The Cloud Corporation

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The Cloud Corporation Page 1

by Timothy Donnelly




  TIMOTHY DONNELLY

  The Cloud Corporation

  PICADOR

  FOR LYNN MELNICK

  Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments

  Will hum about mine ears; and sometime voices,

  That if I then had wak’d after long sleep,

  Will make me sleep again, and then in dreaming,

  The clouds methought would open, and show riches

  Ready to drop upon me, that when I wak’d,

  I cried to dream again.

  CONTENTS

  1

  The New Intelligence

  The Malady That Took the Place of Thinking

  To His Debt

  The New Hymns

  Between the Rivers

  Clair de Lune

  Partial Inventory of Airborne Debris

  Fun for the Shut-in

  Chivas Regal

  His Excuse

  Fantasies of Management

  The Cloud Corporation

  2

  The Night Ship

  Chapter for Being Transformed into a Sparrow

  To His Own Device

  Chapter for Breathing Air Among the Waters

  The Last Dream of Light Released from Seaports

  Bled

  Dispatch from Behind the Mountain

  No Diary

  Epitaph by His Own Hand

  Poem Beginning with a Sentence from The Monk

  His Agenda

  The Rumored Existence of Other People

  3

  No Mission Statement, No Strategic Plan

  The New Histrionicism

  Montezuma to His Magicians

  Dream of Arabian Hillbillies

  Chapter for Being Transformed into a Lotus

  Antepenultimate Conflict with Self

  His Apologia

  To His Detriment

  Chapter for Kindling a Torch

  Explanation of an Oriole

  Bulletin from Under the Bed

  Dream of a Poetry of Defense

  4

  Through the Wilderness of His Forehead

  Globus Hystericus

  The Last Vibrations

  Chapter for Removing Foolish Speech from the Mouth

  His Theogony

  Tiberius at the Villa Jovis

  Advice to Baboons of the New Kingdom

  Dream of the Overlook

  Team of Fake Deities Arranged on an Orange Plate

  Chapter for a Headrest

  In His Tree

  Chapter for Not Dying Again

  His Future as Attila the Hun

  1

  THE NEW INTELLIGENCE

  After knowledge extinguished the last of the beautiful

  fires our worship had failed to prolong, we walked

  back home through pedestrian daylight, to a residence

  humbler than the one left behind. A door without mystery,

  a room without theme. For the hour that we spend

  complacent at the window overlooking the garden,

  we observe an arrangement in rust and gray-green,

  a vagueness at the center whose slow, persistent

  movements some sentence might explain if we had time

  or strength for sentences. To admit that what falls

  falls solitarily, lost in the permanent dusk of the particular.

  That the mind that fear and disenchantment fatten

  comes to boss the world around it, morbid as the damp-

  fingered guest who rearranges the cheeses the minute the host

  turns to fix her a cocktail. A disease of the will, the way

  false birch branches arch and interlace from which

  hands dangle last leaf-parchments and a very large array

  of primitive bird-shapes. Their pasted feathers shake

  in the aftermath of the nothing we will ever be content

  to leave the way we found it. I love that about you.

  I love that when I call you on the long drab days practicality

  keeps one of us away from the other that I am calling

  a person so beautiful to me that she has seen my awkwardness

  on the actual sidewalk but she still answers anyway.

  I say that when I fell you fell beside me and the concrete

  refused to apologize. That a sparrow sat for a spell

  on the windowsill today to communicate the new intelligence.

  That the goal of objectivity depends upon one’s faith

  in the accuracy of one’s perceptions, which is to say

  a confidence in the purity of the perceiving instrument.

  I won’t be dying after all, not now, but will go on living dizzily

  hereafter in reality, half-deaf to reality, in the room

  perfumed by the fire that our inextinguishable will begins.

  THE MALADY THAT TOOK THE PLACE OF THINKING

  When I close my eyes its voice insists we’re close

  to solving once and for all and with panache

  those mysteries to which we’ve been applying

  ourselves so much these days, almost to the exclusion

  of all that I had taken to be the case, factwise.

  There had seemed to be only one world to adhere to

  but now I can see how there really isn’t any, just roads

  with signs directing further, towards and away

  from the same humiliating noplace you already are.

  These mysteries will be solved not one at a time

  but in a slow, general unfolding along the lines

  of the magnolia, and trying to rush one solution by prying it

  open will compromise not only this solution but many

  if not all the others. I’m not that person anymore

  with his hands immediately all over the magnolia.

