by Alice Gaines
And, come to think of it, fate or providence or the NFL had given him the perfect opportunity. His team was playing San Francisco this week. Only a stone’s throw from home. He’d get Kyle and the family together to clear the air. Then, he’d figure out the best way to approach Michelle and apologize. Tell her he loved her.
His step felt a hell of a lot lighter as he made his way toward the front offices. Past the defensive coordinator’s office, he went straight to the top. The head coach. He didn’t stop for the man’s secretary but went to his door, knocked on it, and then opened it. Bob Griffin glanced up in surprise at the intrusion. One of the media people—a woman in a sea of testosterone—sat across the desk from Griffin.
“Alex,” Griffin said. “Is there a problem?”
“I need to talk to you,” Alex answered.
“Would you mind, Rachel?” Griffin said.
“No problem.” Rachel left the room.
Alex didn’t bother to close the door behind him or take a seat. “I have dyslexia.”
Griffin stared at him. “And…”
“That’s it for right now.”
“You interrupted me for that?” Griffin said. Clearly, dyslexia didn’t matter a whole lot to him.
“Does it make any difference to you?”
Griffin shrugged. “You read the playbook well enough.”
“Actually, I don’t. I have to stare at it like a jigsaw puzzle to make sense of it.”
“You’re one of the brightest guys I’ve ever had.” Griffin put his elbows on the desk and leaned toward Alex.
“Thanks.”
“No, seriously. Your coach says you pick things up really fast and you come up with original ideas.”
Clearly, Griffin hadn’t spoken to Coach today, but he’d let that lie.
“There is something else,” Alex said. “After the game on Sunday, I want a few days to go home.”
Griffin stared at him as if he’d lost his mind. “The regular season starts soon. I need you in practice.”
His practices sucked the way he was now, but he didn’t have to mention that. He did have to fix it. “I’ll be back. Just give me three days.”
Griffin tipped back in his chair and studied Alex. “You’re not talking with another team, are you?”
“I’m not. This is personal.”
“All right.” Griffin huffed. “But two days, not three.”
“Deal.” Alex left before the man could change his mind. Now he only had to figure out how to get Michelle back.
Chapter Twelve
Michelle stared out her office window at the historic Cardmouth University quad. Situated in Cabot Hall, her department had some of the best real estate on the old part of campus. Cardmouth was one of the country’s oldest centers of higher learning. She still had to pinch herself every time she walked into this space and sat down to work on computer. Always, always, the scene outside stole her attention.
Right now, with the undergraduate students still on break, the walkways and buildings were largely empty. In the midst of East Coast summer, various hues of green dominated the scenery from the huge oak to the lawns to the ivy climbing the brick walls of nearby Stern Hall. On pleasant days like this, she could keep the window open to catch the occasional warm breeze and the smell of newly mown grass. And when summer ended, she’d have New England autumn to look forward to.
She had everything she’d ever hoped for. Or at least, she was building in that direction. She only had to make herself plow forward. Get over her silly dreams of a life with Alex. Dive into her work head first. After a while, the memories would fade around the edges, and she could look back on her days with Alex without pain.
Yeah, right. Another mental knife twisted in her gut. The expression on his face as she’d stood at the sink in the cottage’s bathroom. Their parting had hurt him every bit as much as it had hurt her. He might have been pretending the rest of the time—fooling himself as much as he did her that their affair had had to end. But for those brief moments, his face had been completely open and honest. The stupid bastard had sent her away, even though she’d given him an opportunity to tell her he wanted to create a future with her.
She’d tried. He hadn’t been willing to meet her halfway. He’d rejected her again. End of story.
Just to torture herself, she opened her internet browser and went to the New York Giants website. The team picture dominated the home page, and she found Alex easily. Just as handsome as ever, and now she knew how it felt to have him make love with her. Before tears could threaten…again…she went to the schedule page. He’d played in New England last week—the closest he’d come to here. This coming Sunday, San Francisco. At least, she’d know he was three thousand miles away and she couldn’t hope against hope he’d show up on her doorstep to beg her to forgive him and let him back into her life.
A light tap came at the open door, and she glanced over to find Hal Rainey standing on the threshold.
“Do you have a minute?” he asked.
“Of course.” She still had to get over the fact that someone like Hal asked permission to talk to her instead of the other way around. As he entered the room, she clicked her browser off. No reason to let her department head know she was spending work time following an NFL team.
Hal went to the window, gazed outside, and took a deep breath of the perfumed air. Then he turned to her with the smile she enjoyed more and more every day.
“Everything to your liking?” he asked. “Everyone treating you well?”
“Yes and yes. The lab’s fantastic. Thank you.” He had, indeed, given her great facilities. Lots of room for her and graduate students to complete work on state-of-the-art equipment.
Hal went to the chair across the desk from hers and sat. “Settle in and enjoy some down-time. When the undergraduates get back in two weeks, we’re all going to be crazy busy.”
“I can’t wait.”
“That’s the spirit.” Hal threaded his fingers together over his abdomen. “I’d like to make a suggestion, if you don’t mind.”
“Please.”
