In appearance, Lilith and the boy could have been brother and sister. The fact that one was a Trigon and the other a human made no difference. They had the same color of Red in them. Their eyes and hair were the same hue and their skin had the same ashy pallor touched by the terror they had encountered.
I now understood why the boy felt such an obligation to take care of Lilith. I knew I felt a similar need to protect her, but it wasn’t the same. The boy had lost the world he grew up in, as well as his family. Though Lilith had already lost her family, the boy didn’t want Lilith to live through what he had.
“We should stop soon for the night,” I said, as I looked up at the sky. Although it was still White, it had turned a darker shade, signaling that the end of the day was near. The boy also looked up, his hair contrasting with the world around us. He agreed and gently set down the sleeping girl.
I glimpsed at the spot we had picked. It looked the same as the area around it; White and barren. It was only a small distance from the river, which gave us our only sense of direction. The spot was in an open space where we would easily be seen, but we could just as easily see if anyone was coming.
The boy began to gather dried grass and twigs and proceeded to build a small fire. The fire, which was built with the White twigs and grass, had White flames and let out White smoke. With the fire, we could easily be seen, but the warmth was worth it.
Though the fire was small, it seemed to warm even the deepest parts of me. The heat radiated and gave off a White glow. In comparison to their Red color, the glow reflected off the forms of Lilith and the boy, but it seemed to bind itself to me. It snaked around me, wrapping itself excruciatingly close, but when the glow neared Lilith or the boy, it would snap back as if hurt.
As I realized numbness was encompassing me, I shook myself free. I didn’t know what had come over me. For just a second, in feeling nothing, I had felt content with the White.
I looked before me, past the eerie glow of the White flames and onto Lilith’s sleeping faces. Like a well-kept secret, each held something peaceful within itself. Parts of a smile played on her lips and I wondered what she dreamt of. Was it her much-loved mother or father? Was it the family cottage, now a speck in the sprawling lands around it? Or, as I dared to hope, was it us; the boy and me, who had both been equally charmed by the little girl?
CHAPTER 6
I woke to a peculiar, although somewhat familiar, sound. It was a sort of gasping noise, as if someone were choking on air. I looked wildly about me, expecting to see someone or something out of the ordinary. I don’t know exactly what I had anticipated seeing, but it certainly wasn’t what I found.
The boy was up, having also been awakened by the strange sound. He had glanced around, just as I had, in search of the source of the noise, and he found the same thing I did.
Lilith was still asleep, but her faces were troubled. She slept with a deep wrinkle on all her foreheads. Her lips were parted, an occasional sharply drawn breath escaping from them. Tossing her head from side to side, as if trying to avoid some unknown thing, she mumbled in her sleep. I could barely make out what she said.
“No,” Lilith whimpered. “No. Don’t leave. Please don’t leave me.”
There was no doubt in my mind that she was replaying the departure of her parents in her dreams. The mind is a cruel thing. It tortures us, bringing back thoughts we would rather not think and emotions we would rather not feel, and yet, if our mind suddenly fails to do either, we panic, believing something must be wrong with us.
“Why?” she asked her parents. “Did I do something wrong?”
I had heard those words from the little girl yesterday, and I felt the same empathy for them now as I had felt then.
Tentatively trying to wake her, I placed a gentle hand on the sleeping girl’s shoulder. “Lilith,” I called softly to her deaf ears.
Her eyes moved rapidly behind her lids, as if she were seeing something.
“Lilith,” the boy joined in with me to call her from her dream world.
The girl’s hand flew out grasping the first thing it touched. It was my hand. Her grip was stronger than I would have imagined for a petite little girl. It was almost as if she were using it to reach the surface from deep beneath the water.
She gasped, as though reaching air for the first time. She drank it in with the lust of a drowning man. Lilith’s eyes fluttered open, taking in the sight around her. The boy and I were hovering on either side of her.
She looked stunned, breathing heavily. We helped her sit up in front of the now long extinguished fire. As we had no idea what to say, neither of us said a single thing about the event.
The boy simply dug in his pocket. Retrieving a bundled up handkerchief, he laid out its creased corners on the ground and spread it open. In it was a small cake baked with what resembled poppy seeds and a butter knife with a wooden handle. “Hungry?” he asked, glancing up at me.
Oddly, I hadn’t given any thought to food in the time that I’d been in this strange land. It had been well over 24 hours since the last time I ate, but there was no gnawing feeling of emptiness in my stomach.
He began meticulously dividing the cake into equal parts, but when he thought Lilith wasn’t looking, he made her piece bigger.
It was a little thing, that cake, but the small gesture of dividing it made me think increasingly highly of the boy. I had thought that quite impossible, since I already held him in high esteem.
Strangely, after miles of walking, I couldn’t find any appetite and only nibbled at my piece. Then I offered what was left to Lilith, who had already finished her own share. Ravenous, she graciously took it.
I watched her, as she was finishing off her final morsel and still looked hungry.
“That was our last piece,” he said. “We have more food I took from the cottage, but we’ll need to collect some supplies today.”
