by K. V. Rose
“He’s not okay,” Riley finally says.
My heart stutters in my chest. “What?” I ask, frowning. What exactly does that mean? I’d argue Benji hasn’t been okay for a while but I don’t think that’s what she means.
In the background, I hear him laughing. Manically.
“What’s going on?”
“Can you come to my place?” she sounds frantic, but also apologetic. “He’s high...and...I dunno. I think it’d be better if you were here.”
For fuck’s sake. I glance at Tess, who is still eyeing me as she walks slowly for her warmup on the treadmill.
I don’t want to go. But for Riley’s sake...I don’t think she has anyone else she can call.
“I’ll be right there.”
When Riley lets me inside her condo, her face is pale and she’s wringing her hands.
“I’m so sorry,” she says as she shuts and locks the door behind me, “but he’s been asking for you and…I’ve never seen him like this.”
I can hear him laughing from somewhere deeper inside her condo and I follow her through the foyer, into the living room, where the laughter grows louder.
“Avaaaa,” Benji’s voice calls out to me, “Avaaaaa.” Then he bursts into laughter all over again.
We walk down the hall, past the living room, and there he is, sitting on his ass, back against the wall, grinning at nothing and no one. He doesn’t even look up when we come into view. He’s tried to stretch out his legs, but the hall is too narrow for him, and he just looks like a giant kid.
I glance at Riley, beside me. “Just weed?” I ask. I can smell it in here, although I don’t see a joint in Benji’s hand, which must mean Riley took it from him.
Riley shakes her head and closes her eyes tight a second before she opens them again, looking at Benji, who still doesn’t turn toward us.
“No,” she admits. “We had a few drinks. He had rum. He got really…angry.” She swallows. “But I know he’s also taking Xanax, too. And then he just…” She gestures to the floor, trailing off.
“What?” I hiss, looking back at Benji. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but at the same time, why the hell would he mix so many things at once? I mean, I’ve done it before, but only when I was being a complete dumbass, not because a girl I barely knew wouldn’t get on a flight with me to another country.
“He’s got a prescription,” Riley hurries along, as if that makes it all better. “But I think…” I see her wrap her arms around herself, “I think he takes too many.” She has on a hoodie, her thumbs through the thumbholes, and jeans. Her eyes are kind of glassy and I wonder how much she’s drank.
I nod. “Got it.” I squat down beside Benji, putting my hand gently on his shoulder, remembering what happened when I did that before, when he was having some sort of meltdown at his place. We ended up having sex after that, and never talked about it. Probably his intention.
“Benji,” I say quietly.
He turns his head toward me, his pupils dilated, eyes unfocused. But then he seems to actually see me, and his brows shoot up as he leans toward me.
“Ava?” he asks softly. He reaches a finger out to my face, caressing my cheek.
“Benji,” I say again, “are you okay?”
His full lips curl into a smile and his finger trails lower, to my throat. I’m wearing a tank top beneath a light jacket, and black yoga pants. I sit on my butt beside him, let his finger rest on my throat. He’s got a thing for throats, this guy.
“Ava,” he says again, but it’s not a question this time. And then his fingers shift to the back of my head, and he yanks me toward him, his lips crashing into mine. I’m vaguely aware that Riley is gasping behind me, but even still, for a second, I give into his kiss. He tastes like rum and marijuana and when his tongue shoves its way into my mouth, I don’t stop him.
Until I do.
I pull back, forcefully, and take his hand in mine. “Benji, why don’t we go lie down?”
His dark brows pull together and he’s actually pouting. And it’s actually…cute. Even though he’s clearly fucked up, and not okay. He shakes his head, and tries to pull his hand from mine, but I don’t let him.
“I want you,” he whispers, that child-like appearance gone. “I want you, Princess.”
I smile at him, thankful he won’t remember this conversation in the morning and thankful, too, that he doesn’t know how it’s pulling at my heart. “Let’s go lie down?” I ask again.
