"You lost it again. And you scared the hell out of me!" he exclaimed and then forced himself to calm down, letting his heart rate slow down once more. "I am going to leave the room so you can rinse that out of your hair and then get dressed. If you are not out of the bathroom in ten minutes I will assume something is wrong and I will come back again."
Alexis looked at him and nodded, not sure which of the many feelings that were running through her, she should focus on and accept as the most important.
Slowly she let the water out of the bath and turned on the separate shower to rinse the conditioner out and wash away the soapy feeling on her skin, before drying off and dressing into her clean clothing.
She scooped up her dirty clothes and went to find him.
He was sitting in the lounge on the sofa, leaning forward with his head in his hands.
"Where is the washing machine?" he heard her ask and he laughed. Of all the things that had been running through his mind - all the things she could have come out and said to him - she wanted the washing machine?
He stood up and walked in front of her.
"Follow me," he said firmly and she followed immediately. When they reached the laundry she put her clothing into the machine, along with the laundry power, and took her time figuring out how to start it, before finally she turned and actually looked at him.
He was very pale - almost white, she noticed - and she immediately felt guilty and responsible for whatever he was feeling.
"I'm sorry," she said timidly, and he could see tears start to come to her eyes.
Not caring about how she would feel about it - perhaps needing it as much for himself, as to comfort her - he moved forward and put his arms around her, pulling her to him tightly, and held her there for a long time. She responded slowly, letting herself move her arms around him, but did not hug him tight, as he was doing to her. She breathed in and noticed that he didn't smell the same as him - the only similarity at all between the two men who were occupying her mind, was the voice. If she could just keep looking at Anthony - and smelling him - that should be enough to stop it from happening again. She was sure of it.
"Allie, you really shouldn't travel like this - not alone," he said softly as he pulled back and away from her, looking at her closely to make sure she was present and listening, while the washing machine did its magic noisily in the background.
"I know. I am worried about it," she admitted, wanting to naturally hang her head low but terrified of letting her eyes move away from his face. "But I have to keep moving … I'm not yet far enough away to feel … safe."
"But you aren't going to be safe if you are out in the world, if that happens to you again. If you cross paths with the wrong person…" he started to say and felt a shudder go through his body at the thought. "Will you please come and sit down with me, and tell me what is going on with you?" he asked softly and after looking into his eyes for a long time, finally she nodded. "Okay, this washing won't take long so I will hang it out and then I will make us some coffee - and we will sit in the lounge. Okay?"
Alexis nodded at him again, feeling safe in his presence but also terrified of these 'moments' that kept happening.
Finally they settled on the sofa together, at a comfortable distance from each other, and both turned on an angle so they could face one another. Once comfortable, Alexis took a deep breath and began talking. It was 11am when she started. It was 3pm when she finished.
Anthony looked at her - stared at her - as she talked and told him about all that had happened in her life to date. Where she grew up, the people she faintly remembered as her parents. But mostly about what had been happening in her life over the past few years.
As he listened he was taken on a journey that pulled him through emotions like movies did when he needed escapism. At some points he felt grave, at other points he felt frustrated, and at other points still he felt tears come to his eyes … but the emotion he found flowed through him mostly as she talked, was anger. And everything she said - all the words she used - she said in a matter-of-fact manner, with absolutely no emotion whatsoever attached to the words. It was like she had just accepted that everything she had done - everything she'd had to do - over the last few years, was just normal behaviour and nothing bad, or good, or pleasant, or sad. It looked to him like she just regarded it all simply as … is. To her it was what it was, and there was nothing more to it. To her it seemed almost … normal.
Alexis found some strength inside of her start to resurrect as she talked. She had planned to never talk to anyone about anything that had happened to her - that she had done - over recent years, but she found him kind and generous, and his manner worked on her, making her feel safe with him, and like he could be trusted. And it felt good to get things out of her head. It was like one secret had been layered on top of another, and another … and as she talked she felt like the layers within were lifting up and off her.
"I think it is your voice that … does that to me," she said, startling him. "Your voice is very similar. And I know it doesn't explain why I do what I do, but I can see - hear - that is a similarity you have with him."
"Maybe, Allie, but I wasn't in the bathroom with you when you changed, so it can't be just my voice. There must be other triggers, and if you don't know what they are…"
They both went silent then, each individually wondering how to deal with this strange thing that happened to Alexis at those times, seemingly without any warning that it was going to happen.
"I need cake," Anthony said all of a sudden, leaping up and walking from the room, leaving Alexis sitting there, wondering what he must think of her now. Soon he was back with the tray, that he put down on the coffee table, and served small broken pieces of his 'suffered' cake on individual plates with forks, and handed one to her.
