Her words were true, and based on the way Amon rubbed the back of his neck, he didn’t disagree. But it didn’t mean he understood it, and he needed to. Being around her could very well be a death sentence, one she didn’t want to put on anyone else. The further she pushed him away from her, and everyone else for that matter, the safer they’d all be.
She fanned her face. When did it get so hot in here?
Amon walked toward her. She tried to jump around him to get to the door, but he blocked her by grabbing hold of her arm. She flicked his grasp away and side-stepped him, turning the knob. “I think it’s time to go.”
As Jasmine started to pull the door open, Amon slammed his palm into it, closing it. “Can you just wait a minute?”
Jasmine stood there, her back to him, for what felt like forever. She could hear his steady breathing and feel his heat against her, but she couldn’t look at him. Not yet. Maybe not ever. She couldn’t deal with the way he made her feel and she couldn’t resist those feelings, no matter how hard she tried. Once her hands stopped shaking, she dropped them to her sides and spun around, keeping her eyes glued to the floor. “What?”
He tipped her chin up. “Jasmine, I haven’t known you very long, and I don’t claim to be an expert on anything, but you must stop pushing people away. I am not like everyone else. I am stronger. Sure, I may die tomorrow, but let me ask you a question. If you died tomorrow, would you have regrets?”
She didn’t have to think about the question long before she answered with a nod, looking everywhere in the room but at Amon.
He scrunched down, making it impossible not to meet his eyes. “What would they be?”
She could give him this much, so she met his eyes head on. “I’ve never really lived.” Her voice came out barely more than a whisper.
“Do you want to live?” Amon smiled, shaking his head. “I don’t mean that the way it sounds. I mean…gah! I am screwing this up.”
A little flutter flew through Jasmine’s chest, a butterfly’s wings flapping across her heart. She’d never laid eyes on the vulnerable side of Amon, but here he stood, baring himself in front of her. Letting her see who he was. Not the proper leader, but the man who lay in wait behind that mask. She’d been so afraid to admit her feelings for him, but she had always had them, maybe from the time she’d first laid eyes on him. Destiny had to have played a role in all of this, somehow, someway. If she followed her heart, really let herself, she’d fall into his arms with no more hesitation.
But how could she when everyone she loved died right in front of her eyes? She didn’t want to put him in danger again. But God help her, she couldn’t fight her heart anymore.
Bringing her hand up, she placed her open palm against his cheek. “You make me feel like I’m living.” She forced her eyes to remain on his, even though all she really wanted to do was look away. The tips of her ears felt like they were on fire, but she’d started this, so she had to keep going. Had to finish telling him…even though her stomach hardened at the thought. “I have never, not in my life, felt this way before. Not even with Beau. That’s what scares me. Not that I like you. Not that I want you. But that I feel like without you around, I might not be able to live.”
“It scares me too. More than you know. But fighting this thing is doing neither of us any good.” He rested his hand over hers. “I am a fallen angel, the lowest of the low. You deserve someone much better than me.”
Jasmine narrowed her eyes. “I think demon blood trumps fallen angels. Just a little.” She pinched her fingers together.
He shook his head. “No. It doesn’t. But it’s useless to argue. The point is, I don’t deserve someone as pure as you.”
Jasmine rolled her eyes and dropped her hand from his face. “Okay, this got cheesy fast.” Then she laughed. “And, newsflash. Didn’t you hear my real parents? I have demon blood running through my veins, Amon. Real, honest to God, demon blood. The irony in that alone…” She paused. “I haven’t even been able to think about any of that yet. I’m still thinking about my mom. And this.” She motioned between them. “It makes me feel horrible because I shouldn’t be here romancing the sexy fallen angel when my whole family is gone. My ex-boyfriend is dead. And I’m still here to see another day.”
Amon pursed his lips before folding his arms over his chest. “Guilt is a dangerous emotion. It will drag you down before you ever know it started. Either way, you need to know that you deserve happiness. Even more, your family would never want you to be miserable if they loved you. They would want you to move past the hurt and the pain and live.”
Jasmine paced back and forth for several seconds before walking to the window. The sun shone on a beautiful day, full of green leaves and happy kids strolling down the sidewalk. Cars flew past the house, not following the speed limit. If only she could stay here, where life still seemed so normal. If only the war would evaporate into nothing more than a bad dream. But even if she wished for those things on a shooting star, it wouldn’t make them come true. Wishing was a child’s fantasy, and she no longer had that luxury.
Amon didn’t follow her, instead backed up toward the door. “When you’re ready, I will await you downstairs. Take your time, but please, if you do nothing else I ever ask you to, at least think about what I’ve said.”
I will.
She didn’t say it out loud. Didn’t need to. Amon had to know how much she already thought about him without his words. She’d all but told him. Sometimes, two people were stronger together than apart. But how would she know if they were? No matter the answer, the thought of being with him no longer scared her. Not like it used to. If Amon were a fire, she’d walk right through his flames and never look back. Of course, it helped that fire didn’t really hurt her. At least, she didn’t think it did.
