She will know where it will best be kept secret.”
“Why did you take this, anyways?” Lilly held her conclusion in reserve.
“Honestly, I was shocked at the literature you two girls were reading. I’ve witnessed people beaten and even killed for possessing such material,” the maid scoffed, but then reached out and touched the journal. “This, however, is a death sentence should it be discovered.”
“Then should we destroy it?” Lilly shook her head as she glanced at her father.
“I read some of it,” the maid began somberly, “and some of what is written should never be destroyed. Most of it is ordinary entries, but some of what is written is, honestly, powerful. Keep it, Lilly. Keep it safe and do everything within your power to preserve it.”
Chapter Five:
The Brothers Grimm
“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.”
Aristotle
Standing in the center of the market, Lilly smiled as she looked at the shops nearby and saw a delightful blue dress in the window. It was late in the evening, and every other vendor had closed for the night, but the dress shop still had its lights on.
A cool breeze rushed through the square, and Lilly shivered as she began to rub her arms. I should get inside, she thought and tried to walk, but couldn’t move. Glancing down at her feet, her heart stopped when she noticed that they were frozen in blocks of ice.
Bending down in a panic, she slammed her fists against the ice, but it was solid. Her feet were beginning to turn black, and the frostbite slowly climbed up her legs.
Looking around for help, Lilly’s eyes flew wide when she spotted the major standing a few feet away from her and offering a cruel smile. She tried to scream but couldn’t utter a sound. She knew that he intended to kill her, but she had no means of dissuading his course. Then, removing his pistol, Major Wagner placed it to Lilly’s head and pulled the trigger.
Waking up with a start, Lilly sat upright and glanced down at her feet to find that they had come out from under the covers.
A knock came against the window, and Lilly let out a frightened gasp as she pulled her legs up against her chest. But, realizing it was merely the tree branches scraping against the window, Lilly sighed her relief mixed with annoyance.
Trying to calm her emotions, and still exhausted, Lilly mindlessly watched the shadows from the branches in the moonlight dancing eerily across their bedroom floor. Rubbing her eyes, Lilly yawned and began to convince herself to lie down again. Despite having to share a small bed, Lilly was thankful for her sister’s company, especially after such a dreadful nightmare.
A loud snore emitted from Edith, and Lilly grumpily glared at her sister, revoking all previous gratitude for her proximity. With a generous nudge, Lilly rolled Edith onto her side and, thankfully, the snoring ceased.
Just lie back down, close your eyes, and you’ll be back to sleep in no time, Lilly convinced herself, and after resuming the position with her hands held gently over her stomach, she felt sleep stretching out its welcoming arms.
Another snore erupted from Edith, and Lilly threw the covers off with a wrathful fury. Accepting that she would no longer be able to return to sleep, Lilly stood and stretched, wondering what ungodly hour it was.
I suppose I could read for a moment, Lilly thought. That sometimes does the trick in getting me drowsy enough. Oh! The journal! This is the perfect time to read it, if ever. Lilly rushed over to her suitcase and, with a glance back at Edith to make sure that she was still asleep, Lilly procured the diary from a secret pouch.
Hiding it down by her side, Lilly left the room and walked as quietly as she was able down the stairs. Still, regardless of how light she attempted to be on her feet, the old wood creaked loudly, and she thought for certain that she would’ve awoken someone in the house. If Edith’s snoring didn’t wake up Papa, then I can’t imagine the floorboards did either. Lilly rolled her eyes.
Arriving at the bottom of the stairs, Lilly listened for the sound of movement, hoping that no one had heard her. Satisfied that she was the only one awake, Lilly proceeded to the dining room and spotted a comfortable chair in the corner near the photographs.
Lighting a nearby candle with some matches, Lilly settled into the chair and opened the diary. But before she could read, Lilly felt the distressing sense that she wasn’t alone. Glancing up at the photographs, she thought that maybe the previous owners were watching her. She understood that it was important for her to remain respectful, and with a slight nod, Lilly opened the journal.
November 10, 1938
I’m scared. I don’t know how else to put it. They burned down the synagogue. I could see the fire from outside the house as it painted the clouds in an orange hue. Father says that nothing is left and that the fire department simply stood by as it went up in flames.
I’m finding it difficult to control my anger. A whole building was purposely set on fire and those who are supposed to be protecting us did nothing. I thought it was peculiar that I couldn’t hear any sirens, and I wondered if no one had contacted the fire department yet. But then I caught the look on our neighbor’s face. He lives across the street, but he’s a fireman, and the way he was smiling made me furious. I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to hit him or shame him by yelling, but I knew it would only bear ill fruit.
I should be thankful, though, that I’m still alive. Mrs. Baumann spotted me standing outside and told me it wasn’t safe. She didn’t even bother to make small talk before she rushed me back inside.
Thank goodness, too, as it was only a few hours later when men showed up at our door screaming and chanting that they didn’t want to live under the same roof as Jews any longer. I can’t sleep as I’m too worried that they’ll come back. It seems that my only company is this journal. I suppose it’s one way to try and process these terrible events.
