by Amy Tasukada
The cheater lunged at Masuo and knocked the last of his air out of him. They tumbled to the ground. Masuo kicked the cheater in the face. Blood spurted from his nose.
“You think you can steal from my parlor?” Masuo grabbed the plant and slammed it on the cheater’s head.
The cheater went limp, but his chest still rose with his breath. He’d live but would think twice about coming into Masuo’s parlor ever again. He pulled out the man’s wallet and took the cash.
“You show your face at my parlor again, and you’re dead,” Masuo warned.
The cheater mumbled an agreement.
Another lurch and the elevator stopped. The doors opened, and Hayato stood outside with his hands on his knees, panting.
“You…did it,” he said around gulps of air.
Masuo stepped out of the elevator, and it was like coming out of a fantasy world. He could finally feel his heart pounding again. Somehow, he’d managed to go into the steel death trap. The victory over the cheater mixed with the euphoria of stepping into an elevator made Masuo’s blood rush. Masuo’s hands wrapped around Hayato’s waist and pulled him in for a kiss.
The elevator dinged, sending the cheater away.
Masuo smiled and interlaced his fingers with Hayato’s.
“Should we celebrate?” Masuo asked. “Maybe we could skip the movie and get a room at the hotel. It would be an upgrade from our previous room with the fuzzy heart-shaped pink bed.”
Hayato’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, but it wasn’t done in a sultry, come-hither way.
“I can’t tell you how much I want to say yes.” Hayato’s voice came out strained and like he was second-guessing every word that came from his glossed lips. “But all month I’ve been trying to make it on my own one full night, and I keep screwing up. If you can get into an elevator, then I should be able to sleep in a room where I can’t hear the person next to me.”
“You don’t have to push yourself because of me.”
“I don’t want to be a burden to my brother or to you. Once I do this, I promise we’ll have the most amazing night ever.”
Masuo laughed. “Okay. Why don’t you call me when you’re getting ready for bed?”
Hayato narrowed his eyes. “Isn’t that cheating?”
“One of my high school girlfriends always made sure we called each other before bed. Sometimes she would even nod off to sleep while we were on the phone. Don’t you get to decide your own definition of what being alone means? So decide talking on the phone until you fall asleep still counts.”
“Okay. I’ll call you before I go to sleep.”
“I know you can do it. Masuo squeezed Hayato’s hands and hoped the extra affection would help him conquer his fear.
27
Hayato swallowed hard, pushing back his fear of spending the night alone, and entered the video rental store. It was well into the night, but a half dozen other customers still lingered inside. He had to do it at some point. He needed to give it a decent try.
“Is there something specific you’re looking for?” one of the employees asked.
“Do you have the Detective Pom Pom movie?” Hayato asked.
“Ah, the kids are having trouble sleeping, eh?”
Hayato rubbed his neck. “Yeah…”
“The detective puts mine right to sleep. The kids’ section is this way.”
The worker led Hayato to a rack that had been dedicated to the show.
The man pulled out one of the boxes and handed it to Hayato, but the cover had a picture of the horrible 3D Pom Pom.
“Do you have the older version?”
The man laughed. “Of course. I always preferred the hand-drawn look myself.”
Hayato took the older movie, then grabbed a few other DVDs from another section so it wouldn’t look odd when he checked out.
With the movies secured, Hayato grabbed his bag from the train station locker and checked in to a nice hotel. There were dozens of hotels to pick from, but Hayato picked one with the nicest-looking bathroom. Spending two weeks washing up in a tiny stall had made him crave the luxury of a deep soak in a bath.
He leaned against the back wall of the hotel elevator and stared at himself in the warped golden walls. If Masuo could go into an elevator, nothing would stop Hayato from staying the night alone. He’d been working on it all month, albeit mostly failing, but with Masuo’s words echoing in his heart, it finally felt possible.
Hayato entered the Western-style room. A huge fluffy bed greeted him. He flung himself onto it and sank into the plush comforter. All the little aches and pains from the nights on the stupid beanbags melted away.
It was already after eleven. If he could actually fall asleep and stay asleep for six hours, he’d call it a success.
But it didn’t take long for the silence to sink in.
He was alone.
No one was there to stop him from doing something stupid and ending up like his mother.
Hayato swallowed the rising panic in his throat and touched the phone in his pocket. Masuo was a phone call away. He expected Hayato at the parlor tomorrow morning. If Hayato didn’t show up, Masuo would be worried and go looking for him.
And Masuo expected a call tonight.
Hayato’s muscles loosened, and he took in a deep breath. He could make it through the night.
He popped the Pom Pom DVD into the player. The familiar opening images of the animated poodle caused a wave of memories to wash over Hayato. He and Subaru had watched it so many times they’d memorized it. They would take turns playing Pom Pom and act out the lines for fun. Their parents must’ve hated the movie by the time they’d grown out of the phase.
Hayato crawled under the covers and called Masuo.
“Sorry it’s so late,” Hayato said. “I had to drop off the cash at the safe house, then go over the details with Endo. Everything took longer than I thought it would.”
“Oh?”
