by Skylar Heart
But after that summer, I was never able to get over Mia. I just never could let go of her, of what we had. No matter if she wasn’t into me anymore, I knew I had to protect her, and I couldn’t do that if I had someone else...
I’ve always been hers, and hers alone, until these guys came into my life and now I’m suddenly feeling like I belong, no matter how twisted that sounds after everything that happened this week. But I feel like I can’t give up on them, that I have to take care of them, just like how I feel about Mia.
Talk about messed up...
13
Mia
The house is really quiet when I get back. I took the long way to get here, trying to avoid as many people as possible, until I got caught in the rain and knew I had to hurry up. Nobody else is here, but I guess they’re still at the cemetery. They’ll probably return soon enough. This quiet won’t last long.
I look around the house, trying to make sense of today, of the last week. And the only thing I can think of is that I can’t do this. I can’t keep ruining people’s lives. I can’t keep ruining Mal’s, Dylan’s, Tom’s or Jake’s life. And that’s definitely going to happen when I stay here any longer.
I should have realised this sooner. I should have realised this the moment I found out what really happened to Poppy, and what time of the year it was. I should have immediately left, I never should have stayed. I should never have come here in the first place. That was the worst plan of all. Coming here was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made...
All because I felt weak. All because I felt like I couldn’t deal with my life anymore. But coming here only made everything worse.
I take my shoes off and go to the back room, looking at the pile with albums that Grandma made and I put them in a bigger box. I can’t get rid of those, but other than that, I don’t want to go through any more of her things. It just... It feels wrong. I’m too wrung out for it.
Grabbing my phone, I see I’ve got a lot of messages and missed calls from a blocked number. My ex. Yeah, not going to check any of those. Instead, I look for Mum’s number and call her. The call sound makes me a little nervous, but I know that this is the best thing I can do, for all of us.
“Hi, Mia, how is the coast?” Mum sounds so happy, even though I’m calling her at work, and I feel like crap that I didn’t check if she had a break or something first. I’m too inconsiderate.
“Sorry. Am I calling at a bad time? You’re probably working. I should call back later.” Fucking hell.
“No, it’s fine. I’ve got a little time. What’s up?” She doesn’t sound so upbeat anymore. I’ve already ruined her mood, and what I’m going to say isn’t going to make it much better...
“I think it’s a good idea to sell Grandma’s house.” I hate myself for saying the words, but there’s no other option.
“Yeah?” Why does she sound surprised? I thought she wanted to get rid of it.
“Yeah. We may not get a high price for it, it needs some fixing for that, but I don’t know if it’s worth it to do that before we sell.” I know what Tom said about fixing it before selling and that it would be better for the price we’d get, but that was before I realised that if we want to do those things for cheap, I’ll have to keep working with him and I’ll have to stay here. Both things that aren’t a good idea right now.
“Okay. I’ll talk to your dad about it.” Then she takes a slow breath, her voice changing, getting cautious. “Did Jake find you? He was here last week, looking for you. You hadn’t told him you were going to the coast.”
“Yeah. He found me. We talked. Everything is okay.” Even when everything is wrong. Very wrong. She doesn’t need to know that.
“Okay. Good to hear. He’s still doing his research? Do you know how it’s going?” It’s like she’s suddenly interested in making small talk.
“Yes. He’s still doing that. Still getting his PhD.” Which I didn’t get. Which I’ve always wanted to work towards, but never got... Another thing I failed at.
“His parents must be so proud of him. He’s doing good work.”
“Hmm, hmm. Hey, Mum?” I look around the room.
“Yes?”
“Is it okay if I stay at home a couple of days? I don’t want to go back to Noah’s and I don’t really have anywhere else to stay.”
“Of course. You can stay at home, in your old room even. And it’s easy to travel to your work from there, so that’s good. Is your break over?”
“It is.” I didn’t tell her that I don’t have a job anymore, but she’ll find that out soon enough... I don’t need to tell her that just yet. I’ll search for a new job as soon as I get back to the city. “Okay. I’ll pack my bags and then I’ll be on my way home. Thanks.”
“Yeah. No problem. See you in a couple of hours.”
“See you soon.” I disconnect the call and let out a deep breath, my chest aching, my heart hurting, but this is the best thing for all of us.
I can’t stay here. I should never have come here, so it’s better if I leave. The last days have been bad enough, I don’t need to keep doing that. I don’t need to keep bringing problems to everyone, bring pain to everyone.
Putting my phone to the side, I look over the room one last time. I’ll just come here with my parents in a couple of weeks, we can pack all they want to keep up then, and put the house up for sale. It’s not like we can afford to keep it, especially if nobody lives here anymore. That’s just wasted money.
