by Nadirah Foxx
“The rest of what?” Matt’s voice cracked. His eyes darted around the room.
“You need to get it out before the police show up.” Leo rested a hand on my shoulder. When I tried to move, he squeezed. “She needs to know why you’re a monster not worth loving.”
Matt’s eyes narrowed. “You’re an ass.”
“Thank you,” Leo said. “I work hard at it.”
“Rachel…” Matt sat forward, propping his elbows on his knees. “I didn’t mean to do it.”
My heart stopped. “The girl…”
“No!” He rushed. “Not the girl. I could never do that.” He glanced at Leo before averting his eyes.
Leo said, “No. He’s going to tell you the story of my sister, April.”
36
Confessions
Matt
Not something I was prepared to talk about. Not with anyone—shrink, priest, or even my best friend. The woman I claimed to love definitely didn’t need to know my secret.
Rachel’s mouth opened and closed. Her bulging eyes snapped to me. I knew that look and what it meant. It was the same expression most people had when they learned of April and me—weren’t we related?
Technically, April was just my friend who I grew to love. Yes, she was my foster sister, but we didn’t share blood—thank God. Somehow I had to get Rachel to understand that.
Why would she? Nobody else did.
Truth.
Even April’s parents made their daughter feel dirty for loving me. They should have convinced her to stay away from me, not because of a mythical relationship but because I wasn’t the upstanding kid everyone thought I was.
I’d spent most of my teen years trying to resist my violent tendencies. Truth be told, my problems began in middle school. I’d get into fights for no apparent reason. Social workers and school psychologists suggested that it could be an inherited trait. My foster parents made excuses for me—I didn’t know my father, I was traumatized from finding my mother dead; I was just misunderstood. It was a long list. No matter what I did, the Pattersons only saw the good in me. A lot of people did.
“Rachel, when April and I met, we were just kids. Neither of us learned about Leo’s connection to her until high school.”
“Quit stalling! Tell her, or I will,” Leo ordered.
I took a deep breath. “We fell in love. Actually, I think I cared for her more than she could me. She tried, but back then I had anger issues.”
Rachel gave me a look of disbelief. I couldn’t blame her. My behavior since my arrest had reverted. I was constantly moody or pissed off. My rage affected every facet of my life, even sex with Rachel. We didn’t make love anymore. Instead, I grunted my demands and fucked the hell out of her. I was rough where I should have been gentle. Abusive when I should have spoken words of kindness. Why did she put up with it? I’d never know. According to the so-called experts, my shitty actions were a twisted means of pushing Rachel away. Deep down, I knew what I was doing—I was trying to save her from a monster.
“Do it,” my brother pushed.
“It was an accident. An unfortunate event,” I began. “Before the news, April and I were trying to be a couple.”
Rachel’s eyebrows knitted together.
My shoulders hunched as she scrutinized me. I placed a hand on my stomach and focused on the floor. “We were each other’s firsts.”
Leo cracked his knuckles—a terrible habit indicative of his impatience—but I didn’t look up.
“I assumed we were happy. She dated no one else that I knew of. We dreamed of a future together. When we both were accepted to Michigan State, we saw it as a chance to finally be free to love each other.”
My half-brother interrupted, “Nobody wants to hear—”
I balled my fists and glared at him. “Shut the fuck up, Leon!”
Rachel gasped.
Looking away from Leo, I said, “I’m sorry. You have to know everything.”
Slowly, she nodded.
I continued, “For some unknown reason April accepted my flaws. The closer we got… Let’s just say I had violent tendencies.”
“No, we won’t just say that,” Leo interjected. “He beat the shit out of her. I didn’t live with the Pattersons anymore, but I kept an eye on my sister. Contrary to Matt’s viewpoint, April wasn’t afraid of me. When we learned that we had the same father, she made an effort to get to know me.”
My jaw dropped. It was something I didn’t know.