“I told her all about the impressive way you took down the cheater. I even dropped a hint about how your profits seem to be matching the trajectory information you gave her, then suggested that if your projections continue to match over the next month, you should get a part-time worker to help you out.”
“Not a day off?” Masuo joked.
“I might have to lick her shoes before she even takes my part-timer suggestion. You deserve it though.”
Masuo chuckled, his voice sleepy. Hayato hated that he had to call him so late.
“Calling you still feels like cheating,” Hayato said.
“Would it be better if I called you?”
“I…” Hayato bit his lip. “Maybe?”
Masuo hung up and a few seconds later called back.
“Ah, Hayato, thanks for answering,” Masuo said. “I’m having trouble sleeping. You mind talking to me for a little while?”
Hayato’s heart soared at the words. What magic had he somehow conjured to get Masuo to stick around?
“Sure,” Hayato said. “I sometimes have trouble falling asleep too.”
“Are you watching TV?”
“I’m watching the Detective Pom Pom movie.”
Masuo laughed. “Pom Pom is number one.”
Hayato snuggled a little deeper into the bed. “Is Mochi with you?”
“Taking up half my pillow.”
“Hmm,” Hayato yawned. “She’s queen of the house.”
“Can you hear her purring? I think she’s doing it because she can hear you on the other end of the line.”
Mochi’s purring grew louder. Hayato closed his eyes, imagining the night she’d lain on his chest and Masuo had held on to his hand. It had been so peaceful. It was almost like he was back there.
“Hayato?” Masuo’s voice sounded quiet and far away.
“Hmm.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
With Mochi’s steady purr in his ear and Masuo’s words in his heart, Hayato found sleep.
Hayato’s ala
rm cut through his dream. The intro animation for the Pom Pom DVD kept playing the first few lines of the theme song before instructing the user to press play. He clicked off the TV, then snuggled deeper into his blanket cocoon. He wanted to sleep.
He drifted off…
The alarm went off again five minutes later. Hayato groaned and turned it off correctly but then noticed the time.
Eight?
He’d managed to sleep through the whole night. By himself!
A whole night of restful sleep. All because Masuo’s voice had been the last thing he’d heard.
He thumbed through his contacts, ready to call Masuo to scream in celebration, but he realized Masuo would be getting ready for work too.
Hayato washed up and got dressed quicker than he ever had. He extended his stay at the hotel for the rest of the week and made a quick stop at a café. He bought a few celebration-worthy treats and arrived at the parlor gate at the same time as Masuo.
Hayato handed Masuo a cup. “I got you a coffee.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Hayato held up his cup.
“Are we toasting?” Masuo asked.
“Yes, to your victory over elevators and my night alone.”
Masuo’s eyes widened. “You did it?”
“I have you to thank for it.” Hayato’s voice caught in the back of his throat. “I know one night is only the beginning, and I have a long way to go, and I was talking with—”
Masuo’s kiss cut off Hayato’s words. It was deep and filled with every bit of longing Hayato had held back all morning. It was a kiss Hayato felt down to his toes. He dropped his coffee and clutched onto Masuo, hoping to convey his deep-seated need to be with him because Hayato knew he would never find the words to express it.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, okay?” Masuo pressed their foreheads together. “If I hadn’t been beating the crap out of the cheater, I wouldn’t have gone into that elevator. I’m still not sure I could bring myself to do it again. But I did it. Just like you stayed the night by yourself.”
Hayato’s heart wanted to burst. He squeezed Masuo’s hand. “I want to help you get into more elevators.”
“I’d like that.” Masuo smiled. “But only if I can help you sleep through more nights alone.”
“I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
Epilogue
Months later…
It always took some finagling for Masuo and Hayato to match their days off, but since Masuo had finally earned a full-time worker, it had gotten a little easier. Sure, he’d left the guy an hour-by-hour checklist, but he’d stopped calling on things a few months back.
Masuo stepped out of the elevator and stopped in front of Hayato’s apartment door. He checked his pockets to make sure he had everything, then knocked.
“We have to be quiet. Kaori finally settled down.” Hayato opened the door enough for Masuo to slip inside.
“Look at you being a good uncle.”
“I figured Subaru and Fumiko could use a good night’s sleep.”
Hayato’s furniture style ended up being a cozy and eccentric mix of colors and textures, like he’d stumbled upon a basket of a grandma’s scrap fabric and told the upholstery shop to use it all. Masuo sat on the blue velvet sofa, the only thing that wasn’t seven different colors, while Hayato rested his head on Masuo’s lap. A baby monitor lay on the large, tufted-cushion coffee table.
Their conversation flowed as it always did. Hayato played with Masuo’s hand while they recounted the events of the past few days.
“I came out to my parents,” Masuo said.
Hayato’s eyes widened. “How did they take it?”
“Pretty well. I’d been dropping hints about it for the past year, so I’m sure they knew something was coming.”
“They’re probably holding out hope you’ll end up with a woman.”
“I don’t think so. I told them about you and how wonderful you are.”
Hayato rolled his eyes. “They probably hate me now.”
“No. They want to meet you.”
