“Understood,” Lilly sighed.
I wonder if that’s why Mrs. Baumann was so downcast earlier? Lilly pondered. She’s probably worried sick thinking about all the dangerous work that we’d be involved with. Not only are we going to an illegal dance, which she also seemed to be aware of, but we’re actively engaged in resistance work.
“Everyone in?” Wilhelm asked as he retrieved a cigarette.
But when Wilhelm caught Lilly’s disgusted look for his habit, he returned the smoke to its case. Astonished, Lilly studied him as though she were inspecting another person altogether.
“You’re not having one?” Lilly asked as she slowly sat beside him.
“If I ever see you make that face again, it will break my heart,” Wilhelm replied and, while the sentiment was a touch common, Lilly couldn’t refuse a smile.
“What are you waiting for?” Ursula tapped Wilhelm’s shoulder. “Let’s go!”
“Sorry, I move a bit slower since I quit smoking.” He winked at Lilly.
“Give them to me then.” Ursula held out her hand.
“No!” Wilhelm withdrew and shoved the case into his breast pocket.
“Why not?! I thought you quit?” Ursula tilted her head, and Lilly nodded in agreement.
“I did.” Wilhelm swallowed, and Lilly thought he was perhaps searching for a plausible excuse. “But you never know. I may need one in the future.”
“Give them!” Ursula leaned over the front and snagged the casing out of Wilhelm’s pocket before he could react.
“Are you at least going to pay for them?” Wilhelm grumbled.
“We’re going to be late!” Ursula shifted the subject as she slumped back with the other girls.
“Let’s get going.” Lilly patted Wilhelm’s arm in encouragement.
“She’s paying for those.” Wilhelm held up a finger in warning as he delivered an angry foot against the gas pedal.
“Of course she will,” Lilly replied unconvincingly.
“I’ll need you to be my eyes tonight, by the way.” Wilhelm glanced at Lilly. “Driving while colorblind is rather interesting, especially at night.”
“Should you even be driving?!” Lilly’s eyes flew wide.
“I’m perfectly suited to be driving.” Wilhelm nodded adamantly, which Lilly found dangerously arrogant. “I just need your assistance, is all.”
“I’m not even sure where we’re going.” Lilly turned her attention to the road as she watched with eyes peeled.
“I’m familiar with the route. Just make sure I stay on the road.”
“I can’t tell Papa about this,” Lilly muttered under her breath. I can imagine the lecture we’d receive.
“How is your father doing?” Wilhelm asked.
“Stable.” Lilly glanced quickly at Wilhelm before returning her attention to the road. “Thanks for your help with the movers.”
“My pleasure.” Wilhelm smiled at her. “Did they ruin anything of yours?”
“I’m not sure. I foolishly had a nap after we put Father back in bed, so I didn’t have an opportunity to inspect. Of course, Edith rudely woke me up with only minutes to spare before the meeting.”
“Is she going to be alright?” Wilhelm indicated to her sister, and Lilly looked over at Edith to find that she was already asleep with her head against the window.
“She’s wiped.” Lilly smiled at the sight of her sister passed out. She was happy that the two were back in each other’s good graces and prayed that they would never be distant again.
“I lost you after the film, Lilly,” Ursula spoke up, and Lilly turned in her seat as she faced her new friend.
“Yeah, same. There’s not that many girls in the Society, but sometimes it feels like there are hundreds. We got separated in the chaos. What group did you choose?”
“I chose home economics.”
“Oh! Us too!” Lilly grew excited.
“That’s fantastic!” Ursula patted Lilly’s arm repeatedly in a state of elated frenzy.
“I desperately need to learn how to cook.” Lilly giggled.
“Same here!” Ursula threw a hand onto her chest. “I’d never land a husband on looks alone.”
“Stop that!” Lilly gave a light slap on Ursula’s shoulder. “You’re gorgeous.”
“I’m too tall”—Ursula shrugged— “but I’m alright with that. Maybe I’ll meet someone at the dance who prefers taller girls.”
“Where is this dance anyways?” Lilly asked and looked out the window as they drove through the dark of night, not recognizing any of the markings and half remembering Wilhelm’s requirement for assistance.
