“Go today,” she said.
“What?” I asked.
“Just go,” she said sternly.
“Nope,” I said, before turning to walk away.
She grabbed my arm and gave it a pretty good tug to stop me.
“He won't be there,” she said.
“You're sure about that?” I asked.
“Yes,” she answered. “Go.”
“Fine,” I snapped. “Come on kids.”
Jenny and Jeff followed me up the stairs and down the hall to their room. It took much longer than it usually did for Sammie, but they were finally dressed. I took a quick shower, which I definitely needed, and threw on sweats and a t-shirt. I pulled my hair up on top of my head and headed down the stairs without putting any makeup on or even looking in the mirror. I leaned down to unbuckle Jake from the swing, when James walked up next to me.
“Stop,” he snapped.
“What?” I asked, as I turned to look up at him.
“He's staying with me,” he said.
“Not happening,” I said, as I continued.
“Cassie,” he growled out, as he grabbed my arm and I pulled back fast from his grip. “He is staying with me. Take the other two and have fun with them. James is staying with me too. She didn't mean it the way you took it last night. We love all of you and want you here. It's just too much for her.”
“Then hire her some help,” I said.
“She won't let me,” he said. “As soon as Lance and Lauren are moved in, I'm going to be home more, a lot more. Please let him stay with me.”
“Fine,” I said, as I turned toward Sammie. “Let's get going. I'll meet you there.”
“We can drive over together,” she said.
“No,” I said. “I'll drive the three of us.”
“Cassie,” she said, with a bummed look on her face.
“It's okay,” I said. “I get it.”
I took the kids out and got them situated in the Escalade.
“We'll meet you there,” I said, before getting in and backing down the driveway.
I did get it. I wasn't just saying that. She'd hurt my feelings the night before, but she was right. I'd known that already after being at Parker's that night. My kids needed to come first. I'd been trying to make them first, she just didn't know that. I hadn't told her, and that was my own fault.
The kids hurried as fast as they could into the place. By the time I walked through the door, they already had a ball and two mitts. I stood watching them throw the ball back and forth. They were actually getting better, and it made me so proud. If Jeff knew our little girl was playing baseball, he'd have a fit. I would have felt the same just two months before, but I didn't think that way anymore. It didn't matter what my kids did. I just wanted them to be happy. If she grew up loving the game as much as her aunt, I would totally support her.
Sammie opened the door, and Jillian and Jackson ran by squealing and laughing. I watched as they grabbed mitts of their own and started playing. When I looked back toward Sammie, she had two big mitts and a ball. She handed one of the mitts to me.
“I love you, Cassie,” she said. “I hope you know that.”
“I do,” I said, as I took the mitt and put it on my hand. “I love you too.”
She put the ball in my mitt and turned to walk the other way. Once she turned back to me, she held her mitt up and smiled.
We threw the ball back and forth, and I couldn't help the pride that filled me. I really had gotten better. Each time I threw the ball her way, she didn't have to chase it. I wasn't perfect. She did have to stretch her arms a bit, but it was a huge improvement from when I'd walked in the door that first time.
Sammie threw me the ball, and I jumped to get it. Then I heard his voice, and the ball dropped from my hand.
“Not bad for a girl.”
Without a word, I bent down, picked the ball back up, quickly turned, and threw the ball as hard as I could, right at him. His gloved hand moved fast to catch it, but it still felt good.
“Cassie,” Sammie snapped. “What if he hadn't had a mitt on?”
“Guess he would have figured it out,” I said with a shrug, as I stared right into his eyes. “He is a huge player, right?”
I turned away from him and walked right to my kids, but I could hear Sammie talking from behind me.
“I'm sorry, Parker,” she said. “She's pissed at me.”