It’s better if we sell it, if I really leave all of this behind, close this part of my life off. It’s better for everyone.
I pull both suitcases down the muddy path. Of course, it’s muddy all over again, just like when I walked up the path to the house last week, but this time I’m leaving. This time I’m not looking back, I’m just getting away, getting away from the people I keep hurting. From the people I love but can’t be with.
I left a note on the kitchen table. It says that Jake and Mal can sleep at the house for as long as they like, but that I’ll be back with my parents in a couple of weeks to pack everything up. So even though they can stay there for now, it won’t be for long.
My parents probably don’t realise the guys will be staying there anyway, and I’ll cover the costs of the electricity and everything with my paycheck when I’ve got a new job. It won’t be that much anyway and it’s the least I can do for the guys.
One suitcase gets stuck in the mud and I have to tug on it really hard to get it loose again. I hate mud. I hate this.
I check my phone. I need to hurry up if I don’t want to miss the bus. I know there will be another one in a couple of hours, but I don’t want to wait that long, because I know that the guys will try to convince me to stay, and I have a hard enough time telling them no, but today will be even worse. I’m running on my last energy reserves right now, and if they ask me to stay, I won’t be able to leave them.
I finally reach the main street through the town. It’s easier to walk now, the ground much more even, not as slippery. As I look down, I realise I’m covered in mud. I’m so obviously not a girl from around here, since my shoes don’t handle the mud well. I’m a city girl, not a country girl.
I catch sight of the bus as it comes from the coast up to me, on its way back out of here, just like I am. I hold out my hand, making it obvious that I want to get on it, even though just me being here with my suitcases makes that pretty clear anyway.
The bus stops, and as I pick up my suitcases, I catch sight of movement from the corner of my eyes, from between the houses of the town. People coming out of Dylan’s parents’ driveway. My heart sinks as I recognise the four silhouettes, Dylan, Mal, Tom and Jake, and the moment I see them, they see me too.
“Mia!” Dylan yells, but I step into the bus, trying my best to ignore them, my heart going into overdrive.
“Ticket into the city.” I hold out my card and pay for the ticket. Hoping the guys won’t be able to reach the door of the bus before it closes.
“Here
you go.” The guy gives me the ticket, and the doors start to close behind me.
I keep hearing them yell my name, their voices getting louder and louder. The bus driver meets my eyes, looking like he wants to ask me something, but I resolutely shake my head, and start walking to the back of the bus.
No, I don’t want to wait, I don’t want to stay here. I can’t.
As I sit down in a seat, Mal reaches the window I’m sitting at, Jake behind him. Mal bangs on the side of the bus, but it starts to drive off, leaving them behind.
“Mia!” Mal stares at me, the look in his eyes heartbroken, like he can’t believe this is happening. “Mia!” I’m sorry, Mal.
Then I watch as Jake puts his arm around Mal’s shoulders and pulls him back, away from the bus. The look in his eyes isn’t just heartache or pain, but disappointment and quiet acceptance. I’m leaving him again. He knew this was going to happen. He knew that I would do this, because it’s all I ever do, run away from everyone.
I wrap my arms around myself, sobs going through me. This is for the best. This is for the best for all of us.
Jake will look after Mal and the guys, he’ll make sure they’re okay before he goes back to the city after the weekend. With him around, they’ll be okay. He’ll take care of them. Because I can’t.
I can’t take care of anyone. I just break people, break things, and I only make more problems.
So why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like I’m ripping myself apart? Like I’m ripping out my own heart?
I love them so much, but I just can’t be, we can’t be...
Don’t want to stop reading? Grab your copy of the next book:
OUT Jan 29th 2020! Pre-order now!
Her Undoing (Scarred Cliff 4)
Reviews mean the world to me (and other readers)…
If you liked this book, please consider leaving a review. It doesn’t have to be a long review and can be as simple as ‘I liked it’ or mentioning something in the book that made you smile (or cry). It really helps me spread the word about my books. Thank you so much!
* * *
You can find links to where you can review here: Their Downfall Book Page
Next in this series: Her Undoing (Scarred Cliff 4)
Don’t want to stop reading? Grab your copy of the next book:
OUT Jan 29th 2020! Pre-order now!
Her Undoing (Scarred Cliff 4)
* * *
One girl, on the run again, five broken hearts to mend.
* * *
The anniversary of Poppy’s death is hard on them all, but in everything that happens, Mia feels like she can’t stay at the coast any longer, that her being there only brings more pain to Mal, Dylan, Tom and even Jake. So, without telling anyone, she’s left, returned to the city by herself, leaving the guys behind.