“It’s in an old barn house, just outside of Marburg,” Wilhelm replied, but then leaned over and whispered, “Is that a dirt road up ahead?”
“I believe so?” Lilly squinted in the darkness.
“That’s good enough for me.” Wilhelm turned off the highway and, to Lilly’s relief, onto a dirt road.
“What if I was wrong?!” Lilly slapped Wilhelm’s arm.
“Doesn’t matter. You weren’t.” Wilhelm grinned back at Lilly and offered a quick wink.
“It’s my cousin’s barn, actually.” Ursula continued as she leaned forward.
“And your cousin is alright with this?” Lilly asked.
“It was her suggestion.” Ursula laughed.
“Really?” Lilly frowned.
“She used to dance all the time,” Ursula continued, “but now that all other youth groups are illegal, our only option is to dance in secret.”
“You’re an interesting girl, Ursula.” Lilly squinted.
“How so?”
“You express exactly what the leaders want to hear, and you sound so convincing, but then you drag us along to this secret, illegal dance. I’m not sure that I’ve quite figured you out yet.”
“I hope that you never will.” Ursula held her chin high. “That would be boring otherwise.”
“Do you believe what you say?” Lilly pressed, remembering Mrs. Muller’s warning to Ursula, and Wilhelm offered her a cautionary glance.
“Some of it, sure.” Ursula grew introspective. “To be honest, I’m not entirely certain of what I’m saying half the time. I just have a good memory. Irma, on the other hand, believes it through and through.”
“Yeah, I remember that she turned her own parents in!” Lilly shuddered. “Those poor people were shot in the market because of her.”
“Wait? You saw the execution?” Ursula grew morbidly excited.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Lilly replied.
“Was there lots of blood?” Ursula relished in the hope for gory details.
“That’s macabre!” Lilly turned to Ursula sharply.
“Hold on”—Ursula watched Lilly intently— “you’re not a Jew sympathizer, are you?”
“Of course not!” Lilly lied and felt a sting in her soul for the denouncement. “But I sure as hell didn’t take any pleasure from watching a family murdered.”
“But they’re Jews.” Ursula shook her head. “They’re the whole reason our country is in such a poor state.”
“Let’s shift the subject, shall we?” Wilhelm came to Lilly’s rescue.
“No, no.” Ursula grew cross. “I need to know what she really thinks. I’m not having a Jew lover come into the barn.”
“What are we arguing about?” Edith turned in her seat as she kept her eyes closed.
“Your sister is a Jew sympathizer,” Ursula spoke plainly as she held a harsh gaze on Lilly.
“We’ve settled into a Jewish house to Aryanize it.” Edith sat upright and gave a sharp yet tired look at Ursula. “We’re ridding the Jewish stain in Marburg. What have you done in comparison?”
“I believe you, Edith, don’t worry,” Ursula scoffed. “It’s Lilly that I don’t trust.”
“If you trust me, then you can trust her,” Edith defended.
“I’m—” Ursula began.
“I said”—Edith held up a finger— “if you can trust
me, then you can trust her. That’s the end of it.”
With a huff, Ursula relented and sat back with the other girls.
Glancing in the rear-view mirror, Lilly caught Ursula’s glare and understood that she would swiftly find herself in serious trouble if she didn’t prove her loyalties. Especially with the major as Ursula’s uncle, Lilly recognized that her position was precarious at best.
“This is it.” Wilhelm tried to sound cheerful, but his voice cracked slightly due to the tension in the vehicle.
Arriving near an old, brown barn that Lilly was surprised was still standing upright, Wilhelm turned off the vehicle and shut off the lights. With the vehicle off, Lilly could hear laughter and a guitar playing, which was accompanied by some loud, tone-deaf singing, and then she noticed the faint glow from a dim light inside the barn.
Closing her eyes, Lilly listened for a moment with a large grin. How she missed dancing in Berlin. She missed the music, the sounds, the sights, and, most of all, she missed the carelessness. Nothing else in the world mattered when she was in those moments. While she understood that they were fleeting and held little weight, Lilly realized just how much she missed those experiences.