I could hear the two of them talking behind me, but I couldn't make out everything they were saying. She'd asked him something about being traded. He didn't come out and say that he didn't want to leave, but I could hear so much sadness in his tone. Just hearing it tore at my heart, and I started feeling bad for him. That was not happening. There was no reason for it. I walked away from the kids and headed toward the bathroom. I needed a minute away from everyone to clear my head.
I took a few deep breaths while looking in the bathroom mirror and gave myself a little talk about how I needed to get my life in order. He was not part of that order. I closed my eyes and took one last deep breath, as I turned the knob, opened the door, and took a step forward. I let out a loud umph sound and my eyes shot open the moment I crashed into something hard. My hands went up, and I reached out to grab hold and steady myself, but I didn't get the chance. Two big hands grabbed my arms and pushed me back into the bathroom. Before I knew it, his giant body was in there with me, the door had been closed, and I'd heard the lock click into place.
“Get out of my way, you big lug,” I snapped out.
“No,” he snapped back. “What was that out there? Were you trying to hurt me on purpose?”
“You weren't supposed to be here,” I growled out. “I'm going to kick Lauren's ass when I see her.”
“What the fuck happened?” he growled right back.
“Move,” I yelled out.
“Cassie,” he snapped so loud, I stopped frozen in place. “Talk to me. You were fine one second, and the next second you'd completely changed.”
“That's exactly it,” I said in a whisper.
“What?” he asked, confusion filling his tone.
“Everything changed,” I said, as I looked down at my fingers that were nervously moving between each other.
“What changed?” he asked. “I don't understand. I didn't do anything. You need to finish those papers. They're really important. If you don't.”
“I already did,” I said harshly, cutting off his words. “Thanks for the link.”
“You mailed them?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“Certified?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said again, the word filled with frustration. “Now get out of my way.”
“No,” he said, as if putting his foot down.
“What do you mean no?” I asked.
“Not happening, princess,” he said. “I'm waiting for you to explain yourself. I have all day.”
“You sure you don't have some important meeting to be at?” I asked sarcastically.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked.
I couldn't take his innocent act. He was driving me crazy, and I was done.
“A Pirate,” I snapped out. “You're a fucking Pirate, Parker.”
“Yeah,” he said. “So.”
“Ugh,” I barked out. “What was that shit with the jersey? Was that fun for you? You let me go on, looking like a fucking idiot.”
“What?” he asked, trying to look innocent about the whole thing.
“You let me stand there and give you shit, and you said nothing,” I said roughly.
“Like you didn't know,” he snapped back. “Stop trying to act so fucking innocent, Cassie.”
“Not until I saw your face on the news, I didn't,” I said. “I felt so stupid.”
He stood there looking at me as if he didn't know what to say next.
“What was I, just another conquest to you?” I hissed, my words filled with disgust. “It all makes sense, all your cocky comments about how grea
t you are and all that Pirate shit spread out around your place.”
A look crossed his face, but it happened so fast that I couldn't catch exactly what it was. Then his jaw tightened and his eyes darkened.
“Doesn't that excite you?” he asked.
“What?” I asked. “No, why would it?”
“Isn't that what you're into, men with money?” he asked.
“Not anymore, and definitely not if he's a baseball player,” I snapped out, feeling like he'd punched me right in the stomach.
I stood there staring eye to eye with him.
“You know what,” I said before yelling. “Fuck you!”
“No, Fuck you!” he yelled back, as he lifted his hand, and I flinched just before it landed in his hair.
His eyes narrowed, and I moved quickly to step around him.
“Move,” I said roughly.
“Cassie,” he said, all the anger gone from his voice.
“Please, Parker,” I said, barely holding on to my emotions.
“What the fuck was that?” he asked. “Why did you just flinch? That's the second time.”
I could feel my body beginning to shake, as I did everything I could to hold back the tears that were fighting to get to the surface.
“I need you to move. I have to get out of here. I need air,” I said, giving him a pleading look. “Please.”
“We're not done with this conversation,” he said, as he stepped aside.