His shoulders shake, and for a split second, I think he might be having a seizure and I’m about to scream for Riley to call 911, but then he turns his head from me, and proceeds to vomit all over the carpet at his side.
“Oh my God,” Riley cries out, and I think it’s because, well, this idiot just threw up all over her carpet, but then I see why she said it like that.
His vomit is…black.
“Oh my God,” I echo Riley, hand still clutching Benji’s. He keeps vomiting and I turn to look up at her. “Call 911.”
Her eyes are glued to Benji and she doesn’t move. He vomits again and I feel like I’m going to be sick. I clamp one hand over my mouth, trying to swallow back the bile rising in my throat.
But then Riley forces herself to look at me after I manage to call out her name.
“I can’t,” she whispers, swallowing. “He…he won’t let me. He won’t be safe.”
I stand to my feet, letting Benji’s hand fall to the ground. I turn my back on him once I see him lean his head back against the wall, eyes closed, black vomit trailing down his mouth.
“Riley, he’s bleeding. Internally. That’s what that means,” I tell her.
“You don’t know that,” she counters, but not as if she’s accusing me. As if she doesn’t want it to be true.
To be fair, I don’t really know if it is true, but…I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket and Riley snatches it from my hands.
I glare at her, my heart racing. I can smell the vomit now and I wrinkle my nose, glance back at Benji. He’s still breathing. I see his chest rising and falling beneath his black t-shirt. But he needs help.
“Riley.”
But Riley just squeezes my phone tighter in her hand. “No,” she says, adamant. “He made me promise I wouldn’t. No matter what.”
I look back at Benji, long lashes nearly grazing his cheekbones as he sleeps. Riley is being stupid. They’re both being stupid, him making her promise that. But I know Benji does bad shit. I just haven’t wanted to know how bad.
I look back at her. “Okay,” I finally say, slowly, nodding. I see her shoulders sag. She didn’t want to fight me on this, but she wants to be loyal to Benji. To keep him out of trouble. “But you’re going to help me move him, get him cleaned up, and we’re not leaving his side until he wakes up, got it?”
She nods, hands my phone back to me.
And then we get to work.
I don’t sleep.
Benji snores softly, naked save for his boxers. We’re in Riley’s bed, he’s in between us. It would feel weird, except for the fact that I’m too anxious to feel anything but anxiety.
I see Riley’s eyes on the ceiling, even as the sun begins to rise beyond her black out curtains, a hint of light seeping through. She gave me a white t-shirt to change into, exactly like hers. I don’t know where it’s from, but probably Wal-Mart, if I had to guess. It’s a little tight, but it was better than sleeping in my workout clothes, so I didn’t complain.
We weren’t able to get all the stains up out of the carpet, but Riley said she’d call someone for that. I asked her if she told Caden what happened. She shot me a look that told me all I needed to know.
Caden is just as much of an asshole as Benji. Of course she didn’t tell him.
I don’t let myself think about the fact that Benji has fucked both of us.
But when he wakes up, well, it’s impossible not to think about.
He yawns, loudly, stretching, and then slowly, his eyes flutter open, emerald green lined wi
th red. He’s facing me, and he blinks, his lips tugging into a frown, as if he’s confused. Which, no shit. He probably blacked out last night.
“Ava?” he whispers, one hand tucked under his head, the other on the sheet between us. I keep my eyes on his and don’t let them linger over his biceps, his forearms. His tattoos.
Focus, you idiot.
“And Riley,” I say quietly.
He frowns, then turns over, and I hear his sharp intake of breath when he sees Riley.
“What’re you doing in here, Little Girl?” he asks her.
Something in my stomach clenches at that nickname. I try to shove down the jealousy. It’s stupid. Irrational.
Benji lays on his back, stacks his pillows under his head so he can gaze down at both of us. He’s got a stupid smile on his face and I see Riley roll her eyes.
“Wow,” Benji says, his voice hoarse. He coughs, clearing his throat. “I sure as hell didn’t expect to wake up in heaven this morning.”
