by A. F. Dery
“I hadn’t realized you were so well traveled when you were in Ytar,” Thane said, leaning forward a little in his interest. He realized he didn’t know nearly so much as about her as he could and yearned to ask her more, but felt a reticence when he recalled the one “tutor” of hers he had met himself. Now is not the time, he told himself sternly, then to her: “You will probably find it an easy matter settling in here, then.”
“I expect there are differences in this part of the world, in this culture. I’m a little nervous about it,” Kesara admitted. “Where I’m from, everyone would have known what I was, no explanation necessary and no assumptions made about it. But here? And all the more because misunderstandings could reflect badly on you.”
“Please stop worrying about misunderstandings, it will be fine. And just because I was ignorant of the existence of your kind doesn’t mean everyone here at Court will be. Even though Mirrors are obviously rare around here, Graunt at least knew what you were. Surely others here do as well. It just doesn’t come up since we don’t see any of them,” Thane said, trying to reassure her.
“Still…maybe it is better if I just keep out of sight, with the other servants, as much as possible,” Kesara said uncertainly, twisting her hands together in her lap.
“That is what I expect will end up happening, though I expect the High Lord will want to meet you himself at least once,” Thane said. “Not because I don’t want you around, you understand, it’s just that…” he trailed off, unsure how to explain.
“No, I understand. I’m a servant and servants don’t seem to mix with the upper castes here. I don’t mind it, milord, in fact it will be a relief. I never really enjoyed those kinds of social events anyway,” Kesara said with a faint smile.
He wasn’t sure how to interpret that, and wanted to ask her what “social events” she was referring to, but the “milord” she was using reminded him uncomfortably of the matter he had brought her there for.
“Listen, what I wanted to talk to you about…first, please won’t you use my name? It feels ridiculous to be addressed by you like I’m a stranger, even when we’re alone,” Thane said plaintively.
“Oh, yes, of course, Thane,” she said sheepishly, coloring a little. “I just forget, switching back and forth between ‘public’ and ‘private.’”
“Then don’t worry about switching back and forth. It doesn’t matter who hears you. My men probably already think I’ve lost my mind bringing you with me. And I don’t really care what anyone else thinks.” Thane took a deep breath. “And on that note, I do care what you think, and it was brought to my attention today that I owe you an apology.”
“Is that on the same note as losing your mind, Thane? Because that’s not terribly flattering,” Kesara said, trying visibly not to smile. Her eyes crinkled in the corners anyway and he almost smiled himself.
“No, it’s not. It’s the name thing. I’ve been shortening your name since the first day we met, and I was unaware this was an insult to you. So I’m sorry for that,” Thane said, forcing himself to speak slowly enough for outside comprehension, even though he longed to just blurt it all out in one breath and be done with it.
“Oh, that,” Kesara said, looking surprised. “I didn’t even think of it that way. I mean, I guess it was a little annoying at first, but I wasn’t really insulted. I know you don’t have the same customs as I grew up with so it never even occurred to me that you were being insulting.” She looked down at her hands, frowning a little. “I just…well, if I may be honest, it never made sense to me to shorten it in the first place, it’s not a terribly long or complicated name, is it?”
“Uh, well, not exactly,” Thane said with a suppressed grimace. I knew I’d have to explain. I knew I’d never get away with just saying sorry and that being the end of it! He wanted to smack himself in the forehead but instead he waited until she looked up again, met her eyes and said as calmly and neutrally as possible, even as he felt the blood rushing traitorously to his face with every word, “It is very difficult for me to say your name. The ‘k’ and the ‘r’ and the ‘s’ all together like that. I have a habit of avoiding things I find humiliating, like trying to say certain words- such as ‘embarrassing,’ which has much the same issue for me as your name.” He forced out the offending word very slowly and carefully, but was still excruciatingly aware of how he looked with his tongue clumsily trying to roll out the word in his huge, misshapen mouth. “Just the same, I did not mean to be insulting, by anyone’s custom.”
Kesara’s mouth formed a silent “oh” and she reddened too. Embarrassed by his embarrassment? It was hard for him to tell and he let himself look away from her startled blue eyes, seeking refuge in fidgeting with the stone on top of the writing table that he supposed was meant to hold down papers in the event of a draft.
He was startled into looking back up into those eyes when she suddenly laid a hand over his on the rock, stilling his fidgeting. She had come over so silently he had not even noticed her approach. Wow, some warlord I am today, he thought, surprised.
“Thane, I am not now, nor was I ever, insulted. I don’t how this came to your attention, but it was wrong of whoever or whatever-it-was to bring it there. I understand, and I hope you will continue calling me whatever you are comfortable with. I don’t mind it. And more, I am honored you would tell me this, when you certainly were under no obligation to explain yourself if you didn’t want to.” Her fingers tightened briefly over his, and she drew her hand away, leaving him staring at the spot she had just been touching. Irrationally, the skin there tingled as though coming awake after being numb from cold, though her fingers themselves had felt cool.
It was another moment before he trusted himself to speak. “I- well, thank you for that. Kes.” He cleared his throat, as his voice still hadn’t sounded quite right to him. He looked back at her and she was again seated across from the desk, regarding him with tilted head and unfathomable eyes.
