by Tina Martin
“You’re always telling me how pretty I am, but you’re so handsome, Tennyson. Handsome and perfect. That’s how I know you’re a heartbreaker. Aren’t you?” she asked, her thumb gliding over his lips. “Aren’t you?”
Tennyson didn’t waste time trying to refute her statement. She wouldn’t understand, anyway.
“Did you know I’ve never been with a man?”
“No, I didn’t, but—”
“I’ve never made love to anyone. Aren’t I pathetic? Men say I’m stuck up because I don’t give them a chance, you know, but what’s the point, right? Then there’s you.”
“What about me?” he asked.
“You’re trying to be all chivalrous because you like me.”
“I do like you, but—”
“Shh,” she said, shifting her body even closer to his. This time, her lips made contact with his face. Causing his entire body to lock up.
“Zoya, stop. Okay. You don’t know what you’re doing.”
“Yes, I do,” she whispered directly into his ear. “I just kissed you, and I want to do it again.”
“Only because you’ve had three martinis, now go to sleep.”
“I don’t wanna go to sleep,” she said toying with his ear. When he felt her tongue trace its shape, he darted away from her.
“You need to rest, sweetheart,” he said, willing himself not to feel anything at the moment although he couldn’t much help the way his body reacted when she touched him. The way he ached for her. He was only human, and he found her beautiful from the first. That mixed with her warm tongue fiddling with his ear was enough to make his body react in all kind of ways but in one particular way he didn’t want to feel right now.
“Do you think I’m pretty?” she asked.
“Yes. You’re beautiful, Zoya.”
“Then why are you trying to make me stop?” she asked nipping at his ear again before kissing his neck. “Don’t you want me?”
“What I want is to get to know you, Zoya.”
She rolled her body on top of his and said, “Well, tonight is your lucky night because I’m giving you the chance to know me thoroughly, so get to know me, Tennyson Tillman.” She dipped her head, kissed his lips, and she did so without any response from his mouth. Still, she slowly planted little kisses on him, her soft lips colliding with his firm ones over and over again.
“Zoya, enough. Okay. Stop.”
Defiant, she kept trying to kiss him.
Fed up, Tennyson finally got a good grip on her and said, “Stop, Zoya!” He placed her back into her original position on the bed.
“What? I’m not good enough for you either?”
“It’s not about whether you’re good enough.”
“Then why can’t you love me?”
“Because this is not how a man loves you.” Tennyson sat up. “Go to sleep.”
“Please don’t leave me here alone, Tennyson.”
“You’re not alone. You’re at my house. My bedroom is only a few steps down the hallway.”
“Please don’t leave,” she cried ignoring what he’d just said.
“Okay. Stop crying,” he told her, but she continued wailing, breaking it down. Feeling sorry for her, Tennyson laid down again and pulled her into his embrace, feeling her body tremble as she cried herself to sleep.
* * *
Close to a half hour later, Tennyson eased her back into place so he could slide off the bed. He made sure his unexpected guest was comfortable and nestled between covers before he left the room. Then he jogged downstairs. He didn’t want to, but he had to call Harding to let him know where Zoya was. No doubt he’d be looking for his sister and since Savannah knew where Zoya was, nine times out of ten, Harding did, too.
He pulled up Harding’s number in his contacts and waited for him to answer.
“Hey, Tennyson,” Harding said. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with Zoya. Savannah said she met up with you.”
“Yeah, about that…” Tennyson didn’t know where to begin.
“Where’s my sister, man?” Harding asked, sounding testy.
“She had a little too much to drink, so I brought her home with me.”
“What!”
“It’s not a big deal, Harding.”
“Don’t tell me it’s not a big deal! That’s my little sister, man. And why is she there with you?”
“I couldn’t let her drive and she didn’t want to come there, so I brought her home with me.”
“Man, I promise, if you lay a hand on my sister—”
“I didn’t touch her. What kind of man do you think I am?”
Harding sighed. “Okay, look I appreciate you making sure she was safe, but this isn’t like Zoya to do something so reckless.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know my sister.”
“Then you also know she’s having a hard time dealing with your father’s absence from her life.”
“She talks about it from time-to-time, yes, but never to the point of getting so upset that she’d turn to alcohol to cope. Zoya’s smarter than that.”
“Well, I think you should talk to her.”
“I’ll do that. Just make sure she gets here safely. Is she awake now?”
“No. She’s still sleeping. She should be okay in the morning and if she is, I’ll take her to get her car. I have to be over there to meet with Savannah, so I’ll follow her to your place.”
“Okay,” Harding said, then ended the call.
Chapter 7
In the morning, Zoya opened her eyes to find herself alone in an unfamiliar room. She looked around and had no idea where she was until she ran through the events of the night prior – the few she could remember that is. She’d gone to dinner with Tennyson. Everything after that was a blur.
A double knock on the door diverted her attention there. She watched Tennyson peep inside and say, “Good morning.”
She didn’t respond, almost like she was in a state of shock. Or confusion. “What time is it?” she asked him.