Alexis took the food gratefully, not sure whether she had any further conversation left in her. She realised, as she ate, that she could not remember ever having spoken to anyone for this amount of time - ever. When she asked herself why that might be, the reply that came back to her - from her own mind - was simply … because no-one else has ever wanted to listen. And when she had that thought she really looked at the man sitting with her, and realised he must be some kind of saviour for her. No-one like him had ever came into her life before. There had been people who initially seemed kind, and generous - and interested in her life - but over a very short period of time had proven they weren't the same people they had initially presented at all, and they did not have any real interest in really getting to know her as a person. Always, people just wanted to take. To them she was someone who could give them what they wanted - what they needed. She was never supposed to need - or want - anything in return.
Anthony felt her looking at him and raised his eyes to meet her gaze. She looked intent, and he had a brief moment of horror as he thought she was going to 'go' again. But she must have seen it, as her face changed as if it woke up and saw his horror.
"This cake is really good. It does look like it had a serious accident today," she said, laughing softly, "but it still does taste really good."
"It was a painful thing that it went through this morning, but it is a survivor and it still gets to live its life and give us pleasure in its taste," he said, half with humour and half in thinking that Alexis was also that - a survivor who didn't seem to know it yet, but could give pleasure to others by being the person that she was, if only she could harness how to stay that person consistently.
"Allie, what are you going to do? Are you sure that you need to move on so quickly? You can stay here as long as you want…"
"Thank you, Anthony, but I do need to keep moving. I don't know where I am going, or where I shall end up, but sitting still like this makes me nervous. And this town is too small - if questions get asked, someone will have noticed me. Maybe not right now, since I am inside your house, but I could not hide out here all day, every day," she said and paused before continuing. "No, I need to get somewhere mo
re populated. When I find that, I should feel more secure, I am sure."
"Okay, then. But at least let me accompany you through to your next destination. I have to work tomorrow morning but then I have three days off before I go back to work. I can go and pick up a ticket this afternoon for the train you are on tomorrow afternoon, and I can come with you and help you get set up there, just for the first few days at least. Please - I really don't like the thought of you travelling around alone like this."
Alexis looked at him with a mixture of disbelief and gratitude. Disbelief that anyone would ever want to provide her with support and care - and gratitude that she really did believe that he truly did want to do that - he really did want to help her, without needing anything from her in return.
He saw her nod her head even though her face clearly showed her uncertainty. As if she so much wanted to believe that he was sincere, but life experience had taught her to be naturally cautious of people who appeared so.
"Alright, I think I would like that. If you are sure…" she said and he jumped up suddenly before she could change her mind.
"I will run down to the train station now and get a ticket. I will pick up a few food items for the trip too, while I am in town. Then tomorrow we can walk directly from here to the station and straight onto the train," he said and paused. "I will be back here in about an hour. Please pick a movie and put it on - it might help you maintain focus."
And with that he was walking down his path and into the small township, feeling a diverse range of emotions inside of him, but determined to focus on his present tasks.
Inside, Alexis chose a movie and put it on to watch - a futuristic action movie that she knew could in no way be realistic so would not play on her mind too much. She felt her sense of freedom growing - not only through the feeling of safety that she felt being here in this house, but also from the hours of speaking. It was like letting things that had been buried deep inside of her, finally lift up, out and away from her. Like a heavy tumour had been cut out of the centre of her, and finally her body and mind could start to shrink back down to normal size once again. Finally her body and her mind could start to be hers again.
Anthony rushed around as quickly as he could, whilst at the same time trying not to seem like he was. Even he now, having heard her story, had started to wonder if she had a real situation to worry about - someone coming after her - or if it was just a deep paranoia over nothing. But with the careful nature that he had, he chose to act as if she might be right - that someone might indeed be searching for her, and that it might be best if that someone didn't find her.
When he walked back into his home he did so with a small amount of dread over what he might find, but walking into the lounge he found her engrossed in a movie, looking the most relaxed he had seen her since he had met her. She turned when she heard him, and smiled, and for the moment it seemed like the most normal thing in the world for her to do, and for him to see.
He came and sat back down on the sofa near her once more, putting a bag of groceries on the coffee table in front of them.
"I got a ticket, and I got a load of snack-type foods for tomorrow's journey. I will bring home some fresh baked goods from work in the morning, too," he said, still looking at her to make sure she was okay.
"Thank you for doing so much for me," she replied quietly and he turned to look at the screen, directing her eyes back there also, for the last half hour of the movie.
When it had finished and the credits started rolling, she picked up the TV remote and switched the movie off, making the TV automatically switch over to regular television. As that happened, both Alexis and Anthony let out shrieks of disbelief as a photo of her appeared on the screen in front of them. It was a news item, they realised, and Anthony turned it up so there was no missing whatever was being said.
'Police in Melbourne are calling for help from the public in what they believe may be a case of abduction. A young woman, Lexi Jane Montgomery, has been missing since Friday night, having been reported as such by an anonymous call to the central Melbourne police station. Entrepreneur business tycoon, Lincoln Kokiri, has put up $50,000 as reward to anyone who can provide information relating to her disappearance. When Mr Kokiri was asked why he had ventured to put up such a large amount to find the missing person, he simply said that he abhorred anyone who would snatch someone off the street, and he believes it is time for people like him - those who have the money to do so - to be stepping up and contributing to causes such as this,' the reporter said, as the photo of Alexis once again appeared on the screen. 'Anyone who has seen Ms Montgomery is encouraged to talk to their local police station immediately.'
