The bus honked.
Steve, the driver, shifted gears and the wheels started to roll. Any possible escape plan was rendered useless. I’d be stuck on the bus with Billy for another six hours until the next stop in Sacramento. The band was playing there before heading to Portland.
“Yeah, bird?” Wary green eyes watched me.
Sweat dotted my forehead. “Before I tell you, I want you to remember that I’m an adult now and I’m capable of making adult decisions.”
“I already don’t like where this is going,” said Billy.
Silence reigned on the bus. I could do this. I could do this. I could do this. Breaking glass near the back stole my attention. My brow furrowed.
“Billy we forgot about our surprise for Addy,” Daisy piped up.
“It can wait,” Billy said, snagging Daisy’s wrist. He pulled her down to sit on his lap. “Addy was just about to tell me something important. What’s going on, bird? Did you flunk out of college or something? You know I don’t care about that. You got street smarts. That’s all that matters.” He propped his chin on Daisy’s shoulder.
“Uh, no,” I muttered. “Nothing like that.”
Another crash. What in the world? My feet moved with a mind of their own. “You didn’t get another dog, did you?” I peered over my shoulder at Daisy. “Tell me you didn’t let him get an animal.”
Daisy shook her head, eyes wide. When I was eleven Billy had decided to adopt a dog to teach me responsibility; he’d read an article about it on the internet. He’d bought a puppy from Craigslist. The dog was supposed to be a miniature golden spaniel, something cute and small, manageable on the road. Instead, it turned out to be a St. Bernard, a huge, drooling, massive beast. I named him Sergeant Pepper, and we had a magical sort of love affair. He toured with us for four years then came to live with me at Gabe’s house. I was devastated when he died and swore to never have another pet again.
“We didn’t get a dog,” Billy hollered. “But there’s definitely an animal back there.”
Just as I reached for it, the curtain parted. I drank in blond hair and blue eyes. My all-American ex and pretend boyfriend stood in front of me, his hands cradling a frame with no glass. “Uh, sorry, Billy, I broke your picture. Wasn’t expecting for the bus to start up when it did.” He turned a megawatt smile to me, its radiance blinding. “Hey, Addy. Surprise,” he said, right before enveloping me in a tight hug.
I held onto Gabe a little longer than necessary. My limbs suddenly refused to work. Gabe’s hands rubbed up and down my back.
“We thought it might be nice to have Gabe come a little early before we met up with his parents in Portland,” Daisy said next to me.
“It was my idea,” Billy hollered.
Daisy spoke under her breath so Billy couldn’t hear. “I tried to convince him not to. But you know Billy, once he sets his mind on something…”
I fisted Gabe’s long-sleeved shirt in my hands, too afraid to turn around. If I did, Billy might see the look on my face, a deer caught in the headlights. Things had just gotten a lot more complicated. I blamed myself. Who else could I blame? Oh, what a tangled web I’d weaved. Suddenly, I felt like a very, very bad person. I’d lied to Billy. I’d lied to Warren. I lied to Gabe. I’d lied to everyone who meant anything to me. Tears welled in my eyes.
“Hey.” Gabe’s thumb stroked my chin. His touch didn’t ignite like Warren’s did, but it did comfort. Gabe’s mouth went to my ear. “Billy’s looking at us funny. Tell him we have some catching up to do.”
My chin quivered but my voice didn’t as I spoke. “Gabe and I have some catching up to do.” Gabe stepped back, I went with him and we closed the door, shielding us from my father and Daisy and the band.
Usually the couch was pulled out into a bed, but today it had been left intact. Gabe let go of me and slumped on the velvet upholstery, legs splayed. Lily called this manspreading, a position to make way for a male’s genitalia. He crossed his arms. “Something tells me you’re not happy to see me. Was I wrong when I heard you invite me on this tour?”
“I’m happy to see you,” I said, smiling bravely.
“The tears and snotty nose say otherwise.”
I sat down across from him, twisting and turning my hands in my lap. “I’ve made a mess of things.”
Gabe snorted. “What else is new?”
I gave him a mean look.
He held up his hands. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on, and I’ll help you sort it out? It can’t be as bad as Europe.”