Leo kept right on talking without acknowledging me. “We used to meet for a slice of pizza, burgers, shit like that. One day she showed up, and I saw the bruises on her wrist. April tried to cover for your motherfucking ass. I wanted to kill you, but she convinced me not to hurt you. She actually cared about you.”
“I can admit it now. I didn’t treat her the way I should have.”
“Understatement,” Leo mumbled.
Rachel sighed. “What happened to April?”
It was time to reveal my unfortunate truth.
I arrived at April’s apartment happier than I’d been in a long time. In my jacket pocket was a black box. Things had been good between us, and I was ready to pop the question.
My joy slipped out of place when April opened the door. Her eyes were red, and her skin pale.
“What’s wrong?” I tried to pull her in for an embrace, but she shirked away.
“Don’t touch me,” she muttered.
I was confused. I’d done nothing to her in months. “April?”
“I’m…” She shook her head. “What do you want?”
Smiling, I grasped her hand. “Baby, you make me so happy. I know it’s a little soon, but I’m sure of my love for you. Marry me.”
April yanked her hand away. Tears filled her eyes. “We can’t.”
“Why not?” Her words irritated me.
“You know why. It wouldn’t be right.” She walked away from me and stood next to the custom-made marble coffee table.
I knew what she was insinuating. Just a week before, her father confessed to April that Leo was her half-brother. I told her that it didn’t matter. We weren’t related. Her mother pushed the issue. Told her only child that we were family. They’d raised me as their own son. Plus, it wouldn’t look right to others.
I didn’t give a fuck what others thought. My heart belonged to April. She was my future—the only woman I wanted. My plan was for us to go off to State engaged. We’d get a place together. Life would be good.
“We argued about the situation,” I said. “I just couldn’t get April to see my point.”
“You should go, Matt.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you wear my ring,” I said, stepping closer.
April backed away from me. I grabbed her arms but stopped myself from shaking her.
“Marry me, April. I love you.”
She shook her head. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Where did that shit come from?” My rage increased.
“Leon said…”
Wrong words. I shook her.
“I shook April so hard. She screamed for me to stop. When I did, I blindly shoved her away from me and ran for the door.” My voice cracked.
Leo yelled, “You asshole! You didn’t stick around to see what you did!”
Rachel glanced up at him. “What happened?”
“I was outside the apartment. I was going to check in on April when I saw Matt rush out of the building. Curiosity got me, so I followed him. He went to a bar on Woodward—the same one you met him at. I confronted him. Asked what the fucking hurry was.” Leo paused for a beat or two.
I remembered all of it. Every sick detail. Hearing it again—even from my lips—disgusted me.
“When the fucker wouldn’t tell me, I tried calling April. She didn’t answer. She couldn’t. I left the bar.” Leo pointed at me. “That bastard didn’t even bother coming with me. I-I got there too late.”
Rachel deserved to hear it from me. “The me
dical examiner said April died from blunt force trauma. She hit her head on the table.” I exhaled. “There was bleeding in her brain. The ME said death happened from brain stem herniation.”
“No,” Rachel whispered.
I held up my palm. “It was bad enough to learn that my actions caused her death. What April wanted to tell me was…”
The words escaped me. It was the reason why I’d had the vasectomy.
Leo, however, had no problem saying what I couldn’t. “Matt knocked April up. I offered to be with her for the abortion.”
“I didn’t learn of the pregnancy until later. The Pattersons contacted me with the news of April’s death. They told me about the baby. Mr. Patterson was sympathetic, but his wife… Oh, that woman hated me. She said if I ever came around her family again, she’d kill me. I believed her.”
“But you said…” Rachel scratched her head. “You told me that you saw your foster family every Sunday.”
“A lie,” Leo said.
“No.” Rachel clutched her stomach. “Matt you said that you proposed and April accepted.”
“Another lie. You see, my brother is the consummate liar. It’s a skill he inherited from our whore of a mother.”