“We better get going then,” I said, after making sure that Lilith was finished eating. “We have a lot of walking before us.”
Struggling to keep up, Lilith took two fast steps for every stride the boy and I took. Her grip on my hand eventually slackened and grew limp. I could barely hear her panting.
I think it was around midday when we decided to take a break. By now, Lilith was being carried by the boy again and I could tell that he was as exhausted as I was. So, when we came upon a clear pool of water, inviting in its stillness, we decided to stop.
‘Remarkably still’ was all I could think of to describe the pool of water. The water flowed in from the river, but it was silent in its motion. I decided to wade in, as the boy and Lilith rested by the bank.
The water gathered around my ankles, seemingly eager to pull me in deeper. It was smooth and formed around my body, encompassing me. The water was neither hot nor cold. Nor was it warm or cool. It gave the impression of having no temperature whatsoever.
I dove into it, sliding under its surface. The water rippled past my face, tracing the outline of my body. I felt no need to breathe, for I felt nothing. However, in that empty nothingness, I felt what calm should feel like. I was a void for the water to fill up. I was numb.
I spiraled down deeper, but I did not even feel that. The water’s surface above me was a barrier that kept the outside world away from me and, for that, I was glad. It was perfectly fine for me just to watch what was happening above, instead of taking part in it. In fact, it seemed I rather preferred that.
Above me, I saw a brilliant light. Rich in its splendor; it was hazy, but it still shined through to me. It seemed to glow and radiate light to wherever I was, but, for whatever reason, I could not feel it at all.
Then darkness came over my light. It blocked it completely, throwing me into the shadows. I was trapped in a world with darkness and no light, but I did not seem to care. My world was here now and I never wanted to leave.
Suddenly something grabbed at me. It pulled me up, disturbing whatever little bit of peace I had found. As my body was jerked toward
the surface, I left my tranquil mind behind and collided into reality.
“She’s not breathing!” I heard someone yell. I couldn’t tell to whom the voice belonged, only that I somehow knew them. I wanted to tell them that they were wrong, and that I was actually breathing. How else would I be conscious and thinking? But my lips were weighted down with the air that lay thickly around me. That was the last thing I remembered thinking before my mind went White.
The White in my mind was more like thick fog than solid color; nevertheless, the White was prominent. There wasn’t a distinction between the sky and the ground. It was all one and I was a part of it. I knew I was not supposed to be here, but I couldn’t remember where I was supposed to be either.
A face flashed in my mind. The image was fleeting; yet, it was engraved in my thoughts. I had seen the same face in the blade. Its bloodshot eyes bore into my own. Its cadaverous hand reached out for me. Strangely, I had no will to scream out nor to run. I had accepted the fate that was before me.
“She’s coming to.”
My eyes opened to the same White sky that was in my mind. It was exactly the same, except for the boy and Lilith, who were now crouched over me. They both looked genuinely worried. Lilith appeared to be on the verge of tears. I sat up a bit too quickly though, causing my head to swim.
“Take it easy,” the boy said. “How do you feel?”
“Fine,” I glanced back at the water. “The water ... something’s wrong with it. It made me feel different.”
“Different good or different bad?”
“I ... I don’t know.” I told the truth. I didn’t know how I felt about the empty emotions that the water had given me. In the water, I had felt nothingness, as I had never felt before. I was empty, but, in feeling nothing, I felt surprisingly satisfied. At that point, my head swam again and I consciously shook it in an attempt to free myself.
“Are you all right?” Lilith asked.
I smiled at her through my headache, but it must have looked like a wince, as she still looked worried.
“I’m fine,” I eventually said. “I’ve definitely been better, but I’m fine.” That statement brought a smile to Lilith’s baby face, so I stood up and grabbed her by the hand. “Enough playing doctor with me, we’ve got to get you to your grandparents.”
Lilith giggled bringing a smile to the boy’s face. The smile made him look younger and I wished I could have experienced that feeling with him.
I plastered a fake smile on my face to match Lilith’s grin. I knew that if she saw me happy, she would be, too. I had already decided I wasn’t going to tell Lilith or the boy what I had seen earlier in my head. It had probably been my imagination anyway, and I didn’t want to worry them any further.
With the three of us lined up in a neat row, we soon entered the Ever Forest. The trees were the tallest that I had ever seen. They towered over us, hiding us near their feet. Their number was so vast that, when we walked, they seemed to walk with us. Their leaves were as crimson as their trunks. It was as if someone had painted over them with a brush dipped in vivid Red paint.
“The trees in this forest never die,” the boy explained. “It’s been called the Ever Forest for as long as I can remember.”
Our footsteps crunched in the carpet of Red leaves under our feet. Although I felt no wind, leaves fluttered by our heads. They flew through the air guiding us to wherever our destination lay. Water droplets from an early rain hung on branches and glittered like precious stones. They slithered down tree trunks and, from time to time, fell on our heads making Lilith giggle.
Then, quite suddenly, Lilith began to cry. Tears streaked her face and her lips trembled.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying not to panic.
“I ...” she hiccuped. “I don’t know.”
