Thankfully, Brooke turned back to Finn. “And I’m sure today isn’t easy for you, either.”
He looked puzzled.
“It’s been four years ago today,” Brooke continued. “Since Denise passed away.”
Ah, yes, thought Jodie. The perfect fiancée.
“Right,” said Finn, shooting an awkward glance at her. “I forgot.”
“I’m surprised you did,” Brooke said, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I know you miss her so much.” Then she lowered her voice, but not low enough. “Be careful, okay?”
Jodie’s cheeks flushed again at the implied warning in Brooke’s voice. Was there anyone in this town on her side? Anyone willing to give her a second chance?
She hurriedly shoved the sheet music inside its envelope, all the while fighting down the unwelcome feeling of shame bubbling up in her.
I’m not a horrible person, she wanted to shout.
But she kept her thoughts to herself. She didn’t know Denise, but it didn’t matter. Whatever and whoever she was, Jodie was fairly sure Denise had been a much better person than Jodie had ever been. After all, according to Finn, she was the kind of girl her father had wholeheartedly approved of. Unlike his own daughter.
“I should go,” Jodie said, tucking the music under her arm while avoiding Finn’s eyes. “Nice seeing you again, Brooke,” she said.
“I’ll be by the ranch again tomorrow,” Finn called out.
She tossed him a wave over her shoulder as she practically ran out of the church, wondering why she’d ever agreed to this.
But even as she drove away, memories of Finn’s kiss lingered.
And what was she supposed to do about that?
* * *
Finn parked his truck at the corrals of the Rocking M. He pushed his hair back from his face. It had been a long day. It was as if all the troublemakers and psychopaths had got together and decided that today was Crazy Day.
He had one character cooling his heels in the county jail after Finn found him brandishing a gun, threatening his ex-girlfriend. After he’d tackled the guy, he’d discovered it was a fake firearm.
Then some fool had crashed his car into an abutment of the bridge over the Saddlebank River. His blood alcohol level had been over the legal limit, so he’d joined the first guy in the jail.
Which meant Finn had spent most of his afternoon getting statements and filling out paperwork. Something he was behind in from yesterday because he’d had to meet Brooke at the church.
The only thing that had got him through the day was the thought of seeing Jodie again.
He recalled once again the kiss they had shared yesterday. From a practical viewpoint it hadn’t been the smartest thing.
So why did it feel right?
Finn thought of that moment in church when Brooke had expressed her sympathies. He had forgotten about the anniversary of Denise’s death. Every year since she died, he’d put flowers on her grave. In fact, at Keith’s funeral, when he’d stopped by Denise’s grave site, he had been trying to decide what flowers he would bring this year.
But he’d forgotten. This year he’d been distracted by a pair of haunting blue eyes.
He laid his head back on his vehicle’s headrest, closing his eyes as he prayed. Lord, I’m confused here and I’m scared I’m making a bad choice. Help me to keep my focus on what’s important.
He waited, as if letting the prayer soak into his heart, as well as his soul. Reminding himself to be objective and in charge, he got out of the truck, pulled in a deep breath and tried to calm himself.
The door of the house opened and his erratic heart skipped a beat.
Jodie walked toward him, her hair shining in the afternoon sun. She was wearing an orange tank top, her hands shoved into the pockets of a pair of baggy purple pants that would look more at home in a harem than on a ranch.
As she got closer, his initial eagerness was tempered by the frown on her face. The way her steps slowed as she came nearer.
“Hey there,” he said with false enthusiasm. “I noticed you’ve got Spot and Roany penned up.”
She nodded, tossing her hair back. “You don’t have to do this, you know. Work with my horses. And if you can find someone else to play...” She waved her hands as if erasing what she had just said. “I know we had a deal, but I can’t... I’m not...” Her voice faltered, then he caught the faintest quiver of her lip.
“Jodie, what’s going on?”
She clenched her jaw and tightened her hands into fists. “I’m sorry,” she said, turning away from him.
His concern morphed into confusion and he caught her by the arm. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
She kept her eyes averted, straining to pull away. “This is a bad idea. You shouldn’t be with me.”
He kept his hand on her arm as he struggled to catch up. “What are you talking about?”
This time Jodie managed to pull free. “We kissed each other. It’s probably best to move on from that. Act as though it didn’t happen.”
Though he had been thinking the same thing only a few moments ago, hearing her say it out loud made him upset.
“I don’t know about you, but I’ll have a hard time forgetting about that,” he said, forcing himself to remain calm. “And from the way you reacted, I think you will, too.”
Jodie shook her head. “Don’t do this.”
“Do what?” he asked, sensing her weakness. He took a step closer, her nearness making him throw aside any caution he might have had. He cupped her face, turning it toward him. “Don’t look at you? Don’t let myself enjoy being around you?” He felt her resistance melting, saw it in the flare of hope in her eyes.
He capitalized on that, his other hand resting on her shoulder, a gentle invitation to stay near.
“I heard what Brooke said about being careful, and she’s right,” Jodie said, looking away. “From what you said about Denise, I know she was a good person. I’m not that person.”
