“as a solemn fast-day”: Harriet Elinor Smith and Richard Bucci, eds., Mark Twain’s Letters, Vol. 2, 1867–1868 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1990), 57.
“As security”: Charles Neider, ed., Autobiography of Mark Twain (New York: Harper & Row, 1959), 303.
12. “HOW THE IGNORANT AND INEXPERIENCED SUCCEED”
“Mr. Samuel L. Clemens”: Michael B. Frank and Harriet Elinor Smith, eds., Mark Twain’s Letters, Vol. 6, 1874–1875 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2002), 668.
“big-hearted man”: Benjamin Griffin and Harriet Elinor Smith, eds., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 2 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2010), 56.
“Certainly there is”: Peter Krass, Ignorance, Confidence, and Filthy Rich Friends: The Business Adventures of Mark Twain, Chronic Speculator and Entrepreneur (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley, 2007), 95–96.
“an institution”: Ibid.
“went to pieces”: Frank, Letters, 6, 171.
“a line of artificial”: Ibid., 55–56.
“waiting for Jones”: Ibid.
“There are not many”: Ibid.
“was prepared to seek”: Charles Neider, ed., Autobiography of Mark Twain (New York: Harper & Row, 1959), 305.
“He believed”: Ibid.
“The device”: Deborah Smith Pegues and Ricky Temple, Why Smart People Make Dumb Choices (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 1982), 158.
“was driving around”: Neider, Autobiography, 305.
“the first one”: Ibid.
“like adding a hundred servants”: Resa Willis, Mark and Livy: The Love Story of Mark Twain and the Woman Who Almost Tamed Him (New York: Atheneum, 1992), 139.
“profanity-breeding”: Carole Thomas Harnsberger, Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations (Mineola, NY: Dover, 2009), 469.
“It is my heart-warm”: Ibid.
13. “A LIE & A FRAUD”
“I can get along”: Harriet Elinor Smith and Richard Bucci, eds., Mark Twain’s Letters, Vol. 2, 1867–1868 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1990), 254.
“an engine or a furnace”: Charles Neider, ed., Autobiography of Mark Twain (New York: Harper & Row, 1959), 301.
“He was a specialist”: Ibid.
“on a salary”: Ibid., 302.
“the other dollar”: Ibid.
“The steam pulley”: Ibid.
“We’ve quit being poor”: Resa Willis, Mark and Livy: The Love Story of Mark Twain and the Woman Who Almost Tamed Him (New York: Atheneum, 1992), 120.
“suggested that I reserve it”: Ibid., 127.
“I am so sorry”: Harriet Elinor Smith, ed., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 1 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2010), 471.
to Titian: Hamlin Hill, ed., Mark Twain’s Letters to His Publishers, 1867–1894 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1967), 117.
“the best process”: Ibid., 116.
“will utterly annihilate”: Samuel Charles Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man (Boston: Little, Brown, 1947), 142.
“increase the value”: Ibid., 148.
“I never saw people”: Ibid.
“If the utility”: Ibid.
“for wall-paper stamps”: Ibid.
“who seemed”: Benjamin Griffin and Harriet Elinor Smith, eds., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 2 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2010), 54.
complete authority: Fred Kaplan, The Singular Mark Twain: A Biography (New York: Doubleday, 2003), 364.
“were to be”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 154.
“the case is”: Ibid.
“took advantage”: Peter Krass, Ignorance, Confidence, and Filthy Rich Friends: The Business Adventures of Mark Twain, Chronic Speculator and Entrepreneur (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley, 2007), 113.
“be proceeded against”: Ibid., 112.
“The bubble has burst”: Frederick Anderson, Lin Salamo, and Bernard L. Stein, eds., Mark Twain’s Notebooks & Journals, Vol. II (1877–1883) (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1975), 393.
“stole from me”: Griffin, Autobiography, 2, 490.
“That raven flew out”: Ibid., 54.
“to a man”: Ibid.
“I have some good news”: Henry Nash Smith, ed.,Mark Twain–Howells Letters: The Correspondence of Samuel L. Clemens and William D. Howells, 1872–1910(Cambridge: Belknap Press, 1960), 236.
