by Skylar Heart
Mia’s second orgasm is quieter, just a puff of air against Mal’s skin, a slight gasp, but when I look at her, her eyes are soft, and she gives me a lazy smile. I love it when she looks so soft, so thoroughly fucked, and like she’s floating in happiness instead of stuck on this planet, in this world.
My whole body is tingly, sensitive, and when Mal pulls me up a little, giving me a soft kiss, none of his harsh nips and teasing, just a slow kiss, I almost melt into a puddle in his arms. It almost feels silly, this sloppy kiss after the one we shared last night, but I’m feeling too good to care right now.
Then he pulls Mia up too, as soon as she’s regained a little of herself, and she joins in on the kiss, one of her hands sliding anywhere she can reach me, and I can hear the soft content sounds Mal lets out. I pull them both close, against me, not wanting to let either of them go.
I’m not leaving this place. No matter if Mia gets mad with me for ‘skipping out on work’, I’m not leaving them alone this week. I can’t. I can’t leave them, not now I’ve seen how they’ll fall apart, how much they need someone to keep them sane.
Tom was right, they’re going to need all the help they can get, and I just can’t leave them alone anymore, I’m already too attached to them. I love Mia, I came here for her, but I’ve already fallen for the other guys, I’ve gotten too attached to them. Maybe it’s not love, not the same kind of love as I have for Mia, but it’s definitely something, something big and important and I’m not ignoring it, I can’t.
I came here, expecting to have to comfort Mia about her breakup and trying to see how I could help her get through the days. But I’m staying because even in one weekend, the guys here have caught me under the same spell Mia has been under, and I can’t leave. I can’t leave them when I know they’ll be in pain. I need to be there for them...
I need to stay. I can’t do anything else. This feeling inside me won’t let me do anything else.
6
Tom
I don’t want to leave for work without checking in on Mia, Mal and Jake. If Jake is going back to the city today and Mal will be off for band practise all day, I can’t not check in on them, to make sure everyone is okay, to make sure Mia will be okay on her own all day. She might need help with something, or Jake or Mal may need a ride to the bus stop or station, which are both on the way to my work for the day.
As I walk up the path to the house, Elly tagging behind me, I first see Mia in the window of the kitchen, and as she catches sight of me she waves at me, while saying something. Then, behind her, Mal and Jake get up and rush out of the kitchen. From all the way over here, it didn’t seem like they were fully dressed, I didn’t see any shirts on them. I let out a laugh, those three have gotten very comfortable around each other. Which, I guess, is a good thing.
Mia opens the front door as I reach it, grinning at me as she lets us inside. “Morning.” She’s laughing, giving me a quick hug. “Want something to drink?”
I shake my head, tightening my arms around her for a moment before stepping back. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks. I’ll be off again soon. Did I just see the guys flee upstairs?”
She pulls up one shoulder as she looks up the stairs, her eyes filled with warmth. “Yeah. Seemed they didn’t want to be indecent around Elly, or so they said. They’re getting dressed right now.”
“Hey, guys.” I raise my voice. “If anyone needs a ride, be ready in five minutes.”
Mal lets out a groan and Jake laughs, which makes me laugh too.
“Ten?” There’s stumbling upstairs as Mal is probably trying to get his things together.
“Five.” I call to him.
Mia looks after Elly, who is already in the living room, picking up toys and looking at them, before deciding she wants to look at pictures in a book instead. “Is Elly going to your parents, or would you like me to look after her?”
“Mondays is for the grandparents on her mum’s side.” I shrug. “You can fight them on it, but I’m not sure you’d win.” I smile, wrapping my arms around her again, pulling her to me. I love how considerate she is, and how much she seems to like having Elly around.
“I won’t try, then.” She lets out a little laugh, leaning against me. “Did you sleep well?”
“Better than having to share a bed with three guys,” I murmur into her hair, and she laughs again.
“I can imagine. We also had loads more space to sleep last night. I finally wasn’t crushed by four guys all night.” Then she looks up as Mal and Jake come down the stairs.
Mal is carrying a bag over his shoulder, but Jake doesn’t have anything with him, he doesn’t seem like he’s leaving. As they’re halfway down the stairs, Jake ruffles his fingers through Mal’s hair, making it stand up a little wilder, which makes Mal swat at his hand, laughing, complaining that he doesn’t need to be babied. Jake replies something in a low voice, something I can’t hear, but Mal goes bright red at it, glaring, but not saying anything anymore.
Right... So, something definitely happened last night, something that made these guys closer than they were before we left yesterday.
Maybe Dylan wasn’t too off-base when he thought that something was going on between them, that they were interested in each other more than just as a platonic friendship. Maybe I was too innocent interpreting how they were acting around each other. Maybe.
I meet Jake’s eyes, who is looking a little awkward as he probably realises I caught that interaction between them. “Are you not coming? I can drop you off at the bus stop, or at the train station, whatever works for you. It’s on my way to the job.” He wanted to leave so badly yesterday morning, but he seems in no rush to get out today.
