by Dean, Ali
I clear my throat. “Yeah, we met last week at Riptide. Remember when I hit my head? Beck saw that and helped me out.”
Griffin’s hand moves from my shoulder to the space between my shoulder blades, settling on my lower back. I think it’s a silent request to look at him, but my head turns the other way, to Beck.
He’s the one raising his eyebrows at me now. “I gave her a ride back to campus,” he adds, and I feel Griffin’s hand on my back tighten.
There’s a long silence as everyone looks between one another.
Ellie breaks the tension. “Then Griffin recognized you from Taylor Sly’s Instagram video when we went to brunch later that morning. What a coincidence!” Her exclamation lands flat.
Beck deadpans, “Yes, what a coincidence.”
Griffin speaks over my head. “Wait, so when our sisters were talking about Jordan on Thursday afternoon, you’d already met her?”
“Yeah.” That’s all he says. I can practically feel them having a silent conversation over my head.
Lucy, Zora and Ellie are watching them intently, as if they can decipher the meaning. If they figure it out, I hope they’ll fill me in.
* * *
Beck
Griffin and I hold one another’s gazes and I refuse to back down first.
My eyes tell him: No, I’m not fucking sorry for keeping this from you.
His eyes are just asking: Why? Why didn’t you say anything?
He’s searching my face for answers, remembering all the opportunities I had to say something, and I give him my answer without words.
I want her. I want her to be mine, not yours.
When Griff got ready to leave the apartment tonight, I asked where he was headed. As soon as he told me he was going to frat row, I told him I was coming along. He didn’t try to talk me out of it. I can’t even remember the last time we hit up frat row. It’s been years, I know that much. Maybe Griff assumed I was trying to go all-in with the college student thing this semester. Maybe he thought I had my eye on a particular girl from classes. Or maybe he knew damn well I suspected what he was up to. Either way, we spent the entire walk here in complete silence.
When I escaped the swarm of girls a minute, leaving Griff to work his magic, I overheard enough to understand what Griff had in mind tonight. And there’s no way I’m letting that happen.
Griff shakes his head a little, like he’s too shocked to know how to respond. I tilt my chin up. He knows I’m not doing this to be petty. He knows I’ve got nothing to prove. Not between us. Until this very moment, I figured he’d back off as soon as he saw how I felt. But I’m starting to wonder if I misread the situation.
Seconds tick by, maybe it turns to minutes.
I can’t back down. I’m not going to stand by while my best friend goes after the first girl I’ve ever wanted like this. I assumed he was only looking to hook up with her, but as he narrows his eyes I recognize he genuinely likes Jordan. Maybe even thought she’d be different for him, too. My chest burns with that acknowledgement, but it only makes me that much more determined. I definitely won’t be standing by to watch him fall for her while I’d thought I’d been noble, doing the right thing, by letting her go. Hell no.
I’m here now. And Griffin can’t have her. No fucking way.
My eyes burn as I refuse to even blink.
Griffin presses his lips together in the smallest of smiles, but I don’t miss it. He looks away, and every muscle in my body loosens.
“Wait until Naomi and Summer hear about this,” Griffin mutters. I can hear the laughter in his voice, and even as I sense Jordan shift uncomfortably beside me, I relax further. For the first time all damn week, I finally feel like myself again.
Chapter Seventeen
Jordan
“So are you girls set on frat row for your birthdays or can we talk you into a different scene?” Beck asks, ignoring Griffin’s comment.
Ellie is the first to answer. “It depends. Will we meet guys?”
Griffin laughs. “What? We’re not good enough for you?”
Ellie just raises her eyebrows. “I can do math.”
Lucy prevents the conversation from going sideways, or I guess further sideways. “Yeah, you guys on frat row would be a disaster, huh? You escaped the first onslaught of sorority girls, but I don’t know how long you’d be standing if you went in there.” She gestures to the growing crowds only a block away. Once again, I feel like an idiot for inviting Griffin tonight. Most people on campus would recognize him, and it’d be like dropping a bloody carcass in a shark tank.
