by Annie O'Neil
‘We’ll see just how brave in a minute.’ She took a bite, chewed, and then smiled. ‘Well, they look horrible, but they taste amazing.’
Cooper nodded and grinned. ‘Maybe we should’ve chilled the dough overnight, as the recipe recommended.’
They both looked down at the handwritten note alongside the typewritten recipe that said, Do not ignore!
Audrey wiped her hands again, then began flipping through the pages. ‘Maybe we can find an easier one.’
‘One that suits the brain power of an A&E doc and a super-nurse?’
Audrey smiled up at him, the compliment clearly hitting its mark. He liked making her feel good. Bringing a smile to her lips. There was something...something inherently honest about who she was.
When he let himself think about how badly she’d been treated it made his blood boil. But, though they didn’t talk about it too much, he got the sense that Audrey was well and truly prepared to leave the past where it was and do her best to move on. Perhaps he should take a page out of her book.
‘This sounds good,’ Audrey said, pointing to a recipe for Scottish Rarebit. ‘What makes it Scottish?’
Cooper laughed. ‘You know how Gran liked mustard more than just about anything?’
She crinkled her brow, then brightened. ‘Oh, yes. You said it was in the chicken and mushroom pie, didn’t you?’
‘Yup. That’s French mustard. The main difference between Welsh rarebit and Gran’s is an extra wallop of the strong stuff.’
‘Mustard?’
‘Her own special homemade mustard.’
He tapped the side of his nose, then went to a cupboard, pulling out one of three jars that still remained. It’d be a tough day when he hit the last one.
Audrey read the label and laughed. ‘This sounds like it’d put hairs on your chest.’
He cracked the lid open and took a spoon from the cutlery drawer. ‘Care to find out?’
‘What?’ Audrey giggled. ‘See if Gertie’s Blow-Your-Socks-Off Whisky Mustard puts hairs on my chest? I don’t know if I’m brave enough.’
The flirty atmosphere that had been dancing around them for the past couple of weeks ratcheted up a notch.
‘You’re brave enough,’ Cooper said, meaning it. ‘You shouldn’t doubt yourself. Ever.’
A glint of pride lightened her dark eyes.
It felt good to know he’d put it there.
Not many women could leap from district nursing to a high-stakes paediatric hospital and then slip straight back into district nursing without so much as a blink of an eye.
If he’d met her at the hospital he would’ve asked her out. He also would’ve been guaranteed to mess up the relationship. Adding yet another woman to the list of girlfriends he’d disappointed. Perhaps that was why he’d met her now. When he was straddling the fault lines of the path he’d been walking. He could either let himself fall into the abyss or shore up his reserves and leap to solid ground.
‘Do you really think so?’ Audrey’s gaze softened, but still held his.
The energy crackling between them intensified.
‘It put hairs on my chest.’ His voice dropped a notch and the space between them somehow closed. ‘The mustard,’ he added, for only one reason. To stop himself from kissing Audrey right this very moment.
‘I think that’s probably a good reason for me not to try it,’ Audrey said, her voice barely a whisper.
Cooper put down the jar and cupped Audrey’s beautiful face in his hands. He of all people should know that time was precious. ‘I want to kiss you.’
Her breath caught in her throat. Cooper could feel her pulse accelerating beneath his touch.
She nodded.
‘Is that all right?’
She nodded again.
When their lips met it was as if the rest of the world slipped away. Gravity, time, place...they all disappeared. And in their place was touch, scent and an all-encompassing warmth.
Their light kiss deepened. Heat, energy, intention. Three elements of a kiss that all but melted them together. She tasted of cinnamon and cloves. Of the crisp island air. She smelt of nutmeg and oranges. For the rest of his life he knew those things would be evocative of Audrey.
As he pulled her closer to him, her hands slipped between them and took purchase on his chest. But she wasn’t pushing him away. She was feeling the pounding of his heart as it bashed against his ribcage.