  I’m not that other one either, stomping off sorry

  he doesn’t understand. If it looks like I’m thinking, I’m not,

  I’m waiting, and I can wait forever to find out why.

  If it looked like I was sorry to look at that photograph

  of women and children shot down by an American

  battalion on a bright clear day in March, look again:

  with no world to adhere to, there can be no photograph,

  no women, no children, and certainly no battalion

  shooting when there was nothing there to begin with.

  TO HIS DEBT

  Where would I be without you, massive shadow

  dressed in numbers, when without you there

  behind me, I wouldn’t be myself. What wealth

  could ever offer loyalty like yours, my measurement,

  my history, my backdrop against which every

  coffee and kerplunk, when all the giddy whoring

  around abroad and after the more money money

  wants is among the first things you prevent.

  My phantom, my crevasse—my emphatically

  unfunny hippopotamus, you take my last red cent

  and drag it down into the muck of you, my

  sassafras, my Timbuktu, you who put the kibosh

  on fine dining and home theater, dentistry and work

  my head into a lather, throw my ever-beaten

  back against a mattress of intractable topography

  and chew. Make death with me: my sugar

  boat set loose on caustic indigo, my circumstance

  dissolving, even then—how could solvency

  hope to come between us, when even when I dream

  I awaken in an unmarked pocket of the earth

  without you there—there you are, supernaturally

  redoubling over my shoulder like the living

  wage I
never make, but whose image I will always

  cling to in the negative, hanged up by the feet

  among the mineral about me famished like a bat

  whose custom it is to make much of my neck.

  THE NEW HYMNS

  They all begin by commanding you to praise

  things like sea-thistle, pinecones, a crate of tangerines

  stacked into a ziggurat like one you envision

  ticking under overgrowth, ancient and counting

  down deep in the tropics until at last a certain

  heavenly alignment triggers doomsday, what then?

  To think nothing might feel good for a time, the way

  walking can, just moving around, turning

  right whenever you happen to, heading along

  toward nowhere in particular, getting there almost

  without really trying or memory of where

  you started out from, much less how you’ll ever get back.

  I don’t want to have to. I don’t want to have to

  locate divinity in a loaf of bread, in a sparkler,

  or in the rainlike sound the wind makes through

  mulberry trees, not tonight. Listen to them carry on

  about gentleness when it’s inconceivable

  that any kind or amount of it will ever be able to

  balance the scales. I have been held down

  by the throat and terrified, numb enough to know.

  The temperature at which no bird can thrive—

  a lifelong feeling that I feel now, remembering

  down the highway half-hypnotized in the

  backseat feeling what I feel now, and moderate

  happiness has nothing to do with it: I want to press

  my face against the cold black window until

  there is a deity whose only purpose is to stop this.

  BETWEEN THE RIVERS

  Maybe there’s a stage in wakefulness like standing up

  on a rooftop I’ve never quite been able to figure out

  how to get to, and it’s from this stage that everyone

  keeps shouting at me saying look how beautiful the day

  turned out after all, how in the distance the enemy

  battalions are surrendering, and not a cloud in the sky—

  what was I so worked up about? The villagers below

  raise cattle, sheep, and goats; grow barley, wheat, flax,

  and produce distinctive pottery. Pistachio nuts thrive

  in the irrigated gardens of our city, as do pomegranates

  naturally rich in antioxidants, which protect the body

  from free radicals’ interference with normal cell function.

  Observation confirms that our chief building material

  is mud brick left to bake in the sun, and with reason:

  both mud and sun prove plentiful year-round, and the bricks

  excel at keeping out the heat. A large harvest of reeds

  drawn from one river to roof our houses also provides

  long-lasting baskets, cradles, musical pipes, and the wedge-

  shaped stylus with which we write on soft clay tablets.

  The clay is taken from the other river. Writing comes from

  our accountants. Hunting for food continues in the wetlands,

  the forests, and the mountains, but in the walled cities

  on the plains, it has become something more of a ritual

  display of bravery, affluence, and the favor of the gods

  who are the subjects of the greater part of all our artwork

  along with warfare, mythic beasts, rulers, and palace life.

  And yet here we find a fragment of glazed earthenware

  depicting a simple mountain goat, and here a young archer

  wears a headband, a richly decorated tunic, and fine sandals.

  Such archers are known for shooting arrows backwards

  and with great accuracy from the saddle, even at a gallop.

  That figure of a winged bull with human face was given

  a fifth leg to provide the creature with a sense of motion.

  Our massive step pyramids—representative of mountains—

  can be seen from a great distance across the flat landscape.

