by Amy Tasukada
“I…” Hayato’s words faded like a memory better left forgotten. “Thank you.
Masuo shrugged. “It was only right for you to have your stuff back. I’m glad I could help.”
He could’ve easily teased back, demanding Hayato speak louder and repeat his thank-you, but Masuo didn’t. The curved lines of his smirk softened like he’d felt Hayato’s painful plea to keep back the loneliness.
Hayato shook his head. No. He didn’t need another man to scoop him out of his solitude. It was time he learned to make it on his own.
“What’s in the other suitcase?” Hayato asked. “I like shopping, but I don’t have that many clothes.”
Masuo laughed even though Hayato knew his joke wasn’t that funny, but it lightened the mood. “I figured Jiro made life super inconvenient for you, so I nabbed some stuff that would make life super inconvenient for him.”
Hayato unzipped the other suitcase. It held a sundries store worth of items. Jiro’s toothbrush, a handful of his dull-ass ties, all his left shoes. Jiro was going to be so pissed, and Hayato loved it!
He moved the collection of spoons aside and found a tall black box.
“You snagged Jiro’s bottle of Dom Pérignon! His boss gave him that when he saved the company a ton by firing a whole team and replacing them with contractors. He kept saying how he’d open it on a special occasion. Our first anniversary? Not enough. Me getting a promotion? Not enough. Ugh, he was such a loser.” Hayato pulled the bottle out of its box. “You got any glasses?”
“Coffee mugs count?”
“Perfect.” Hayato grinned. “Jiro would be even more pissed if he knew we were drinking his prized champagne from coffee cups.”
Masuo grabbed some mugs with the parlor’s logo on them.
Hayato ripped the foil from the bottle. “Get behind me so it doesn’t hit you in the eye.”
He twisted off the wire cage and popped the cork. Champagne gushed out.
“Hurry, get the glasses!” Hayato said.
It was too late. Half the champagne had spilled all over them, but Hayato couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so hard. The sweet tang of flowers and berries lingered in the air. His fingers sticky, dirty, and ready for more.
Hayato licked the champagne off his fingers and grabbed a mug out of Masuo’s hand. Their gazes met, and Hayato’s heart beckoned the other man closer.
Masuo’s sandy-brown eyes closed, and he leaned in, ready to share a kiss. Hayato’s heart screamed at him to do it. His fingers ached for another’s touch. His lips already buzzed with the excitement.
The kiss would swallow him whole, and he could fall into the trance of beauty and sex. A whole month in a surreal fantasy of endorphins. The longing clung to Hayato like his favorite pair of pants, but he swallowed and pulled himself out of his desire.
Hayato put his finger up to Masuo’s ready lips.
“Hey now, don’t ruin my lip gloss,” Hayato warned.
“Sorry, I didn’t…” Masuo pulled back and looked at the floor.
Masuo was cute and sexy, and maybe there was more behind his cocky grin. Hayato could easily see them together, but at the same time, Hayato could just as easily see himself with one of the parlor customers out front. January jumbled all his thoughts, and his heart cried out for mercy from his solitude more than any other time of the year. If he wasn’t careful, he’d end up in another mismatched relationship that would end in disaster.
But that didn’t mean he couldn’t have fun. He owed Masuo a thank-you and maybe an apology for being an ass the past few days.
“I’ll be back when you close tonight,” Hayato said. “Then we can celebrate getting my wardrobe back in style. That work for you?”
“I’ll be waiting.”
9
Masuo pulled his piercing back through his lip and tugged off his tie. Then he unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt, exposing a nice amount of chest.
“Maybe too much,” Masuo mumbled to himself, deciding two would be fine and three made him look desperate.
He wanted to be perfect for his date with Hayato.
Was it a date? It felt like a date. It was probably better Masuo didn’t think it was a date, especially since Hayato had rejected the perfect kissable moment. He shouldn’t have even tried, but everything had felt so right. A kiss would’ve made it all the sweeter.