“It might be a good idea for an older faculty member to take you under his wing. Show you the ropes. Alert you to the Bermuda triangles of department politics. That sort of thing.”
A mentor. Exactly what she needed to get ahead here, especially if she was to avoid her colleagues’ pet peeves and personal bugaboos. “I’d welcome that.”
“Good, good.” He smiled again. “How about I volunteer for the job?”
“That would be wonderful, Hal. Really.” She couldn’t ask for anything better. She’d already come to care for him as yet another surrogate father along with Alex’s dad. Hal was not only a highly respected researcher, but he had real clout in the department and on campus. With him behind her, the struggle for tenure just got 100 percent easier.
“Let me give you a little advice to start,” Hal said. “I’ve seen a lot of young faculty members come and go. Every one of them the best and the brightest.”
“I would imagine so.” Cardmouth couldn’t fail to attract the cream of the crop.
“What distinguishes the successful from the”—he cleared his throat—“less successful is drive, not intellect. I’ve seen some talented people crash and burn because they didn’t know how to reach out and grab what they wanted.”
Was he telling her this for a reason? Had he noted a lack of drive on her part? She’d always worked herself hard to get to the next step or she wouldn’t have gotten this far at her age. But was that the same as drive?
“I’m not talking about being cutthroat,” he went on. “Backstabbing your colleagues won’t get you anywhere.”
“I would hope not.”
“But you can’t sit back and wait for what you want. You have to reach out and take it.” To illustrate, he clenched his hand into a fist, as if grasping something.
“I think I’m following you.”
“For example, if you want financial support for one of your st
udents, pester the committee until they give it to you. Be polite but firm. No one will hate you for it. They’ll respect you.”
“Right.” This would take some processing. First, she’d have to figure out how to apply his advice and then put it into practice. She was in the big leagues now and had to learn how to think and act like it.
“And say there’s a committee you’d like to head. Volunteer. Tell them why you’re the person they want on their team.”
“I see what you mean.”
“In general, I find that’s the best way to approach life,” Hal said. “You can’t sit and wait and expect what you want to drop into your lap. You have to go out and find it and make it yours.”
“Well, sure. But how do you do that if everything seems to work against you?” She might as well admit to herself that she wasn’t talking about her professional life here. She’d managed to make that go well for her so far, and with Hal’s help, she could compete at this elevated level. Her weaknesses were personal.
“You don’t take no for an answer,” Hal said. “When you see what you want, you go for it. If your first method fails, you try something else. You don’t give up until you’ve exhausted every possibility. But then at least you know you gave it your all.”
“Thanks.” Good Lord, her head was swimming with it all. “I hope I can come to you with specific questions when they pop up.”
“Of course. Let’s talk again in a month or so after the academic year is in full swing.” Hal rose from the chair. “By then, you’ll have some ideas about your next steps.”
“I’ll think about what you’ve said.” Major understatement there. Grabbing what you wanted would be stuck in her head and would probably end up in her dreams.
“Remember.” He made the grasping gesture with his hand again. “Go for what you want.”
“I will.”
He left then, and Michelle let her mind swim around some more. If she was to make a success of herself here, she’d better start planning what she wanted and how to get it.
But the larger question was her life. Did she really want to be alone with her career as her total focus? That could work, certainly, but it wouldn’t make her truly happy. She’d never have the joy of waking up to a new day full of laughter and love. She’d never have someone to share in her triumphs and help her fight back after defeats. Jim had told her all those things, and now Hal had reinforced them, whether he knew it or not.
And while she was on the subject, she might as well admit that she couldn’t settle for any old someone. Not after what she’d shared with Alex. He’d made her feel alive in ways she’d never experienced before. All of her five senses keen on all the beauty around her. He’d filled her heart with hope that living was so much more than mere existence.
So, if Alex was what she wanted, she had to find some way to grasp him and make him hers. She had to penetrate through the false pride that had kept them separated. She’d tried waiting and hoping, and she’d failed. Now was the time to act. Only how?
Her cell phone rang, and she almost ignored it. She didn’t have time for telemarketers or idle chatter now, but finally she relented, and her heart sped up at the display. Emma was calling her.
…
The family was assembled around the kitchen table as Alex had asked. Mom and Dad together not far from him, Chase at his usual place on one end. Alex only needed one more person before he launched into the speech he’d rehearsed on the drive here in the rental car.
Eventually, the sound of tires on the gravel outside told him Kyle had arrived. Mom glanced out the window toward the driveway. “Oh, good. We’re all here now.”
“Are you going to tell us now why both Chase and I had to leave the office to come home on a weekday afternoon?” Dad asked.
“As soon as Kyle gets inside.” And after Alex had let his former best friend blow off a little steam in his direction, no doubt.
Mom got up from the table and headed to the refrigerator. “I’ll get the pie.”
Pie? “Mom, why are you doing that?”
“Celebrations need food,” she said as she stared into the freezer. Then she started humming. Humming, of all things.
Kyle entered, and when he saw Alex, he stopped in his tracks. “Emma didn’t tell me you’d be here.”
“Mom, you didn’t?” Alex said.
