by Amira Rain
I texted back that I was, but that I was up at Desmond's after getting a sudden urge to talk to him. But he's not here, though, or at least he isn't answering his door.
Soon I received a response. He and others have left the city. Eric got called away during dessert. Said Angel shifters spotted ten miles north.
With my anger having cooled, I texted back thanking her and saying that now I was really going to bed.
Despite how deflated I felt and how tired I was, I just tossed and turned all night, waking up several times thinking about how upset Desmond clearly was about my pregnancy. However, maddeningly, several other times, I awoke after dreaming about being in his arms for some reason. In one of the dreams, he'd been kissing me, plundering my mouth with his tongue. In the dream, I'd been moaning, running a hand along the hard ridges of his back.
I cursed my subconscious for seeing fit to give me such an absurd dream. I never wanted to be back in bed with Desmond again. At least, that's what I told myself. However, the way I'd awoken from my sensual dream, a little breathless and sweaty, told a different story.
The next day around noon, Emma dropped Jake off at the childcare center within the tower, and the two of us went out into the city. It was a glorious May day, warm and sunny, though this beautiful weather didn't exactly match my mood. In fact, the beautiful weather barely even registered.
Sleep-deprived, slightly queasy, and unable to stop thinking about Desmond, I was kind of off in my own little world of unhappiness. Then, while crossing the street, the smell of exhaust fumes from a large delivery van that had just rumbled by made my stomach suddenly lurch.
I told Emma that maybe I should just head back to the tower.
"Those fumes just about made me lose my breakfast, and besides, I just don't feel like I'm going to be very good company today."
We came to a stop on the sidewalk, and Emma shook her head at me.
"Nope. Not letting you head back to the building. I think you need some time out and about, and that's what you're going to get. And as far as not being good company, that's fine. Friendship one-oh-one...friends hang out even when one of them is going through something tough and may not be be their usual self."
"Well, thanks, but all these fumes are really going to make me gag."
Another couple of trucks had rumbled by, along with a long string of cars.
"Well, that's why we're going to just get the heck away from all the fumes and head to one of my favorite little parks just a block from here. It's actually a brand-new favorite, because it was just created this past March, over the site of one of the buildings that were destroyed a couple years ago. It's pretty much just a football field-sized patch of grass, potted flowers, and benches right now, with a few dozen newly-planted trees, but it's really nice.
“It's called 'Serenity Park,' and I think it'll be the perfect place for us to spend some time today. So, now all you have to decide is what we should bring with us for lunch. Your options are only limited by the number of takeout places on this block, and that number is probably a hundred. And, just so you know, I'm kind of lobbying for Chinese, but I'm letting the pregnant lady make the pick. We can even get our lunches from different places if you want."
Chinese actually sounded amazing to me. So amazing that my stomach growled right then, even as it still roiled with a touch of nausea at the same time.
A short while later, Emma and I were at the park, sitting on a bench with our lunches in our laps. Watching a mixed-gender group of about a half-dozen people tossing Frisbees to each other a good distance away, Emma and I ate in silence for a good little bit; but then she set her plastic fork in her Styrofoam container now half-full of fried rice and sweet-and-sour chicken.
"So, in case you're still feeling like you want to talk to him, I wanted to let you know that Desmond, as I'm now calling him, not Commander Grant, should be back to the tower this evening. Eric called me this morning and said that they had a hell of a time last night locating the Angel dragons who were spotted to the north...had to chase them down, all over creation. And then once they did spot them, fight with them, and kill them, Desmond's eastern scouts reported another group.
“So, off went Desmond and his elite team of Destroyers again. Now they're a hundred-some miles north, way into Wisconsin, doing some kind of surveillance operation on one of the largest Angel dragon encampments, the one where their leader, Darius Archer has been seen. I don't think they've even slept. I know Eric hasn't, because Desmond hasn't, and as Desmond's right-hand man, Eric follows his lead."
The group of young men and women tossing the Frisbees suddenly erupted into wild whoops and cheers after one of them made an incredible catch, and Emma waited several seconds until all the noise had died down before continuing.
"Anyway, Desmond will probably be back this evening, and I just wanted to let you know that. But...if you want my advice...I would wait to talk to him, if you still want to, until he's had a chance to sleep. I know Eric usually only communicates with grunts and growls after getting home from one of these long missions until he's gotten at least six good hours of shut-eye.
“Also, if you give Desmond a day or two before approaching him, that might give him some time to think about things a bit before talking, and I have a feeling he might have a whole lot to think about."
I sighed, watching the Frisbee-players happily leaping and tossing in the sunshine.
"Yeah. That's for sure."
I definitely saw her point about waiting to talk to him, and I agreed that I would. I then went on to tell her the full story about Desmond, from the night we'd met, to me finding out I was pregnant, to my anger at how devastated he'd looked the night before.