  At the top of each pyramid rests a temple glazed in indigo

  where the gods are known to dwell. Here is the river from which

  we crawl, there the next into which we one day dissolve.

  Music marks state occasions and serves to glorify the gods,

  but the villagers enjoy non-ceremonial strains of it as well.

  No one can be sure what sounds our instruments produce,

  but we have theories about scales and tuning, astronomy,

  mathematics, geography, which gems to wear to ward off

  sickness and which to protect against thunderbolts and spirits.

  When you see the king depicted balancing a basket of clay

  effortlessly atop his tranquil head, this means it was he

  who built our city’s walls and many sparkling temples.

  We have come into contact with other peoples through trade

  and migration, but mostly warfare. If we are remembered

  as cruel, ruthless warriors, were we not also scholars, restless

  artists and lovers of art, obedient citizens, builders of cities

  unmatched in magnificence, pious worshipers of the gods?

  To the left and right of the city gate, a beneficent winged genie

  holds a large pinecone used to sprinkle a blessing of water

  on the heads of those who enter our city. Is it not reasonable

  to suppose the same blessing is bestowed on those who leave?

  CLAIR DE LUNE

  We revolt ourselves; we disgust and annoy us.

  The way we look at us lately chills us to the core.

  We become like those who seek to destroy us.

  We push ourselves into small tasks that employ us

  unrewardingly on purpose. We tire, we bore.

  We revolt ourselves; we disgust and annoy us.

  We rent ourselves to what force will enjoy us

  into oblivion: wind, drink, sleep. We pimp, we whore.

  We become like those who seek to destroy us.

  We cat-and-mouse, roughhouse, inflatable-toy us

  in our heads’ red maze, in its den, on its shore.

  We revolt ourselves; we disgust and annoy us.

  We take offense at our being; we plot, we deploy us

  against us and flummox; we wallow, we war.

  We become like those who seek to destroy us.

  If in triumph, our defeat; in torture, our joy is.

  Some confusion so deep I can’t fathom anymore.

  We appall ourselves; we disgust and annoy us

  into those we become we who seek to destroy us.

  PARTIAL INVENTORY OF AIRBORNE DEBRIS

  Small wonder I recoil

  even from my own

  worn image looking back

  where I always find it

  looking like it’s trying

  to warn me something

  unspeakable is coming:

  Item. I stand before me

  in a haze where people

  can be made to want to

  make people stand

  precariously on boxes,

  arms wide open, strange

  hoods pulled down

  over human faces, little live

  wires hooked to various

  parts of the bodies

  ridden on like donkeys,

  smeared in feces, stacked

  one on top the other

  for a photo to prolong

  the swell an accomplishment

  like that engenders.

  Item. What kept us from

  discovering our selves’

  worst wasn’t the lack

  of evidence so much as

  a failure of delivery, a kink
r />   overcome through

  the push in technology

  we’ve all had a hand in

  one way or the other.

  Item. Looks like anyone

  can be led as soon astray

  as to slaughter, disappearing

  down the long ill-lit

  institutional corridor

  misadventure unfolds

  one synapse at a time—

  and to presume immunity

  may be a symptom.

  Item. In time I begin to

  lose sensation, thoughts,

  I’m not complaining,

  dropped a sedative in

  tapwater and watched

  its demonstration on

  what we have in common

  with a sunset, gradual

  change and all the rest,

  difficult to paraphrase

  to be honest but I’m not

  complaining, it’s like being

  detained indefinitely

  but with three meals a day

  on a tropical island!

  Item. Looks like what’s

  done in my defense, or in

  its name, or in my

  interest or in the image

  of the same, no matter how

  distorted, fattened up

  for laughs or plain dead-on,

  connects to me by virtue

  of an invisible filament

  over which I can claim

  no know-how, no management,

  no muscle to speak of

  (anatomical or spiritual),

  what can I do, I can feel it

  tugging again, what have I

  done: rotisserie chicken,

  homestyle gravy, mac

  and cheese, a hot biscuit,

  sweet potato casserole—

  admit it, I’m on the fat side.

  Item. As when a putz

  collapses to the dance hall’s

  floor and the pianist stops

  his performing mid-

  waltz, always an angel

  in a large brown gown

  bends over the slowly

  reviving body and says

  Don’t stop Paul we need you

  now more than ever,

  whereupon Paul, without

  much thought, without

  the burden of thinking,

  sits back down, picks up

  where he left off and plays.

  Item. Or say a dream wolf

  found my room by scent,

  entered it, climbed upon

 

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