by Nadirah Foxx
What the fuck?
“What are you talking about?” I asked before Matt could respond.
Leo stood in the middle of the hall with his fists clenched, nostrils flaring, and teeth bared. “I guess you didn’t tell him you were with me?”
My gaze bounced from Leo to Matt. Both men stared at me. Time to set the record straight. “Matt, I admit that I made a huge mistake when I went out with Leo.”
“Come on, Rachel,” Leo said. “We did more than date. I fucked your brains out. Had her screaming my name. I’m sure her neighbors heard.”
I glanced up nervously at Matt.
His jaw twitched, and he wouldn’t look at me. “Is that true, Rachel?”
“One time.” Anger soon replaced my shame. “I don’t plan on ever repeating it.”
Matt’s head bobbed. Leo’s face turned bright red, and he slammed his hand into the wall. “I thought you were special. Turns out you’re like every other bitch.”
In a blink of an eye, Matt was in Leo’s face. Although I would have liked to have seen Matt beat the shit out of the man, I didn’t want Matt to lose his job. I grabbed his elbow and tugged him back.
“He’s not worth it, Matt.” To Leo, I said, “Do yourself a favor and don’t come back around here.”
Leo’s gaze narrowed. He sneered at Matt before his attention returned to me. “Breaking up with me is your big mistake, Rachel. I don’t give up easily.”
Matt barked, “Are you threatening her?”
Leo didn’t respond. He simply stared for a long, uncomfortable minute before he walked away.
∞∞∞
Still in shock, I ran into my apartment. Matt was right behind me.
“Are you okay?”
Trembling, I leaned against the wall. I would be lying if I said Leo’s words didn’t rattle me. I had the strangest sense of déjà vu. Taking a deep breath, I glanced at Matt. “I’ll be fine.”
Instead of addressing my words, he said, “Why didn’t you tell me you slept with that man?”
Was he trying to piss me off?
I folded my arms. “I didn’t owe you an explanation. We weren’t involved. Last time I checked, I’m still single.”
“Still?” Matt’s face tightened. “Even after last night?”
I sighed. “I don’t plan on going out with anyone else. I was honest when I said I wanted to get to know you, but we haven’t committed to each other.”
He pursed his lips. “Then let me fix that. Rachel St. John, I’d like an exclusive relationship with you. I don’t want to see anyone else. Let’s give this a chance and see where it leads.”
“Okay.” I pushed off the wall. “Don’t you have to get to work?”
“I do. Keep your door locked and your phone close. I’ll check in on you when I can.”
“Matt, I can take care of myself. I have a gun locked in a safe.”
His head flinched. “No—”
“Dad taught me to shoot after Mom’s death. I can handle a gun without hesitation. Stop worrying about me.”
Matt pulled me into his arms. “I care about you, Rachel. That gives me the right to worry.”
As soon as he walked out, Scott called. “I just got off the phone with Matt. What’s going on?”
Something told me that Matt had filled Scott’s ear with a lot of nonsense, so it was better for me to volunteer the details. After I explained what happened with Leo, Scott wanted to come by the apartment.
“I don’t need a babysitter, Scott,” I said firmly. “If I need anything, I’ll call.”
“Please do. You know that you can always spend the night with us.”
“Thanks, and goodbye, Scott.”
∞∞∞
Unfortunately, Matt pulled a double shift and couldn’t drop by. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I cleaned my apartment and prepped a casserole for the next night’s dinner. Around nine o’clock thunder boomed, and the sky darkened. I’d always considered myself to be levelheaded, but I couldn’t shake the dire sensation creeping through my gut. It was like the elements were warning me that something bad would happen.
Making matters worse, I sensed Leo’s presence. Like he might be watching me, waiting for me in the shadows. I knew that was nonsense, but still…
∞∞∞
The raging storm awakened me. Lightning lit up the room and thunder shook the walls. I reached for my phone. First, I saw that it was only two in the morning. Second, I saw a text message from Matt.