“Are you coming?” Edith asked as she held the door open.
“Yep!” Lilly sprung into action and nearly burst out of the vehicle.
“Careful,” Wilhelm warned. “The snow is rather thick out here.”
Just as the caution left his mouth, Wilhelm took a bold step forward, and his entire leg disappeared into the snow as he fell helplessly forward.
Snorting at the comical way he fell, and, of course, the perfect timing after he had only just warned them, Lilly could barely contain herself.
“Help me up!” Wilhelm panicked.
Arriving to assist him, Lilly grabbed onto his outstretched arm and, while she did offer a decent attempt at pulling him to safety, she was, unfortunately, laughing too hard to be of any use.
“Here, let me,” Ursula spoke plainly as she latched onto Wilhelm and, with a generous heave, drew him out of the little snowy hill.
“Thank you.” Wilhelm brushed himself off but offered Lilly an unappreciative glance for her amusement at his expense.
“I’m sorry. Are you alright?” Lilly asked with a lingering, persistent giggle.
“Thanks to Ursula, yes.” Wilhelm cleared his throat and walked with his head held high in an attempt to regain some of his pride.
“Hey.” Lilly tapped Ursula’s shoulder, hoping to ease the tension between them. “Thanks for the help, and thanks for inviting us.”
Ursula didn’t reply as she studied Lilly indifferently before returning her attention to her friends.
That’s going to be a long road back to get into her good graces again, Lilly thought.
Entering the barn, Lilly’s heart erupted with exhilaration. Tables and chairs were set around the outer area while a vibrant dance floor was in the middle. Unlike many awkward dances she had attended in the past, not a single person was watching timidly from the sidelines.
“Do you want to dance?” Lilly grabbed Wilhelm’s hand.
“You’ll just laugh at me.” Wilhelm refused to look her in the eyes.
“Oh, come on.” Lilly tugged at his sleeve. “You know that was funny. Now, did you come here to brood, or did you come here to dance?”
“Oh, I don’t—”
“Remember the plan!” Edith interrupted as she whispered harshly.
“Just a couple dances!” Lilly pleaded with Edith while still holding Wilhelm’s hand. “You said that we needed to make an appearance.”
“Alright, go!” Edith waved for them to leave. “I’ll stand watch outside.”
“Outside?!” Lilly snickered. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“This place is disturbingly unguarded. What if we had a less liberal attitude?” Edith grew annoyed. “Everyone in here would’ve been arrested. I’m not letting that happen to us.”
“Don’t you want to dance, though?” Lilly asked Edith.
“No, I’ll be fine. I promise. Go, take your man and enjoy the night. We don’t know how many of these we’ll have left.”
“I haven’t agreed to any—” Wilhelm began, but Lilly yanked on his hand as she pulled him into the center of the dance floor.
“Are those French songs?” Lilly asked giddily as she was intertwined with Wilhelm who, she was disappointed to find, was terribly awkward.
“His mother was French.” Wilhelm glanced over at the man with the guitar singing proudly. “She taught him some songs.”
“What’s wrong?” Lilly asked as she continued to dance freely, yet he seemed to be tied down by metal shoes. “Is this because of outside?”
“No, I’m just not much of a dancer, is all.” He began to turn red and looked sheepishly at those around him. “I told you that you’d only laugh at me.”
“Hey.” Lilly stopped and put her hand to his cheek and held it caringly. “Don’t worry about them. It’s just me and you. Nobody is looking at you. They’re all looking at each other. The only one you have to worry about is me.”
Wilhelm grinned as he looked down at her and, taking her hands in his, he spoke softly, “That’s what my mother used to say when I’d be nervous. If I had to give a speech in school, she told me to focus on one point or person.”
“Mine too!” Lilly shot her head back in surprise, and a happy yet sorrowful tear formed. “Now, dance with me.”
Without further encouragement, Wilhelm relented and began to dance with greater liberation. He was still terrible, and Lilly couldn’t contain a hidden giggle or two at his expense, but he was at least enjoying himself. That was all that counted to her.