“that hated property”: Smith, Autobiography, 1, 471.
14. “THE PROPORTIONS OF MY PROSPERITY”
“insults, for two months”: Resa Willis, Mark and Livy: The Love Story of Mark Twain and the Woman Who Almost Tamed Him (New York: Atheneum, 1992), 139.
“Charley, do you”: Samuel Charles Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man (Boston: Little, Brown, 1947), 358.
“ten years of swindlings”: Benjamin Griffin and Harriet Elinor Smith, eds., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 2 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2010), 52.
“skinny, yellow, toothless”: Harriet Elinor Smith, ed., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 1 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2010), 241.
“nothing about subscription”: Griffin, Autobiography, 2, 53.
“even Noah got”: Ibid., 58.
“something entirely new”: Ibid.
“starting life”: Ibid.
“to complain about”: Ron Powers, Mark Twain: A Life (New York: Free Press, 2005), 482.
“No one seems”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 279.
“greater than literature”: Ibid., 218.
“thought of nothing else”: Ibid.
“If you haven’t”: Albert Bigelow Paine, ed., Mark Twain’s Letters (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1917), 436.
“I think that”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 221–23.
“looked like a cross”: Peter Krass, Ignorance, Confidence, and Filthy Rich Friends: The Business Adventures of Mark Twain, Chronic Speculator and Entrepreneur (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley, 2007), 99.
“put it aside”: Hamlin Hill, ed., Mark Twain’s Letters to His Publishers, 1867–1894 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1967), 307.
“invented a more expensive”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 279.
“You haven’t asked”: Robert Pack Browning, Michael B. Frank, and Lin Salamo, eds., Mark Twain’s Notebooks & Journals, Vol. III (1883–1891) (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1979), 74.
“Try again”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 291.
“I was used”: Ibid., 266.
“I might have”: Ibid., 297.
“Some people”: Ibid., 279.
“heave your surplus energies”: Ibid., 267.
“put in ten or twelve thousand”: Benjamin Griffin and Harriet Elinor Smith, eds., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 3 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2015),332.
“had a number”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. III (New York: Chelsea House, 1980), 1151.
“an early example”: “Not on Mark Twain’s Watch,” Robb Report, August 1, 2007, http://robbreport.com/watches/editors-not-mark-twains-watch.
“He would remember me”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. II (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1912), 652.
“sweeping out the offices”: Griffin, Autobiography, 2, 61.
“commercial magnitude”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. II (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1912), 800.
“General, if that”: Ibid.
“General,” he went on: Ibid., 801.
“given us”: Paine, Letters, 452.
“totally free from debt”: Ibid., 467.
“frightened by the proportions”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 301.
15. “THIS AWFUL MECHANICAL MIRACLE”
“which was my study”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. II (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1912), 903.
“I knew all about”: Ibid., 903–4.
“always taking little chances”: Harriet Elinor Smith, e
d., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 1 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2010), 101.
“bright-eyed, alert”: Paine, Mark Twain, II, 904.
what it “now costs”: Robert Pack Browning, Michael B. Frank, and Lin Salamo, eds., Mark Twain’s Notebooks & Journals, Vol. III (1883–1891) (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1979), 424.
“does not get drunk”: Ibid., 147.
“10 will get work”: Ibid., 437.
“It is thus”: Frederic Bastiat, The Bastiat Collection (Auburn, AL: Ludwig Von Mises Institute, 2007), 34.
“What will it cost?”: Smith, Autobiography, 1, 104.
“can bankrupt you”: Paine, Mark Twain, II, 906.
“began to calculate”: Ibid.
“It takes a thousand”: Albert Bigelow Paine, ed., Mark Twain’s Letters (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1917), 731–32.
“inside of twelve months”: Browning, Notebooks & Journals, III, 215.
“all ready to talk”: Ibid.
“The machine is”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. III (New York: Chelsea House, 1980), 907–8.
“to have unlimited”: Resa Willis, Mark and Livy: The Love Story of Mark Twain and the Woman Who Almost Tamed Him (New York: Atheneum, 1992), 173.
