“We have come up with a way to free you.”
She sniffed. “The only way I’d ever be free is if Dennett was to die.” She paused and cried, “God, how awful to wish another person dead. Look at what I’ve become.”
He kissed her head. “I love you, and you’re correct. Dennett dead is the only way to know you’d be truly safe and free of that monster.”
Serena went stiff in his arms, not quite believing what she heard. She pushed out of his hold and sat up. “Tell me you aren’t going to kill him.”
“You said it yourself. It’s the only way.”
She shook her head. “No! You, a murderer? You’d never live with yourself. You despise violence. For you it’s a last resort and a matter of honor. You can’t kill him. You’d come to resent me for turning you into someone you’re not.” She stood and paced the floor. “No. I can’t let you do it.”
He came up to stand behind her. His breath was warm on her neck when he finally spoke. “There is no question of let.” He pulled her back against him, hugging her tight. “And I’m not going to kill him in cold blood. It’s a matter of honor—your honor. Perhaps if my mother had had someone to champion her, she’d still be alive today. I’ve challenged him to a duel. He mistreated you, and I shall make him pay.”
Serena noted the tension in the strong arms holding her. Anger seethed in him. He was angry on his mother’s behalf too. Guilt started to swallow her up. He could die if he faced Peter. This duel would not halt at first blood. It would be to the death. She turned in his embrace and searched his face. His features displayed no sign of the dangerous force he could become. His battle scars made him look weak. It was a false mask, for his feats of bravery and courage on the battlefield were legendary. He was lethal with a pistol.
Even so … She bit her lip and let the worry envelop her. Peter was also good with a pistol.
“I won’t let you die for me. I’m not your mother. I’m prepared to fight him in court. I don’t care about my reputation.”
“That could take years.” He put his fingers to her lips. “You know a man like Dennett won’t let it get to court. He’d see you dead first.”
She buried her head in his jacket. She could hear his heart pumping steadily. “I can’t stand the thought of you letting him take a shot at you. He’s good.” His heart sped up beneath her ear and he tensed. Serena looked up and caught the quick flash of something in his eyes. He was hiding something. “The duel is with pistols?” she asked slowly. “Remember, we promised there’d be no more lies between us.”
His reply was reluctant. “No. He chose rapiers.”
Her hand flew to his injured shoulder. “He’s done this on purpose. He knows you’re injured. Oh my God!” She looked with horror at Christian.
“Yes, but he doesn’t know about your treatment. The liniment you’ve been applying is working. The shoulder is more mobile than before, and Hadley is going to work the liniment in deep before the duel. I’ll be perfectly fine.” He kissed her lips. “Let’s not argue. I came here to spend some time with you.” He pushed her toward the door. “Go and lock it. I want to show you how much I love you,” he said tenderly.
With a heavy heart and a sick stomach, Serena locked the door. She tried to put on a bright smile as she walked back to where he lay sprawled on the settee.
There was no way she could let him fight this duel. If he got hurt or was killed, she would not be able to live with herself. This was her mess and she would sort it out.
As she straddled his lap and bent to take his lips in a sensual kiss, she made a plan. She deepened the kiss, desperation in each movement. She fumbled to release his erection from his trousers. He seemed to sense the urgency too, pulling her breasts free of her dress with little finesse.
This would be the last time she made love with Christian.
Tomorrow she would be either dead or Mrs. Peter Dennett once more.
Chapter Nineteen
They’d made love quickly and urgently, and when it was over she was left with only his scent and the memories of his touch.
That’s all she had left of him.
He’d kissed her goodnight. It felt more like a goodbye. He made her promise not to interfere. He held her as if he never wanted to let her go, and told her how much he loved her.
Then he was gone. Marisa and Helen soon came and found her. They too were upset and worried, and did their best to offer comfort. She wished they would leave her alone, because Serena had come to a decision. She couldn’t let Christian sacrifice himself on her behalf. She’d rather die.