Masuo shook the champagne-filled fantasy out of his head and slid on his jacket. He waited for Hayato outside the parlor. Hopefully he hadn’t been joking about going for a drink, intending to leave Masuo waiting out in the cold.
It didn’t take long for Hayato to stroll up. Masuo’s mouth dropped open. Hayato had ditched the typical yakuza suit and tie and wore a black coat with fuzzy trim. It draped across him like a short dress. A light layer of makeup emphasized his lush pink lips, and glittery purple eyeshadow made his amber eyes pop.
“Your eyes are so big,” Masuo blurted out. He needed to learn to control his mouth around Hayato.
“Don’t be too impressed. They’re contacts.” Hayato laughed. “Thanks again for rescuing my favorite honey-colored lens collection. They were limited edition, and I’ve been feeling naked without them.”
Masuo had no idea what Hayato was talking about, but he could’ve said anything, and it would’ve been fine. He was there, and that was all that mattered.
“I know a place. Wanna go there?” Hayato asked.
“Whatever you want.”
Hayato winked. “That’s what I like to hear.”
Masuo followed Hayato down the street. An electronic buzz sparked like a string of firecrackers through Masuo’s body. Damn the way Hayato’s jacket framed his ass in his tight pants. Was he wearing underwear?
Hayato stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Why don’t you walk beside me. That way you’ll stop checking out my ass and start a conversation.”
“I wasn’t—”
“You think I can’t tell?”
Masuo laughed and stepped to Hayato’s side.
“Well, you do have a nice ass,” Masuo said.
“That’s the kind of conversation I like. Keep talking.”
“And a nice smile.”
“Go on.”
“And you can be kind of a jerk.”
Hayato opened his mouth, then his lips curled into a smile. “I promise I’m not a jerk.”
“So you say.”
“I’m your boss.”
“So that means it’s okay you’re a jerk?”
“Okay, maybe I’ve been more of a hard-ass with you than with others. I’m sorry about that.” Hayato sighed. “January is a hard month.”
All the parlors must have lower profits in January. Knowing Endo, she probably blamed it on Hayato, who had to push all the managers.
“You can go back to complimenting me if you want,” Hayato offered.
Masuo laughed. “Three things seems enough.”
“I only count two unless you’re trying to tell me calling me a jerk was a compliment.”
“Well, I didn’t call you an asshole.” Masuo grinned. “Still, I’m excited to see how you make it up to me. I did rescue your circle lenses collection.”
“I’ll buy the drinks today, then we’re even.”
“Deal.”
Hayato took them to a gay bar so tiny Masuo could stretch out his arms and touch both sides. Eight people and the place looked packed.
Everyone greeted Hayato, exchanging air kisses and inside jokes. He returned each greeting with the same warmth given. There was the Hayato Masuo had met at New Year’s. Open and eager to make sure everyone had a good time. Masuo scurried to the empty stool beside Hayato before someone else could take it.
Masuo strummed his fingers against the electric-blue Lucite bar. “You come here often, I take it?”
“Hayato visits every week,” the bartender answered, turning to Hayato. “You want your usual?”
“Yeah, and keep them coming. Get one for my friend too.” Hayato turned
to Masuo. “Jiro would always stay late at work on Wednesdays to prepare for his Thursday meeting. I’d get bored and would come here until he came home.”
Masuo nodded, still on the high of Hayato introducing him as a friend. It had to mean something. He wasn’t an incompetent underling but a friend.
The bartender brought over two bright-blue drinks. “You usually never come on Saturdays. Is Jiro on a business trip?”
“I dumped his boring ass.” There was pain in Hayato’s voice. He held up his glass and turned to Masuo. “Here. Let’s toast to finally getting my stuff back and to your parlor. Hopefully it’ll have better profits tomorrow.”
They clinked their glasses together, and Masuo drank the sweet-and-salty drink.
“Do you like your drink?” Hayato asked.
“It’s delicious.”
“I know. I could drink a dozen of them without realizing. So, are you gay, bi, pan…”
“Bi,” Masuo gave a half smile. “Hopefully you’re not one of those guys who thinks it’s disgusting that I’ve been with a woman.”