“It’s—” Tennyson glanced at his watch. “It’s 8:35 a.m. I usually meet up with Savannah by 9:00.”
“Okay.” Zoya rubbed her eyes. “Alright. Give me a minute. I’ll be ready to go in like five—give me five minutes.”
“Take your time, Zoya,” he said as he closed the door.
Zoya sat up on the bed, then slowly stood up holding her head. She’d had too much to drink last night – that much she could figure out without being told. She didn’t remember coming out of her clothes but there she stood in a bra and panties. So embarrassing. She picked up her pants, stepped into them, sliding them up her legs, then tiptoed to the bedroom door where she glanced out into the hallway to make sure Tennyson was nowhere around. After she confirmed he wasn’t, she opened the door, found the bathroom where she saw her blouse on the floor, then after putting it back on, she took a long look at herself in the mirror. She looked a mess. Her eyelids were red and puffy.
Oh, God…I was crying!
She wet a paper towel and blotted her eyes as if it would relieve some of the redness. It didn’t do a thing to help. She was a wreck. There was no way to get around that and it was especially no use in hiding it from Tennyson who was there to witness everything.
Dang. How did I get so far gone?
She emerged from the bathroom and carefully made her way downstairs where she knew Tennyson was waiting. She found him sitting on the sofa, with his hands pressed together like he’d been in deep thought.
Tennyson glanced up when he heard her footsteps. “Ready?”
She tried to hide a frown. She wondered what he thought of her now that she looked like a junkie. Well, she didn’t look that bad, but she didn’t want anyone to see her in this condition, let alone a strikingly handsome lawyer who may have been interested in her. Now, she was at his house with a prominent stain of embarrassment on her face. What a way to make an impression…
“Zoya?”
“Yes?”
“Are you ready?” he asked, standing.
“Yeah. Where are my shoes?”
“By the door. Your purse is there, too.”
Zoya followed him near the garage entrance, stepped into her shoes then threw her purse strap on her shoulders.
Tennyson then handed her the keys to her car.
“Crap! My car.”
“Don’t worry. I’m going to take you by there to pick it up. Are you feeling okay this morning?”
“I’m fine besides a slight headache.”
“But you’re okay to drive, correct?”
“Yes, I can drive.”
* * *
Thank goodness the drive to the restaurant was a short one because she couldn’t handle the awkward silence while they drove. He didn’t know what to say about last night and she didn’t know how to start off the conversation about what had happened. She was too embarrassed to do anything, so she sat in the passenger seat and hid her eyes behind a pair of sunglasses.
Tennyson slowed to a stop next to her car. She couldn’t get out fast enough. She didn’t offer him a ‘thank you’ or anything. She just got into her car, started it and began the drive to her brother’s place.
Glancing in the rearview mirror, she could see Tennyson trailing her. “That’s right. He’s coming to work with Savannah today,” she said evenly, which meant, not only had the man witnessed her at her lowest – he would be around to see the aftermath of it as well.
This couldn’t get any worse!
She turned into the driveway where he parked right behind her car and got out of his car just as fast as she emerged from hers.
“Zoya,” he called out.
“Yes,” she responded but kept on walking.
“If you need to talk about anything—”
“No, I don’t need to talk,” she said cutting him off. “I’m fine.”
She continued on inside then quickly ascended the stairs to her room where she closed and locked the door. She sat on the bed again, held her head and breathed.
Get it together, Zoya.
During the get-it-together process, her phone rang. Harding was calling. She wanted to ignore it. No doubt he wanted to know where she was last night. It didn’t matter that she was thirty-two. She was still his little sister.
“Hey,” she answered.
“Really, Zoya? You go out with a guy you hardly know, get drunk and spend the night at his place?”
Zoya massaged her temples. She already had a headache and his disciplinary tone had her brain pulsating. “First of all, I wasn’t drunk, Harding.”
“Well, you had too much to drive. That makes you impaired.”
She sighed. “And as for spending the night at his place, nothing happened.”
“I thought you were more responsible than this, Zoe.”
“Harding, please don’t give me the third degree. It was a mistake. I was in my feelings and—”
“About what?” Harding inquired, though he’d gotten some of this information directly from Tennyson already.
“If Tennyson told you I spent the night at his place, I’m sure he told you everything else, too.”
“I’m not talking to Tennyson right now am I? I’m talking to you.”
Zoya pushed out a breath and said, “I can’t do this right now, Harding. We’ll talk later. I’m not up to it.”
“Yeah. Okay. Later.”
Zoya placed the phone on the nightstand and thought a shower would help her feel better.
She was wrong.
She returned to her bed and laid down again thinking about her father. She wished he was still alive so she could say all the things she couldn’t say before – things she wasn’t mature enough to talk about before. She wondered why he lied to her mother and why he claimed to be in love with two women to the point that he couldn’t let either of them go. Life was all about learning and progressing, so what did she learn from her parents? That, if a man loved you, even if he was married to someone else, the relationship was acceptable? How could it be?