I sucked in a breath. Through the door, I heard the television click on and Billy muttering to Daisy. Someone strummed a guitar. I played with the ends of my hair and told Gabe everything. When I was done, Gabe was quiet for a moment. I dared a peek up and his cheeks were flushed with anger, a mix of surprise and embarrassment. He whistled low. “So Billy thinks I’m your boyfriend.”
I nodded.
“But you’ve been with Warren this whole time?”
Another nod.
“And Billy still doesn’t know about Europe?”
Nod.
“And Warren doesn’t know about after Europe?”
I turned my chin. Gabe went quiet. Seconds, minutes ticked by. Finally, I got sick of it. “Say something,” I demanded.
Gabe popped out of his seat, pacing the tiny length of the room. He ran an agitated hand through his hair. “What do you want me to say, Addy? I’m pissed, okay?”
I blinked, surprised. Gabe never got mad, at least not at me.
He pointed at his broad chest. “You know, I have feelings, too.” He collapsed back onto the sofa and rubbed his temples. “Just when I think I’m getting over you, you pull me back into your schemes.”
I slid from the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest, wanting to make myself as small as I felt. “I’m sorry.”
His chin lifted as he inhaled sharply. “Just do me a favor, no more calling me. You gotta leave me out of this shit. I can’t do this anymore, with you or Lily. You two need to get your heads on straight.”
I placed my chin on my knees.
Gabe wasn’t done. He opened his mouth and I prepared for more castigation. A loud knock on the doorframe interrupted us. Billy’s voice boomed through the curtain. “You two done getting reacquainted? We’re going to stop for lunch in a few minutes. There’s a truck stop Jett swears has the best chili fries coming up.”
I swallowed. “We’ll be out in a minute.”
“Good. Also, Daisy and I had sex on that couch this morning.”
Gabe jumped from the sofa, wiping his hands on his jeans. I popped up from the floor. Yuck.
“Billy,” Daisy admonished.
“What? I can’t have them getting it on back there. That’s our love nest.” Billy’s voice faded to the front of the bus.
“Your dad is really something else, Addy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Like Pete and Mel don’t have sex.”
Gabe took great offense. “My parents don’t do that.” Oh, my God, he couldn’t even say the word ‘sex.’
I laughed. “What? Have sex? How’d they have you then? They boinked at least once.”
He huffed and looked at the ceiling, as if asking God for guidance or patience, one of the two. “I never should’ve fallen in love with a rock star’s kid.” He meant it as a joke, but it cut like a knife. It hurt to breathe. Gabe stepped through the curtain. I was alone. Alone was bad—in the semi-dark and quiet, I couldn’t stop my thoughts.
Maybe I was more like my father than I’d ever considered. Flighty. Stubborn. Selfish. I had trouble committing. Enrolled in college, I had yet to pick a major. I changed classes every term, determined on some new career path.
Even when Warren and I were married, I’d always had one foot out the door—ready to run at any sign of trouble. Then I’d iced Warren out, unwilling to communicate. Not giving him the benefit of the doubt, as I’d demanded others give me. Because I knew I was right. Billy had the same holier-than-thou at
titude sometimes. Yeah, I was definitely my father’s daughter, and it was terrifying.
During lunch, I was subdued. So was Gabe. Billy didn’t do well with the silence, or our petulant attitudes.
“You two have a fight or something?” he asked, reaching for Daisy’s fries.
Contrary to Jett’s promise, the diner did not have the best chili steak fries ever. Chord and Turner had taken one bite of the pale brown concoction and hightailed it back to the bus, clutching their stomachs. Jett, on the other hand, smiled, rubbed his hands together and said, “More for me.”
Now I watched as Jett devoured his second helping of chili fries. My mouth screwed up in a grimace.
Fingers snapped in front of my face. “Little bird.”
I jerked my gaze to Billy. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You two have a fight?” he asked again.
Beside me, Gabe stiffened, his hamburger untouched. Gabe always had an obscene appetite. I’d seen him put down six hotdogs in under five minutes. I’d driven my ex-boyfriend to a hunger strike.
I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, scrambling for an answer, an excuse. Daisy nudged Billy. “That’s none of our business,” she said.