“Nah. I’ve slept with plenty of drag queens.”
“That’s not exactly—”
Hayato waved his hand and took another gulp of his drink. “You know what I mean.”
Masuo didn’t.
Hayato was already halfway done with his drink, while Masuo was on his second sip.
“Do you prefer men or women more?” Hayato asked.
Masuo rubbed his thumb against the side of his glass. He’d never gone into details with anyone before, but Hayato made his sexuality abundantly clear, and something about that relaxed Masuo and made him feel like he could finally be himself.
“I’ve always preferred men,” Masuo said. “Growing up, I never thought it could happen, so I always hid that part of myself and went out with girls. Even when a boy confessed he liked me, I completely rejected him. But then I heard Father Murata was gay. He’s such a badass and doesn’t care if anyone knows he sleeps with men. If he could do it, then so could I. Nothing will stop me from getting married and having kids with someone I love. Woman or man.”
Hayato burst out laughing. “Except the LDP running things. Gay marriage will never be legal, and you do know two men can’t have kids, right?”
“There’s all that talk in Shibuya about allowing gay marriage.”
“Not having kids is the best part about being with a man. Are you even out to your parents?”
“Not yet.”
“Well, Mr. I Like to Write Lists, coming out to your parents should be your number one. After that disaster, you’ll see how you can’t simply scratch off wife and put husband on your idea of domestic bliss. Is that what made you join the yakuza in the first place? Thinking you could help change things?”
Masuo shook his head. “Is that your favorite pickup line?”
“I don’t have to use a pickup line on you. You already want me.”
Masuo pressed his lips together. It was true. Still, they’d already had the “why did you join the yakuza” conversation at the New Year’s party. Maybe Hayato had been so drunk then he couldn’t remember it.
“I was in a bad earthquake as a kid,” Masuo said. “Part of the building slipped off its foundation. I was trapped in an elevator. A yakuza saved me before anyone in the government had even shown up. Since then, I always wanted to be a yakuza and help the defenseless like they helped me.”
“Really?” Hayato laughed and downed the rest of his drink. “You take all that white-knight shit seriously?”
Masuo’s eyes narrowed. “I’m living proof it’s true.”
“Fine, fine.”
“What made you want to join?”
“I didn’t tell you before?”
“No, you said how it must’ve been lonely trapped in there, then asked my favorite sex position.”
“I’m versatile.” Hayato winked.
Masuo bit his tongue, trying not to get frustrated. “Why did you join the yakuza?”
“The money’s good.”
“That’s it? Money?”
Hayato stared at Masuo as if daring him to ask for the truth, but Masuo kept his gaze, wanting to see beneath the makeup and contacts. Hayato broke first, grabbing his new drink and taking a gulp. When he pulled down the glass, his eyes glowed as if daring Masuo to listen.
“My mom left us when I was ten.” Hayato’s ring tapped against his empty glass. “It hit Dad pretty hard, but he got remarried when my brother and I were fifteen. We only met her a few months before the wedding, but it was clear she didn’t want to suddenly have to deal with two teenage boys. Subaru suggested that Dad let us rent an apartment so he and his wife could start their life together.
“It worked well for a few years, then we got a notice the rent was late. Turned out Dad had had a baby and couldn’t afford our rent anymore. Of course, he forgot to tell us.” Hayato rolled his eyes. “Subaru’s older, by three minutes, and decided it was his job to work while I finished school. He even made me take the college entrance exams and everything.”
Hayato’s words sat in Masuo’s stomach like a lead weight. First Hayato’s mom had abandoned him, then his dad. Masuo might’ve been trapped in an elevator, but outside, his mother called out to him. Even when he joined the yakuza, both his parents still wanted to see him. He had to call every few weeks or his mom worried.
“But that explains why Subaru joined, not you,” Masuo said.