Both guys chuckle at that, and I’m relieved the tension seems to have broken. At least, it seems to have broken for everyone else. I’m still strung tight, ready to bolt any second. Could this night get any worse?
“Let’s head to our place, we’ll need a car,” Beck says.
“Your place?” I squeak out. So they are roommates. Wait, did Beck know all week that Griffin had met me, called me, taken me skateboarding?
No one answers me as they start walking in the opposite direction from the party. Griffin turns to Beck. “You know, we should text Taylor. He went out somewhere already. But you know he’ll be pissed if he finds out we hung out with mystery girl without him.”
I stop walking. My legs have been stiffly going along up until this moment, but now they won’t budge. Beck’s the first to notice and he stops and turns back. The rest of the group follows his lead.
“Taylor Sly? So, all of you are friends, then?” I clarify. I can’t even look at him or Griffin. My eyes dart between my friends. If the guys’ relationships are anything like my friendship with these girls, that means they’ve all talked.
“Yeah. We’re roommates,” Griffin clarifies.
I fight against squeezing my eyes shut. What is going on right now? Has this entire week been set up to fuck with me? I’ve already made this the most awkward night ever, I can’t ruin it by bolting. All I can do is pretend like I’m totally unaffected. Completely detached.
So I force my frozen legs to move again and dart my eyes to Griffin. “You can text him, but if he comes he can’t take any videos of me.” I don’t know if I meant for it to be a joke, but everyone laughs.
Beck hangs back with me while Griffin leads us to wherever the guys live. I have so many questions for Beck, but I’m inexplicably too angry with him to say a word. Distrustful. Confused. Which doesn’t even make sense, because I’m the one who’s been hanging out with his best friend all week. I’m the one who asked his roommate to kiss me tonight.
Oh my God. Did Griffin tell him about that? I will die.
Again, what was I thinking? Something about the rush of skateboarding and hanging out with outgoing girls had me acting crazy on Thursday. And then again tonight when I followed through with it. Maybe my new friends aren’t such a good influence. Maybe I’m trying too hard to be like them, and it’s not me at all.
As Griffin opens the door to an apartment building, Beck grabs my hand, forcing me to look at him. Those eyes on me send my heart racing. “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”
The rattling in my chest settles at his words, but I’m still on edge. It’s like he knew what I was thinking or feeling, but how much does he really know? I search his face for clues. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m still pissed you planned to kiss my best friend tonight, but we’ll get it sorted.”
I pull my hand away from his and storm after the others. He did not just say that. I can’t look at him, or Griffin, who holds the door. Beck sounded so relaxed, so laid back as he dropped that bomb. Meanwhile, I’ve never been so humiliated. He is so full of it. Griffin is so full of it. The girls glance back at me as they go ahead up a flight of stairs.
I want to tell them to turn their asses around, we’re going home. But it’s my fault we’re in this mess in the first place. I was expecting a lesson on kissing for my eighteenth birthday but instead I’m getting a big fat reminder why I’ve never gotten involved wit
h guys in the first place. It only brings a clusterfuck of heart-wrenching embarrassment and confusion. And for what?
We get up to the guys’ apartment only to grab car keys, turn around, and pile into Beck’s van. With the setup in the back, there’s only one row of seating behind the driver and passenger, and all four of us girls have to squeeze in unless we want to sit on the bed.
“Where are we going?” Zora asks once we’re on the road.
“Roller skating,” Beck answers.
“Are you joking or being serious?” Zora asks, glancing over at me like I’ll have the answer.
Griff turns to look back at my friends. “You guys don’t skateboard, right? This is a fun alternative.”
Lucy leans forward. “I didn’t even know they had roller skating rinks anymore. Isn’t that like, a family activity for parents and little kids? Are they open this late?”
“Nah,” Beck says. “The Saturday night scene’s awesome.”
“Uh, you guys go roller skating a lot on Saturday nights?” I wonder. This really does not fit with the image I’ve been carrying around of these two.