‘Where do you see this going?’ she asked, her lips moving against his.
‘I—’ He didn’t know. ‘My plan was to stay here. Take over from Dr Anstruther.’
‘Was...?’
‘Is.’
And at this exact moment it felt like the truth. He wanted it to be his truth. Would staying right the wrongs of his past? It would only work if it was well and truly what he wanted to do.
She blinked a few times. ‘Have you told him that?’
‘Not strictly speaking.’
She pulled back. ‘Which means...no, you haven’t told him?’
Cooper nodded. ‘There hasn’t been the right time.’
‘He’s retiring on Christmas Eve, Cooper. The island won’t have a doctor.’
Fifteen years of defensiveness flew up to protect him. He fought against it. ‘I know. There’s an island a bit further down the coast that lost their doctor three years back and they’ve yet to replace him.’
‘But you’re not there. And stringing everyone along isn’t exactly helping, is it?’
‘I’m not stringing anyone along.’
‘Well, why not call Dr Anstruther right now and tell him you want the job?’
And therein lay the problem. He would only make that call when he knew he could give the islanders one hundred per cent follow-through.
He missed the A&E. Missed the buzz of it. But already he knew he’d also miss practising medicine on the island. It was making him a better doctor. Having the time to talk and listen to his patients, properly made a real difference.
But there was a very real possibility the only reason he was loving it was because of Audrey. It was a moment in time—just like one of those snow globes you shook up and watched until the magic came to an end. Audrey had arrived when he’d needed some outside perspective, but she would be leaving. No-nonsense Noreen would be back in the new year. Dr Anstruther would leave. As would Audrey.
And then what? Was a life here without her what he wanted? Was a life with her—anywhere—what he wanted?
He brushed her hair back from her forehead and dropped a kiss on it. ‘I know I don’t want to hurt you. But as for the rest of my life... The honest answer is I don’t know.’
‘Me neither,’ she said sadly. ‘A rebound for me? A way to move beyond grief for you? Not exactly an ideal love-match.’
Their eyes met again, their arms tangling loosely round each other’s waist... Each of them was no doubt thinking, Is that what this is? A love-match?
‘Want a hot chocolate?’ he asked, instead of probing deeper.
She nodded. ‘And then I think we’d probably better pretend this didn’t happen.’
‘You sure?’ It hurt to hear her take the practical tack...but it also made sense.
‘No... But it’s not going anywhere, Coop. So what’s the point?’
‘Temporary pleasure?’ Even as he spoke, he knew it was the wrong thing to say.
‘I’ll get my temporary pleasure from the hot chocolate, thank you very much.’
‘You’re a wise woman.’
As she turned around he barely heard her, but just caught the whispered words...
‘I hope so.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘SO, YOU THINK that’s something you might be interested in, dearie?’
Dr Anstruther’s wife, Emily, glanced over Audrey’s shoulder as if the pair of
them were having a top-secret conversation and sharing MI6 information. For Bourtree, Audrey supposed it was.
Audrey was thrilled to bits they’d thought of her—but, hearing a certain Scottish brogue in her head talking about islanders not taking to change, she asked, ‘You’re absolutely sure it won’t put anyone’s nose out of joint?’ And by ‘anyone’ she meant Cooper.
‘Not at all. And the costume would fit you perfectly.’
Audrey looked at it again and had to agree. Not that anyone would know it was her, but... ‘It would be my pleasure.’
She meant it, too. She’d only been here a few weeks, and already she felt more a member of this community than she had at her own home in London. Maybe she and her father had been too much of a self-contained unit after her mum’s death. Too frightened to branch out and, in her father’s case, love again in case they were blindsided by another devastating loss.
She hoped she wasn’t doing that by being here. Teaching herself to close herself off to possibility. To love.
She thought of the kisses she and Cooper had shared, that she had stopped by demanding to know where he thought things were heading. How would he know? It was one kiss. How could she know? She wouldn’t have a job in less than a fortnight. How could anyone know anything?