Mrs. Baumann was able to persuade them to leave. I’m not certain how she did it, but if it’s anything like my experience with her, they probably couldn’t wait to get away. I do feel awful because she is rather kind, but, well, oh it doesn’t matter.
I shouldn’t complain that she can be a bit annoying. When the grocer refused to sell food to Papa, Mrs. Baumann marched down there and paid for the items herself. She declined payment from Papa in return as well.
She came by later this evening to make sure we were alright. Truth is, I’m not. I still don’t understand why this is happening. Five years ago, our synagogue pledged loyalty to Germany. It baffles me that it was even required, but I understand that they were trying to quell Nazi reservations about Jewish allegiances.
Many, including Professor Jacobsohn, were campaigning for the unification of Judaism and Germanness, and I felt that they had made significant progress.
“That’s the man who committed suicide at the station!” Lilly spoke aloud.
Why then, has no one believed us? At this point I don’t think they’ll listen to anything we have to say. They listen to Hitler without question, then throw people like my family, whom they’ve known their whole lives, out the window like we didn’t matter.
Papa thought the anti-Semitism would blow over. Many did. He even thought Hitler was good for the country. Some Jewish friends of mine supported him as well, will
ing to overlook his questionable attitude towards us. I think they regret not speaking out sooner, but they had no idea what this would become. Regardless, I think we missed our chance to escape.
I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet. I went to the dentist a couple days ago for my appointment as my tooth was killing me, and the dentist warned me not to return home by the same route. He told me to go via the palace. It was a long walk, but I listened to his suggestion. He mentioned there were bad people around, and if I was alone something unpleasant could occur. I didn’t fully know what he meant, but still, I listened out of fear.
It was considerate of him to warn me, and despite how many bad people there are here, there are still some which show us compassion. Unfortunately, they can’t do much more than well wishes and I fear, in the end, that it won’t be enough.
The stairs creaked, and Lilly threw the journal behind her back. To her relief, it was only her father, yet she found it odd that he was fully dressed and even had his hat on. It was still dark out, and Lilly wondered where he could possibly be going at this time.
With his gaze at his feet, Mr. Sommer wouldn’t have noticed Lilly had it not been for the candle beside her. With a double take, Mr. Sommer was caught off guard, and Lilly realized that she had discovered him in some compromising activity.
“What are you doing awake?” Mr. Sommer asked as he walked slowly into the dining room and removed his hat.
“Reading,” Lilly replied quickly.
“Reading?” he asked.
“Yes.” She nodded.
“Reading what?” He scanned her suspiciously.
“This.” Lilly swallowed as she retrieved the journal from behind her.
“Lilly”—her father sighed in his disappointment—“what if it was Edith down here instead of me?”
Lilly didn’t reply as she glanced away, realizing how foolish she had been.
“Look”—Mr. Sommer took one of the chairs from the dining table and sat down in front of her—“I need you to be careful.”
“I know.” Lilly nodded.
“No, you don’t.” Mr. Sommer’s eyes flew wide, indicating that her present situation proved otherwise. “You need to plan out your fabrications. Before you do anything, have a solid story in place.”
“You’re right.” Lilly rubbed her eyes. “So, where are you off to? What’s your story?”
“I have an infection in my groin that needs to be checked out and, unfortunately, it can’t wait any longer,” Mr. Sommer spoke solemnly, and Lilly was shocked by the admission of this intimate detail.
“You…really?” Lilly studied her father as she held her conclusion in reserve.
“No, not at all”—Mr. Sommer tilted his head—“but if you are ever questioned about your activity by the police or the SS, then make something up that is embarrassing that puts them on the back foot. Use your monthly womanly time, for example.”
“My womanly time?” Lilly raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.
“You know what I mean!” Mr. Sommer growled. “There’s not a man in the world who wouldn’t be embarrassed, and even now, I’m as uncomfortable as I’ve ever been. Plus, they’ve never experienced what you’re going through with your…you know…so they can’t tell if you’re lying or not.”
“I suppose.” Lilly yawned, feeling the burden of the night’s interruptions.
“Listen, my dear,” Mr. Sommer leaned over and took her hand in his, “I think we’re both of the same persuasion, if you understand me, but Edith may need some more encouraging.”
“I’m worried about her.” Lilly shook her head. “You should’ve seen her in the market yesterday.”
“Why? What happened?” Mr. Sommer asked with grave concern.
“I’m not able to share what occurred quite yet,” Lilly replied as she felt her shoulders tightening, “but Edith’s detachment concerns me.”
“She inherited that from me, I suppose.” Mr. Sommer fidgeted with his hat nervously.
“What do you mean?”
“I struggle to empathize.” He chuckled slightly to brush away the awkwardness. “I think logically, and I view the world through a rational lens, but still, I strive to apply what comes so naturally to you.”