She stood in the middle of the room with her signature chocolate ice cream pie in her hands and shrugged. “I wanted to make sure he’d come.”
“Sorry, Kyle,” Alex said. “I meant for you to know.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Kyle said. “I’m not afraid of you.”
“I didn’t think you were. I only need you to get past your anger long enough to listen to me.”
“I’ll be happy to eat a piece of Emma’s pie.” Kyle glared at Alex as he took a seat at the table.
“There, you see?” After placing the pie on the table, Mom went to the pot to brew some coffee.
“I could use your attention, Mom,” Alex said.
“You have it,” she said. “I wouldn’t miss for the world how you’ll explain that I was right all along.”
Alex hadn’t given her all the details for why he’d called this family meeting. But of course, she’d come to her own conclusions. He couldn’t correct her because she was right…about everything. If he’d listened to her—and his father and brother, too, for that matter—he would have avoided a lot of heartache. He’d have to accept his own. He’d caused it, after all. But he’d hurt Michelle, and he’d spend the rest of his life making up for that.
And he might as well begin right now. He took a moment to prepare himself mentally as he did for a game. He had only one goal, and nothing would keep him from it. If he could convince Kyle of his sincerity and get his approval, fine. If not, he’d go to Michelle as soon as he got back to the East Coast. He had the support of his family, and with them, Alex could do anything.
“As everyone guessed, while Michelle was here, we—”
“We know what you did.” Kyle sneered at him.
“We fell in love,” Alex said. “At least I did with her. I think she loves me, too.”
“Then, why did you let her go, Alex?” Chase said. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
“I wasn’t worthy of her. I’m still not, but damn it, I can’t live without her.” Crap. He never admitted weakness like this. He was always the guy you could count on, as a son, a brother, a friend, or teammate. He didn’t ask other people for help, but he’d do it now.
“What a crock,” Kyle said. “Do you tell that to your other girlfriends when you break up with them?”
“Easy, Kyle,” Dad said.
“I mean it.” Kyle gestured angrily in Alex’s direction. “The golden-boy star athlete isn’t worthy of someone? BS.”
“I’m dyslexic,” Alex said. “I can’t read worth a damn.”
“Glory hallelujah.” Mom threw her hands up into the air. “It’s about time.”
Kyle stared at Alex, his brows knitted in puzzlement. “You what?”
“You heard me. All through school, I had to fake as if I was normal.”
“You are normal,” his father said.
“Okay, but I had to pretend I could keep up with everyone else,” Alex said. “It was a lie, and I’ve continued to lie all these years.”
“For this, you dumped my sister?” Kyle said.
Alex placed his palms on the table and leaned toward Kyle. “Her mind is in the stratosphere, and I’m stuck in the mud. I didn’t see how she could possibly accept me if she knew the truth.”
“Then you don’t think much of her, do you?” Kyle said.
“That’s not fair,” Chase said.
Alex held a hand up. “It’s okay. But more than that, I don’t think much of myself. But I’m going to fix everything.”
Mom reached over and squeezed his fingers. “I’m very proud of you right now.”
“How are you going to do that?” Kyle said. At least, Kyle h
ad stopped staring at Alex as if he was some kind of disgusting bug.
“I’m going to go to her, confess everything, and beg for her forgiveness,” Alex said. “Then I’m going to tell her my life isn’t worth dirt without her and ask her to marry me.”
Kyle stared at him for a few seconds before he almost, almost broke into a smile. “Okay, then. Although I still ought to punch your lights out for hurting her.”
“I’m going to need everyone’s support. If things work out, I’m going to be surrounded by intellectuals. My life will be like the anniversary party on steroids. I’ll have a hell of a time trying to fit in, but I’ll do it for Michelle.” He’d have to live with discussions of constructs and paradigm shifts and who knew what else? But he’d have the woman he loved by his side.
“We’re all here for you, son,” Dad said.
“You bet,” Chase added.
“Yeah, me too,” Kyle said.
“Why don’t we have a piece of pie, instead?” His mother rose to get plates and a knife and then sliced into her creation. Chase grabbed some forks from a drawer, and he and Dad served.
Mom glanced at Alex with a definite twinkle in her eye. “Anything else you want to add?”
“You were right,” he said. “Mom is always right.”
“I’ve known that for thirty-five years,” Dad said.
Now that everyone had pie, Mom got the coffee pot and some mugs. And sure enough, they had a little celebration going on. As fabulous as it all was—including having Kyle back as a friend—Alex couldn’t stick around. The team needed him back, but more importantly, he had to get himself to New England to Michelle. To fight for her.
After he finished his last bite of pie, Alex pushed his plate away and rose. “This has been great. I love you all, but I need to get to the airport and see what kind of flight I can get to the East Coast.”
“No rush, sweetie,” Mom said. “You just got here.”
“Yesterday, and it’s time I got going.”
“Why not use the computer in the study to book a flight?” Mom said.
“Because if I’m at the airport, I can get on whatever plane they have leaving.” Something odd was going on. Mom should be encouraging him, not trying to delay his departure. Was she up to something else? “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