“We are,” I said, as I opened the door and took off for the back door of the building.
I got out the door, and as soon as the air hit me, I turned, my back hit the wall, I slid down it, my face fell into my hands, and I let go, crying the hardest I'd cried yet. I cried because of what Jeff was doing, because of what I was doing to James and Sammie, because of what I was keeping from my grandma and parents, but most of all, because of Parker. He saw me just like they did, all of them.
Chapter 14
Cassie
I had the kids in their own beds for the night and had just crawled into my own when I heard my phone buzz. Something in me knew it was him. When I'd finally found my way back inside earlier that day, he'd already left. Sammie noticed the puffiness in my eyes and the stains, from my tears, on my cheeks, but she didn't ask questions, and I was so glad. I'd been crying so much since I'd gotten to her house, so she probably just added it to me being emotional over Jeff. That was fine by me. There was no way I wanted to add another thing to her list of reasons to judge me.
I tried not to look at my phone, but I couldn't help it. I had to know what it said. He'd seen me flinch, and he'd called me out on it. That wasn't good. What was I supposed to say? He needed to drop it, and I'd do whatever it took to get him to do just that. Everyone already had their thoughts about me. I didn't need them thinking I'd been getting beat by the asshole too. It wasn't like that, but they'd come to their own conclusions anyway.
“I'll just read it,” I said to myself.
Wannabe: Did you really not know?
That was his message. Really? Not I'm sorry. Not what the fuck? Did you really not know? What did it matter to him? Why did he care? Then it hit me like something running into me at full speed. I'd liked him, and I hadn't known. I'd liked him for him. Not what he had or could give me, but for him. He was so damn cocky. There was always something sarcastic coming out of his mouth, but he didn't take my shit. Instead, he gave it right back, and I liked him. I'd never spoken to anyone the way I did Parker, but I couldn't help it, something about him brought it out of me. I couldn't stop the words as they'd slip right off my tongue. The man was infuriating, but I liked him. To me, he was just a normal guy, and I liked him. In that moment, with everything else still weighing down on me, I was happy with myself. I wasn't the same person I'd been before. I was changing. The only problem with my whole realization was that Parker wasn't who I thought, he wasn't just a normal guy. He was a Pirate.
Me: No, I didn't.
Wannabe: I don't get it.
Was it a trap, I wondered?
Me: What don't you get?
Wannabe: What's so wrong with what I do for a living?
I didn't answer, but he didn't let it go. Of course he didn't. He probably wasn't used to not getting his way.
Wannabe: You need to explain.
Me: No, I don't.
Wannabe: I'm sorry for earlier. I know you have shit in your past too.
Me: Sure do.
Wannabe: You didn't like what I said, did you?
Seriously? Did he really think I would, I wondered?
Me: Of course I didn't.
Wannabe: I didn't like what you said either.
Me: What?
Wannabe: I didn't do a damn thing for you to think that way or say that shit to me, not one thing, but you judged me anyway. It doesn't feel good, does it?
Me: It's not the same.
Wannabe: Oh really? So it's okay for you to judge me off the behavior of other players. Do you know how many professional players there are? Do you have any idea how many of them don't behave that way? Of course you don't. That part doesn't matter, does it? Instead, you just jump to whatever conclusion you want, and that's okay with you. However, I'm not supposed to judge you by what you're brother has ever said or how you've acted in the past. If you knew anything about my past, you wouldn't be saying it's not the same.
His past, I thought. What did he mean? I was so close to asking him, but I couldn't do it. I erased the words I was typing and typed new ones.
Me: I have to think ahead, Parker. I need to get through the shit storm that's headed my way. I can't allow myself to get distracted. The thought of you being who you are is a huge distraction, one I can't deal with right now. It's not your fault. It's mine.
Wannabe: Seriously! It's not you, it's me. Come on, Cassie.
Me: I'm sorry, Parker. I really am.
