She looked beautiful laying there naked and bound in the candlelight. “You're so beautiful, Keely. If only you could see that we belong together. We have fun don't we?” He questioned, fucking with her head, letting her think she had some kind of hold on him.
“Oh yeah, we have fun, baby, but you know me, I don't do relationships. Now shut up and fuck me,” she demanded. Yes, he knew all too well that she did nothing but screw men and move on. A true whore only she did it without payment. It was a shame really. She could have made a million with her body.
“Oh no you don't. You see I'm in control tonight, my love. I will do as I please with your body. That's not a problem is it?” She laughed before licking her lips seductively. “You can do whatever you want to my body,” she said just as he eased the beads into her tight hole. For the next few hours he drove her crazy, bringing her to the brink of ecstasy then pulling back. She was panting heavily and begging for release. He ignored her pleas and continued the sexual torture. It was fitting he thought. After all, she'd ruined many lives with that body, his included. Granted, he had been able to work things out with his wife, especially after she admitted to cheating too. They were happy now. He would never think of cheating on his wife again. This was different. His kills were different.
It was time. He was getting tired and she was in an out of consciousness. Her body couldn't handle much more. He removed the clamps and beads. He mounted her and watched as her eyes fluttered open.
“Finally,” she whispered.
He powered into her, looking for his own climax. As he pumped his hips, his hands found her neck where they applied pressure. The closer he came to cumming the harder they squeezed. Her eyes flew open when she realized what was happening. She tried to squirm under him, but she was still bound. She tried to scream, but she couldn't. She was helpless. She looked at him one last time. Her eyes full of horror and fear, asking him, “Why?” A single tear trickled down her cheek as she took her last breath and he unloaded into her.
He closed her eyes and kissed her forehead before he went to shower. He knew they'd run a rape kit on her. They always did and he couldn't risk them finding his semen. He hated the way condoms felt so that left him no choice but to disinfect her. He pulled out his bottle of bleach and began the cleansing process. Once he was convinced that there was not a trace of him left on her, he dressed her in the clothes she'd been wearing, cleaned the room, and carried her lifeless body to the car. Anyone watching would think she was a drunken hooker not a dead town slut.
He left her body in the woods just outside of Lincoln. He wanted them to find her. He would attend her funeral with the rest of the town. Everyone sickened that another murder occurred in their beloved town, yet all secretly happy that the whore was dead. There were only a few tears shed for her, and he almost thought that was sad. He'd shed his own tears for her the night he took her life but no more than that. This was hard kill for him, and he felt sated. He wouldn't be making any business trips into the city any time soon.
Chapter Five
By the time I pulled into Matt's driveway I had a full blown headache and was on the verge of a panic attack. I put up a good front for Trish. I wasn't the kind of woman who looked for sympathy or even a shoulder to cry on. I was the shoulder people cried on. I was the one people came to when they needed to talk, I didn't partake in unloading my feelings on others. I was kind of private like that. Even when I found out Matt cheated on me, I found it very difficult to talk about it with anyone, Trish included. I didn't want to be seen as poor Sunshine Everly, her husband screwed the town whore now she's all alone. Poor thing. No, not poor thing. I was tough. I handled it. At least I thought I did until Trish got me drunk, and I broke down in front of her. She was the only one to see me like that, and I swore to myself I would never be that girl again.
I pulled myself together and walked into my ex-husband's house. “Hey, I'm here,” I called out when I walked in. I pulled off my coat and kicked off my shoes before going deeper into the house. It was close to eleven, so I didn't expect the kids to be awake. I found Matt in his office staring intensely at the computer screen. He didn't even look up when I walked in. Must be important.
“Good porn, huh?” I said quietly and smiled when he looked up at me. Jesus, why did his face have to be so damned perfect? In high school, he was the quarterback on the football team and the one boy all the girls wanted. He kept his hair short, which allowed his strong features and crystal blue eyes to take center stage. His smile was full on white teeth, and it used to make me wet every time he flashed me with it. it. He'd grown into a seriously hot man with his muscled chest and arms that were covered in various tattoos. I sometimes questioned my own stubbornness when I felt like this. Sometimes I wanted to feel the safety of his arms around me. Occasionally, I longed for his loving in bed. This was one of those times. Dammit. Why did he do this to me?
“Hey, babe. I didn't hear you come in. Come check this out.” He patted the seat next to him. He was studying past murders.
“Find anything interesting?” I asked and was genuinely interested.
“Well, in the past twenty years there's been twelve women found dead in the woods, including Keely and Amanda. However, the other ten were from the city and were dumped in the forest on the far west side of Portland, like almost to the coast. I wouldn't have thought there was a connection but all women were strangled and all of them were washed clean, and I mean bleach clean. Including their vaginas.”
“What?” I was horrified.
“Yeah, they'd been cleaned out with bleach. Sick, huh?”
“Holy shit! Keely and Amanda too?”