Billy sneered. “Course it’s my business. We’re talking about my kid here and the man who’s supposed to be making her happy. But she doesn’t look too happy now, does she, Jett?”
Mouth full of fries, Jett answered, “Looks sad, man. Addy looks sad.” At that, Billy cracked his knuckles. Gabe went white as a sheet. Thanks, Uncle Jett.
I cleared my throat. “Daisy’s right, it’s none of your business.” My hand covered Gabe’s white-knuckled fist on the table, a demonstration of our solidarity. If we weren’t good on the inside, we’d at least present a united front on the outside.
Billy’s face grew mulish. He was winding up, getting ready to unleash an epic tantrum. Two-year-olds had nothing on him.
“Billy,” Daisy said, her voice the epitome of calm, loving. “Remember how we were talking about boundaries?”
“She’s my kid.” This said through his teeth.
“I know, honey. But some things you have to let her work out on her own. You can’t fix everything.”
“Fine.” Billy stood, taking Daisy with him. As he left, he dropped a black Amex card on Gabe’s plate. “You get a hotel room tonight, on me. Work your shit out before our family dinner. I don’t want anything going wrong then. It’s going to be a real classy night.”
Daisy gathered up her purse and coat, saying, “He’s been a real pill since he quit smoking. It’s not you.” She patted my shoulder as she left.
I slumped back, letting my head rest on the booth. There were brown and yellow water stains on the ceiling.
“You should tell him you’re back together with Warren.”
I jerked upright and stared at Jett. My mouth dropped open. “How do you know that?”
Jett smiled, cheeks full of chili fries and God knows what else. “Everybody knows except your old man. That sod is blind when it comes to you. Thinks you’re an angel. But we both know that ain’t true. You were born to raise hell just like your pop.”
I felt my face drain of color. “Everybody knows?”
“Course they do,” Jett said. “You and Warren could start a fire with the looks you throw each other’s way. Nobody has said anything because we know Billy will go off the rails.” Jett wiped his mouth. He grunted in satisfaction, stood and yanked a couple hundred-dollar bills from his pocket, dropping them to the center of the table. “Take it from me, kid, tell the old man. The longer you wait, the worse it’s going to be.” Jett replaced his ball cap—he always removed it when we ate—and left, signing autographs on his way out the door.
Gabe pushed his plate away and fingered the black Amex card. “We are not getting a hotel room tonight.”
Outside, the tour buses honked. No doubt Billy was anxious to get back on the road. My eyes stung. It hurt to look at him, to see the disappointment and anger in his expression. “I get it, Gabe. You can’t stand to be around me. Soon as we get to Sacramento, you can book a flight home. I’ll make up some excuse to Billy.”
Gabe exhaled. “Think I haven’t checked flights already? Everything is sold out. The only thing left is the Greyhound, and I’m not riding some shitty bus for sixteen hours, sitting next to some sweaty cheapskate.” That wasn’t very fair. The bus was a very economical form of transportation, and Gabe was being rather discriminatory. I doubted he’d appreciate my thoughts on the matter. I kept my lips zipped tight. “Like it or not, we’re stuck with each other for the next few days. I’ll get my own room tonight and I don’t need your dad to pay for it.” That said, Gabe scooted from the booth, leaving the Amex card and a whole bunch of uneaten food on the table.
I placed my hands around my coffee cup, flexing my fingers. I didn’t want to get back on the bus. For obvious reasons. My phone chirped with an incoming text. It was Warren. He’d sent one word: Tonight.
I shivered and at the same time felt warmth pool in my belly. I wanted Warren. I wanted him more than anything: food, water, air. Was this what addiction felt like? I was willing to do anything for him. Lie to my father. Burn down my friendship with Gabe. It didn’t matter who got in my way, or what I had to do. A warning light in my head blinked: danger, danger, danger. But I was past the point of reason. Warren Price was my own personal drug.
Kelly returned from the bathroom. Hands still damp, he wiped them on his jeans. “What’d I miss? Where did everyone go?”
“Nothing,” I lied with a grimace. I closed my eyes, searching for a calm, happy place. All I saw was Warren.