Matt Wallace: Hey, gorgeous. I’m guessing you’re in bed. Wish I were with you.
I quickly typed out a reply.
Rachel St. John: I went to bed early. Call me when you get out of mass. I’ll give you directions to my dad’s house.
Matt must have been looking at his phone.
Matt Wallace: Sounds like a plan. Have a good night.
I hated to admit it, but Crystal was right. Matt was the type of guy to build a future with. The thought made me smile. For a change, I looked forward to a future instead of avoiding it.
Then I was wide awake, but it was too early to get up and too late to call anyone else. Besides Matt, who would I contact? It seemed rather childish to let a storm and a few haunting words make me scared.
But I was.
Swinging my legs out of bed, I checked the floor for my slippers, but I couldn’t find them. Strange. I could have sworn I had them before turning in. Maybe they were in the living room.
When I left the bedroom, I heard a strange sound—like someone humming—coming from the sofa. I clicked on the overhead light, but nothing happened. Same thing with the lamp. Across the room, a furtive movement caught my eye. Black on black. Silence.
“You really should get the lock changed.”
The familiar voice froze my muscles. Common sense told me to go back to my room. Find my phone. Call the cops. Instead, I said, “Wh-what are you doing here?”
My gun.
Although I know how to use it, I always hoped I never would. I wished I had grabbed the weapon instead of leaving it in the safe.
“What do you mean? I gave you time to think. Get your act together. Now, I’m home. Where I’m supposed to be, sweetheart.”
He’s home…
A clap of thunder and then lightning flooded the room, causing an eerie glow over Leo. A gun—my gun—was in his hand.
Fear punched me in the gut. I was trapped in a room with the lunatic. I’d had a bad feeling all evening. The sensation grew legs…a body…and became Leo. Everyone warned me, but I just wouldn’t listen.
“I’ve missed you, Rachel. Tell me that you’ve missed me,” he said coaxingly.
What was I supposed to do? Feed him lies?
The gun clicked.
Lies should work. “Of course, I missed you.”
“Then come over here.”
Somehow, my feet traveled the short distance as my heart pounded in my ears. Images of my life flashed before my eyes. Surely, that wasn’t how I would die.
Leo’s free hand wrapped around my wrist and tugged me forward, and I landed in his lap. My blood ran cold when he stroked my bare leg with the gun barrel.
“I’m sorry we fought,” he said.
Fought? What happened earlier was not a fight.
My gut said to agree.
“Good.” He paused for a beat or two. “Stop trembling, sweetheart. I’m just going to love on you. We’ll ride out this storm together.”
“O-okay.” My pulse lodged in my throat.
The lights flickered overhead for a moment or two. I looked around the living room. Leo wasn’t there. It was a horrible, horrible nightmare.
Right?
Quickly, I returned to my bedroom. Running to my closet, I reached up on the shelf and entered my code for the safe and pulled the door open. My gun was missing.
Not possible.
My breath sawed in and out as I paced the floor. It had to be there. I didn’t remember taking it out of the safe. Sitting on the
bed, I reached for my phone. When I lay back, I felt something hard beneath my pillow. I sat up and pushed it out of the way.
My gun.
When did I move it? Panic swelled inside me, threatening to devour me belly first. Oxygen fled my brain. What the fuck just happened? Did I have a nightmare, or was Leo in my apartment? If it was the latter, how the hell did he get in without me hearing it? Better still, how did he leave?
Thunder sounded in the distance. Something rustled outside my window, and then I saw a shadow. I held my breath, waiting for it to keep going. The figure moved along the side of the building before appearing in the side window. The smell of cigarette smoke drifted through the cracks.
Clutching my gun, I yanked open the blinds. A lanky man dressed in a dark hoodie stood outside the window. He lifted his eyes, and his gaze met mine.
Leo.
I screamed.