She had to leave. She hated to break a promise, but she would not let him die for her. What about Lily? Who would look after the little girl if something happened to him?
Suddenly Serena desperately wanted to see Lily and secretly say goodbye. She had to try to explain why she was leaving. She didn’t want Lily to ever think that Serena had left because of something she’d done.
Once she’d said goodbye to Lily, Serena would take beautiful memories with her that she hoped would sustain her into old age. Or for however long Peter let her live. She knew she risked her life returning to a man like Peter, but Christian’s life meant more to her. He had Lily and the estate to care for. He would not be in a life-threatening position if he had never met her.
A half hour later, she asked Marisa and Helen for some privacy. They reluctantly left her, concern and fear flashing across their faces.
She sat patiently waiting for the house to quiet, planning her move. She would set the clock back, back to the night she’d fled Virginia, and right the situation.
Dusk was fast approaching. There was no way Arend’s men would allow her to leave the house. She’d have to sneak out to visit Lily to say her goodbyes. She’d leave the same way Christian had arrived, over the garden wall at the back of the property. If he could get in unseen, she could get out unseen.
Serena changed into clothes more befitting a governess. If she could sneak over the wall, she’d walk as a servant to Christian’s.
Getting over the wall at the back of Sebastian’s garden was not as easy as Christian had made it seem, but she managed by using the vines that twined over the wall.
Once on the street, she walked with purpose, head down, as if she were simply a servant on an errand. Once she made her way the two blocks to Christian’s imposing mansion, she entered via the servant’s entrance.
The cook gave a shriek when she pushed back her hood. “Lord, lovey, you scared me.” Then her face colored and she became flustered, curtseying and saying, “Beggin’ your pardon, my lady.”
“Hello, Mrs. Clarke. Don’t tell anyone I’m here. I’ve just popped round to see Miss Pearson as a surprise. Is Lily in the playroom?”
“She’ll be right pleased to see you. Been pining, she has. Hardly ate any of her supper.”
As she removed her cloak, Serena suggested, “Why don’t you fix a tray of food for us both and I’ll try to coax her to eat something.”
“Bless you, my lady.”
Once Mrs. Clarke had put fresh bread and two bowls of delicious stew on a tray, Serena took it upstairs.
Her heart broke as she entered the playroom and glimpsed Lily curled up on the daybed, her eyes red-rimmed and her expression so sad.
“I hear you haven’t been eating, young lady.”
“Serena!” Lily’s face broke into a smile and she raced across the room. “Mind the tray. I thought I’d have supper with you.”
The smile vanished from Lily’s face, and it crinkled up as if she were going to cry again. “How can you eat when Lord Markham might die tomorrow?”
It was just as well she’d put the tray down on the table or she would have dropped it. How had Lily heard about the duel? She couldn’t turn to hug Lily because the child had wrapped her skinny arms tight around Serena’s waist from behind and was sobbing against her back.
Lily must have overheard something. Surely Christian hadn’t told her about the duel. He wouldn’t
be that cruel.
She gently prised Lily’s arms from around her waist and turned round, smoothing her hand over Lily’s hair. “Shh, sweetheart. Crying isn’t going to help Lord Markham. Neither is making yourself ill. Come, let’s eat something and then we’ll have a talk and decide what to do.”
Lily wiped the back of her hand across her face, brushing away her tears. “You’re right. We need a plan.”
Serena knew she was only putting off the inevitable as she set the small table in Lily’s playroom.
“I miss you,” Lily said as she buttered her bread and dipped it in the stew. “I miss you too. I wish it could be different. But …”
Lily put the butter knife down. “Lord Markham says that after the duel you’ll marry him. I want that so much, but I feel so guilty too.”
“Guilty? What have you got to feel guilty about?”
Her face turned pink. “I overheard Lord Markham tell Lord Fullerton that he’d marry you once Dennett was dead. I know Lord Dennett is your husband.”