“Could you imagine my gay ass on a construction site?” Hayato laughed and finished off his drink. “Being a yakuza was a lot easier. Maybe not during the war, but that’s behind us now. And the only other job where I could be this gay is as a go-go dancer. A guy calls me a fag here, then I beat the shit out of him. Now with Father Murata as godfather, no one would dare act homophobic.”
The hours passed, but Masuo couldn’t tell until he yawned and looked at the clock. Hayato opened up more as the drinks flowed. Even the silent pauses in their conversations were comfortable, like the deep connection of a relationship decades old.
“Last drink,” Masuo said after his third. He’d lost count how many Hayato had finished. “I have to wake up early to open tomorrow.”
“Okay, okay.” Hayato held up his drink. “To all the fun things I get to do now that I am single!”
They tapped their glasses together.
“Like what?” Masuo asked.
“Really good phone sex. No videos or pictures. That’s cheating. It needs to be where you make up what you’re wearing and all that stuff. Jiro wouldn’t even send me a photo of him shirtless when he’d go on business trips.”
“I always wanted to go into one of those super expensive apartment showings pretending I was going to buy it.”
Hayato laughed. “That is the dullest fantasy I’ve ever heard. Come on, Masuo, live a little. What have you secretly always wanted?”
“You want something sexy?”
“The sexier, the better. I want to know all your fantasies.”
“Let’s make a list.”
Masuo took out a little notebook and on a blank page, wrote his house tour at the top of one side, then Hayato’s phone sex beside it.
“Matching piercings,” Masuo said, then wrote it underneath the house tour.
“What?” Hayato shook his head. “That’s not sexy. That’s painful.”
“It can be very erotic, especially if it’s in a more sensitive location.”
Hayato clicked his tongue, clearly not impressed. “Next, I want to be jacked off on a busy train.”
“Very risqué.”
“Now you have to give a sexy one.” Hayato playfully poked Masuo. “It’s not fair that I keep giving you good ones, and you give ones I’d never want to do.”
“Getting breakfast in bed—”
“That’s not sexy.”
“Naked,” Masuo finished.
“Okay, not bad, but you’ve slept with women and need to step up your definition of kinky with me. We’ll work on that.�
�
Hayato leaned over, his head on Masuo’s shoulder. His heart bounced around his chest like the balls flying around a pachinko machine. The light buzz of alcohol almost made Hayato glow, and the soft flush on his face reminded Masuo they were both very drunk again. Last time they’d both been drunk like this, it had led to the best sex of his life.
“You know what I’ve wanted for years now?” Hayato said.
“What?”
Hayato cupped his hand around Masuo’s ear and whispered, “I’ve always wanted to be arrested and have to convince the cop to let me go with my mouth.”
An almost undetectable gasp left Masuo, but the grin on Hayato’s face meant he’d heard. He turned in his seat, his legs spreading Masuo’s.
“Are you going to write that down?” Hayato asked as if it was a come-on.
Masuo swallowed and wrote.
Hayato stared down at Masuo’s lap before slowly lifting his gaze. “You want to get out of here? Maybe check out another hotel?”
Masuo refrained from saying yes. He’d finally started to get to know Hayato without flashing back to their New Year’s sex adventure. Another few rounds of sex wouldn’t help Masuo learn anything about Hayato outside the bedroom.
“I gotta open tomorrow.” Masuo hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision in the morning. “Some of us don’t have the pleasure of starting work after dinner.”
“You have to get some scars before you earn the privilege.”
“But can I at least have your number now?” Masuo could kick himself for sounding so insecure.
Hayato held up a finger. “Only call if you’re ready for phone sex.”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Good enough.”
Hayato wrote his number on the top of the list. Masuo pocketed it and smiled. It was a real date. His first real date with a man, and Masuo couldn’t have asked for anyone sexier.
“Walk you back to the station?” Masuo offered.
“Only if I get to stare at your ass this time.”
10
Hayato groped for his ringing phone. Stupid noise. Had he set his alarm? He could barely remember most of last night, let alone if he’d been sober enough to set an alarm when he’d got home. Fucking hangover. Why did January suck so much?