“And what’s that?” Lilly asked, relishing in this informal discussion with her father. He so rarely communicated his mindset adequately, and at this moment, she believed to be witnessing the unfiltered Karl Sommer.
“Empathy.” Mr. Sommer smiled. “It’s so important to be ruled by more than just intellect”—he pointed to his head—“and I wish the world were more like you: balanced, and able to be guided by the heart as well.” He pointed to his chest.
“I didn’t believe you could be so sentimental.” Lilly grinned as she looked intently into her father’s eyes.
“Well, I should be going.” Mr. Sommer stood and returned the chair to the table.
“Where are you going, by the way?” Lilly squinted.
“For your sake, Lilly, all you need to know is that I’m going to get the embarrassing infection inspected.” Mr. Sommer put his hat back on and briskly exited the house.
◆◆◆
Later that evening
The clock ticked patiently as Lilly, Mr. Sommer, and Edith sat in the dining room awaiting their guests. While Lilly and Mr. Sommer seemed to be, as her father had put it, “of the same persuasion,” she wondered how she would be able to stomach a single bite in the major’s presence.
Although, she figured that if the food tasted as good as it smelled, then she might be able to overcome her revulsion. Pots and pans bonked and clanked in the kitchen, and Lilly wondered what Ruth was making.
Their previous maid in Berlin was a fabulous cook, and Lilly was disheartened to have lost her wonderful services with their move. She was a sweet, elderly lady who barely spoke a word to them. Lilly thought that she was nothing more than bolts and wires as she was so automatic in her mannerisms. She would cook, set the table, clean, do all the chores, and then leave for the evening without ever saying but a word to them, and Lilly began to assume she was mute.
“What are you wearing?” Edith frowned at Lilly.
“A dress.” Lilly glanced down at her own attire.
“But it’s so…white.” Edith squinted. “You’re trying to impress Wil—”
“Edith!” Lilly barked, warning her not to speak another word of her affections in the presence of their father.
“You look like you’re getting married.” Edith chuckled as she mocked Lilly. “All you’re missing is the veil.”
“Please, Edith,” Lilly began in a sarcastic tone, “I can’t handle another compliment.”
“It wasn’t intended as one.” Edith narrowed her gaze.
“My dear sister, it’s best to take everything as a compliment. Life is much simpler that way.”
A knock came to the door, and Edith jumped into action.
“Papa!” Edith nodded for him to follow her. “It’s proper that you’re with me when I answer the door!”
“I’d certainly hate to offend.” Mr. Sommer offered a wink to Lilly as he stood and followed Edith.
I feel silly just sitting here by myself, Lilly thought as she stood and followed them as well. I do hope Wilhelm arrives soon. I could use his company. I hope that he notices my dress. That’s selfish to think, especially at a time like this, but I could use the distraction.
Swiftly, Mr. Sommer opened the door as he and Edith stood respectfully near the entrance while Lilly remained at a distance in the foyer. She still felt a little out of place and wasn’t entirely sure how to behave or even where to place her hands. Her stomach began to churn, and her breathing labored as she dreaded what was about to happen.
“Heil Hitler! I hope we’re not too early?” the major spoke respectfully, and even the sound of his voice made Lilly want to disappear.
“Not at all,” Mr. Sommer replied cheerfully, but refrained from offering the Nazi salute. “I rather respect punctuality.”<
br />
“Agreed! We brought you a gift!”
A gift? Lilly frowned as she tried to peer past her father at whatever the officer had brought.
“That’s rather thoughtful of you.” Mr. Sommer attempted to sound grateful, but Lilly caught the slight inflection in his voice that he might not be so grateful.
“I’ll just place this inside.” Mr. Sommer turned and, to Lilly’s horror, yet showing amusement at his struggles, he was holding a large portrait of Hitler.
It was so large, in fact, that it nearly covered his entire torso. It would’ve been humorous if not for the subject matter and the added fact that Mr. Sommer had strictly forbidden such portraits to be used in their home in Berlin. He had labeled it as “degenerative cult worship” but made sure the girls knew not to repeat his sentiments.
Setting the picture down by the door, Mr. Sommer offered Lilly a glance of regret for the pain that he was enduring.
“Come in, come in.” Edith waved as Major Wagner and Sergeant Wolf entered the property while inspecting their surroundings with great interest.
Again, Lilly noticed that the major’s uniform was in perfect order. With shiny black books, a heavy, brown jacket, and a hat that he quickly removed, Major Wagner was the depiction of the perfect soldier. Sergeant Wolf, on the other hand, was not as keen as his counterpart. Not that he was disheveled, but it was clear that his green police uniform had endured years of wear and tear.
“You haven’t disposed of their old belongings yet?” Wagner frowned with disgust.
“They only arrived a couple days ago,” Wolf defended on their behalf, and Lilly wondered if he, too, was of the same “persuasion.”
“Someone from the Reich Chamber of Culture is attending soon. I received a request not to disturb any of the valuables that they may want to inspect,” Mr. Sommer also defended.
The Daughters of Marburg Page 8