My head whipped up. “She was not a whore!”
An eerie grin lifted Leo’s lips. “Time for a little more enlightenment. You want to know why April’s mother said your relationship was wrong?”
My heart rate kicked up a notch as a tendril of panic seized my chest.
“Maybe Rachel wants to know?” Leo glanced at her before closing the distance between us. He crouched down and looked into my eyes. “Turns out Mr. Patterson had a serious addiction to mommy dearest. Instead of leaving her alone after getting her pregnant with me, he sniffed around her ass like the fucking dog he was.”
“Not true,” I mumbled.
Leo’s eyebrow lifted. “The man who kicked Mom’s ass each day? Her pimp. She lived with him. Led him to believe that you were his kid. Truth is we’re not half-brothers. The three of us—April, you, and me—are all the offspring of Allen Patterson.”
Bile rose up my throat as reality set in. Leo and I were full brothers while April was our half-sister. My brother rose to his feet and held out a trash can. I puked my guts out, but I wasn’t the only one disgusted. Rachel ran into the kitchen and vomited into the sink.
Leo laughed. “I’d love to stick around, little brother, but your ride is here.”
I hadn’t noticed the headlights shining in the front window. Someone banged on the door. My brother headed to the rear exit, leaving me behind with my guilt, my shame, and the woman who probably hated me more than I hated myself.
37
Chaos Causing Lies
Rachel
The pounding at the door mirrored my heart beating fervently in my chest. Leo’s and Matt’s lives went beyond the dramatic shit I’d seen on TV. Frankly, I didn’t think even a bestselling author could craft such a fantastical piece of fiction.
Matt’s confession… Leo’s words… Those things were enough to drive a sane person crazy. My heart went out to their poor, poor sister. Did she know that Matt was her brother? Was that her final thought as she died alone? Then I thought about how Matt had treated me over the past few days. If I stuck around, would I endure a similar fate?
Lowering my head, I rubbed for my temples. Was there any semblance of logic in their tale?
Leo and Matt were brothers, not foster siblings or even half-brothers. I couldn’t get past the fact that Matt and April fell in love and had sex. Siblings! Was that why she hesitated when he proposed?
Wood splintered, and the next few minutes was like an action movie. Heavy footfalls collided with the floor. People shouted, but I couldn’t make out the words. Someone grabbed my elbow and forced me to my feet. I dragged my gaze up, hoping it was all a nightmare or an unfortunate delusion.
Scott stood in front of me with his lips moving. I didn’t hear him. My mind focused on the cop holding Matt on the ground. Someone slapped a pair of handcuffs on the man I thought I knew. He glanced in my direction. Sadness shone in his dark eyes as they tugged him toward the door.
“Rachel?”
The fog cleared, and I recognized my name.
“Rachel, can you hear me?” It was Scott.
I didn’t trust my voice. All I could do was nod as the tears rolled down my face. My knees buckled. The last thing I saw was the cop leading Matt outside.
∞∞∞
Hours later, I woke up in a sterile room. White walls assaulted my eyes while pungent disinfectant wrinkled my nose. Someone called for a doctor over an intercom system, and I knew I was in a hospital. A police officer stood guard at the door while Dad, staring into the distance, sat beside the bed. Deep circles cast shadows beneath his eyes, and he appeared much older—disheartened too.
How long had I been out?
“What happened?” I asked in a raspy voice.
Dad jumped and grasped my hand. “Thank God, you’re awake. You had me worried.”
Not my intent.
“Why am I here?”
“The police brought you in after you passed out. What happened to you, sunshine?”
Oh, hell. The memory rushed back, reminding me that it wasn’t a bad dream. Unfortunately, it was still the stuff of nightmares.
“Nobody hurt me,” I mumbled. “Where’s Matt?”
“Where he should be,” Dad said angrily.
That meant jail. Yes, he had to be punished for his crime. But was he the only one who should be incarcerated? In my opinion, it was their father and stepmother who should have shouldered the blame. Who would see to their penalization?
