by Nora Cobb
“And what are you wearing?” Nova asks.
“The same.” I pull off my sweats and reveal a black sports bra and matching tight short shorts, but my waistband is higher. I run my finger over my hip, feeling my ink on my hipbone. I do that before each fight for good luck, but tonight I’ll make sure it stays covered.
“Astrid,” Erin stands directly behind me, looking bored. I catch sight of Wyatt, hovering in the door, watching us intently. He’s ready to swoop in if something starts. But I’m perfectly relaxed because this area is the neutral zone.
“They want me to give a show,” she continues, “if you want to give a show, that’s up to you. But I plan to fight.”
I scoff. “I have no intention of embarrassing myself by being cute out there.”
“Neither do I,” she says before walking away.
Before we know it, the second fight has ended, and we’re given the cue to get into the ring. I watch in the shadows as Derick introduces “the lass that will outlast and turn you into a flaming mess that’s brighter than her hair.” He tries to rhyme, which earns him a spiteful glare from Erin.
“He better not embarrass me,” I mutter to Nova.
“The boy will try.”
Derick steps forward under the spotlight in his wide-leg jeans that look like a denim ballgown. “And the challenger who dominates the ring when she struts on it. The girl with the dangerous moves that make panthers flee her path.” I hop into the ring and pace toward Derick. With my shoulders raised and a hateful look on my face, I dare him to keep bullshitting. He giggles nervously. “Hey, girl, the challenger is over there…”
He giggles into his cordless white mic and hurries out of the ring to jeers and laughter. I head over to my corner and block out the crowd beyond the ring. Nobody exists but Erin and me, and I’ve already got my attack planned. I jog out easily to the center of the ring and dance side to side. I can feel my breasts bouncing, and that earns cheers. Big fucking deal.
Erin approaches me and throws a few punches in the air. We’re toying with each other and pretending to stick with the script. She throws a punch, and I bounce backward. Coming up quick, I tap her shoulder with my wrapped fist. She does the same to me, and soon we’re pushing each other around. The crowd is starting to get louder, but this is just fluff.
“Let’s see some titty shake.”
I shake my head in disgust and don’t even see the punch, but I feel the searing pain. Erin lands a punch in my eye, and I stumble backward onto my knees. I shouldn’t have looked away, and she took advantage. Erin has no intention of letting me win despite Bryce’s demand. I don’t go after her immediately. I move around her, biding my time as she eyes me with a shitty grin.
I lunge and go after that ridiculous ponytail. Erin should have pinned that thick rope of hair up. I grab it and pummel her face with my fist repeatedly as she struggles to break free. This is too easy. I push her off me, and she stumbles onto the ground.
“Show me your tits!”
These fuckers aren’t interested in skill. I flip the crowd off and spit into the crowd to screams of disgust. Erin is back on her feet, and it gets dirty. As we charge one another, the punches are savage. Pain flames across my ribs as she howls when I pound her in the gut. She tries to use her height to take me down, but I maneuver quickly behind her and kick her to the ground. She thrashes around, trying to get me off her, but I keep punching as the blood races up from her mouth.
I hear a nasty crack as I aim straight for her nose.
“Pull her fucking top off!”
I spot the guy screaming obscenities, and he glares at me with disappointment. I leap off Erin— she’s not going anywhere—and hop over the rope, landing on him. I grab the douchebag by the hem of his T-shirt and pull it up over his head. The asshole doesn’t know how to fight. He’s flailing like a blindfolded kid trying to hit a piñata. Hands grab me from behind, pulling me off him. I struggle as I hear the shouts and the laughter.
All the rage, all the hate, squeezes my head until I cannot see straight. My busted eye is swelling, and I squeeze both my eyes shut and scream with pent-up rage as I’m dragged away through the crowd, throwing punches. The cold air hits me as someone holds my wrists, and I’m dragged out through the back door.
“Watch her head.”
Good. Nova is with me. My body relaxes, but the fury doesn’t leave me. I don’t want to be controlled. I open my good eye and stare up into the blackness. The stars are concealed by monochrome clouds edged in gray moonlight. The darkness drifts toward me, easing downward, threatening to overwhelm me. I lie panting on the gravel, and when I try to move, it digs into my back.
“Who the fuck are you?” shouts Nova.
“A friend.”
My good eye focuses on Wyatt. He looks down on me with real concern. I shut my eyes and a moan slips out. I don’t want to see pity. Pity is for people who have no control over their lives, but I have control. I open my eye again as he pulls off his sweatshirt. He leans to place it over me but stops and stares. His eyes are on my hip, and I know he sees my ink. I lift my hand quickly to cover it. But he pulls it away. I feel his touch on my skin as his finger traces the outline of the phoenix rising inked on my hip.
The jagged gravel cuts, but I roll my body away.