He shakes his head, his eyes more serious. “Nah. I’m staying. I’ve got my work with me and I think doing some work around the house is a good change of pace over always being locked in a lab. Get a little physical.” He pretends he’s shrugging nonchalantly, but I can see the tension in his eyes as he glances at Mia. Who breaks from my arms.
“You can’t. You have to... Your work is important!” She steps closer to him, frowning. “You can’t give up. You have to...” She’s getting all emotional again, reminding me of how I found them last Friday. They were having this exact same argument back then.
“My work is important, yes. But I’ve been putting in many more hours than I have had to since the summer.” He relaxes a little now she’s gotten angry with him, like he was waiting for this to happen. “I’ll still get work done. But I don’t have to spend twelve hours a day on it. I can work in the mornings, and we can do things around the house together in the afternoons. That way you’re not on your own with all of this, and it’ll go a lot faster with two people.”
She still glares at him, but doesn’t keep fighting him, like she’d done last week. “You’ll work from eight until noon. Okay? I can’t let you slack off.”
He leans in, smiling softly, giving her a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll work in the mornings. The whole morning. I promise. You won’t hear a peep from me, just fingers typing on the keyboard, all morning.” I can imagine it’s hard for her to resist the smile he’s giving her now, his best innocent smile as far as I’ve seen it.
Mia doesn’t seem fully convinced, but she shrugs now. I’m just glad Jake’s staying, that he’s decided that he’s of more use here, that he’s not leaving her alone all day. At the same time, I’m also glad to have someone around who isn’t so emotionally involved with everything, who can hopefully keep a cool head when we eventually fall apart.
“Pfff.” Mal rolls his eyes dramatically. “I wish my bandmates were as easy on me.”
Jake raises one eyebrow at him, smirking, a twinkle in his eyes. “Like you ever want anyone to ‘go easy’ on you.”
Mal lets out a short laugh. “Fair enough.” Then he shrugs and goes to the back to grab his jacket.
Jake and Mal really do seem different around each other, much easier, joking around, having insider jokes, but Mal also seems more open to Jake,
which is good, as Mal really needs someone who isn’t dependent on him to give him some crap sometimes. Someone who hasn’t known him all his life, like Dylan and me, and who doesn’t depend on his mood for their income, like his bandmates do, someone outside of all that.
When I look back at Jake, his eyes on me are guarded. He’s worried about how I’ll react to what’s going on, but I shrug, smiling. I don’t really care. I hope they don’t mess each other up too much, but right now, we need any distractions we can get, even if that includes getting off with sexy guys... At least, in their case.
Do I want to think about the potential fallout of all of this when Dylan realises something happened? No. But these are grown men, they can make their own choices, and they can figure the whole thing out together. It’s not on me to worry about them, even when I think they make mistakes.
“Will you have dinner here?” Mia smiles at me, her eyes so much softer than yesterday, she looks more relaxed in general.
“Yeah. Elly and I will probably be having dinner here, if you’re up for it. And if Mal wants me to, I can pick him up on my way back home, and we can even pick up some food if needed.” Can’t make her do all the work, especially not when it means feeding six people every evening.
“No food needed.” She laughs. “We picked up enough yesterday. Probably enough for two weeks.”
“Good.” I nod. Then Mal comes back into the hallway and he grabs his bag. “Ready?”
He nods, giving Mia a quick hug and a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll let you know if I’m back before dinner.” Then he looks into the living room. “Hey, princess, you ready to annoy your grandparents all day?”
“Hey,” I stage-whisper at him. “Don’t give her ideas.”
He just shrugs, letting out a short laugh, as he opens the door, stepping out. “She’s my niece. I’d be surprised if she wasn’t annoying them all day. Poppy and I were always very good at it and I bet Dad lets her get away with much more than he ever let us get away with.”
He’s probably right, but he doesn’t have to be so obvious about it, especially not around Elly, who seems to be picking up on these things much more lately, on what adults around her are saying.
I let out a slow breath, bracing myself for what Mal’s parents will be saying when Elly is being a wild child again all day. After giving Mia a quick kiss on her cheek, I nod at Jake and herd Elly out the door.
Time to be an adult for the day.
Dropping Elly off was easy enough. Even though Mal’s parents tried to keep him with them longer, he had a great excuse to get out of there again, he’d be late for band practise, or, at least, that’s what he told them.
We’re driving out of town, the long windy road ahead of us almost fully empty. The station that Mal needs to be at is still a good while off. “Did you have a good night?” Even though I shouldn’t be getting involved in this, I can’t help myself.
He doesn’t answer me immediately, but then I see him nod from the corner of my eyes. “Yeah, was fine.” His voice is short, quiet.
“Anything happened? Everyone okay?” I don’t know how I’m supposed to ask him if something sexual happened between them. But the atmosphere around them was different, all three of them, not just like a friendship, but they were much more touchy with each other, which Mal loves, but he doesn’t let everyone just touch him, he’s very particular about it.
“Everyone was fine.” He looks out the window, and I dare to look at him more, there’s a light frown on his face. “Jake’s a good guy.”
“He is.” What else am I supposed to answer him?
“He loves her a lot.”
“He does...” Where is this going?
“He went down on me last night.”