She smiled at the older woman next to her, about to sell her home of forty-seven years and move to Cornwall ‘just to see what excitement lurks on the other tip of Great Britain’. She should take a page out of her book. Seize the day. Seize days that didn’t include Argentinian fiancés with a penchant for fancy wine and slinky elf costumes.
Emily adjusted herself so that she was standing by Audrey’s side. The two of them took in the hustle and bustle of the large church hall.
‘Amazing to think all this chaos will be transformed into the Nativity in fewer than forty-eight hours.’ Emily shook her head in disbelief, but the glint of pride in her eyes suggested she knew it would happen.
Audrey grinned. It was pandemonium. Hammers were clanging nails into place, groups of children were off in opposing corners of the hall singing entirely different songs. A man was trying to guide a donkey away from a table that held a dazzling display of Christmas biscuits...not hers and Cooper’s, it had to be said.
‘Is it normally this...um...?’ Audrey tried to find a word for mayhem that sounded nice.
‘Chaotic?’ Emily filled in for her with a smile. ‘Yes. Every year. Although there usually aren’t so many people.’
‘No?’
‘Well, as Cooper may have told you, his grandmother Gertie was the driving force behind the Nativity. Those biscuits of hers had a lot to answer for.’
Audrey had gleaned as much—more from the patients than from Cooper, who only talked about his grandmother in stilted intervals. She got it. It had taken her ages to tell a story about her dad after he’d passed away without bursting into tears.
‘You two make quite the team.’ Emily gave Audrey’s arm a pat.
Audrey’s brow crinkled. Did she know about the kiss? Cautiously, she asked, ‘In what way?’
Emily pointed across the hall to where Jimmy Tarbot was lugging a huge lantern towards the big doors that led to the church. ‘We’ve not seen Jimmy out and about for years now, really.’
Audrey was about to say that all Cooper had done was suggest he come to the hall, but maybe it had been the magic combination of lone wolf Cooper making the suggestion, the GP’s surgery being relocated to the church hall during Nativity season and...if she wasn’t mistaken...the very pretty woman who was setting out a huge bowl of fruit at the end of the coffee and tea table.
‘Who’s she?’
‘Angela. She works down the local bakery.’
‘Ah...’ Audrey smiled, connecting the dots.
‘Anyway, young lassie...’ Emily gave her arm a little pat. ‘I’d best be off. You’ll keep our little talk to yourself, won’t you?’
Audrey made a my lips are sealed gesture, then threw away the imaginary key. Smiling, she sat back down to look at the costume she’d promised to ‘attach some dazzle’ to.
Twenty minutes later, she hadn’t made much progress.
‘Ouch!’ Audrey pulled her finger away from the sparkly fabric. Yup... She’d just stabbed herself hard enough to draw blood.
She popped her finger in her mouth and stared at the hem of the cape she was sewing. And by ‘sewing’ she meant trying to sew. Needlecraft was definitely not her speciality.
This whole thing of her and Coop keeping themselves busy so they could avoid the elephant in Gertie’s house was beginning to fray at the edges. First it had been work—but they had proved such an efficient team that only the odd out-of-hours emergency required their presence. Then it had been cleaning out the surgery in advance of the builders getting in there—but the builders had decided it wasn’t safe for them and that the whole project would have to wait until the New Year, so that the new GP could decide how he or she would like things.
That had thrown a spotlight on the fact that Cooper had yet to pin his name to the job. Which was annoying, because if he did she would know once and for all that she was leaving and he was staying and their paths would never cross again. Or, if he refused the job, she could possibly sound out Dr Anstruther about staying on to help Noreen until they got a new GP.
She tried to tackle the costume’s hem again, succeeding only in having to pull the stitches out. ‘Urgh!’
‘Is that costume playing silly buggers with you?’