My life was a mess, and he was much better off not being a part of it, especially since it sounded like he had his own shit storm to deal with. The worst part of it all was that I liked the guy, I liked him a lot.
Chapter 15
Cassie
The next two days flew by. I spent them in my room with the kids. I'd brought some toys in for them. We played with them and watched television. Jillian even came in to hang out with us a bit. We went downstairs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then we went right back up again. Beside at the table, I really didn't talk to anyone.
Lauren tried to talk to me, but I let her know I wasn't happy with her. She'd set me up. She assured me he wasn't going to be there that day, and she'd lied. She'd told his ass to be there too. When she tried to ask me why I was being so damn stubborn, I asked why she even cared. If he was such a great guy, why wasn't she with him? Not that I didn't want her with Lance, they were the perfect couple. I was just trying to prove a point.
Parker had messaged me a few times. I wanted so badly to read them, but I didn't. It took all I had to delete them without seeing what it was he had to say. I could have blocked his number, but I didn't. I guess it would have meant he'd be gone for good, and part of me liked thinking he was still there. It was wrong, but like I said, I was a mess.
James had been spending every moment at Lance and Lauren's new house. They'd wanted to be moved in by Christmas, but it wasn't happening. They still had a few more days worth of things to do.
Sammie had been running around like a chicken with her head cut off, and there was no way I was getting in her way. The woman was something else.
Christmas eve night came, and I decided to let the kids sleep in my room. I hadn't worked up the nerve to ask James for money, and he hadn't mentioned it either. I'd be asking him for more than enough before long. There was no way I was asking for present money too. The kids would be fine. I'd make it up to them somehow. They were better off where they were than where they'd need to be just so they could have presents under the tree. Seeing their little faces smiling each day was enough to tell me that I'd made the right decision
. I'd deal with what I had to so they could be happy, and they were so damn happy right where they were.
Morning came, and I heard a tiny knock on my door. Then I heard it slowly open. Jillian quietly popped her head through, and I couldn't help but laugh. She was adorable.
“Get in here,” I said.
Her eyes lit up, and she came running for my bed. She launched herself up and landed with a smack.
“It's Christmas,” she said. “Mommy said to tell you breakfast is ready.”
I looked at her happy face and couldn't help but wrap my arms around her. She was so amazing, and I'd missed out on the first years of her life. Not anymore, I thought. I'd be there anytime she needed me. I was going to be her favorite aunt. That wouldn't be an easy task to achieve either. Lauren was pretty awesome, but I was up for the challenge. I pulled her closer and began tickling her. She was laughing hysterically when the door opened even wider and Jackson walked in. He watched us with a smile on his face, and I couldn't help but laugh again.
“Come on,” I said. “The more the merrier.”
Jenny and Jeff had woken up, and within seconds, we were all laughing together.
“We better get back down there,” I said. “I wouldn't want them to have to send up a search party.”
The kids all took off ahead of me. I got the baby out of his bed and headed down the stairs, but what I saw wasn't what I expected. There were tons of gifts under the tree, and none of them had been opened. There weren't bags for luggage around the room or clothes piled on the couch. Sammie wasn't running around like crazy, trying to get everything ready for them to leave. Instead, she was in the kitchen, in her pajamas, cooking pancakes. What the heck was she doing, I wondered? They had to be in Michigan before dinner, and she was in no hurry. That wasn't like her at all. She put the last plate on the table and sat down next to James. Lauren and Lance were both dressed and ready to go. It was like they'd changed places with my brother and his wife. Maybe Sammie had packed the night before and I'd missed it, I thought. She must have done it while I was in my room with the kids.
After breakfast, Jillian went into the living room to play and asked if Jenny and Jeff could go with her. James looked over at me with concern in his eyes. It was Christmas, I thought. They were all getting ready to leave, and I knew my kids would miss them. What's the harm in playing for a bit? Could we really get in the way?
Out of My League, Part 2 Page 11