Could she actually do it? This could very well be the worst decision she’d ever make in her life. Could she throw caution to the wind and follow her heart knowing that?
But for the first time in her life, she no longer felt alone. Sure, she’d had her dad and her grandparents, but even with their love, she’d still been different, and that made her feel so alone all the time. She’d known from the start she’d never belonged here, with them. Even though they loved her and she tried to fit in, she never could. Because she wasn’t like anyone here.
Finding out who her real parents were, that they were actually a demon and an angel, she understood why they had to give her away and she understood they wanted to keep her safe, but the result had been her loneliness.
Everything had changed now. She had her real parents. She had Amon…even if she told him she didn’t want him, he would argue, and he’d be right, because she’d never wanted anything more. Something that felt so right couldn’t be wrong. Even she knew that.
No more hesitation. She would dive head first. She could follow her heart and still be what the others needed her to be. She just knew it.
With her mind made up, she rushed down the stairs. Amon stood against the living room wall, but he didn’t stand alone, so she tugged him by the arm outside. Before she closed the front door, she leaned her head back in and hollered, “We just need a minute.”
“Jasmine? Is something else wrong?”
She let her hand slide down his arm, where she grasped his hand, twining their fingers together. “No. Nothing is wrong. At all.”
Amon looked at their hands locked together, then raised his eyebrows at her.
“I finally figured it out.” She smiled up at him. “I can’t fight the pull between us anymore. While you’re here, and probably even after, you are mine.”
Amon growled. “Am I?” His eyes twinkled with desire.
“You are. So don’t even think about saying no.”
He kissed her then. Gently. Like an explorer embarking on a new world for the first time. Even though this was their third kiss. Not that she’d been keeping count.
But maybe she had been. Just a little.
The third kiss made her fee
l the same as the first. Her body burned, like flames had wrapped around her everywhere he touched her, and even where he didn’t.
A thrill shot through her and she realized no matter what else happened, she’d made the right decision here.
The kiss ended too fast, but they couldn’t stay here any longer. It was time to go back to home base.
Amon’s sappy grin made her smile back at him. “Did you happen to call Cole yet?”
Jasmine shook her head. “No, I haven’t. I’ll do that now. If you could get everyone rounded up and ready, I’ll call right after I go say goodbye to my mom.”
Amon’s eyes turned sad. “Go, then. Take your time. We will leave as soon as you are ready.”
“Thank you.”
Amon squeezed her hand once then released her. She walked to the backyard and stood by her mom’s favorite tree.
Jasmine kept her voice low, not that she thought she’d be overheard, but because it felt right. “Mom, I’m sorry. For everything. I think we could have made a fresh start. I just want you to know I’ve put our past behind us.” Jasmine paused, her eyes starting to water. “I know we had our differences, but in a way, I’m glad we did. I am just so sorry I didn’t make it back in time to save you.”
Jasmine cried softly, wiping her cheeks with her hand as the tears fell. She had to get this all out though. “Thank you for taking me in, Mom, even though you never really wanted kids. Thank you for taking care of me, even when it seemed like you weren’t. Say hi to Dad, will ya?”
And with that, Jasmine kissed her hand and blew against it, aiming at the dirt. She remembered a time when she’d blow kisses at her mom. Even with all the bad times, there were still good memories, ones that no one could take from her. She hadn’t remembered all of them, but they’d started coming back to her. Piece by piece, bit by bit. Death often erased the bad, leaving only the good behind. Jasmine didn’t know why it worked like that, but it did.
As she walked to the front of the house, her heart lightened more than it had in such a long time—she’d forgotten how good it could feel. She smelled roses from the small garden at the side of the house and breathed it in, letting the sun caress her face.
Things weren’t perfect. She wasn’t perfect. She had so many faults she couldn’t even count them all on two hands, but she was human, so there had to be hope for her. Wait. Can I even say that? I’m not human, am I?
If she could save the world, it might keep her tied to humanity. If she defeated the demon army. No big deal, right?
Before she made it to the SUV, she remembered she’d forgotten to call Cole. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and swiped the screen to unlock it. Then she dialed the number and tapped her finger on the green call button.
It rang and rang, but nobody answered and it went to voice mail. She tried one more time, but again, no answer. She shrugged, tucking her phone away and meeting the others at the SUV. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Did you speak with Cole?” Amon asked.
She shook her head. “No answer, but I will try again on our drive back.”
Amon nodded and climbed in the driver’s seat. She climbed in beside him, and Amber, Azzy, and Ella hopped in the back.
Jasmine raised her brows. “Where’s Moloch?”
“He has to keep his cover, so he went to join Bael’s side.” Ella frowned, looking down at her lap. Then she looked up and smiled, but it looked forced. “I hope you don’t mind if I tag along.”
“Not at all. I have a lot of questions.” Jasmine wanted to ask each and every one of them now, but she needed to pace herself. Even though she felt like she needed them as much as she needed food to stay alive. Those answers could be her sustenance. The journey had been long without any.
Her angel mother sat in the backseat now, after all these years. Jasmine wouldn’t let anything come between them and she would keep her mother safe. This time, she wouldn’t fail.