“I expect to write”: Ron Powers, Mark Twain: A Life (New York: Free Press, 2005), 515.
“What a talker”: Paine, Mark Twain, II, 965.
“EUREKA!”: Ibid., 908.
“This is by far”: Ibid.
“All the other”: Ibid.
16. “OUR PROSPERITY BECAME EMBARRASSING”
“in a sort of delirious”: William Dean Howells, My Mark Twain: Reminiscences and Criticisms, ed. Marilyn Austin Baldwin (Baton Rouge: Louisiana State University, 1967), 61–62.
“a couple of pounds”: Samuel Charles Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man (Boston: Little, Brown, 1947), 361.
“would cost nearer”: Ibid.
“You did well”: Ibid., 364.
“Ah,” she said: Resa Willis, Mark and Livy: The Love Story of Mark Twain and the Woman Who Almost Tamed Him (New York: Atheneum, 1992), 170.
“coat of bleu stuff”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 388.
“We were very short”: Ibid.
“are nearer my size”: Ibid., 364.
“stir in this household”: Ibid., 261.
“to send some money”: Ibid., 367.
“The Greatest Book”: Justin Kaplan, Mr. Clemens and Mark Twain: A Biography (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1966), 289.
“going to go ”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 377.
“We did not consider”: Howells, My Mark Twain, 62.
“had decided that”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. II (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1912).
“sanguine soul”: Kaplan, Mr. Clemens, 290.
“what we call menial work”: Andrew Gyory, Closing the Gate: Race, Politics, and the Chinese Exclusion Act (Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 2000) 248–49.
“I do not love”: Robert Pack Browning, Michael B. Frank, and Lin Salamo, eds., Mark Twain’s Notebooks & Journals, Vol. III (1883–1891) (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1979), 272.
“Beecher,” it was said: Barry Werth, Banquet at Delmonico’s (New York: Random House, 2009), 20.
“If he writes”: Ron Powers, Mark Twain: A Life (New York: Free Press, 2005), 514.
“a chance to play”: Benjamin Griffin and Harriet Elinor Smith, eds., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 2 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2010), 74.
“to pass some marked”: Ibid., 73.
“color went out”: Ibid., 75.
“the finest suburb”: Browning, Notebooks & Journals, III, 323.
“It was easy”: Griffin, Autobiography, 2, 75.
“War literature of any kind”: Browning, Notebooks & Journals, III, 430.
“Probably everybody”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 387.
“Father of Ovariotomy”: Powers, Mark Twain, 536.
“infinitely grander & finer”: Hamlin Hill, ed., Mark Twain’s Letters to His Publishers, 1867–1894 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1967), 245.
“Customers had to pay”: Richard Zacks, Chasing the Last Laugh: Mark Twain’s Raucous and Redemptive Round-the-World Comedy Tour (New York: Doubleday, 2016), 7–8.
“The faster installment”: Ibid., 8.
“I am not whining”: Browning, Notebooks & Journals, III, 375.
“the slightest thing”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 386.
“How long he has been”: Browning, Notebooks & Journals, III, 374.
“an exceedingly hard summer”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 386.
“an attack of grip”: Columbus (GA) Enquirer, April 29, 1891, 1.
“Publisher of Gen. Grant’s Memoirs”: Browning, Notebooks & Journals, III, 625.
“want him to drop it”: Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man, 391.
“You and I”: Browning, Notebooks & Journals, III, 395.
17. “GET ME OUT OF BUSINESS!”
“I tell [Livy] that”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. II (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1912), 961.
“keep the ship afloat”: Ibid.
“Mrs. Clemens says”: Ibid., 962.
“hoped to sell”: Robert Pack Browning, Michael B. Frank, and Lin Salamo, eds., Mark Twain’s Notebooks & Journals, Vol. III (1883–1891) (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1979), 574.
“about the same length”: Ibid., 640.
“I have a vote”: Ibid., 574.
“the Paradise of the Rheumatics”: Ibid., 623.
“the disease world’s bathhouse”: Harriet Elinor Smith, ed., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 1 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2010), 74.
“private feed”: Ibid.,456.
“making a joyful”: Ibid.