“That would be one awkward dinner.”
“They want to meet the man I want to marry.”
Masuo slid off the sofa and got down on one knee. Hayato’s mouth dropped open. His rose-colored lips moved, but no words came out. Masuo pulled out the ring, a slim-profile silver ring with amethyst gems.
“When I close my eyes and think about the future, I can’t picture it without you by my side,” Masuo said. “I know not all of Japan accepts gay marriage yet, but Shibuya has, and I’m sure more cities will fall in line.”
“Yes!” The word finally flew from Hayato’s lips.
Hayato hugged Masuo, but in his excitement, he ended up falling off the sofa, and they both thumped to the floor. They laughed, and Hayato kissed Masuo. Their first kiss as fiancés, and Masuo knew he would never tire of Hayato’s cherry-flavored kisses.
“We’ll have to throw a party to celebrate,” Hayato said.
“We could invite Subaru and Fumiko.”
“And Arashi and Kira.”
They had finally started dating a few months back. So far, they were going strong.
Hayato held out his hand. “Put it on me.”
Masuo looked around for the ring. “It must’ve fallen out of my hand.”
They both got on their knees and searched for the ring, laughing at how they’d been engaged for less than three minutes and had already lost the ring.
“Found it! It got knocked under the coffee tuft.” Hayato gazed down at the ring. “You got me one with amethysts.”
Masuo smiled and scooted over to Hayato. “At first, I thought about having a replica of Fumiko’s ring made, since you told me that story about your mom wanting it passed down, but then I thought Fumiko has it, and she could give it to Kaori, so I thought we could start our own tradition with this ring.”
Hayato rubbed his eyes. “I’d like that.”
Masuo slipped the ring onto Hayato’s finger and sealed it with a kiss. So far, they’d challenged and sacrificed to make each other better, but Masuo knew their challenges and sacrifices had built a solid foundation for their love to span decades.
Thanks for reading!
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As a gift, enjoy the first chapter of The Yakuza Path: Flowers of Flesh and Blood at the end of this book. Flowers is a gritty mafia thriller where Hayato is a side character.
Author Note
Thanks so much for reading. I wrote most of this story during the summer and fall of the plague year of 2020. It was nice to have that distraction. There is an expression about how artists use their art to exorcise their demons, so many parts of this book helped me work through so much… I’m going to blame the plague for letting all that surface again after so many years. As always, if you’re feeling depressed or unwell, please seek help.
Addicted to Lust allowed me to hit the romance button I need to be pressing once a year and mixed well with my love of yakuza fiction. For me, it was the perfect marriage of the two. I hope the first in the Yakuza Path Romance series did the same for you! It is a spinoff my thriller series, the Yakuza Path. The Romance allows me to spend more time on the side characters and lets me push the romance button that I usually can’t see underneath all the blood that gets spilled in the thrillers.
If Hayato and Subaru sound like familiar names and you’ve read my Yakuza Path series, then you’re right! They made an appearance as side characters in Flowers of Flesh and Blood and will continue to be in the thriller series for the foreseeable future. So if you don’t mind a lot more blood, check out that book. If you’re one of these people who care about timelines, Addicted to Lust, excluding the epilogue, takes place before The Yakuza Path: The Deafening Silence.
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, can read the next Yakuza Path Romance called My Heart’s Desire. Sign up today at www.amytasukada.com/free-stuff.
About the Author
International best-selling author Amy Tasukada writes thrilling times of crime, love, and gore. Readers who crave diverse characters, unique settings, and edge-of-your-seat action will devour her Yakuza Path series. When Amy isn’t writing, she can be found drinking tea in a frilly dress, bending to the will of her cat, and planning her next trip to Japan. Amy identifies as queer and is a sought-after speaker for her lectures on author newsletters, writing LGBT+ characters, and cultural proficiency, diversity, and inclusion.
Connect with Amy on her website
www.amytasukada.com
Bonus First Chapter of The Yakuza Path: Flowers of Flesh and Blood
Aki ignored the commotion in the crowded kitchen of mafia headquarters and placed the last white-chocolate-and-matcha-covered strawberry on Nao’s tea tray. Today their relationship would finally move beyond loyal secretary and godfather to becoming lovers. Nao only needed Aki’s direct proclamation to finally snap out of his ludicrous belief that the city of Kyoto would never allow them to be together. Sure, everyone Nao had been with had died, but they were in the mob; of course there’d be some deaths.
“You forgot the condoms.” Kohta chuckled, sending all of Aki’s nerves ablaze.
Aki was tired of the joke—the same joke, the same painfully unfunny joke—rubbing in the false rumor of how much he and the boss screwed every morning. Nothing could be further from the truth but closer to Aki’s fantasy. If Kohta was half the friend he’d claimed, he’d stop grinding salt into the wounds scarring Aki’s heart.
Aki snatched the cast-iron teapot and slammed it millimeters from Kohta’s fingers, too angry to even bother looking at the man.
“Say condoms one more time, and I’m going to punch you so hard no woman will want to sleep with you for a month.” Aki’s tone sounded as sharp as a knife.
