“I want you inside me,” I whimper, biting my lip. My hips are churning into his fingers restlessly and I know I’m close. I also know he isn’t going to stop until I come.
“You want me to fuck you?” he rasps, while I come apart beneath him.
“Yes. Fuck me.” In my heated passion, my hands move to my breasts, fondling them in desperation, and a grin radiating from a nurtured ego begins to spread across his face. When he inserts his second finger, coaxing the warm walls within me to goad me into orgasm, my muscles spasm, preparing for his devastating pleasure. He covers my mouth to drown out the moans but his fingers never falter, building the gripping sensation to peak. My climax is all-consuming, breaching every single defense I possess as the wave of pleasure pulses through my boneless limbs. With hoarse cries, I release into his palm as I convulse, clutching fistfuls of his stiff shirt.
Barely conscious, my eyelids flicker open when his hand frees my mouth and he mounts me, laying his towering form parallel to mine. Within a few completely blissful seconds, he’s pushing himself inside me.
He groans, dropping his head in pleasure as my climax drags on in drugging waves, the walls of my vortex clenching around him. I rest my hand on his cheek, dazed, and he tilts his head into my palm, kissing it sweetly.
He grips my thigh, raising it up for his cock to gain better access.
“You have no idea how sexy you look right now,” he gasps, punishing me with his thrusts. I could say the same for him. His shirt is open halfway and his hair is falling over his face, shading his gorgeous eyes from view. Just when I believe he couldn’t get any hotter, he bites his lip. Taking his face in between my hands, I pull his head down to mine and lock my lips with his.
Love me, Benjamin. Love me.
We’re both a sweaty mess and frankly, I don’t even want to know how far my makeup is down my face, but the feel of him inside me is enough to forget about it.
“You know we can’t be friends.” He places his hand, caressing the sensitive nub, quickening my ascent to euphoria. “You know it, don’t you?”
“Ben…” I whisper, suddenly overcome. I shouldn’t be doing this. No matter what happens next, it won’t be good.
“Tell me, Darcy.” His hand stops moving, so do his thrusts.
“I know it,” I whisper reluctantly. Why is he bringing this up now?
“I want you, Darcy. I can make you feel things you couldn’t even imagine you’d feel.” He moves his hand again, first slowly, then gradually circling at a faster pace. I tense again, but this time it’s not from shock.
“You can’t give me what I want.” As each second passes, I want to stop just as much as I need him to continue.
“But I can. Am I making you happy right now? Do you like my hands pleasuring you?”
“You know I do.” I shiver as his tongue travels down my neck. He sucks and nibbles on the skin above my collarbone and I bite down on my lip to conceal my moan.
“Then why would you want to stop this from happening?”
I’m feeling the best pleasure of my life physically, but my body is at war with my emotions. I’m distraught, happy, angry all at once.
As my second climax takes over my body, my heart aches in pain. I’m clutching onto him for dear life, tears streaming down my cheeks onto the floor as he lets go with a large exhale, but deep down I know I could never hold him to me the way I want to.
He drops his head onto the crook of my neck and we lie breathing in unison, both of us deep in thought. I’d seriously give anything to know what’s going through his mind. I let go of him and raise my hands to my cheeks, wiping away tears.
He raises his head, his gaze filled with regret. “I wish I could be what you want, Darcy,” he proclaims almost inaudibly, laying his head back onto my chest. The vehicle vibrates beneath us.
I run my fingers through his hair and nod to myself. “Yeah, me too.”
***
I step out of the sleek black vehicle, my appearance repaired as best as I could in the short rest of the ride back.
“Just a moment, Dimitri,” Benjamin says, adjusting the waistband of his pants.
“Sir.”
While I wait by the steps of my building, Benjamin shuts the door to the limo, looking cool, calm, and collected. Other than his tousled hair and missing tie, you’d never be able to tell what went down in that back seat.
I sit down on the steps, pat the spot next to me, and he sits.
“Quite a night,” I offer first, knowing we can’t sit here all night without speaking.
He smirks. “Yes, you certainly know how to liven up an event.”
He focuses on his hands for a moment while I stare at the building across the street. There are new flowers on Mrs. Delany’s steps.
“So, should we not see each other anymore?” he asks, squinting in what looks like disdain.
“That’s probably best,” I reply reluctantly.
A winded exhale leaves his lips. “Christ, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have initiated that in the car.”
“It was just as much my fault as yours.” I get to my feet. “And I did kiss you first.”
He looks up at me, smiling just barely. “Yes, you did.”
My nerves are shot, making it difficult to feel much. Everyone reaches a limit.
“I really don’t want to say goodbye so I’ll just say I’ll see you later.” My throat constricts laboriously and I climb the first step.
“I’ll see you later,” he responds mildly, and I shut my eyes. This hurts.
“Wait, Darcy.”
I turn, my brows high with hope.
“May I kiss you before you go?”
Oh.