"It wasn't like I expected him to jump up and down with joy about an unplanned, very unexpected pregnancy or anything, but I guess I just...I don't even know what. It just really hurt me that he looked as if he'd just heard the worst possible news in the world, and that hurt made me feel so angry with him. I'm still kind of angry, actually.
“About last night, and also about the way he just left without saying goodbye the night we were together. I mean...not to go into too many details, but I'm pretty sure that our time together in my bed was pretty enjoyable for us both. And even before that...when we were at the old car show...I felt pretty sure that we were really connecting on some level. “He was the one who even insisted on treating me to something to eat, and it was his idea for us to dance.
“Although I completely realize that many men can be quite charming when they're trying to get a woman into bed. That's another thing, though...I was really kind of the instigator of that. I was the one who suggested we go back to my apartment, and I was the one who asked for him to kiss me the moment we walked in the door.
“And he was very, very receptive to that all, but...." Sighing, I paused for a moment or two. "I don't even know what. I need some answers...just need to talk to him and find out why he bolted, and if he's really as devastated about the pregnancy as he looked last night, or if he was just upset because he was so stunned. But you're right that I should wait until he's well-rested, and I will."
"Good."
Not wanting to dwell on Desmond any longer, because I knew I was kind of working myself up, I picked up my plastic fork and dug into my chicken lo mein again, telling Emma to tell me about her and Eric.
"If you don't mind my asking, are the two of you really just friends, or it a little more than that?"
Lowering a forkful of fried rice, Emma quickly shook her head.
"Oh. No, we're really just good friends...have been for a few months. Sometimes he flirts with me a little and acts like maybe he wants us to be more than friends, and sometimes I think that maybe I want us to be more than friends, but...no. I don't even like to let myself start thinking in that direction."
"Well, if Eric seems like he might be receptive, why not?"
Gazing on her Styrofoam container, Emma began picking at the remainder of her food, separating the chi
cken from the rice.
"Well...he may flirt with me a little, but I know deep down that Eric would probably never want me for any kind of a serious romantic relationship."
"Why not?"
"Well, just for starters, although Eric is great with Jake, I'm not sure if he'd be too keen on the idea of raising another man's child full-time, especially since he has no kids of his own yet; so I'd be the only one bringing a non-biological child of the other person into the relationship. Eric's also never been married, and I have, and I loved my husband deeply and always will, and Eric knows that.
“And I know that might make some men very uncomfortable, or jealous in a strange way, like they're competing with a ghost or something."
With her warm brown eyes holding a lot of pain, Emma paused to poke at her chicken some more, then finally set her fork down and closed the container.
"Basically, Eric is an incredibly handsome dragon shifter who could have any woman he wants. He could easily find a woman with no child, and no deceased husband, and that's probably who he should find and who he really wants to find. Sometimes I even think Eric is only friends with me and checks in on me and Jake so often because he feels sorry for me being a widow and having a child with health problems."
"I'm sure that's not true."
Looking out at the Frisbee-players in the distance, Emma lifted her slender shoulders in a shrug.
"I guess I just don't want to ruin our friendship to find out. Oh, and not to mention that with Eric being Desmond's top lieutenant, and kind of in the public eye, I'm sure he'd never want a complete failure of a Gifted as a long-term girlfriend or wife. Common sense just tells me that. Successful people want to be matched with other successful people."
"But you are successful."
"At what? I wasn't successful at college, then I wasn't successful at being a secretary, and now I'm definitely not successful at being a Gifted."
"Well, I think you're pretty successful at being a wonderful mom to Jake."
Emma cracked a smile. "Well, maybe. I hope I am. And, really, that's the most important thing to me...that I be a good mom."
I smiled back. "Well, you're doing it. So, hold your head up high."
Not a split-second after I said that, one of the Frisbee players yelled "Heads up!" Emma and I ducked just in time to have a wildly-thrown Frisbee sail right over our heads.
Suppressing laughter, I turned my face to look at her.
"Or keep your head down to avoid being knocked out by a Frisbee. Whatever."
Later that day, we picked Jake up from the childcare center, where he'd been happily playing with several other babies his age, and took him to a kid's carnival at a different park several blocks away from the tower.
There, he enjoyed his first pony ride with Emma slowly walking along with the old pony, holding Jake sidesaddle because of his non-bendable leg braces. Jake giggled and clapped and tangled his fingers in the pony's thick mane, and Emma smiled and laughed and periodically planted kisses on his chubby, dimpled cheeks.
With my heart swelling, I watched the scene, thinking about how much joy I was going to experience with my own baby. No matter if Desmond ultimately wanted to share in that joy or not.