Cooper appeared from behind a large chunk of plywood cut into the shape of a camel. He saw her notice the shape, and pretended to be riding it. Goofball.
‘It’s a better effort than our Christmas biscuits, isn’t it?’
She wanted to laugh. Of course she did. To laugh and pull him towards her, to kiss him and let the world fade into soft focus so she could tell him how much she cared for him. How she’d realised that her feelings were stronger than she’d thought ever since they’d kissed. Kissing that she’d stopped because suffering two broken hearts in a matter of weeks had seemed ridiculous.
Although this whole not kissing thing wasn’t really working for her either. She was all for a bit of denial, but something was telling her that despite her very best efforts she was falling for Cooper MacAskill.
‘Need a plaster?’ Cooper leant in, and the scent of island fir and spiced mince pies swirled in along with him. ‘Or shall I get out my suture kit?’
‘I think we were assigned the wrong jobs,’ Audrey replied dryly, lifting the needle and cloth between them. ‘How did I end up doing this and you on props? I thought doctors were the ones who were good at stitching?’
‘I would love to show you my excellent stitching skills...’ Cooper grinned, sending an unwanted trill of response round her tummy ‘...but I’m afraid Cayley has demanded I supply her with three camels immediately.’
‘Cayley?’ Audrey sat up straighter, letting the gold fabric fall onto her lap. ‘I thought she was on costumes, like me.’
‘Nope. She did it for a day or two, then spotted an open tin of paint and, according to Dr Anstruther, it was love at first sight.’ Cooper nodded towards the far end of the church hall where Cayley was buttoning herself into a paint splattered coverall. ‘She’s been down here every day, apparently. When she’s not doing her homework.’
He dropped Audrey a wink that made some butterflies flutter to life and take flight around her heart. His eyes dropped to her finger.
‘So what’s the situation? Are we counting you amongst the walking wounded?’
‘Sitting wounded, more like.’
He knelt down beside her, leaned the camel up against the wall and took her hand in his.
Her instinct was to yank her hand away and snap I’m fine, leave it. Completely counterintuitive to the butterflies now tripping the light fantastic around her insides.
>
But Cooper had been nothing less than a gentleman since their kitchen kiss. Why would he suddenly opt for a public show of unwanted affection here, in the centre of the church hall?
Cooper pulled her hand up close to his face, presumably to look at it. The hum and whirr of activity round them blurred into a warm buzz, fuelling the growing intensity of the moment. His fingers traced the length of the one she’d pricked. A whoosh of tingles skittered up her arm and across her collarbones.
‘Do you think I’ll make it?’ she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.
‘There’s one medicine I’d prescribe.’ His eyes met hers and held tight.
‘Oh?’
His lips lowered, and they were just about to reach her fingertip, her entire body buzzing with anticipation, when someone called out, ‘It’s snowing!’
A flash of something that looked like disappointment swept through Cooper’s eyes before his smile returned. He pushed himself back up to stand and offered her his hand. ‘Care to see a rare event out here on Bourtree?’
‘What? It doesn’t often snow here?’
‘Not regularly. Looks like the Christmas faeries are intent on you having a magical Christmas whether you want it or not.’
She was about to protest, and then remembered how grumpy and anti-Christmas she’d been when she’d landed on Bourtree. Funny how hating Christmas had been replaced by so many other things. Positive things. Like caring for their patients. Learning who liked their tea which way and why. Making biscuits with Cooper. Seeing the aurora borealis with Cooper.
She forced herself to stop. The whole point of her ‘exile’ to Bourtree had been to discover who she was. Not start another relationship.
Which made feeling Cooper’s warm, supportive hand round hers that much more difficult.
When her hand had been in her ex’s she’d felt helpless. As if she’d lost her own life skills and become reliant upon him to guide her through the maze of his world. A world that hadn’t felt as warm as this one. In short, it hadn’t been a love that had given her confidence. Far from it.