Finn had to admit that he still had misgivings about Jodie. But standing in front of her now, feeling the way he did, all those misgivings seemed petty and unimportant.
“You don’t have to be that person,” he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb, turning her face up to his, the reality of her easing away memories of Denise. “You just have to be you.”
“That might not be enough.”
“You’re a good person regardless of how you like to come across. And I’m not sure what to do about what’s happening with us, but I feel as though I’d be a fool not to see where it might lead this time.”
Her shoulder lowered and her hand caught his wrist. Her fingers were icy cold but her cheek felt warm.
“What if it doesn’t go anywhere?” she asked. “Then what?”
Finn didn’t know the answer to that, and truth to tell, with her looking up at him with those incredibly blue eyes, he didn’t want to think any further than this moment.
“Let’s just take it one step at a time,” he said. He bent his head and touched his lips to hers. She curled her hand around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair as she responded to his kiss.
He pulled away and smiled, pleased to see her smiling back at him.
“You’re making me even more confused,” she said, breathless.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I just feel as if our story isn’t finished yet.”
Her hand stroked his cheek. “Then, we’ll just have to see where it goes.”
“Would you be willing to go to lunch with me on Friday? I’m working night shift tomorrow and Thursday, otherwise we’d do it sooner.”
“Are you asking me out on a date?” Jodie teased, lowering her hand, but resting it on his chest.
“If you have to ask—”
>
“Yes. Yes, I’m willing. Anytime I don’t have to sit at home eating grilled-cheese sandwiches is a good day.”
“And no television, either, I imagine.”
Jodie gave him a look of mock horror. “Something as wasteful as television? In Keith McCauley’s house? Surely you jest.”
“Well, I’m not jesting about the work we need to get done today,” he said.
“Of course. We don’t want to waste time now,” she said with a wink, then spun around, walking ahead of him, her hair swaying, a bounce in her step.
He laughed at her comment, but heard beneath that an edge he couldn’t define. The more time he spent with Jodie, the more he found out about Keith, and Finn didn’t know what to do with the information.
Maybe he was too concerned with having everything just right.
Maybe he should allow himself this moment. See where it went.
And stifling any second thoughts, he followed Jodie to the horses.
Chapter Ten
Friday afternoon Jodie pulled into an empty spot in the shade of a maple tree and looked out over Mercy Park, its gazebo sheltered from the midmorning sun by the cluster of ash trees.
A vague memory surfaced. Of her father, getting her to smell her ice cream, then tapping the bottom of the cone. Her nose had hit the ice cream and they all laughed. Then he’d pulled a hanky out of his pocket, wiped her nose and gave her a big smile.
She let the memory settle like a warm blanket over the colder, harsher ones. This, too, was part of her past with her father.
She got out of her car, locked its doors, then laughed at herself. In a town like Saddlebank, it was hardly at risk of being stolen, but she didn’t want to take the chance. This car was her way out of here.
Or was it?
What should happen when she left Saddlebank?
Would she be staying in Wichita? Moving on? Waiting for the ranch to sell so she could finance another trip abroad?
She couldn’t work up any enthusiasm for the ideas. However, the thought of meeting Finn at the Grill and Chill did. Was she being smart about this? Did she dare?
Ignoring the endless questions swirling in her head, she smoothed her hands over the bright blue silk tunic she had bought in a bazaar in Bangkok, paired with blue jeans she had put on for her date. Trying to straddle the line between her identity and what she thought it should be?
Maybe she should have worn the baggy pants she had picked up in Thailand. Just to remind herself who she was.
As she stepped up onto the sidewalk, someone called her name. She turned around to see Aunt Laura walking toward her, arms outstretched, her poufy gray hair tossed about by the spring breeze.
“Hello, my dear girl,” her aunt called out. “I haven’t seen you for ages,” she chided. “What are you doing in town?”
“Sorry, Aunt Laura, I’ve been lying low at the ranch,” Jodie said, returning her tight hug, but not directly answering her question. She pulled back, smiling at the faded ring of lipstick on her aunt’s mouth, the smudge of mascara around her eyes, her eye shadow gathered in the creases of her eyelids. Aunt Laura always managed to look vaguely put together, but not quite hitting all the marks.
“Doing what?”
“Helping Finn with the horses. Getting stuff sorted in Dad’s office.”
Aunt Laura made a face. “That will be a job and a half. That man was turning into a pack rat.”
“There’s enough paper there, that’s for sure.” Jodie hadn’t even begun to get it all sorted out. “I hope to have it filed and organized before Lauren comes. And deal with the horses, too.”
“Speaking of horses, how is the arrangement with Finn going?” Laura asked, giving her a broad grin.
“It’s coming,” Jodie said, ignoring the speculation in her aunt’s eyes. “I think Finn has Roany behaving how he wants her, and now he’s working with Spot.”
“So do you know when you’ll be selling them?”
Jodie was taken aback momentarily at her aunt’s question, then reminded herself that was the purpose for Finn training the horses. “I’m not sure. I have to talk to him about that.”
The thought of selling them depressed her.
You could keep them.
Where? And for what?