I know immediately I’ll never forget what he looks like in this exact moment. The way his hands are dangling limply at his sides, his lips formed into a frown. His thick mane of luscious hair framing a flawless face, which holds an expression that makes me believe he’s both happy and upset that I’m inching toward him, scaling down the steps with caution. He stops on the same step as me and stares down into my eyes, his six-foot-four frame towering over me. I wrap my arms around his waist, lean my head onto his chest, and embrace him tightly. He surrounds my shoulders with his strong limbs and his lips are against my hair.
I can’t force him to feel anything for me. I can’t force him to say something he doesn’t believe in. He’d only resent me if I tried. He has to want it.
A group of people walk by us, laughing, and it makes me wonder how long we’ve been standing like this. I tilt my head up, waiting with trepidation for his farewell. His lips graze mine and I dig my hands into his tuxedo jacket and tug him closer to me.
The emotion, the passion, is there as it always is and I mold to him.
“I love you,” I whisper in between his kisses, unable to keep it in anymore, and he stiffens. He is the first to pull back, taking my hands off his jacket. He stares down at me, conveying an emotion with his eyes that I can’t even begin to describe.
I want to tell him I can’t help saying it, that it’s all I’ve wanted to say since I first stepped into his office. That I want to say it to him for the rest of my life. He makes his way to the car, his back completely rigid.
I watch agonizingly as he settles in his seat after closing the door. I circle my arms around my body, tears blinding the view as the limo drives away.
***
Kevin sits up from his spot on my bed, his eyes wide like an owl’s when I step into the apartment.
“Darcy, what happened?”
“I’m not seeing him again.” I feel sick.
“Oh shit, baby.” He opens his arms and I immediately walk into his hard body, embracing him tightly. Any comfort will do at the moment. “Tell me all about it.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Days go by after that painful night.
Before I know it, it’s been months.
I barely notice Labor Day pass. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Poof. They’re gone in a blur.
&nb
sp; Sitting on a bench at my former job, I gaze off into my empty glass on the counter, mindlessly twirling another vodka soda in my hands. The bar is quiet now; it’s past midnight. There is only one couple in the corner, obviously on a first date. I envy them. They look happy and young. They have everything ahead of them.
The possibilities…
“We’re going out tomorrow night,” a distant voice from the other side of the bar says, and I roll my eyes.
“Kevin, I really can’t.”
He has his hands on his hips, and I know I should be fearing him right now. He means business. “No, no, no. I’m not putting up with this shit anymore! It’s been nearly four months and all you do is sulk!”
“No, I don’t!” I protest, although I know he’s probably right. “I’m just tired all the time, Kev. I want to sleep.”
“Bullshit. I’m staging an intervention.” He plops down on the adjacent bar stool with a thump. “You’re seriously too kickass to sulk over a man this long. I understand you loved him and things ended badly, but tomorrow, I’m taking you to a club.”
My eyes expand in horror. “No! No way!”
“Yes way, and you’re lucky I’m doing this for you! It’s against my religion to go to any club that isn’t filled with half-naked gay men everywhere. So be freaking happy!”
“Gee, thanks,” I mutter, glaring at him.
He laughs and continues cleaning the glasses. “You’ll love me tomorrow. Just wait, baby.”
***
Kevin is pounding relentlessly on my door. “You better be ready or I swear I’ll—”
I yank open the door wearing a dress, the first I’ve worn in months. Kevin obviously approves because he jumps up and down excitedly.
“Holy fuck, now that’s an outfit!” He whistles, spinning me.
Despite my reluctance to go out, a large smile grows on my face. That’s the good thing about Kev. He can make even the saddest person smile.
“You look great too.”
He checks himself out in my mirror and regards himself appreciatively. “I know, right? I just got the shirt today.” It’s blue and long-sleeved due to the chilly winter weather. The jacket over it is black and probably costs thousands of dollars. Kevin likes the good things in life. With his good looks and sweet skill of tongue, he can gather the tips to afford such a lifestyle.
“Let’s go!” He claps his hands together.
I take one last look at myself in the mirror and sigh. The dress is short and black, but altogether pretty conservative compared to what I used to wear at the bar. I barely wore any makeup today, not wanting to have it dripping down my face, but red lipstick was a must.
Kevin snatches my hand after I put on a coat and gasps. “You finally did your nails! I’m so proud.”
I glare at him, retracting my red-polished nails.
“You love me.” He grins and opens my front door.
I try to prepare myself for what’s about to be my night.
***
“Taxi!” Kevin shouts, stepping to the edge of the curb with his hand up. I gawk when a yellow cab drives up and parks in front of us.
How does he do that?
“Why do they always stop for you?” I ask, climbing into the car behind him.
“Who? Taxis?” He taps the driver’s shoulder. “Dawn. It’s a club.”
“Sure thing.” The man starts the meter and puts the car into drive. Here we go. No escaping.
“It’s a confidence thing, babe. If you have confidence, they’ll notice you,” Kevin says in a ridiculously cheerful voice, projecting an unhealthy amount of ebullience. “Don’t worry, Darcy. You’ll be oozing confidence by the time we leave this club, I promise you.”
“Club Dawn? What kind of name is that?”
“An awesome one, you old grump.” He laughs. “And it’s open till dawn.”
I cross my legs. “Ah, I see.”