Anthony turned the television off quickly, and then turned to her. The photo of her that had been shown had been different - in it she had been smiling and really alive - and much healthier looking - with an air about her that said she was much more easy going, without a care in the world. And she had looked young - much younger than she did now. But it was definitely her. He had no doubt about that.
When he looked at her closely, he saw that his thinking was right. It was definitely her that the police were calling for sightings of.
"Oh, Allie," he seemed to breathe out slowly and deeply as he looked at her face, seeing her go almost white as she too processed what they had just seen. He didn't mention the difference of her name - she had wanted to be called Allie, so he would make sure he kept calling her that.
Alexis closed her eyes and felt the wall of tears really start to break. There was no hope now - he had made sure she could not get away so easily. She had thought he would try and find her - in that, she had greatly considered the extreme lengths he might go to - but even she had not thought that he would make sure her face was on the television, for everyone to see. Making it impossible for her to go anywhere in public - impossible to simply walk down a street, or go to a supermarket to buy food - without someone recognising her and reporting her location to police.
As tears flowed freely, another level of emotion washed over her - another level of desperation over how she might never again be able to lead a normal life. A small part of her felt like she should remove herself quickly from where she was, and go and cry in peace in the bedroom, but a greater part of her was resigned to just not care anymore.
Seeing her start to deflate once again, Anthony moved closer to her and held out his arms - not wanting to cause stress in her but making sure she knew he was there for her - and soon he felt her move closer to him and let herself be enclosed. She embraced the feeling of being so close to someone, without them needing anything from her. He was a man, and he was holding her, but although it was natural for Alexis to assume a man would only touch her in one way - sexually and for pain - she did concede to herself that Anthony had not done anything in their short time together so far, to indicate that he even recognised she was a woman, let alone that he was going to try to get her to be sexual with him.
Anthony held her firmly but not too tightly, letting her set the closeness, and the time when she would pull away from him. In his head he kept seeing the news report playing, over and over, and knew now that she wasn't delusional in her paranoia. But he also found focus on the name of the donor of the reward money - Lincoln Kokiri. Where had he heard that name before? He repeated the name in his head, flicking through the archives in his mind - different places he'd been, different jobs he'd had, different movies and television programs he had watched - trying to find the name, sure it was filed away in there somewhere.
Finally he remembered - Lincoln Kokiri was the owner of the supermarket that Anthony worked at. Not the specific supermarket branch - but the whole company. He was at the very top of the food chain. And not just the owner of that supermarket chain either - his company had major fast food brands and department stores under their umbrella also. If memory served Anthony right, he wasn't a young man - perhaps in his mid 40s - and he had inherited the company from his own father when Lincoln had only been in his 2
0s. He remembered reading that it had been a small company when it had passed hands, but with an entrepreneurial spirit the son had since grown it into an empire.
Anthony sat still as he held Alexis, just thinking to himself that it was really nice for someone like that to put up a reward for information about someone he didn't even know … he must be a really nice person…
Unless he did know her…
Unless…
Alexis felt the body wrapped around her tense up and go rigid, as Anthony inhaled and held his breath to stop any of his thoughts from being voiced. She hadn't said who the man was that she had spoken of - not even his first name - so he assumed she did not want to say - and therefore he would not ask her. He had to put that possibility in the back of his mind and just keep quiet.
"Are you alright, Anthony?" Alexis asked, lifting her head to look at him with curiosity. He immediately placed his hand gently on her hair and guided her head back onto his chest.
"Yes, just relax. We will work all of this out, Allie. Don't worry."
3 ~ THE DISCOVERY
48 Hours Earlier - 5pm Friday
Lincoln sat in the meeting room, trying to focus on the conversation and negotiations going on around him. He knew that deep within, his heart was not in it today, but he had an extremely deep seated work ethic inside of him - something that had been literally beaten into him by his father when he was young.
Letting his mind wander from the discussions, he took a moment to think about his father, both as a man and as a father. As a man he could win the hearts of anyone and everyone - even as a child Lincoln was aware of the many women who passed through his father's bed, despite the picture being presented to the world - that of his father being deeply in love with Lincoln's mother. She had died when Lincoln was too young to have yet gained an understanding or curiosity about who his mother was as a person - away from being a mother and a wife - but he had not been too young to see the pain his father caused her. And that had made him determined, from a very early age, to never treat women the way that his father had treated her. In his child mind he vowed to himself that he would never be disrespectful toward someone he loved, and he would never be dishonest or disloyal. When he grew up and found someone to love, he would be completely faithful and he would be their world - their all. He would do whatever it took to make sure they knew he only wanted to be with them - no-one else. He would shower them in love and - if possible - money and gifts. He would make them see that they had someone who was devoted to them, and them alone. It was one of his greatest lifelong plans, and in his child mind he would never deviate from it.
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