“But why are you crying?” asked the boy. He, like I, seemed to have thought that she had misunderstood my question.
“I don’t know,” she repeated through her tears.
Walking along, I felt something cool on my cheek. It was so brief that I didn’t give it much thought, but it was there long enough to notice it. Soon after, I couldn’t help but think that something was amiss. I felt, for lack of a better word, odd.
Everything seemed normal, save for the peculiar feeling I had. I felt that was strange enough by itself, but soon, for no apparent reason, I felt terrified. I could feel the tension build up on my brow, as my body froze. My hands went slick with sweat and erratically quavered. My knees knocked into each other in an attempt to quicken my pace. My whole body was telling me to run.
Next to me, the boy suddenly let out a raucous laugh. Chortle after guffaw came pouring out of his mouth, reminding me of Ralph when we first met him. Almost doubling over, the boy clutched at his stomach, while he struggled to tell me something.
“It’s ... It’s the water droplets.” He grabbed at his sides unable to contain a laugh. “Keep walking.”
Following his advice, I willed my tense body to move forward. When I did, I felt the same tiny brush of coolness; however, this time, it was on my forehead. At the same time, I felt something bubbling up within me, erasing the stiffness I had felt earlier. With it, though, I felt something else: a distinct sense of discomfort.
I felt the color rising in my face. My cheeks turned strangely warm and my stomach churned. There was a curious feeling at the base of my stomach, which felt like a knotting of sorts. I glanced down to see if Lilith was feeling the same way, but her face displayed a different reaction.
Lilith’s eyes were downcast and her lips were tight. She seemed to be holding her breath. When she finally let herself breathe, she sucked in a breath, as if she were trying to keep something inside her; within her own self. But I heard the anguish and hurt in that one breath.
Grabbing Lilith and the boy, I ran. I had no way of knowing in which direction I was running, but I knew that I didn’t want Lilith to suffer any further. Suspended drop after drop of water crashed onto our faces pushing us to feel emotions that we did or didn’t want to feel.
I had wanted to feel for so long that I didn’t care what kind of emotion it was. For me, agony held the same sweetness that zest and contentment once held. I was enraptured by the feeling of torment. Each emotion washed over me, reminding me how it felt to be human again. I prized every emotion, but I knew that the boy and Lilith ached for their freedom to dictate how they felt. I ran for their sake, not mine.
We stopped running when we came to a clearing in the Ever Forest. It was a lonely looking patch of Red grass. The Red trees surrounded us. Looking on, they watched us pant, short of breath. Nonetheless, I knew this place was empty of those suspended drops of distilled emotion. It was a place where I knew they were safe.
The boy heaved, his arms resting on his knees. He struggled to catch his breath, and, when he did, he surprised me. “We’re not safe,” he said, his voice hushed.
“What?”
“We’re not safe,” he repeated.
Naturally, his words made me anxious, but I couldn’t see where danger could possibly lay. Aware that I was probably being overcautious, I looked around us carefully. I heard nothing save silence and I saw nothing save the trees.
“Why?” This time Lilith asked the question that was on the tip of my tongue.
Before the boy could answer, a swish of movement came from the trees. Lilith, the boy, and I automatically swiveled toward the sound, but we saw nothing. The places between the trees where the sound seemed to have originated were all blank and unmoving. I was about to turn back when I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye.
“There!” The boy pointed to a group of trees.
The trees he indicated looked almost identical to all the others surrounding the clearing. The only thing that set them apart was a lone branch from one tree, which was swaying in a nonexistent wind. All the other branches were still, except for that one.
Protectively placing us behind him, the boy cautiously made his way towar
d the group of trees. But when we again heard the sound of motion, it was coming from a different group of trees; this time, behind us.
“They’ve surrounded us,” he said.
“Who?” I asked.
“Them,” he said, pointing again to a random group of trees, and this time, we did see something.
Shadows descended from the trees. I had no idea where they could have hidden, but the trees seemed to spill out more and more of the shadows every second. From where we stood, I could only be sure of a few things: they were all Trigon men, there were many of them, and they were all armed.
They approached us as cautiously as the boy had approached them, but they raised self-bows, crossbows, and bows I couldn’t even name. They raised them all at us.
“Are you armed?” they called to us.
“No,” the boy said.
Then the Trigons conferred amongst themselves. Finally, seeming to settle on something, they called out to us again. “Release the girl and step back.”
I looked down at Lilith, who clutched at me, shaking.
“They think we’ve captured her,” the boy whispered. “We have to let her go.” He bent down to talk to Lilith. “You’ve got to go to them yourself.”
“I...I’m scared,” she admitted. Her voice was so small; it made me very aware of how alone she was in the world.
“Be brave,” the boy said, but he nodded at me, no doubt thinking the same thing I was.
I took the girl’s hand in my own, as we had done so many times before, and walked with her. Her steps were hesitant, but she kept walking forward. I admired her courage.
I could tell that the Trigons were uneasy at my walking with the girl. They stood their ground, still holding their weapons, but refrained from aiming them at us. I realized that they were afraid they might shoot the girl.
All That Is Red Page 4