“Now…I don’t know if you want the bad news now or later,” Kevin nudges, taking my hand. I know already it has something to do with Benjamin. This trek to a sanctuary of booze and rumbling bass lines now makes sense. “I don’t want to ruin your night, but I don’t want you going home sad either.”
“Just tell me now.” No point in putting off the inevitable blow I know I will feel.
“You sure?” I nod hesitantly and he takes a piece of paper out of his pocket. I take the paper and unfold it carefully as if it were carrying the most sacred information in the world.
“He’s seeing someone.”
My heart stops beat by beat as my eyes scan over the short paragraph on a page from a magazine:
“The bachelor of the decade seems to have been snatched up! Sorry, ladies! Multibillionaire and ladies’ man Benjamin Scott, known for parading through supermodels, appears to have been seeing someone closely for the past month. A source tells us they are hot and heavy and he couldn’t be more head over heels for her. We can already hear the hearts breaking all over the world.”
Yes, I hear them too. One heart in particular.
“I’m sorry, baby,” Kevin apologizes, laying a gentle hand on my thigh.
The picture above the paragraph is of Benjamin. I can tell it’s recent because his hair is longer. He looks stunning as usual, even caught off guard. He looks like he’s leaving a club or something. He’s sporting a black leather jacket and blue jeans, looking very much like the dark and mysterious guy he is.
“Darcy.” Kevin squeezes my leg.
I force my eyes from the picture and look up at him. “It’s fine. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later.”
Seeing someone? He doesn’t date! Who the hell is she?
“We’re going to find you a perfect fling tonight so you can forget all about him.”
“No,” I whisper, handing him back the paper. I don’t even want it in my sight anymore.
My throat is constricting violently. I know that if I let out another sound, I’ll weep. Fortunately, Kevin stays quiet the rest of the ride there.
***
“Tequila! Lemon!” I holler above the noise to the bartender. He eyes me suspiciously, clearly contemplating whether or not I have a serious drinking problem.
This is my third shot tonight, no, fourth. Wait, fifth! Shit.
“Damn girl, you better slow down. I don’t wanna have to carry you out of here.” Kevin grins, downing the rest of his first rum and coke.
I raise my shot glass to him in a toast. “To you! This was the best fucking idea ever.” I giggle then take the drink quickly, grimacing at the disgusting burn cascading down my throat. It may be revolting, but it’s making me feel pretty fantastic. “You know, there’s a guy that’s been checking you out for hours over there.” I point stupidly for a moment before I force my hand down.
“Yes, I know.”
“So why are you still over here?” I scoff, flailing my arms.
“Because you’re drunk.”
“I am not. I am completely coherent. I got through that entire word so I must be.”
“I’m here with you, babe. I’m not hunting today.” He puts his arm around my shoulders, kissing my forehead.
“That could be your soul mate!” I argue. “Go! I’ll be fine. I’m gonna dance.”
“Dance? You?”
“Yep.”
He looks over at the buff blond guy in the corner then back at me. “Don’t leave without telling me though, okay? Because I know you will.” He narrows his eyes playfully and I raise my arms in surrender.
“I promise.”
He presses his lips to my forehead and strides confidently to the now-beaming man in the corner.
If only I had that confidence…
I lay three bucks on the bar and look up at the bartender. “Water, please.”
He finally smiles, obviously pleased to see even a hint of shame taking hold of my instincts, and hands me a cold one from the fridge below him. I find a spare seat in a corner and sip it slowly, feeling the pulsing in my skull reducing minute b
y minute.
“Can I hide out here with you?”
I whirl to my left, noticing a tall man next to me. He’s wearing a complete suit. A tan suit…to the club. I gesture nonchalantly to the seat and go back to sipping my water.
“Thanks.” He sits down. “And your name is?” he says after a minute.
“Uh, Darcy. Yours?”
He studies me closely, his features kind. “Luke Hemingway.”
He reaches his hand out courteously and I take it, returning the shake with a firm tug. “Nice to meet you, Luke.”
“Having fun?”
“I was. Now I’m just waiting for the room to stop spinning.”
Why are you saying these things? He could be a rapist.
“I noticed. Tequila will do that to you.” He sips his beer, gazing at the people around us.
“How do you know it was tequila?”
“I saw you.” He chuckles.
I turn away. Maybe he is a rapist…“Why are you hiding out?”
“I’m with my friends.” He points to a large group of guys, all accompanied by a dance partner clearly asking for it.
“You don’t have someone to dance with?” I ask, sipping my water slowly. I’m too drunk to be thinking this much.
“I did. My ex. She’s right there.” He points to a blonde that’s grinding pretty fiercely against one of the other suits in the group.
“Ex?”
“Yep.”
“When did you break up?”
“Tonight.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He smiles, shaking his head. “I knew it would end that way. She doesn’t date. I was an exception. Whatever. It worked for a while.”
His situation strikes a chord of familiarity within me, making me less immune to his advances. “What are you still doing here? I would have left long ago by now.”
“I was, but I saw you here.” He shrugs. “And despite your apparent intoxication at the moment, you looked beautiful and interesting. I’d been staring at you since I got here. I figured why not?”
Consumed By You (The Consumed Series Book 1) Page 17