When we pulled near the arena, the streets were lined with fans. Barely dressed women held up glittery signs declaring their love for their favorite band member. Once through the gates, Billy and the band deboarded for sound check. Gabe also checked out, leaving me behind with Kelly.
I turned to my murse. “Your services won’t be needed tonight.”
The jolly blond giant studied me. “Going to see that husband of yours, are you?”
I glanced around, making sure we were alone. “Yes.”
“All right, I’ll make myself scarce after the concert. But you stay on the Wild Minds bus or with Warren and his security team. Don’t get me fired.” He pointed at me.
I gave him a beatific smile to reassure him. “No worries.”
Kelly’s face grew more serious, brows drawn together. He pinned me with his eyes. “All this sneaking around. All this lying. Are you sure you know what you’re doing, lass?”
My heart beat double time. “No,” I said. “I actually haven’t got a clue.” What I did know was I was hours away from seeing Warren. And the time couldn’t go fast enough. Yeah, I was definitely going down in flames. It’d never felt so good.
Backstage was the same. Busy people. Equipment being pulled from here to there. The stadium was sold out, nineteen thousand rabid fans. Wild Minds had just finished their first set and Wanks and Janks were taking the stage. As Wild Minds exited to my side, I drank in my secret husband.
Warren wore black boots, faded jeans, his wallet chain and a gray T-shirt. He whipped the T-shirt off, wiping down sweat. Screams erupted from the auditorium as Wanks and Janks lit into their first number-one single, Blue Dream, an autobiographical song penned by Billy, about a kid with working-class parents making it big.
Seeing me, a satisfied gleam entered Warren’s eyes. He advanced. I backed up, cornering myself in the shadows between two large speakers.
“War,” I practically purred. Heat pooled in my belly and then between my legs. It was like Warren had a remote control to my nether regions—all he had to do was push play.
“Fuck, baby, been thinking about you all day,” he said, crowding me against a curtained wall.
“Not as much as I’ve been thinking about you.” My body buzzed.
“You tell Billy ’bout us?” Warren asked. He palmed a breast. I felt the heat of his han
d through my thin T-shirt and bra. I sucked in a breath, my nipple peaking under his thumb.
“No.” I was breathless, weightless. He crossed his massive, tattooed arms and gave me a dour look. I felt the loss of him like a slap to the face. “Don’t be mad,” I said. “Please, don’t be mad.”
A long-suffering sigh. “What’s going on, Addy?”
I’m afraid he won’t love me anymore, was what I wanted to say. Instead, I said, “Billy’s been in a piss-poor mood all day, something about quitting smoking.”
“This sneaking around, it’s not what I’m about anymore, babe.”
He was never about it. But I didn’t correct him. “I know,” I agreed, hoping it would make Warren more agreeable, i.e. return palm to breast.
Blue Dream came to an end. Another song started, Broken Moment. Jett sang this one, about losing a girl to another guy. A grunt from Warren, but not of disapproval, rather, resigned acceptance.
“You’re not mad?”
“Oh, I’m mad. But I’m too hard to care.” To demonstrate, Warren adjusted himself in his jeans. I jumped him, wrapping my legs around his waist, then I kissed him good and long. “I love you, Addy,” he said against my lips.
My chest flooded with gooey feelings as I slid down his big body. “And I love how reasonable you’re being.”
Warren slowly grinned. “I think such maturity deserves a reward, don’t you?”
“What were you thinking?”
“I’ve had this image in my head all day of you on your knees.”
“Oh.” I licked my bottom lip. Why did that make me so hot?
“Yeah. Maybe even calling me ‘sir’ or ‘master.’”
I screwed up my nose.
War chuckled, low and husky. “Or maybe not.”
“You can have the blowjob, but not the subservience.”
“Fuck, baby, I’ll take it.” His voice dropped an octave.
I brushed a thumb over one flat, brown nipple then began kissing my way down his chest. He tasted like salt and sweat. I licked his side, my tongue tracing a tattoo of a red fox with the words Breathe Out so I can Breathe You In curved around its bushy tail. Under my mouth, I felt Warren suck in a breath, abdomen tightening. I curled my tongue around his belly button, continuing my descent down his happy trail. His hard-on bulged under his zipper.
Good Lies (A Wild Minds Novel) Page 17