Later, Bryce tries to call it a draw, but Grinder points out that Erin had to be carried out while I walked away. The fight ends in my favor. I let Bryce down, losing him more money than he owes me, but I didn’t let down my friends and any other person that believed I could do it. I know how to win.
Chapter 31
Astrid
“I’m bored with the teasing,” I confide in Roni as we walk to the dining hall. It’s smarter to keep Charlotte and my father a secret, but I tell Roni about the rest of it. And it doesn’t matter if I do or don’t tell. Everyone knows about the tasks, but not everyone cares. Hazing is part of being a Stonehaven.
“Fortunately, my teachers don’t seem to care about my trashy reputation,” I tell Roni, “I hear a few rude whispers in the hallways, but for the most part, I’m ignored. I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
Roni looks down at the leaves on the path as we walk. Her thoughts aren’t as forthcoming as her facial expressions. She knows that people are ignoring me, and my reputation has taken a serious hit. A good reputation at my old school meant people didn’t pester you because they respected your strength. At Stonehaven, people leave me alone, too, but for a very different reason. I’m being ostracized, and I thought I wouldn’t mind, but deep down, I care.
Roni smiles. “You’ve made a few friends, Astrid. And the athletic department loves you.”
“That was Charlotte’s idea,” I reply proudly, and Roni gives me a curious look.
“It’s weird that the two of you are getting along,” she says. “It’s like Cinderella hanging out with Maleficent.”
“I’m sure a lot of people think that, but we ignore them,” I reply.
Charlotte thinks it’s cool to have a friend that’s not in her debutante clique. And I appreciate Charlotte’s advice. It’s so obvious the things she says, but I’m so wrapped up in my drama that I can’t see solutions. She suggested that I join the track team after my run-in with Dr. Rawlins.
“Forget the Investors Club,” she told me one night while painting our nails in her room. “Join a team and get a college scholarship.”
“Holy fuck.” I blinked my eyes at her brilliance. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
Charlotte beamed her happy smile, just like the photo. “Daddy gave me the extra-smart gene. Don’t worry. We share it.” She winked.
It makes me a little sad that I can’t tell Roni about Charlotte and me. Roni is far from stupid, and the secrets I’m keeping are putting a wedge between us. She just doesn’t know why there’s a wedge.
Dinner is uneventful as school becomes more of a routine. Now that I’m aware that I’ve been staring longingly at the assholes’ table, I switch seats and sit with
my back to them. Out of sight and out of mind actually does work as I spend an entire meal focusing on Roni and Terri’s bizarre conversation.
“He is desperate to recruit girls to role-play,” says Roni, popping a chunk of broccoli on her mouth.
“Role-play?” I glare at Terri in disgust. “What kind of kink are you into?”
Roni laugh as Terri stares at me for a good thirty seconds. Instead of turning red, he slowly begins to laugh until he doubles over. I have no clue what the fuck is going on until Roni explains it to me in between gasps.
“You have to play one weekend,” she says, and then she grabs Terri’s shoulder, “We’ll have a wholesome weekend for Astrid. No cursing, drinking, smoking. Just all the G-rated stuff you’ve been deprived of, like pony rides and chocolate with nuts.”
Terri snaps his fingers. “We’ll make a list of wholesome activities and offer you tips on how to succeed at them.”
“What kind of things are you thinking about?” I ask cautiously.
“We can go to my grandmother’s farm,” explains Terri, “It’s not a working farm, but she has an orchard and invites guests there on the weekends to bake. You can mingle with people worth meeting.”
I’d rather hang at the Pit, but this might help me out. I imagine myself in a flannel shirt, sipping cider while smart, rich people sit around talking about the times they met other smart, rich people who do interesting things. A part of me is excited, but another part of me is calling myself a fool. “Rubbing shoulders” is what Dr. Rawlins called it. I can rub all the shoulders I like, but it won’t rub any high class off on me.
“Okay,” I shrug, poking at my baked potato. “Maybe.”
Roni and Terri look delighted that I said maybe. To them, it’s an adventure, and I smile, thinking about the adventures I used to go on with mom. Maybe I won’t need the Pit anymore. Maybe I can go to college. Maybe I’ll meet my dad and he’ll like me. Maybe I’ll wake up from this dream.
I shake the thoughts out of my head and check my phone. “I should head back to the dorm. Coach expects us to run laps before class.”
“No more sneaking out?” asks Roni.
Terri’s eyes widen. He stares at me like I’m the excitement he craves in his life of whittling wood and picking apples. One day, I might take them both to the Pit to see how the other half lives. I stand up and say my good nights and head for the door.
I step outside and pause under the granite archway, looking up at a half-moon and trying to figure out if it’s waxing or waning. Three months ago, I used to wipe the tables in that hall, and though I resisted change, I’m starting to realize how lucky I am to be at Stonehaven.
“Once again, we meet.”