“Yep, both of them. What the fuck? I mean, obviously he's raping them before killing them but bleach? That’s a new kind of sick. Obviously the fucker puts a lot of thought and time into his kills. I don’t think we are dealing with a novice. This guy knows what he’s doing. ”
“Sick is right. That's crazy shit, Matt. Do you have any leads yet? Why would someone do this?”
“I don't know, Sun, but you need to be careful. We don't have a ton of leads yet but we aren't gonna stop until we catch this sick SOB,” he said and clicked off his computer. He took my hand and held it tightly. “I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you.” I could hear the sincerity in his voice, and I understood it. I felt the same way about him. I might not be able to be married to the man, but I love him nonetheless.
“I'll be careful, Matt. I promise.” I offered him a small, reassuring smile. He kissed my forehead for just a second too long bringing me into all too familiar territory. I stood abruptly. “I guess I should get the kids and head home.”
“They can stay. They're sleeping. You can stay too.”
“No, I can't.”
“Please. I will be a perfect gentleman. I promise,” he begged and crossed his heart. I was exhausted and stressed beyond my limits. If I was being honest, I was afraid too. I told myself staying with Matt would be a bad idea, but he promised to be on his best behavior. After all, it's not a bad thing to have sleepovers with your best friend, unless he's your ex. My mind was twisted in confusion. He could read me so well.
“You can think about it for a little while. Want a drink?” He asked and headed over to his mini bar. This truly was a man cave. The walls were painted a deep brown and boasted the heads of some of his prized kills. Matt has been hunting since he could hold a rifle. It was the one thing he and his father did together every year. They hadn't always had the best relationship. His father used to be a heavy drinker when Matt was growing up. Unfortunately, he wasn't the happy go lucky drunk. He got angry and took that anger out on Matt's mother more often than not.
When Matt was sixteen, he woke to his mother's cries and found her hunched over, her face bleeding. That was the last night his father hit his mother or took a drink. Matt literally beat the shit out of his dad. After he helped his mother get cleaned up, he came to me. His knuckles were bruised and bloody, but it was his heart that
was broken. I remember sneaking out of my window and just sitting in the grass with him while he cried. The next day his father checked into rehab. It took a while, but he worked hard to gain his family’s trust, and eventually his parents reunited. Only they were much happier. Up to that point, though, the annual hunting trip was the only positive memory Matt had of his dad, and he still holds those trips close to his heart.
He also had various football memorabilia scattered along the walls. He was an avid Seahawks fan, and it showed. On the far wall was a mammoth flat screen TV that sat in front of a cushy leather sectional. Add in the bar, the mini fridge, and the pool table and this was a man's dream come true. I giggled to myself as I looked around.
“What are you laughing at, Sun?”
“Nothing really. Just your man cave and all its manliness. This is why we couldn't get back together. You'd have to give up all this man stuff.” I was waving my arms around the testosterone filled room.
“Why would I have to do that?” He asked curiously.
“Ummm, I'm not moving out of my house and there is no man cave there,” I reminded him, only half teasing.
“You have a basement. It would make a fucking awesome man cave,” he replied as he handed me my drink. Whiskey and diet Coke, he never forgets. I followed him to the sectional but sat as far away from him as I could. I didn't trust myself. Usually I was fine with Matt. I had feelings, yes, but I could always keep them in check. I had to. It was self-preservation, but something felt different, and I didn't trust myself.
“I don't bite, Sun. Get over here.” He patted the spot next to him and picked up the remote, waiting for me to scoot over. I just sat there, unsure of what to do, and looking like an idiot.
“What's the matter? I told you I'd be good. Why are you acting all funny around me? It isn't like you. This is what we do. I try to get you back and you push me away. It's kind of our thing now. Now get your ass over here.” He was right, I was being stupid. I moved over to the spot next to him and curled into his side and felt comfort with his arm around me.
He turned on SportsNet, of course, and sipped his drink which I was sure consisted of whiskey with a splash of coke. I wasn't the only one with habits. I was just starting to relax when he said, “I hate your work outfit. You know that?”
“What? Why?” I asked, surprised.
“Look how short your skirt is and how tight you shirt is. I want to rip them off your body right this second.”
“Matt,” I interrupted sternly and sat up.
“No, listen. If I want to do that than I'm sure every other man that walks into Dana's is thinking the same thing. I just think maybe it's dangerous to look like that right now.”
“I've had the same uniform since I started Dana's. You know that. I doubt she's going to change it anytime soon.”
“Fuck, I know that but it drives me crazy. Always has.” This was a surprise to me. He'd never said anything about my uniform before. Yeah the skirt was a little short, and my shirt was a little tight yet I never thought it was a big deal. Women in the city dress way more provocative than my uniform but I'll admit to it being a little on the sexy side.
“I didn't know you felt like that,” I said.
“Of course I do. What guy would want men drooling all over their girl?”
“I'm not your girl anymore,” I reminded him and he sucked in a deep breath of air then let it out slowly.