Serena frowned. “Overheard? I hope you have not been eavesdropping, young lady.”
Her flush deepened. “Well, I knew something was wrong. Lord Markham explained why you’d had no choice but to leave us for a short while, and that you were hiding from your husband, who was a very bad man.”
Serena gave her a small smile. “He is a very bad man.”
“Why did you marry him, then?” Lily asked.
She looked into the child’s face and struggled for words. She didn’t want to frighten her, or make her untrusting, but sometimes knowledge was safety. “I didn’t know his true character before I married him. I let his looks blind me to his faults. There is a lesson to be learned there, my girl. A pretty face can hide evil. I didn’t take enough time to get to know him.” She shuddered. “If I had, I would never have married him.”
“I wish you had killed him,” she said in anger. “Then Lord Markham would be safe and we could all stay together. Now I might be left on my own again.” She looked pleadingly into Serena’s eyes. “Whom will I have to love then?”
Whom indeed. Serena could not promise her a home. She’d never take a child into Peter Dennett’s world, and if Christian failed, she would have to run once again. She’d be running forever.…
“Lily, darling, I don’t want you to worry. The duel won’t take place. I promise you that. You won’t lose Christian.”
Lily looked somewhat mollified and they continued to eat in silence. However, being a bright child, Lily clearly was working through Serena’s bold statement. “How? How do you know the duel won’t take place?”
Lily’s eyes had narrowed and Serena knew that if she lied, Lily would never trust her again. “Because I’m going to stop it.”
“How exactly?”
She put her spoon down, food now forgotten. “I’m not sure. I’ve yet to come up with a plan.”
Lily’s eyes widened in horror. “Don’t you dare go back to your husband. I heard the men talking. Lord Fullerton said your husband would kill you if you did. I couldn’t bear that,” and she started to cry again. “Promise me. Promise … on my mother’s grave.”
Serena swallowed back her own tears. “I’m not sure what else I can do.”
“What if I asked your husband? Or better yet, talked with Lord Markham? Father used to say, ‘Who overcomes by force hath overcome but half his foe.’ ”
Serena sat stunned as the Milton quote came from the mouth of such a young lady.
“I never really understood what Father meant, but now I understand. If Lord Markham kills your husband, it won’t end well for any of us. Lord Markham will be punished.”
When she didn’t say anything—what could she say?—Lily’s shoulders slumped and she looked defeated. He would be punished, as this duel would be to the death. Peter thought he held the advantage, and with rapiers he definitely would. Now her tears flowed freely.
Lily took one look at Serena’s tears and pushed back from the table and ran crying into her bedchamber. Serena felt the hopelessness begin to swallow her up. She was so tired. Tired of being afraid, not just afraid for her but also for Christian. Her battered soul needed comfort, but Lily needed comfort more.
She followed Lily into her room, climbed onto the bed, and pulled the little girl into her arms. They clung together and cried.
Soon sleep overtook them both.
In the early hours of the morning, Christian was woken by a knock on his bedchamber door. It was still dark outside. With no preamble, Arend and Hadley strolled in.
“Time waits for no man, and we are running out of it. That shoulder needs to be treated. I’ve requested a hot bath to loosen the stiff muscles, then I’ll work in the liniment.”
Arend added, “I’ve got hot bricks being readied for the carriage to keep the muscles warm and loose on the ride to Hampstead.”
Christian realized they were taking his mind off what was to come. He rose and pulled on his robe, walking to his writing desk in the corner of his bedchamber. “Before we get started on my preparation,” he said, drawing out a bunch of sealed letters, “I’ve some notes that I wish to hand into your care.”
“Christian, don’t. We will see you through this fight. Right is on your side.” Hadley’s defiant words seemed to choke him, and he refused to take the letters Christian tried to hand him.
“There is a letter for Serena. I’ve named Maitland as Lily’s guardian, and I’ve split my considerable fortune between Serena and Lily. The title and estate obviously go to my uncle Joseph as the next living heir.”