My shoulders sag when I hear Pierce’s voice behind me, and I wish to hell that I hadn’t stopped. I debate going back inside the hall, but I’m not allowing these jerks to herd me around campus like a dumb sheep. The pathways are well lit, and people are out. I start marching toward the dorm with him trailing behind me. Justin materializes as if summoned and walks behind him.
“You don’t like to listen, Astrid,” Pierce continues a conversation we weren’t having.
“Why are you still pestering me?” I ask him, “Are you really that frustrated? You must be a loser if you can’t even score with one desperate girl with all your money.”
His ears turn red while he gets into my face. “This isn’t about me.”
“Is it?” I ask. “Still a virgin? You thought you had a chance to get rid of that little problem?”
“I’m not a virgin,” he lowers his voice quickly. “Don’t play like that.”
“I think you are,” I glance over at Justin. “And you definitely are.”
“I’m not,” Justin is wild-eyed like he’s caught in a trap.
“That’s why you came so quickly.” I laugh. “Cold air hits your dick, and you can’t hold back.”
Pierce laughs, no doubt happy to be off the hook. But Justin glares at me, and if looks could bury me on the spot, I would be under the nearest building. He walks on my other side, and I realize they’re boxing me in. I don’t say anything, but look to see who’s around.
“You lost your chance,” I tell them. “But you were never going to get it.”
“We’ll get another,” Pierce sounds confident stating his bullshit, “When’s the last time you had sex, Astrid? A girl like you can’t go for too long. You might get worked up and fuck the first dick you see.”
“Yeah,” laughs Justin, “Like Terri.”
I stop in my tracks. “Leave him alone.”
“Or what?” Pierce approaches, but he won’t do anything. A security guard is walking down the path from the opposite direction. “You’ll report us?”
I shake my head in fucking amazement. “I don’t snitch, not like you two.”
“I don’t gossip,” replies Pierce. His expression is serious, but he’s a liar.
“Then how did Rawlins find out about what happened?” I ask. “Someone had to tell. And I wonder how that lie sounded.” I imitate Pierce using a whiny voice, “She forced me, Dr. Rawlins. The bad girl touched me, and I felt funny in my pants. My crotch got tight, and I didn’t know what to do.”
Pierce frowns, but he keeps his hands to himself as the security guard walks by.
“I don’t snitch, Astrid,” he repeats the words with emphasis.
“Well, I didn’t tell on myself,” I reply. “My reputation is trash, which means I have nowhere else to go but rock bottom. I have no problem dragging you down with me with a few inventive lies.”
“You can’t do that,” Justin becomes agitated as he steps into my personal space, “You can’t go around telling lies about me. What are you going to tell?”
“Really? I can’t?” I ask, “So, who’s telling lies about me? Because I’d like you to tell them not to.”
Justin’s face contorts as his nerves take a hit. “You don’t talk about me, do you understand? Not about my family or me.”
I smirk. “Well, when you talk about me, it upsets my father.”
Pierce scoffs. “You don’t have a father. You have a mother, but unless she can remember who she was with that night…” He shakes his head. “You’ll never track down that DNA.”
I lift my finger, but I’m going to strike him with a threat. “I do have a father. And he’s coming to Stonehaven. And when he gets here, I’ll tell him to ruin you like you’re trying to ruin me with your lies.”
He tries to grab my finger out of his face, but he misses. “So, who’s your dad?”
“I can’t say.” Their laughter makes me feel stupid, but I conceal my emotions. Even if I did know his full name, I can’t tell. I won’t say anything. I won’t end my mother’s care to win a petty fight.
Charlotte heads up the path, talking to her friend Wren and a few other girls from our dorm. I detach myself from Pierce and Justin and hurry away to walk with them.
“Hey, Charlotte,” I speak in a bright, cheerful tone. “Can I walk with you?”
“Of course,” she giggles, then sees Justin and Pierce looking sullen. Charlottes waves to them. “Come away from those wicked wolves. I warned you about those men.”
The girls giggle, glancing over their shoulders at Justin and Pierce. I don’t know what the boys were expecting to happen, but I don’t think they thought the girls would whisk me away with them. I wrap my arm in Charlotte’s, and we disappear into the dorm.
Chapter 32
Astrid
I shouldn’t care, but I do, and that’s what leads me to Charlotte’s door the next day after class. The only decent clothes I own are the ones that Charlotte gave me. Didn’t loan me but actually gave. Cashmere and leather cost real money. Even used. I looked it up on eBay. The suitcase of clothes I arrived with doesn’t compare.
My deadbeat, absentee, worthless father is coming to visit, but I’ll be damned if I look like I need his charity.
“Hey,” she frowns. “What happened to your eye? Did you have
that last night?”
“Concealer. I sweated it off,” I reply, walking into her room, “I got into a fight when I went back to my old neighborhood.”
Charlotte sucks in air and immediately grabs a bag from out of her closet. “I hide my best makeup, or Wren would use it all. Makeup doesn’t grow on trees.”