“I know you're not but you were, for a long time, and yes it bothered me every time you left the house.”
“Why didn't you ever tell me?”
“Because it was your job and we needed the money. Because I didn't want to be that kind of man who tells his wife how to dress. And because I trusted you,” he spoke the last words quietly. He trusted me, and I deserved his trust. It was him that broke our trust.
“Well, I appreciate your honesty but it's still my job and that's not going to change. The fact is we are not together anymore. You don't have a right to be jealous of anything I do. You lost that right when you cheated on me.” I didn't mean for it to come out so harsh, but I was feeling the effects of my drink and some anger creeping in. With the exception of the night he'd confessed to cheating, I never let my feelings show. It was getting harder to suppress those feelings though because I did want to be his girl. I wanted to feel his safety right now, especially with the murders. I wanted so badly to rely on him. I did as far as him being my friend and my kids' dad, but I wanted to rely on him as my other half. He took that away from me. I felt all these old feelings trying to resurface, scratching inside of me, wanting to get out.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked him. I could feel my blood racing through my veins as my heart rate sped up. I was getting angry, but I didn't know why. Yes, he took my breath away when I first saw him sitting at his computer. Yes, knowing he felt jealous of my uniform gave me a weird sense of pride, and yes, him asking me to stay sent my fucking heart soaring. He was driving me crazy. I was finding it harder and harder to keep my promise to myself because I wanted him so badly, and that made me angry too.
“What? Tell you how I feel about you? I'm sorry, Sun, but I've always been honest with you, even when I cheated. I didn't try to hide it. I came straight to you and told you. I'll always tell you the truth.”
“Fuck you, Matt! You broke my heart! I loved you and trusted you. I believed in us and you fucked it all up but I couldn't let you go completely so I settled for having you as my friend, but Jesus it's not working. Why did you do it, Matt? Why her? And don't you tell me it's because you were fucking lonely because so was I but I didn't go spreading my legs for another man!” I'd put it out there. My feelings. We never really talked about the affair, not since the first night he admitted it to me and claimed it was due to loneliness. I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to forget it, until now.
His expression spoke to me more than any words he could ever say. I saw it all there, regret, remorse, sorrow, pain. I watched his eyes gloss over just before he sat back down, hunched over, his face cradled in his hands. I saw his body tremble. There were only a handful of times that I'd seen Matt cry. He cried on our wedding day. When our children were born, when he confessed his affair and when he beat the shit out of his dad, outside of that he kept his tears reigned in. Even during his rough childhood with his father and through our divorce, he kept his emotions in check. Until that moment. I sat down slowly next to him and allowed my hand to rub his back. I couldn't believe I was comforting him.
“I'm sorry, Sun. I don't know what to say. You want to hear everything because I'll tell you everything?” I wasn't sure I wanted to hear everything but something inside told me I needed to hear it.
“Yes, Matt. Everything.”
“Will it change anything?” He asked and finally looked at me, hope mixed with the tears in his eyes.
“I don't know,” was all I could honestly say. He shook his head in understanding and took a long swallow of his drink before he began. “Well, I don't have to remind you the hours we were working. I saw you in passing when we exchanged Elijah. Even then, the thought of cheating never entered my mind. Then Keely started coming into the station. She'd bring donuts, coffee, sandwiches, whatever for all the guys. We'd all joke and laugh about her looking for her next victim. I'd never considered it was me. It started out innocent. She'd flirt with me a little here and there and I would flirt back. The first time she actually came onto me I was a little shocked. I'd considered our flirting innocent and felt like an asshole when I realized she took it for more.” He paused to take another drink. His story wasn't easy to hear, and I guessed it was about to get harder so I took a long swig myself.
“Anyway, that first time I told her no. She wasn't happy and I apologized, explaining I was married and happy. She didn't give up though. Every time she made those advances I'd let her down gently, at least I tried to. It was my fault she thought I was interested in the first place. She kept reminding me how little you and I saw each other and telling
me that's not how a marriage should be. Then you and I had a fight. A really big one, do you remember it?” He asked. “Yes,” I replied quietly.
It was probably one of the worst fights we'd ever had. Matt had come into the bar during a work break to see me and when he walked in he saw Nick pat me on the ass. He was furious. I didn't understand why he was so angry at the time. Nick was being an asshole, and I knew he didn’t mean anything by it. I thought it came with the job and told Matt that. I told him that men come onto me all the time. I don't reciprocate but that I couldn't be rude. Those tips paid our bills. It didn't matter what I said, or yelled, he didn't care. He was pissed and jealous. He left that night and didn't come home until the next morning. That fight was the reason I'd asked my mother to keep Elijah. I knew we were growing apart and wanted so badly to reconnect. I wanted to prove to him that he was the only man I wanted. Ironically, it was the same night he confessed his affair. It wasn't until he slept with Keely that I understood the jealousy he felt.
You Are My Sunshine Page 4