∞∞∞
Twenty minutes later, someone knocked on my door. It yawned open as if I had never locked it. Still sitting in the dark, I aimed my gun.
“Rachel!” Matt shouted.
I lowered the weapon and ran over to him. My body shook as he threw his arms around me. “Oh, Matt.”
“I’m here.” He rubbed my back. “Why is the door open?”
Stepping back, I shook my head. “I locked it. I swear I did.”
Matt scowled. “Tell me everything that happened.”
“The power went out,” I started.
“The streetlights are still on.”
“But—”
Matt stormed across the living room and into the kitchen. In a few seconds, the lights came on. “Something tripped the breaker.”
I gripped the gun tighter. “How did you know where the box was?”
He tilted his head. “Rachel, calm down. Remember, I told you that April lived in this building?”
Nodding, I slowly sat down on the sofa. I made sure the safety was on the Glock and then placed it on the coffee table. Matt returned to my open door.
He yelled out, “Rachel, the lock doesn’t look jimmied. Either you forgot to lock it or somebody else has a key.”
I mumbled, “I’m sure I locked it.”
Matt sat beside me. “I don’t want you to stay here alone.”
I couldn’t disagree with him, but it was too late to call Crystal or even my dad. “I’ll have to wait—”
“No, you don’t.” Matt squeezed my hand. “I’m not going anywhere. Tonight, I stay here. In the morning, you either go to Crystal’s or your dad’s. If you can’t stay with them, you’re more than welcome to come to my place.”
13
One Man’s Thoughts
Leo
I never thought an innocent yet casual smile—a simple gesture really—would have left me facing life alone. Again. Why did it seem as if I were doomed to keep repeating my motherfucking past? You’d think I’d learned, but once again, I was drawn to her.
Rachel.
Life with her was supposed to be different. Her kiss—a promise of something lasting—was all the evidence I thought I needed. Without words she told me, repeatedly, that she was still mine.
Always mine.
Not his.
She could never belong to him.
I clung to her unspoken vow of loving me forever and made it my own—to treat Rachel like the queen she deserved to be. No man had done that for her. He certainly wouldn’t.
Our relationship wouldn’t be like the others though. She’d appreciate me and look forward to my affection. I planned to spend endless hours with my angel—talking to her, eating with her, making love to her day and night. I only wanted to share my world with her. It was how it should be.
But none of that would happen. Not unless I proved to her that he was all wrong for her. Again.
She doesn’t want you though. You don’t have a regular job. Your heart is too black for someone so pure.
Rachel gave you a glimpse of her true self. She’s just another woman like Suzanne—selfish, short-sighted…unlovable. Every woman is like that. When will you learn?
No, no, no.
Not true. Not for a moment.
Rachel was nothing like that vindictive bitch. I just moved too fast.
Yeah, that was the problem. I shouldn’t have suggested we move in together. Maybe Rachel was afraid of the commitment. It was too soon—an act of ridiculous desperation.
Patience.
I must be patient with Rachel.
You were tolerable with Suzanne—practically a saint. Remember how that turned out?
Humph. It was true. I gave that woman everything—all the best parts of me. She had my undivided attention along with my unsworn adoration. I would have given her the world—and I tried to, over and over again. But she didn’t treasure what we had. Suzanne abused the privilege. It took me a while to see it, and when I did, it was almost too late. I’d allowed myself to fall for her. Thankfully, reason spoke loudly. I listened and made sure that Suzanne’s trifling words would never be heard again.
I had a second chance with Rachel.
She’d come around—she did before. The woman just required a little encouragement. Someone to aid her in seeing that I was the one she needed in her life, not that overzealous, pompous-ass cop.
She didn’t know him the way I did. No one did. If people knew the man I knew, they’d run for the hills. He was the real danger, not me. He was the one that women questioned—grew afraid of—not me. He was a serious threat. I wouldn’t sit by and let him harm Rachel. He’d gotten away with that shit before, but not again.