Late that evening, I was standing out on my bedroom balcony with a mug of herbal tea, looking out onto the twinkling city lights below and the cloudy night sky above when I spotted a few dozen dark shapes moving across the clouds.
At first absolutely perplexed and even a bit frightened, I watched the quickly-moving shapes for a few moments as they got a little closer. It was then that I saw that each shape had wings, a thick body, and a long tail. Dragons. One of them was several lengths ahead of everyone else, seeming to be leading them in, and I assumed this dragon was Desmond.
With a flash of something like irritation but with an ache in my chest at the same time, I watched him until he disappeared above the tower, surely about to land somewhere and then go on up to his penthouse for some badly-needed sleep.
After sleeping so poorly the night before, I myself was in need of some good sleep, but again, I just tossed and turned that night. It was around two in the morning before I finally managed a decently long stretch of slumber before waking up again around four after having some vague dream about Desmond.
The next day, Emma took me to the Gifteds' training facility, which was located in a building just a few down from the tower. With extremely high ceilings and a vast, open main floor space, the facility honestly reminded me of a gymnastics center, minus the bars and beams. The flooring was even made of some padded, springy material that gave it a feel similar to a spring floor. Also, there was a viewing gallery type place on one side of the main floor where people not participating could sit and watch, similar to a gymnastics gym. It was there that Emma parked herself and told me she'd watch and wait for me.
"Brianna will be here soon, and she'll tell you what to do."
Brianna did arrive soon, along with Courtney and at least a dozen other Gifteds, many of whom looked me over silently and intently, as if very curious about their fellow Gifted who was having their commander's baby. As I'd suspected it would, word about my pregnancy and the identity of my baby's father had traveled fast, and ever since, I'd been getting similar sorts of intense, curious looks wherever I went in the tower.
Emma had said they were "looks of envy," but I was just glad that so far, I hadn't been the target of any outright hostility. Emma told me that before I'd arrived, women trying to win Desmond had been "something like a national sport, if Chicago were a nation," and that news of my pregnancy had left a lot of women very disappointed. Additionally, she'd asked me if I hadn't noticed all the women "looking longingly" at him in the restaurant the night of my news, but I really hadn't. I'd been far too preoccupied with other matters.
After introducing me to all the other members of this particular "team" of Gifteds, Brianna told me the basic rules of the training "game," winding her long, pale blonde hair into a messy bun at the top of her head while she did so.
"So, basically, a few of us are going to be in full, heavily-padded, rubberized suits, including me, and it's us who are going to be playing the part of Angels-slash-Angel-dragons. The rest of you guys will be zapping and levitating, per your individual gifts, just as if this were an actual fight. You, Madison, will be trying to zap me and the other 'Angels,' but it won't hurt us, because of our suits.
“We 'Angels' aren't able to move very fast in these extraordinarily cumbersome and kind-of-annoying suits, but we'll be trying to get away anyway, while zapping back at you Gifteds just like real Angels will try to do.
“We won't actually be zapping you guys, though; we'll be aiming many feet above your heads. Although if you do ever accidentally get zapped, because it does sometimes happen, don't worry. It hurts, but keep in mind that a person has to be zapped a dozen or so times, in quick succession, in order for it to seriously injure or kill them.
“Also, sidebar, several pregnant Gifteds have been accidentally zapped over the past couple of years, and their babies were perfectly healthy, including my own daughter; so, don't worry about that if you do ever accidentally get zapped. Anyway, meanwhile during this whole 'game,' the levitators will be doing their thing, too, against us 'Angels' while you zappers are zapping.
“It all really is just kind of like a game once you get into it, and you'll learn as you go, and you might even have some fun while practicing how to fight real Angels and Angel dragons."
Soon I was having fun while trying to get into the swing of things with the other "zapper" Gifteds. The whole thing was honestly kind of like a game of laser tag, and it ignited the competitive drive I'd developed while competing in gymnastics. I also liked how the "game" required physical skills similar to the ones required by gymnastics, like speed, agility, and stamina. After an hour or so of the "game," I was sweating buckets and loving every second of it.
I did, however, periodically experience a little pang every time I glanced over a
t Emma, who was scrolling through her phone in the seating area, looking more than a bit glum. I resolved that sometime soon I'd talk to her about the "mental block" Eric thought she had about using her Gifted skill and see if I couldn't try to help her work through it somehow.
That evening, I intended to go see Desmond and have a talk with him, but I ended up being so exhausted from Gifted practice and unpacking some moving boxes that I crashed out on my bed at eight and slept until six the following morning, finally getting the good night's rest I needed.
After showering, dressing, and having breakfast, I took the elevator up to the ninetieth floor, hoping that Desmond hadn't already left to lead his men on a morning patrol around the outskirts of the city, as Emma had told me he usually did. We were long overdue to have a few words.