Riley punches him lightly on the arm. “You idiot.”
He laughs, and the easy way they are with each other…I almost feel as if I should excuse myself from this bed. But fuck that. Riley called me, because he was asking for me.
“How’re you feeling?” I ask him.
He wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to his warm body. I let him.
“Okay, thanks to you two, I suppose?”
Riley sighs. “You ruined my carpet.”
Benji cocks his head to the side, looking over at her. “Huh?”
“You threw up. Black,” I tell him, quickly filling him in. “And you’ve got a pill problem,” I finish with.
I feel the arm around my shoulder tighten, but he’s looking at Riley. “You told her,” he says, accusingly.
She sits up, glaring over at him, pointing a finger in his chest. Her eyes are puffy. “Someone needed to. You should be thanking me.”
He catches her finger with his free hand, yanking her forward. I realize I’m holding my breath.
“Thank you,” he finally says, his face inches from hers, her hair grazing his chest.
He looks at me, still with Riley’s finger in his grip. “And you,” he whispers to me.
I swallow. Hard. “I thought you might not wake up,” I admit, still angry, but also…relieved. My hand trails down his six pack. “You need to deal with your demons, Benji.”
He sits up, letting Riley go, and he leans back against the headboard, pulling me with him. My head is still on his shoulder, hand still on his abdomen.
“Well if I can wake up every morning with two angels in my bed, I should be able to deal with them just fine.” He shrugs, eyes lazily drifting over me and the white t-shirt I’m wearing. I know he can see my nipples harden, straining against the thin fabric of the shirt. Fuck’s sake.
And I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, but I say, “You just want to wake up with us?” I trail my finger lower, down to his hips, hands skimming the fabric of his boxers. “Or…” I look at Riley and see she’s watching me, her green eyes wide. She’s still sitting up, facing Benji, her hair still grazing his chest because it’s so damn long.
“Or what?” Benji asks quietly. I glance up at him, see his eyes darting from me, to her.
I pick up his hand, the one not around me, and put it on Riley’s hair. She doesn’t move, just watches.
Benji shifts his gaze to her, twirling her hair around his finger. Slowly, he lets her hair fall, then reaches for her arm, caressing it. She shivers under his touch, her lips parted.
“Caden will kill me,” he says quietly, to both of us.
I run my hand lower, over his hard cock. Warmth spools in my core and I’ve never had a threesome before, but there’s a first time for everything, right?
Riley lets out a little laugh. “Maybe,” she admits.
I rub my hand up and down Benji, over his boxers, and hear his sharp intake of breath. His fingers dig into my shoulder and I see his hand clamp down on Riley’s arm.
“We shouldn’t do this,” he says, looking from me to Riley.
Riley leans forward, her hair falling in her face. But I see her lips go to Benji’s forehead. She presses a soft kiss against him, then leans back, his hand still around her arm.
“We shouldn’t,” she agrees. “But you two should.”
And just as she’s about to turn to go, Benji’s grip on her arm loosening, I hear someone’s voice at the doorway.
“What in the actual fuck are you doing?”
Fifteen
Shoving Caden against the wall while he’s fully dressed and I’m still in my boxers, my dick not quite soft yet, is not how I wanted to spend my morning.
Truth be told, I wanted to spend it banging Ava and his fiancé, so I guess I can’t be too pissed off at him dragging me out of bed and putting his hands on me, but still.
I sigh, dodging his fist.
“Stop, man,” I say.
“Caden,” Riley calls out angrily behind me. “It isn’t what you think.”
Caden’s face contorts with rage, his blue eyes on mine.
Actually, it’s exactly what he thought, except Riley did the right thing and bowed out. Something I didn’t particularly want to happen, but I understood it.
“Hey man, we can all go right now, if you want?” I say as I press my hand against Caden’s chest, dodging another punch. He’s slower than he used to be, thank fuck.
His hands ball into fists at his side and he’s breathing hard under my hand, but at least he’s got his hands down. He bites his lip, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath.