Chapter 8
A tap at the door startled Zoya out of a good nap. “Who is it?”
“It’s Savannah. Open up.”
Zoya eased off of the bed and stretched. Times like this made her wish she’d stayed at a hotel where she could sleep in without being bothered. Eyes barely opened, she unlocked the door for her sister-in-law. “Hey…what time is it?”
“It’s a few minutes after three.”
She yawned again. “Jeez. Have I really been sleeping that long?”
“You have. Must’ve been a rough night, hunh?”
“You have no idea, Savannah. Tennyson must think I’m a complete psycho. I don’t even remember everything that happened last night.”
“Come downstairs so we can talk about it. You’ve been cooped up in this room all day.”
“Is Tennyson gone already?”
“Yeah. He just left.”
“Shrew. Good.” Zoya stepped out into the hallway and walked with Savannah downstairs. “By the way, I’m still cooking dinner for you guys tonight, even though Harding’s pissed at me.”
“Yeah, he was a little upset about the ordeal,” Savannah said as they stepped into the kitchen.”
“I gather Tennyson told him everything?”
“He told him you had a tad bit too much to drink, and he thought you needed to talk to someone about your anger issues.”
“Anger issues? I don’t have any anger issues.”
“Well, it was more of the issues you have stemming from what your father had done.”
“And what did Harding tell him?” Zoya asked walking to the refrigerator.
“He didn’t tell me that part.”
“Great.”
“Zoya, if you need help—”
“Girl, I don’t need any help. I’m here to help you out, remember?”
Savannah cracked a smile.
“For dinner tonight, I’m making Salisbury steaks with sautéed onions and green peppers. For sides, there will be bacon-mashed potatoes and a salad.”
“Sounds good. You know I’ll help if you need me to.”
“Oh, no ma’am. You are not going to do a thing but kick up your feet and relax.”
Zoya removed a package of ground beef from the freezer, placing it on the counter to thaw. She should’ve done it sooner, but she’d been knocked out asleep instead, recovering from last night. “I’m going to start cooking in about an hour or so.”
“Okay, Zoe. In the meantime, can you help me choose wallpaper samples for my little man’s room?”
“Sure! Yes! The fun stuff!”
Savannah laughed at her excitement.
“He’s going to have the room I’m sleeping in, right?”
“Yep.” Savannah opened her laptop, then pulled up some samples she’d saved. “I’m leaning toward this one with the blue and white stripes.”
“And are we sure it’s a boy at this point? I’ve heard stories of the doctors getting it wrong.”
“Girl, don’t say that. We already have boy clothes, shoes—everything. If it’s not a boy, my doctor is getting sued.”
Zoya chuckled. “I’m just messing with you. And yes, I like the blue and white stripes.”
Savannah pulled up a different sample. This particular one had yellow and gray stripes of varying widths.
“Oh, no,” Zoya said. “That looks too busy. Next.”
Savannah giggled. “So, tell me Zoya—when are you settling down or are you so accustomed to the single lifestyle that you don’t want to interrupt it with a man?”
“I am used to being single, and it looks like it’s going to be that way, so...”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“It does when I don’t trust anyone.”
“Zoe, you can’t just write off all men as unworthy.”
“Yes, I can. You’re lucky. You have Harding.”
Savannah shook her head. “Zoya, Zoya, Zoya—you have to find a wa
y to get over this hurdle of trust in order to experience life.
“Maybe, but at this point, I don’t see how I’m going to do that.”
“You need to find out quickly because if you don’t, you’re going to let it ruin your life. Look at me for example—I was at fault for being afraid of what my parents thought of Harding. That was my trial. It wasn’t until I almost lost him that I decided to confront my parents and eventually Harding forgave me. If you don’t forgive your father, and your mother for that matter, you’re never going to live.”
“I know. You’re right. My problem is, I’m not sure how to get there yet.”
“Did you try talking to Tennyson about your parents last night? Is that why you were drinking?”
“I wasn’t drinking in the sense of trying to get drunk. I had an apple martini before dinner, one with dinner, then after dinner, I ordered a third one and got to talking about my father and how he treated my mother. Tennyson tried to stop me, but I didn’t listen to him. I should’ve listened. If I had, I wouldn’t have made a fool out of myself. I think I actually tried to come on to him, Savannah.”
“What!”
“Yes.”
“Come on to him how?”
“I think I kissed him and at one point, I was on top of him and—”
“What!” Savannah screeched a second time. “So, that’s why you were up in the room all day. You were avoiding him.”
“Yeah. It was bad. I’m so embarrassed.”
“It’s happened to the best of us. You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. In fact, Tennyson was actually concerned about you. He kept looking at the stairs to see if you would come down and asked me if I thought you were okay.”
“Don’t know why, especially after last night.”
“Because he likes you.”
“He may have, but after last night—”
“He still likes you,” Savannah said. “You should call him.”
“No. We agreed that we would only go on one date. That’s over and was a complete disaster so...”
Savannah smiled.
“What?” Zoya asked, searching for the source of her smile.