I cough, almost choking on plain air, and I navigate the car to the side of the road, turning it off before I stare at him. “He... what?” Mal didn’t just say what I think he did, right?
Mal is still looking out the window, but his body is tense. “He went down on me last night. After we’d both gone down on Mia. That’s what you wanted to know, right? That’s what you’ve been wanting to ask me? If we had sex.” Every word he says is angrier than the one before, louder, and then he turns to me, his eyes hard. “You wanted to know if I’ve been messing stuff up. If I’ve been fucking everything up, my friendships, my relationships, everything. Well, yes. I have. I keep fucking everything up. You know I’m the biggest fuckup of us all. I always ruin everything.” He reaches out to open the door. “I’ll walk the rest of the way. I don’t need to hear you tell me that I’m an asshole. I know I fucked up. You should be used to that by now.”
I grab his arm, stopping him. “What do you mean, you ‘keep’ fucking everything up?” What else happened?
He fights me a moment before he stills. “Nothing. Not important.”
“Mal?” What is it with this guy and giving enough clues to make me worry, but never the full story in one go?
“Not important. I wasn’t supposed...” He sighs, looking out at the street. “Let’s go, or I’ll miss my train. Whatever else happened, it’s not important, not right now.”
I turn the car on and get back on the road. “Would you tell me if it is important?”
“Yeah. I will. I promise. It’s not important, really. Also... Please don’t tell Dylan about last night? I’d rather... I’d rather tell him myself.” He’s looking out the window again and I have to admit that I wouldn’t like to be in his situation right now. He had a good thing going with Dylan, and then Mia comes back, and we meet Jake, someone who is so much his type, and stuff starts getting very messy.
Life is hard enough normally, without all these complications. And at the same time, Mal and Dylan need to figure things out on their own. I can’t keep trying to get them together when they don’t even know what they want to do themselves. And they just get angry with me when I keep meddling in it, when I try to make things easier for them.
Great...
7
Mia
Jake is working in the kitchen, as he promised. It’s almost noon and he’s been working all morning, as far as I know.
Once I was sure that he would do what he said, I went back to the back room and finally started looking through some of the shelves, deciding what to keep and what I should probably get rid of. The shelves are full of old magazines, really old paperback books which are falling apart, but there are also a lot of photo albums and things like that. The magazines and paperbacks can go, either throw them away or sell or donate them, but the photo albums I’m saving, they’re too precious to throw out.
I’ve got a stack of things we need to sell or donate, a box full of things we need to keep, and then a pile of things we need to throw out. It’s not going as fast as I would like it to go since I keep looking through everything, reading stuff, and just being emotional about some of the things I keep finding. My own past, my dad’s past and even Grandma’s past, pictures from when we were young. Some of the pictures are so old, all brown and yellow, but it’s still easy to see the resemblance between me and her.
I put another album to the side. It’s from when Dad was around Oliver’s age, and just looking through it, it makes me miss Oliver a lot. I wish I could see him more often, but that’s just me being egotistical, because I made this choice, we made this choice, because it’s the best for Oliver.
Knocking on the door jolts me from my thoughts and I look up. Jake is staring at me, his eyes sad, then I realise my cheeks are wet from tears and I quickly wipe them away. “I’m okay. Just going through memories.”
He nods, coming over, kneeling in front of me. “I know. I was just coming over to see what you wanted to have for lunch.”
“It’s already that late?” I blink. I hadn’t realised how much time has passed.
“Yeah.” He reaches out, wipes some tears away and takes a slow breath. “Or would you like to be alone for a little longer?”
I shake my head. “No.” I get up, wiping at my jeans, tryi
ng to get the dust off. “We should go have lunch.” I just need a breather, I need to get my head back to the present, not get lost in the past. This is a great distraction.
“Okay.” His voice is so soft that it brings tears back to my eyes. Why is he always this nice, always this kind? I never know how to act around him when he’s being soft and considerate, especially when I’m being such a big mess. “Would you like some toasties? Or... just toast?” He puts his hand on my lower back, his touch steady, grounding me.
“Do we have any other options?” I smile a little.
“Hot dogs.” He lets out a soft laugh. “We finished off all the pizzas last night.”
“Toasties sound fine with me.” Reminds me of our weekend-long study sessions we used to do and that Mum used to make them for us as a quick lunch before getting back to work.
“Good. I’ll get started on them.” And Jake darts out of the room, leaving me to myself again.
He’s so considerate, always thinking of me, and not of himself. He’s always taking care of me, and I’m always messing up his life. Why does he even stay around? I’m... I’m a mess. I just mess things up. Fucking hell.
Maybe it would be better if I just... if I just left, or found a way to really send him away. Just so I wouldn’t have to constantly be reminded of how I messed his life up. How can we ever be together in any way more involved than just sex buddies when I know I’m dragging him down all the time? There’s no equality in that, and I can’t do that.
I can’t be the one who makes everything worse when he’s the one who makes everything better all the time.
Jake and I are emptying every cupboard and shelf in the kitchen, looking at what’s good enough to keep and which things we should probably get rid of. The forty year old food processor we found at the back of the cupboards, which doesn’t even seem to work, is on the ‘get rid of’ pile.