Shaking my head, I said, “You don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to me.”
Before I could, the door swung open and Scott entered. “Great. You’re awake. If you’re up to it, I have a few questions.”
Dad snapped and said over his shoulder, “Now? She just woke up!”
“It’s okay, Dad.” I looked over at Scott. “I’ll tell you whatever I can.”
Scott asked for my permission to record the interrogation, and I gave it. For the next thirty minutes, I told my tale—starting with meeting Leo at my apartment and ending with the revelations at the cabin. Several times Dad gasped while Scott kept moving his head side to side.
Finally, he asked, “What happened to Leo?”
I had my suspicions but wasn’t ready to share them. There would be time to go after Leo. If it was the last thing I did, I’d make sure he paid for his crimes.
“No idea,” I admitted. “He left when the cops arrived.” Then, I remembered. “Leo is armed. He’s the one who took Matt’s gun.”
Scott scribbled something on his pad.
Thankfully, Dad’s phone rang, and he excused himself. Perfect timing.
Scott closed his notepad and pushed to his feet. “I think I have all I need for now.”
“Wait a minute,” I said.
“What is it?”
“How is Matt?” I knew I shouldn’t be concerned about him, but I couldn’t help it. Honestly, I had developed feelings for the man.
Scott sat back down. “Devastated.” He blew air through his cheeks. “Whatever you might think of Matt, realize that he didn’t know the truth about April.”
“Why didn’t his father tell him? If he had, none of this would’ve happened.”
“I wish I had the answer. Trust me, Rachel, you’re not the only one with questions.” Scott scrubbed a hand over his face. “Matt told me years ago that he and Leo were half-brothers. Maybe deep down, he sensed the relationship was more.”
My brow furrowed. “Why would you say that?”
“Matt always made excuses for his brother. The man went out of his way trying to love Leo. Matt once said that the two of them should have been closer because of their mother.”
“You didn’t agree?”
Scott scowled. “Hell no. When I met Leo, he was an ass—ev
en as a teen. I hated the guy. Tried to tell Matt to leave him alone, but Matt wouldn’t listen. He just kept telling me that he had to look out for him.”
“Well, that makes no sense. If he didn’t know they were full-blood brothers—”
“Apparently, the social worker told Matt that it was his duty to look out for Leo. Matt said the man told him that brothers, even half-brothers, take care of each other.”
“Wow.” It was all I could say. I had too many questions, but unlike Scott I had to have an explanation. For everything.
∞∞∞
Dad wanted me to rest after we returned from the hospital, but sleep would have to wait. Instead of shutting my eyes, I sent him on a bogus errand to purchase ingredients for homemade soup. As soon as he pulled out of the driveway, I called Crystal.
“Are you okay, girl? Scott told me what happened. I can’t believe—”
“Crystal, I’m fine, but I need your help.”
“Anything.”
“Can you look up some info for me?” Crystal was a social worker. “I need to see the records on Matt and Leo.”
“Rachel.” Her voice became terse.
“If you won’t do it, I’ll find another way.”
After a long moment of silence, Crystal said, “What exactly are you looking for?”
“Anything you can find on their birth mother and Allen Patterson. Relatives would be helpful too.”
Crystal sighed. “Dredging up ancient history won’t do anyone any good.”
“You’re wrong. If someone had brought up their history years ago, Matt and Leo might not have gone through this shit.”
∞∞∞
It took Crystal a few days before she contacted me. We met at a coffee shop in Midtown.
“Thanks for coming,” I said. Dad didn’t want to hear another word about Matt or Leo. Talking about them at the house would have caused major problems.
Crystal slid the folder across the table. “You’re lucky I love you.” She slammed her hand on top before I could open the file. “Warning. You won’t like what you read.”
“What do you mean?” I wasn’t expecting anyone to wave a magic wand and make the facts disappear.