“When will you meet with the High Lord?” Kesara asked after a moment.
Thane all but sighed in relief that the burden was off him for changing the subject. “Soon. He’ll send someone for me when the time comes, but it should be within the hour. It will just be greetings tonight, probably over drinks with whoever else is at Court. We won’t meet privately until tomorrow or possibly the following day, depending on how many other new guests there are. As far as I know this isn’t supposed to be a full convening of the Court, fortunately, so it shouldn’t take very long.”
“If I may ask, Thane, what exactly does the High Lord do? I still don’t really know how this Union you speak of works, but it seems to me he must have a lot of power in it,” Kesara said carefully.
Thane considered that for a moment. “Yes, he does,” he said finally. “He essentially governs the Union, acting as intermediary between its various members. There is also a sort of contract of behavior that all the Union’s allies subscribe to, the concord, and if there are breaches or questions about it, we usually defer to his judgments on such matters. There is simply no way we would all remain yoked together in any kind of harmony otherwise. Before the Union was formed, we were at each other’s throats most of the time, leaving us vulnerable to outside invaders. His country is a powerful one, in and of itself, and was the only one when the Union was formed that had never been taken over or occupied by other countries. Even Eladria has had its share of occupations in its history. But the leaders of my father’s day appealed to him for help, as they saw their people being obliterated and their countries being raped of everything they were worth by the likes of the Lyntarans, though not only them. So you see, separately, we were all in danger, but together, we have had peace, and that never would have happened without the High Lord’s assistance.”
“He has gained a lot through offering such assistance, though,” Kesara observed. “It sounds like the Union relies on him for its survival, which gives him a great deal of power by way of influence. If he threatened to withdraw his support from o
ne of the members, what would happen to them?”
“It has never happened that I know of,” Thane said. “But it wouldn’t be good, no.”
“And it sounds like those who have his favor would be at an advantage,” she added, not quite meeting his eyes. “After all, what couldn’t someone in his position arrange for his friends?”
Thane tried not to frown. “You make it sound dirty somehow, Kes, but it really isn’t. It is true he can be very helpful to those in his favor, and that he can also be, shall we say, less than interested in the prosperity of a country that does not have it. Remember, all of us in the Union rely on each other for trade as well as military support. Take Eladria, for example. Mines are fine and well, but while we’re up to our eyeballs in ore and precious metals, it only does so much good if no one will buy or trade with us. Much of our food comes from other countries, for example. Not much grows on rock, and most of what manages it isn’t actually safe to consume. The High Lord indeed benefits from overseeing such arrangements, and his friends benefit as well, but that’s the way life works. I don’t think anyone is shortchanged, even when they don’t have his favor. He may not lift a finger to help those he is displeased with outside the very letter of the laws laid down in the concord, but I have never known him during my own reign to be unfair or to violate its charters, even for those in his favor.”
“You make him sound very noble,” Kesara said quietly, looking down at her hands. “I don’t mean to sound insulting, to him or to you, but it’s been my observation that one person having quite that much power over so many others usually is anything but. I am very happy for you if he really is that good, but I won’t lie to you, Thane. I’m skeptical.”
Thane inclined his head towards her. “That is understandable, Kes, and I don’t blame you for it. You’ve never met him, after all, and Ytar is a very different place. I am not sure about nobility, but I do believe that the High Lord is just, and that he uses the power he has been given prudently, for the benefit of many peoples, not just his own. He is far from perfect, and I do not agree with every word that falls from his lips or every judgment he makes, but I do think he is honorable, or I would not allow my people to have any part in this, even if it meant standing alone in the world.”
“I believe that, Thane, and I will do my best to keep an open mind,” Kesara looked up with a wry smile. “Not that my opinion matters so very much, or that I’ll likely have much chance to form one anyway.”
Thane relaxed, realizing for the first time that he had tensed up during their conversation. I have nothing to feel defensive about, he told himself. She’s a foreigner, she doesn’t understand our ways, but she will come to it. She is reasonable, and she will see I am right.
He wasn’t sure why that mattered so much to him, but he had no time to reflect on it further before he heard a discreet rapping from the outer door.
“Sounds like it’s time,” Kesara said, standing as he did. “Would you like me to answer the door for you?”
Thane snorted. “No need, Kes. I didn’t stand on that kind of formality in my own Keep, I sure as hell wouldn’t here. Do you need anything while I’m gone?”
“No, thank you. I might go back to the kitchen and get something to eat, though,” Kesara said. “I should be back before you.”
Thane hesitated just before the door, his hand on the handle. “Just be careful, won’t you?” he said finally in a quiet tone, not looking at her. “If anyone gives you trouble, call for Graunt.” And he stepped out into the hall before he could hear her reply.
It would have been the gravest insult to be accompanied by one’s own personal guard into the High Lord’s own tower. Thane kept repeating those words to himself in his head as the High Lord’s servant escorted him there. Thane’s men guarded all entrances and exits to the tower that was solely for his use when he stayed at the palace, and apart from their courtyard exercises, they never left that tower. And although the High Lord’s own troops were impeccably trained- for Thane himself had witnessed some of that training on previous visits- he still felt strangely alone and even, somehow, naked, walking down the long corridor past his temporary dwelling towards the great, ornately carved door that led to the biggest tower.