Beck and Griff glance at each other. “Yeah,” Beck says. “We like any activity on wheels.”
“Hmmm…” Zora says so only I can hear her. I glance over and she’s peeking at me from under her eyelashes. I roll my eyes.
“Well, I’m excited,” Ellie declares. “I don’t know if my outfit will work, but it’ll have to do.”
I’m slowly easing out of my pity party, if only for the sake of my friends. It’s Lucy’s birthday too, and maybe this will end up being more fun than a frat party anyway. For her, I mean. I’m not going to admit to anyone that despite everything that sucks about tonight, the change in activity for tonight’s plans actually makes me very happy.
A man who looks to be in his eighties gets us our roller skate rentals. He knows the guys, and asks Griffin about his knee and Beck about classes.
Beck comes over to the bench I’m sitting at with two pairs of roller skates in hand. I’m expecting him to hand me the pair in my size, but instead he gets on his knees and tells me to put my foot out.
“I can do it myself.”
“Just put your foot out, Jordan, I want to see if it fits and the laces are tricky.”
He’s kneeling there with the skate open, waiting. Unless I want to be a brat, I don’t really have a choice. Griffin is still chatting with the man behind the desk. Zora, Lucy, and Ellie are all lacing up their own skates on the bench beside us, giving me knowing looks.
The back of my neck is hot. If Griffin turns around, what will he think? All of his actions since discovering Beck and I know each other have indicated he’s backed off. There’s no way the two of them had time to discuss anything, and I feel like this is some weird set-up. Like maybe they’re messing with me. But neither guy has given me anything but straightforward honesty. Sure Beck was a little weird on the quad on Tuesday, but other than that he’s been direct and easygoing.
“I’ve never done this before,” I admit as he laces up.
“Roller skate?”
“Yeah. Why roller skating?” The truth is, this entire outing seems so innocent, like an activity the guys would take their little sisters to do. It’s not as if I can forget how Beck brushed me off as soon as he learned my age. “Did you think I wasn’t old enough for a frat party?” I try to sound light, like I’m teasing, but I know he can hear the twinge of hurt and bitterness.
He knots the laces and looks up, a smirk on his lips. He’s not going to acknowledge it, at least not right now. Instead, he points to a sign by the desk. “From ten PM to midnight it’s eighteen-plus only.”
My foot swings up, knocking him in the shin so he falls backward. Someone gasps, but Beck is just rolling on the ground now laughing. I stand up slowly, getting a feel for the skates on my feet. My eyes catch Griffin’s as I do. There’s mischief there, but it’s not the flirtatious look that he’s directed at me before. As my legs shake beneath me, I shoot him a questioning frown. Maybe he can clue me in here.
His eyes dart down to Beck, who doesn’t seem in a big hurry to get off the ground. Then Griffin makes eye contact with me again and smiles with a knowing eyebrow raise, like that’s his answer to my question.
I pull out my phone from my back pocket and text him. “Did you set me up? I thought we had a deal.” I’m still referring to this kiss, even if I know it’s off the table tonight. I just need some answers.
As Griffin pulls his phone out I step over Beck and take Lucy’s hand in an attempt to get some support on our way to the door. “This is almost as hard as skateboarding,” she grumbles.
“No, this is definitely harder. There’s something not right about having the wheels actually attached to your feet.”
We sway back and forth, giggling when we barely make it to the rink’s edge without taking each other out. The rink is empty, and when I check my watch I see it’s just turning ten PM now. The rink plunges into darkness before strobe lights flash and eighties music starts blaring.
The others are still lacing up and I turn to Lucy. “Is this okay? I know it’s not what you had planned for your birthday.”
Lucy smiles and holds my hands. “Are you kidding? If we can figure out how to use these things this might become our new Saturday night jam.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Girl, Zora and Ellie are only hitting the frat parties because they don’t know what else to do. Well, that and they want to meet hot guys. But based on last Saturday night, that’s not really the place to do it.”