She understood why her mother couldn’t keep her in Heaven. If anyone had found out about her, Jasmine could only imagine what they would have done to her.
Her guilt and anger wouldn’t hold her back anymore. As she took a deep breath, she let it all fly out on the exhale. Jasmine slumped in the passenger seat and let her arm hang over the console, locking her fingers with Amon. The time might not be right for romance, but it didn’t matter. She might not get another chance.
She smirked, realizing Amon drove with only one hand since his other one held hers. For the first time in forever, she almost felt normal.
Chapter 9
Escaping the Madness
Bael
Running for his life? Well, that didn’t happen every day. Bael seethed. He knew if he’d stayed at Jasmine’s mother’s house, he might have been in trouble. He didn’t think they could kill him. Not him. They didn’t know the first thing about killing a demon like him, but death wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to him. They could capture him, and he could tell that wouldn’t be the best time of his life. Not by any means.
So, instead of sticking around, he ran through the streets and weaved through houses. The car he’d taken had been parked close to the house and it would be too risky going back for it. He mentally cursed himself for not thinking that part of the plan out a little better. He’d just have to live and learn. Or just learn, since he couldn’t say he was alive. He snickered.
At least he wouldn’t grow tired. He could run forever and it wouldn’t phase him. Being a demon had its perks. He’d like to see a weak human try this. It could be the amusement he needed right now.
A black car slowed beside him, pulling up to the curb and stopping. How had they caught him? He glared into the tinted windows, ready to fight. To outmaneuver. Whatever it took to get away. But when a window rolled down, he grinned from ear to ear. “Ah. Moloch. You’ve come to save the day. I had wondered what had become of you.”
Moloch raised his chin. “I almost got caught, but slipped away unnoticed. Somehow. But I had to hide. Jasmine knows what I look like from before. Patience became my strength this evening.”
Bael slipped into the passenger seat. “I’m actually glad to see you. And I don’t say that often. In fact, it kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”
Moloch laughed. “Probably best not to say it again, then.”
Bael grinned. “Probably not.”
As Moloch drove off, Bael looked at him. “I suppose we need a plan now.”
“Bael!” Lucifer screamed into his mind.
Bael crushed his hands to his ears. “Yes, Master?” He rolled his eyes, hating the fact that he had to call Lucifer Master.
“You do realize I can hear your thoughts right now.”
“Yes, Lucifer. I realize that.”
“Then you know that I know you hate calling me Master, yes? What am I to do about that?”
Bael shrugged. “Absolutely nothing?”
“Yes, well, there’s nothing I can do now. I need you back here. Are you done playing with the woman? How did your plan work?”
What was this? An interrogation?
“One question at a time.” He snickered out loud before continuing. “My plan did not work. I grew impatient. I know what you’re going to say. A demon is only as good as his word, right?” Another snicker. A demon’s word meant absolutely nothing, and Bael knew that better than most. “I gave Jasmine five days, but I couldn’t stand her mother any longer than three. Of course, they showed up right after I lit the bitch on fire.”
“The bitch? Is she a dog? Or have you been spending too much time with the humans?”
Bael sighed. “You know very well what I mean when I use that word. You may be older than dirt, but you are well aware of the language of this time.”
Lucifer laughed. “Yes, I am. I just love annoying you. You make it extremely easy.”
Bael clenched his fists. “While I enjoy our chats tremendously, what exactly do you want?” Bael paused before remembering something. “What happened to yo
u? I thought you were coming to the house to check up on me.”
“My wants are simple. I need you back here. I was going to follow Jasmine and her gang to the house and indeed I did start to, but had to turn back when I saw her band of supposed heroes marching through the streets like they owned them. So…I captured them all.”
“You what?” Bael couldn’t have heard him right. Lucifer never liked to get his hands dirty.
“You did hear me right. I captured every last one of them. Not by myself, of course—my army came in handy. But they are locked up nonetheless. I need you back here to help make sure they stay that way. If you want Jasmine, you can offer a trade. But…you won’t be following through with the trade. Just remember that.”
“As if I keep my word anyway. You heard what I did to her mother.”
“Yes. I did. But I also know you, and I know that you are a bit soft at heart. Now, hurry back, my little demon offspring. You have work to do.”
Static filled his mind as Lucifer switched their inner dialogue off. Bael cupped his ears again until the sound stopped, but by the time it did, it felt like his head might explode.
“So, I’m guessing the reason you got quiet all of a sudden wasn’t because you fell asleep?” Moloch chuckled. “Lucifer again?”
Bael gazed over at the demon behind the wheel, driving like he’d been born to do just that. His second. The only demon he could count on, or trust for that matter. “How did you guess?”
“It could have been the clenched fists or the constant eye rolling that gave it away.”
Bael smiled. “Yes. There is that, isn’t there?” He paused, scratching his chin. “It was Lucifer. He has a mission for us. He’s captured the rest of Jasmine’s group. The ones they didn’t bring along. He wants us back now.”
Surrounded By Flames (The Flames Trilogy Book 2) Page 8