He would not let it show, of course. He kept his chin up, his stance strong and straight, and his head slightly tilted back, which he knew with his particular deformity was quite an intimidating sight for most. He wore his hair pulled cleanly back, he made no efforts to hide himself or be discreet in this place. Everyone knew him by sight, his disfigurement was no secret, and he expected the usual reactions with a kind of boredom. It only ever troubled him here if he happened across the occasional child. There were rarely many seen at Court, though there simply had to be some. He had it on good authority that new servants did not spring fully formed from special plants or anything like that. But he took no pleasure in the terror on their little faces, not even if one of the children happened to belong to one of the other nobles, and was therefore almost inevitably as spoiled, obnoxious, and bigoted as their parents.
Unfair, Thane, he thought to himself without conviction. He was relieved to see no children on his present walk to the tower, but the servant accompanying him appeared to be little more than one, no doubt so cleanly shaven because he had no other options in life. He looked too thin and gangling to make much of an infantry soldier, Thane assessed, but with work, he might make an acceptable archer. The young man held himself upright and stared straight ahead as he walked just slightly too quickly. By all outward appearances, he was composed, but Thane saw the youth’s hand tremble on the handle when he drew open the door to the tower.
He suppressed a sigh and entered. To his right, a liveried herald announced his presence in a tone designed to be perfectly pitched to be heard over the low hum of conversation without causing the ears of anyone nearby to bleed. “The Dread Lord of Eladria, Thane, son of Victor,” the herald intoned. Thane only just stopped himself from waving. He would never get over the impulse to do that every time he heard himself announced to a roomful of people. It was a temptation that defied all rational explanation. In his dreams, he would also dance a jig, to the horror and consternation of all present, and in his very good dreams, it was on Malachi’s severed head.
Instead he proceeded with all due gravity to the end of the long, broad hall that led into the tower. Doors led off from the sides of the hall to other parts of the tower, but they were presently closed, a uniformed guard stationed to each side of every one. Small groups of lesser nobles- usually the adult children or relatives of the Court’s actual members- stood chatting here and there, falling into silence at his approach. He strode past them without even turning his head. The hall terminated- after what seemed to him to be a tediously long walk- in a very large dais, upon which sat a long, rectangular table, dressed in silk, crowned with goblets and lit candelabrum. At the very end of this table was a chair larger than the rest, not quite as ostentatious as an actual throne, but certainly greater and more ornate than any of the other chairs around the table. In it, as was always the case on these occasions, sat the High Lord.
Thane wondered for the first time as he approached what Kesara would think of the man in that chair. Thane himself had been stunned speechless the first time he had laid eyes on him. He had heard things, here and there, from his father, of course, but nothing had prepared him for the reality. Nothing possibly could.
For the High Lord of the Western Range of Almryn was beautiful. The word was not handsome, not attractive, not distinguished. None captured the reality quite accurately. He was simply a beautiful man, not quite effeminate, even though he never wore facial hair, but…beautiful. He was old enough to be Thane’s father, but he had never appeared to age in all the years Thane had known him. His skin was nearly as smooth as that of the youth who had led Thane here, lightly sun-tanned and glowing with good health. His long lashed hazel eyes sparkled with good humor, even when nothing whatsoever was amusing. Thick wavy chest
nut hair was neatly trimmed into the most fashionable style: Thane only knew what the most fashionable style was because it was always what the High Lord wore. Right now, that was long on top, his shining waves meticulously styled, and clipped short in the sides and back. His lips were full and red and quick to smile, his figure was tall and lean and fit in his immaculate, tastefully embroidered robe and trousers. Thane couldn’t see his boots from under the table, but he knew they would be polished to a mirror-like gloss. They always were.
And his voice, when he spoke, was like velvet, warm and rich and soft, always soft.
“Thane, wonderful to see you! Welcome, welcome,” the High Lord all but crooned, rising at once to his feet as Thane made a respectful bow from the proper distance. The High Lord closed that distance quickly, striding directly up to Thane and with no hesitation at all clapping one hand firmly on Thane’s opposite shoulder with an earnest squeeze.
“How I’ve missed you here, Thane! I know you can barely stand it but it’s been too long, much too long!” the High Lord beamed at him, revealing perfect, even white teeth. “I know it was nearly time for our annual meeting anyhow, so I took the liberty of calling everyone else to Court early! I thought to spare you having to return in another couple of months, I know it is not the easiest journey through those mountains.”
A litany of curses rolled through Thane’s mind as he gave his small, tight-lipped Court smile and said, enunciating carefully, “Thank you, my lord. It will save me much trouble.”
The High Lord released him, still grinning widely. “Don’t lie to me, Thane. You absolutely loathe me in this moment for calling down that kind of mischief on your head. But when it’s all over, you’ll be glad it’s done with, won’t you? No, don’t answer that yet. Tell me the next time you write me from the comfort of your own table in your own Keep.”