* * *
The guys are broken of heart and soul, struggling to make sense of the last week, of the last day, struggling to survive.
* * *
Only, in their time of need, in their time of pain, new alliances are formed, new plans are made, especially a new plan to create a place where Mia can feel loved and at home, no longer scared.
But that would require that she returns to them, to the coast, and that turns out to be harder than expected, or is it?
* * *
OUT Jan 29th 2020! Pre-order now!
Her Undoing (Scarred Cliff 4)
Try next!
While you’re waiting for the continuation of the story about Mia and her boys, here are some other stories of mine you can try out!
Here are three choices I think you may enjoy, depending on why you love this story!
More Contemp NA with damaged boys? Try Shattered.
More Reverse Harem and you like paranormal? Try Prophecy.
More Second Chance love with an old summer fling? Try Second Chance at Christmas.
Blurbs below!
If you like New Adult angst with broken boys and their damaged girls, try out my other series, starting with Shattered:
Shattered (Damaged Hearts 1)
LIZZY
I should have known he was trouble when I watched him drive his motorbike onto campus, leaving a trail of people whispering as he made his way into the Art Building.
* * *
Word around here is, he doesn’t date. So why do his eyes keep following me? Why does he want to talk to me?
* * *
Rumor has it, Hunter’s good at two things: making art, and getting into fights. I love art, but I can’t stand violence. I’ve been on the receiving end of it too many times.
* * *
My life is simple, it needs to be if I want to graduate and keep my eating disorder at bay… I sleep, I eat, I go to class and I definitely Do. Not. Date.
* * *
So why do I feel so safe in his strong arms?
* * *
HUNTER
She’s like a spooked little mouse. Not my type at all. Until she looked up at me and I was caught in her azure eyes.
* * *
But I won’t let her get close. In the last four years, I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved. I will never trust anyone ever again. The second I do, I’ll find myself alone again. So, what’s the use?
* * *
So I create big metal installations, I go to class when I feel like it, I drink and get into fights at the bar.
* * *
I have to stay away from Lizzy, because my darkness will only make hers worse. I know I have to, but that isn’t what my heart wants. When I see the pain in her eyes, I can’t resist her. I want to help her, touch her…
* * *
Protect her.
Shattered (Damaged Hearts 1)
If you’re into harems but don’t mind when they go a little paranormal, try my other reverse harem series:
Prophecy (Lughnasadh Elite Academy 1)
One clueless queen-to-be, four princes to change her world forever.
Before her vital first cup of coffee in the morning, Litha finds out she’s a witch and is suddenly transported to a magical world she didn’t know existed. As if that wasn’t strange enough, it turns out that she’s prophesied to be queen and her parents only took her to the human world to protect her from those who want her dead. But now she’s at Lughnasadh Elite Academy and face to face with her four potential… kings?
It doesn’t help that all four princes are sexy and hot and make her insides squirm when she catches sight of them. There is Bane, the werewolf prince, all broody and with hair sticking up like he just got out of bed. Kit, the incubus prince, whose wicked smile melts anyone’s unmentionables. Rune, the dragon prince, protective and with muscles like he’s a moving mountain. And last, but definitely not least, Finn, the fae prince, quiet but intense, with eyes like a summer forest.
According to the prophecy, Litha will marry the true ruler of the four kingdoms. But having grown up human, in the human world, she has no idea where to start making sense of all of it, and the four princes pursuing her really don’t help with trying to figure it all out.
Prophecy (Lughnasadh Elite Academy 1)
If you want to try out some more girl-on-girl loving or just cute small-island romances, then my Emily Engberts titles may be more to your liking, starting with Second Chance at Christmas:
Second Chance at Christmas (Seasons on the Island 1)
Josie doesn’t want to spend yet another Christmas as the only single adult at the family dinner. So, instead, she books a week long holiday to her favourite island. Ready to spend it doing what she loves doing most, long walks on the beach with her dog and reading novels in front of a fire.
What she hasn’t counted on is running into her old summer fling, the one girl she could never forget.
* * *
Sanne is freshly heartbroken, and instead of having to deal with her parents’ pitying looks over Christmas dinner, she decides to still go on the winter holiday she’d booked, even if it means going on her own. She can
entertain herself well enough, and maybe some fresh air will clear her head of all the darkness from the last months.
But when she sees Josie at the cafe, she can’t help how her heart beats faster or how much she wants the other woman to hold her.
* * *
What starts as a shared meal at a cafe, followed by the first snow of the season, could turn into much more.
They lost their chance of being together when they spent the summers on the island as teens, but can they take it now that they’re adults?
Can they take the chance amid knee-high snow and Christmas decorations?
Second Chance at Christmas (Seasons on the Island 1)