Arend stepped forward and took the letters from his outstretched hand. “I’ll also ensure Serena and Lily are safe. Rest assured, Dennett will die should he win this duel. I’ll not let him take Serena.”
Christian couldn’t speak, so he merely nodded.
His valet announced the bath was ready, and the gentlemen went to work.
Serena didn’t know why she had awoken, but she was pleased she had. It took her a moment to realize where she was—in Lily’s bed in Christian’s home. She relaxed back with a smile.
Seconds later a curse issued from her lips as she noted it was nearing dawn. She had to get to Peter. The duel must not take place. Damn it all. She’d fallen asleep when she should have been making her way to Peter to beg for Christian’s life.
She moved silently so as not to wake Lily. Pushing aside the blanket she’d pulled over them last night, she slipped from the warmth of Lily’s soft bed. She bent to place a butterfly-light kiss to Lily’s cheek, and gasped—for Lily wasn’t in her bed. It took only moments for the dread to invade her limbs. She knew exactly where Lily would have gone, and as Serena ran through the house frantically calling for Roberts, she prayed she wouldn’t be too late.
“How much of a head start does she have?” Maitland’s stoic calm was all that held Serena together.
“Thomas said he heard Jack leave about half an hour before five this morning. They’ve gone together.” Thomas was Christian’s head groom, and Jack his son. “I should have known she’d make friends with the household children her age. We’ve been here over a week and she’s lonely.”
Maitland’s lips thinned. “You’re sure she’s gone north?”
“Thomas says that Jack knows where Kenwood is. What boy doesn’t know the infamous dueling ground? Besides, he knew his son was up to something last night. He’d been behaving oddly. The two of them have planned this. Lily inferred we had to have a plan.”
“There is no need to panic. Arend and Hadley will ensure they are kept safe and out of harm’s way. Hadley won’t let them see the duel.”
“That’s if they make it there in one piece. Anything could happen to them. I blame myself. I knew how upset she was last night, but it never occurred to me she’d try to ride to Christian’s rescue.” Underneath the cold, clammy fear, there was also pride. Clever girl.
The sun had risen by the time the men congregated at the edge of Kenwood’s Wood Pond, within South W
ood. As well as Dennett’s party, they had quite the audience. Especially since word had spread of Dennett’s choice of weapon—rapier. Most found his selection dishonorable. Dennett had very few friends in attendance.
Christian removed his coat and waistcoat and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He swung his arm in an arc, rotating his shoulder in wide sweeps. Thankfully it was more mobile than it had been in a long while. However, in order to win, he’d have to finish Dennett off quickly. His shoulder would tire sooner than Dennett’s.
Although he’d not had much practice with the rapier, the war had seen to it that he’d used a sword. The feel of steel in his hand once more was comfortable, like a friend he’d not seen in a long time. He practiced with a few thrusts and parries.
Soon the call came for the two men to take their places. Christian shook hands with Hadley and Arend, closed his eyes and prayed for victory, and tried to put all thoughts of Serena from his mind. Totally focused, he turned and walked to face the man who had the one thing he wanted more than life itself. Serena.
He would not fail her.
“Ready to die, Markham?” Although Dennett’s words were spoken confidently, there was a line of sweat beading his upper lip and forehead.
Christian performed a mocking bow. “Only one of us will be dying today, and it won’t be me.”
“Pretty confident for a man who up until a few days ago had limited use of his arm.” He barked a harsh laugh. “I knew you’d be stupid enough to issue a challenge, and you fell into my trap.” He took his stance, whispering so that only Christian could hear, “How long do you think Serena will survive once you’re dead? So easy to lose someone at sea, but we’ll have a chance to reacquaint ourselves before she is washed overboard.”
Christian flexed his blade. “You really are a bastard, Dennett. I hope once I’ve skewered you, you die a slow, agonizing death.”
A Kiss of Lies Page 26