A few people passed them, murmuring a quick hello. Laura returned their greeting, then turned back to Jodie. “I hear Mandie is coming on Wednesday,” she said, shifting her focus. “That’s exciting. I imagine you’re looking forward to practicing with her. You always did like a challenge.”
“I hope that I’ll be able to meet her expectations.”
“You’ll do fine,” Aunt Laura said, patting her on the shoulder. “You’re a gifted pianist.”
“Not according to Amy Bernstein. She thinks I’m unreliable.”
“Well, to be honest, honey, you’ve had your moments.”
Jodie looked past her aunt toward the park, recalling the variety of memories it had evoked. “I was a different person then.”
“An angry young girl.” Laura hooked her arm through Jodie’s, pulling her close in a half hug. “And you had your reasons. I know my brother, and while he wasn’t the greatest father, I would like to say he tried his best. But after your mother—” Aunt Laura stopped there, shaking her head. “Sorry.”
“After my mother what?” Jodie pressed.
“Where are you headed?” her aunt said, changing the subject. “I doubt you came into town simply to chat with me.”
Guilt suffused Jodie. “I’m going to the Grill and Chill.”
“Who are you meeting there?”
Jodie didn’t want to tell her, but knew she was postponing the inevitable. Aunt Laura’s connections in Saddlebank were vast and varied. It would only be a matter of minutes after she sat down with Finn that her aunt would find out. “Finn. We have to make some plans.”
“Plans? Really?”
“About the horses,” Jodie said with a note of finality.
“Of course.” Aunt Laura’s eyes sparkled as she grinned up at her. “I’m headed in that direction. I’ll walk with you.”
She caught Jodie by the arm again, nodding a greeting at two other women whom Jodie vaguely recognized, then waving at a man who beeped his horn at them.
Small towns, Jodie mused, walking along with her aunt. Part of her had missed these connections. This feeling of being grounded.
You could stay.
The thought tantalized. But what would she do here? How would she make a living? Jodie had no answers to that.
“Well, here you are,” Aunt Laura said, stopping at the entrance of the diner. “I’m meeting Sylvia and Annette at the quilt shop. We’re making a new quilt for the craft fair coming up this summer.”
“Sounds like fun.”
Her aunt kissed her on the cheek. “Say hello to Finn for me?”
Jodie nodded, said goodbye and stepped inside the diner, where the noise of people chatting washed over her. She had arranged to meet Finn at about one thirty, hoping to miss the noon rush, but the diner didn’t look any emptier than it had when she and Lauren met here after their father’s funeral.
She stood by the front counter, looking around. She saw a few familiar faces in the crowd. Two older women, Alice Fortier and Ellen Bannister, sat by a window with a younger one with long brown hair. Jodie recognized her as Keira, Ellen’s daughter and a distant relative of hers. Obviously pregnant, Keira shifted, pressing her hand to her stomach. She glanced up, looking puzzled when she saw Jodie, as if trying to place her, then smiled and waved her over.
Jodie checked behind her, just to make sure she was looking at her.
“Hey, Jodie, how are you doing?” Keira asked, clumsily getting to her feet as Jodie approached the table. She gave her a quick hug.
“Sorry I didn’t make the funeral. I was feeling kind of rotten that day.”
Truth to tell, Jodie didn’t remember her absence, but Keira seemed genuinely sorry, so she just smiled and said it was okay.
“Do you want to join us?” Keira was asking.
“Thanks, but I’m meeting someone.”
“You’ll have to come up to Refuge Ranch sometime,” Ellen chimed in. “I was sad I missed Erin. I haven’t seen her for ages, and though I enjoyed catching up with Lauren, we didn’t have enough time.”
Lauren and Erin had hung around with Keira and her sister, Heather, whenever they came to town for their summer visits. Jodie, ever the rebel, had preferred the company of Jaden and his crew whenever Clair had decided she didn’t want to hang out.
“Lauren is coming back here in a couple of weeks.”
“Tell her to call me. Heather would love to see her, too.”
“I’ll do that.” Jodie wondered when it would be polite to walk away from them. Then Finn suddenly materialized beside her, smelling like soap and outdoors and...Finn.
He greeted everyone, made the appropriate amount of small talk, then, with a hand at the small of Jodie’s back, guided her toward an empty booth at the rear of the diner.
Jodie settled in, unable to stop the fluttering of her heart when Finn sat across from her, his smile resulting in the most attractive crinkles at the corners of his hazel eyes.
“How was your shift?” she asked.
“Quiet, thankfully. Just a couple of speeding tickets and one disorderly conduct. Piece of cake,” he said with another grin.
“Speeding. Who would commit such a nefarious deed?” she asked with mock horror as she picked up the menu.
“There are a lot of heavy-footed drivers in Saddlebank County. I’ve nabbed more than my fair share.”
“Serve and protect,” she quipped.
“Actually, our motto is Protection with Honor.”
“I know. I heard it many times,” she stated.
“Of course you would, though I’m having a hard time imagining your dad working it into ordinary conversation.”
Wrangling the Cowboy's Heart Page 10