“that baby”: Samuel Charles Webster, Mark Twain, Business Man (Boston: Little, Brown, 1947), 396.
“beyond description”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. III (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1912), 965.
“is superb, it is perfect”: Browning, Notebooks & Journals, III, 573.
“It does not seem credible”: Paine, Mark Twain, II, 965.
“That’s a mistake”: Ibid., 964.
“a most daring and majestic liar”: Fred Kaplan, The Singular Mark Twain: A Biography (New York: Doubleday, 2003), 472.
“The bloody machine”: Paine, Mark Twain, II, 967.
“Paige and I”: Richard Zacks, Chasing the Last Laugh: Mark Twain’s Raucous and Redemptive Round-the-World Comedy Tour (New York: Doubleday, 2016), 6.
“flirting with a good-looking clerk”: Corban Goble, “Mark Twain’s Nemesis: The Paige Compositor,” a paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the Association for Education in Journalism and Mass Communications, August 3–6, 1985.
“We are skimming along”: Kaplan, The Singular Mark Twain, 473.
“unless we sell”: Ibid., 441.
“I am terribly tired”: Paine, Mark Twain, II, 966.
18. “HIS MONEY IS TAINTED”
“drank almost a whole bottle”: Lewis Leary, ed., Mark Twain’s Correspondence with Henry Huttleston Rogers, 1893–1909 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1969), 10.
“if they go”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. II (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1912), 968.
“Nothing,” he said: Leary, Correspondence with H. H. Rogers, 114.
“telling her”: Ron Powers, Mark Twain: A Life (New York: Free Press, 2005), 554.
“raced around Wall Street”: Leary, Correspondence with H. H. Rogers, 11.
“so physically exhausted”: Peter Krass, Ignorance, Confidence, and Filthy Rich Friends: The Business Adventures of Mark Twain, Chronic Speculator and Entrepreneur (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley, 2007), 190.
“had ventured”: Leary, Correspondence with H. H. Rogers, 11.
&nbs
p; “I want you”: Paine, Mark Twain, II, 970.
“an irascible and contemptuous”: Leary, Correspondence with H. H. Rogers, 3.
“as fine a pirate”: Ibid., 5.
“giant trust”: Ibid., 4–5.
“grinding up the poor”: Ibid., 7.
“was of that class”: Ibid., 8.
“the Artful Dodger”: Richard Zacks, Chasing the Last Laugh: Mark Twain’s Raucous and Redemptive Round-the-World Comedy Tour (New York: Doubleday, 2016), 25.
“It’s a pity”: Powers, Mark Twain, 562.
19. “MARK TWAIN LOSES ALL”
“men who were there”: Lewis Leary, ed., Mark Twain’s Correspondence with Henry Huttleston Rogers, 1893–1909 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1969), 4.
“serene, patient”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. III (New York: Chelsea House, 1980), 1659.
“time is worth”: Benjamin Griffin and Harriet Elinor Smith, eds., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 2 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2010), 161.
“The only man”: Benjamin Griffin and Harriet Elinor Smith, eds., Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 3 (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2015), 231.
“stop walking”: Albert Bigelow Paine, ed., Mark Twain’s Letters (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1917), 596.
“better than a circus”: Leary, Correspondence with H. H. Rogers, 17.
“to hang this last”: Ibid., 19.
“bankrupt, deep in debt”: Richard Zacks, Chasing the Last Laugh: Mark Twain’s Raucous and Redemptive Round-the-World Comedy Tour (New York: Doubleday, 2016), 19.
“is the only one”: Ibid.
“I came up”: Leary, Correspondence with H. H. Rogers, 20.
“Farewell—a long farewell”: Ibid., 20.
“a classic hedge”: Zacks, Chasing the Last Laugh, 23–24.
“devouring every pound”: Albert Bigelow Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol. II (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1912), 984.
“Failure of Mark Twain,”: Zacks, Chasing the Last Laugh, 28.
“It is another”: Ibid., 29.
“my second is to those others”: Ibid., 31.
“It was confoundedly difficult”: Ibid., 32.
20. “KNOCKED FLAT ON MY BACK”
How Not to Get Rich Page 18