“What? I don’t believe that. There have to be tons of hot guys at those parties.” I’ve seen more attractive guys around campus in one week than I’ve seen in my entire life.
“Yeah, but they were either jerks, drunk, or if they seemed nice enough, they were taken already.” She scrunches up her nose. “That’s not to say we won’t keep looking, I mean we were optimistic tonight our luck would be different.”
Zora stumbles our way a moment later with Ellie beside her. “I think our luck is about to change,” Ellie says with glee before falling to her knees. “Shit, this is harder than skateboarding. Maybe we should’ve done that instead.”
“See?” Lucy says, elbowing me before reaching out a hand to help Ellie up.
Before sliding my phone into my back pocket I notice a text from Griffin. “Not a set-up. I might not be the one giving you the present you wanted tonight, but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for Brazen.”
I don’t get a chance to process what any of that means. Zora puts a hand on my shoulder and loud-whispers, “Your Instagram buddy Taylor Sly just showed up with a whole crew of guys. I swear, this night just keeps getting better and better!” Her eyes light up and I dart my eyes behind her to the rental area where I see another five guys standing around with Griffin and Beck.
“Better and better, huh?” I guess that’s one way of putting it.
Chapter Eighteen
Beck
Taylor, Griff and the guys lace up their skates as I not-so-discreetly watch Jordan with her girls. She’s already skating comfortably around the rink while the other three can barely stay upright without holding onto the side.
Now that Taylor’s here, it looks like we’ll be bringing the party to the rink. If Taylor can be counted on for anything, it’s making a party happen.
It feels right bringing Jordan and her friends here. Bars are off the table, since they aren’t twenty-one yet. Which is fine, bars aren’t really my scene anyway. Even with good company, sitting around drinking gets boring real fast. Roller skating isn’t the most adventurous way to spend a Saturday night, but this rink is one of my favorite places around. Griff and I have been coming here since we were kids, same with our sisters. Our first summer job was at the front desk. We met so many girls at that job. I must have made out with at least a dozen in the back room. Nah, my memory probably hyped that up, it was more like a half dozen. Griffin probably had a dozen;
his game has always been stronger than mine.
Mick’s gruff voice cuts through my thoughts. “It’s the one in jeans, isn’t it?”
I chuckle. “How’d you know?”
“Old men know these things, Beckett. You can’t take your eyes off her. Does she know?”
I smile, shaking my head. “I feel like I’m sixteen again.” Mick used to give us advice about how to talk to girls, how they liked to feel special, and to always be as honest as possible or it would bring a world of trouble.
“You’ve never brought a girl to the rink before, in all the years I’ve known you.”
Laughing, I slap a palm on his shoulder. “Should I be worried about your memory? This was our favorite place to bring girls in high school.”
“Hmmm. I don’t know that I ever caught you fixated on one in particular. You just went with whatever was convenient. Griffin usually had an agenda and you never wanted to get in the way. You never cared enough.”
My hand slips from his shoulder as he speaks, and he turns his eyes away from the rink to mine.
I’ve never thought of it like that before.
Mick’s white eyebrows raise slightly. “Well? What are you waiting for? Go get her.”
Chapter Nineteen
Jordan
The rink is filled with nearly thirty people now, and they all seem to know Taylor, Griffin, and Beck. They should look out of place and ridiculous but instead they own the rink, busting out moves to the familiar tunes. My friends can’t seem to figure out how to roller skate, but they are having the time of their life. I still can’t let my guard down though, even as I smile and laugh along with everyone else.
I’m not faking it, at least I don’t think so. I am having fun. But I’m also wary. Beck has been circling me, touching my hip or brushing our knuckles every now and again. I might not know much, but I’m aware what he’s doing. He’s staking a claim, and I don’t know how to feel about it. Part of me is thrilled, and another part of me is suspicious, annoyed, and angry. Griffin’s already flirting with other girls, apparently having gotten the message Beck’s been sending. After an hour, my friends have each zeroed in on a guy and paired off. And I’m exhausted.