I’d eventually educate her. Help her learn about his true inner self. In the meantime, I’d give her a little space. Let Rachel feel what it was like not to have me around. Once she missed me, then she’d accept me. Accept my love.
I wasn’t the one who was wrong. We love who we love when we’re ready for it. Despite the wall that Rachel erected, it wasn’t too soon for us to be together.
Why did every woman want to put boundaries on love? They claimed to want the fairytale experience, but when a happily-ever-after moment fell into their laps, they pushed it away. Suddenly, they were afraid. Sometimes we got what we asked for in life—the good and the bad.
Loving Rachel was something I was meant to do. She’d see that soon enough.
They all would.
14
Moving Day
Rachel
Having Matt nearby was the only way I survived that night. Every creak and bump woke me up. Every imagined twist of a knob sent my heart racing. I spent those waking hours weighing the pros and cons—staying in my apartment versus leaving it. By daybreak, I was sure of my decision. It was time to move back to Dad’s. Once I got set up at his house, I’d work on finding a new place to live—preferably closer to work—in a secure building. I entertained the thought of subletting my current residence. Crystal and Scott might know of a dependable person—preferably male. That way I wouldn’t feel guilty about another innocent woman risking her life in the place.
My hand shook as I disconnected the call. I reached out to my father as soon as I knew he’d be awake—Dad always hit the floor with the rising of the sun.
“What did he say?” Matt sat beside me on the bed and handed me a cup of coffee.
“Naturally, he’s worried.” I had to be honest and tell my father about Leo and his possible threat. “Moving home isn’t even an issue. Dad’s skipping Mass this morning to get the house ready for me.”
Matt nodded. “I’ll help you move whatever you need, and I’ll follow you over.”
“That’s unnecessary.” I let the mug’s heat warm my hands before taking a sip.
“It is. Either you let me do this, or you’re coming home with me.” His phone buzzed, and he stood. “I have to take this. When I’m done, we’ll discuss pressing charges against Leo.”
I watched Matt leave my bedroom. Did I really want the police to step in? It seemed like a drastic move for a misunderstanding. He broke
into your apartment and threatened you with your own gun. I really didn’t want to believe that Leo was a bad person. Confused? Most definitely. Lonely? Possibly. But a deranged psychotic? No. He didn’t show that type of persona to me.
What Leo needed was a woman who was patient and willing to accept his lifestyle. That woman couldn’t be me. I had plans—marriage, kids, a house. If I ever found the right man, I’d want to stay at home and raise our family. With someone like Leo that might not be possible.
Slowly, I placed my cup on the nightstand and rose to my feet. Reaching beneath the bed, I dragged the suitcase from beneath it. Going to my closet, I threw open the doors and surveyed my extensive wardrobe—on hangers and piled on the top shelves. It would take at least an hour just to pack my clothes.
“Oh, good. You’re getting started.”
I jumped.
Matt placed his hand on my shoulder. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“I’ll be okay. Just another reason why I need to leave here.” I stood on my toes, trying to pull down a stack of sweaters.
“Here, let me get that.”
I slid over and Matt grabbed the pile, passing it to me. I set it on the bed and returned for another.
“Do you have any boxes?”
“No.” I’d tossed everything after I moved in. “Look under the kitchen sink. I have trash bags.”
“That’ll do for now. Let’s get all your clothes out. We’ll take them to your dad’s and come back with boxes. Might as well get everything out of here today.”
My eyebrows shot up. “I can’t do it all in one day. There’s a moving van to—”
Matt held up his cell phone. “I’ll contact Scott. Between the two of us, we can do it. We both have pickups.”
He walked out of my room again. A knot formed in my stomach. Was it strange that Matt seemed a little too eager for me to move out?
∞∞∞
Dad opened the door before I could insert my key. He took one look at me and spread his arms wide. When I walked into his embrace, Matt—standing beside me—set my suitcase inside the front door. My father stepped back and gave Matt the once-over.