Then his eyes lock on mine. “What happened.”
So I tell him. About me drinking too much with Riley, which he gets pissed off all over again about and that’s fair. But I tell him, too, that Riley was just leaving when he decided to show up.
“Quit fucking taking pills,” he yells at me, his eyes narrowed. I still don’t move my hand from his chest because he looks like he still wants to bash my brains in. “Just fucking quit. And stop fucking drinking while you’re at it, you fucking idiot.”
I cock my head to the side. “Is that all?”
“Caden,” Riley says quietly. I haven’t heard Ava since Caden burst into this room, but she’s somewhere back there. “Caden, it’s okay. Nothing happened.”
Caden’s eyes look past me, to Riley. I see him soften. He deflates under my hand and I let go of him, stepping back. Riley walks past me, puts her arms around his neck.
He doesn’t touch her, but he looks way less pissed.
“Baby girl, he’s not your responsibility.”
Well, that’s true. She’s actually my responsibility, but the thought of leaving Ava had me fucked up. If I had come back here, and Rolland had found her…
I turn around to see her while Riley and Caden work it out.
Ava is leaned against the wall, wearing a white t-shirt and sweatpants, and she looks almost…amused.
“Ready, Princess?” I ask her.
She frowns as I step closer to her.
“I’m not going with you, I already told you.”
I shrug. “I’m not leaving without you, and you almost got me punched in the face, trying to start a threesome like that so damn early in the morning.” I crowd her against the wall, looking down at her beautiful blue eyes. I tilt her chin up with my hand. “You owe me.”
She smirks, trailing a finger down my chest. “I didn’t want a threesome,” she admits quietly. “I just wanted to make you feel good.”
Good God.
My hands go to her waist. “You can do that just fine all by yourself.” I pull her against me and I hear her breath catch. “Come with me,” I plead with her. “We’ll be back before dark. If Caden doesn’t push me off the plane.”
I hear him mutter something to me from across the room, but I ignore him.
“On one condition,” Ava says, bitting her lip, eyeing me up and down.
I press my brow to hers. “Wha
t’s that?” I ask her.
“Throw away that fucking prescription.”
Of course she’d go in for the kill.
Sixteen
When we land at Toronto’s airport, I’m amazed that we have to wait exactly two minutes before we can undo our seatbelts and deboard the plane. Which is at least ten times faster than getting off a commercial plane.
Our pilot, a man with white hair and a wide smile, half-bows to us as we make our way down the steps. We go through the border in record time through a small entrance that not even those with Nexus can use, and then Riley is waving goodbye to us as Caden literally scoops her up in his arms with a nod in our direction and carries her away through the busy airport. He and Benji didn’t speak on the flight here, but I’m sure they’ll get over themselves.
“Are they always so nauseating?” I ask Benji, who is at my side. The sun is just now rising and yet Benji, as always, looks so damn good it’s almost hard to look at him. He’s got his dark shades pushed up on his head, he’s wearing a dark blue, zip-up jacket with a black, collared shirt underneath, and dark jeans. He didn’t even bring a bag.
I’ve got my purse over my shoulder, and I’m wearing a black skirt with tights—he warned me it was going to be cold, considering it’s October, and he wasn’t wrong—and a silver sweater.
Benji’s lips pull into a smile and he glances at me, the flecks of emerald in his eyes shining. “Yep,” he answers. “Except when they’re fighting.” He gestures toward the exit across from us and we start walking. “Then they’re worse. You thought what you saw this morning was bad?” He laughs, shaking his head. “It was nothing.”
Although, I’d argue, this morning they weren’t really fighting. It was more like Caden wanted to kill Benji, but I don’t bring it up again since it was basically my fault.
He holds open the door and we walk across the busy entrance to the airport, into the parking lot.
“Do they fight a lot?” I ask him, wrapping my arms around myself. It’s more than cold. It’s fucking freezing compared to North Carolina’s fall.