Abruptly, the music ceased, and a collective groan arose from the dancers who wondered why the guitarist had stopped. Then, Lilly spotted some lights streaming from a couple of vehicles outside and approaching the barn.
“Who’s that?!” Lilly clung to Wilhelm.
“I don’t know!” Wilhelm stared at the main door in terror. “This place has been kept secret for years.”
The bar grew entirely silent as everyone listened for any indication that it was SS or someone of ill intent. Lilly could hear Edith’s muffled demands coming through the rickety door, and by her sister’s tone, Lilly assumed the worst.
Then, suddenly, the door burst open, and three Hitler Youth entered. Lilly hoped that they were there for the dance and not with the intention to report them. She could sense that the rest of the barn was praying adamantly as they watched these boys that, clearly, they were not familiar with.
Eventually, one of the boys walked over to Edith, who had trailed them inside, and, to everyone’s shock, asked her to dance.
Edith, however, drew her hand into a fist in warning, and the barn erupted into laughter at his rejection. Immediately, the guitarist resumed strumming and singing liberally as everyone returned to dancing.
“She doesn’t seem very interested in men.” Wilhelm watched Edith curiously as they danced.
“Those are boys, not men,” Lilly replied with a little giggle. “She prefers those who are older and, well, more mature. She doesn’t have much patience for stupidity.”
“Poor thing. Eventually, she’ll find out our secret.”
“What’s that?” Lilly tilted her head.
“All men are stupid!” Wilhelm burst into a laugh.
“Not my papa.” Lilly shook her head.
“Of course not.” Wilhelm offered a playful scowl as he amended his statement.
“Should we get going, then?” Lilly asked when the guitarist finished the song, and everyone clapped in their approval.
“Maybe a couple more songs?” Wilhelm shrugged.
“Yes, please!” Lilly threw her arms around him.
The two continued to dance as Lilly lost herself to the night, and Wilhelm began to thoroughly enjoy himself. His movements grew less clumsy, and he seemed to focus entirely on Lilly as she, in turn, could think of nothing el
se but Wilhelm. The terrible things that she had witnessed, the cruelty of the major, and the burden on her conscience all evaporated as she danced with reckless abandon.
The sweat rolled off of her forehead as she became exhausted. The heat from all the bodies dancing swelled the little barn with warmth, but Lilly didn’t care. She wanted for nothing else than for this night to last forever.
But, as the guitarist finally stopped for his last song, Lilly knew it had to end. With a generous clap of approval, Lilly showed her appreciation to the guitarist for providing them with such wonderful music.
“That’s our cue.” Edith shoved her way onto the dance floor and grabbed Lilly by the arm.
Without hesitation, Lilly agreed that they should turn their focus onto greater things. Still, Lilly felt that a part of her had been left on that dance floor. What she experienced with Wilhelm this night was different than any other experience with the opposite sex. She didn’t feel the sudden and impulsive urge to kiss him, but rather, she wanted to know him on a deeper level. It was like the kindling of a friendship, but one that was unique in that it also carried a romance. She didn’t quite know what to make of it but knew it was something truly special.
“Be careful,” Lilly began with a cheeky grin. “I hear the snow is surprisingly deep here.”
“I’m not going to live that down anytime soon, am I?” Wilhelm chuckled.
“Just push her in and call it even.” Edith let a hearty laugh escape.
“Don’t you dare!” Lilly offered a stern warning to Wilhelm.
“I wasn’t going to!” Wilhelm grew defensive.
“So, what’s the plan then?” Lilly asked when the three climbed in the vehicle and, by habit, sat in the front, although there was ample room in the back. “Also, are Ursula and the other girls making other arrangements for transportation?”
“Ursula can rot for all I care,” Wilhelm spoke with such menace that Lilly looked at him in shock.
“Glad to see we feel the same way about her.” Edith chuckled. “She did, at least, provide us with some intel on her uncle. She mentioned that the major is dining with Clementine tomorrow evening in the market.”
“What’s the plan for tonight, though?” Lilly asked.
The Daughters of Marburg Page 20
